Hello Tarin,


Tarin:


Will do, directly.

Tarin:



Duh! How did I miss that. Ditto its cessation (see last post)

Tarin:


How about "Its okay Howard, its alright to be a stream enterer; or not as the case may be. Either way everything is going to be just fine...or not."

Tarin:



Gotcha

Tarin:


Already on this. I only have a little experience of Jhanas but it feels a bit like that, but no effort is required. Also when its over; its over. Do something else, go back for a bit more. Like cat napping. Thank god i'm not working today. I think I'll call in sick tomorrow.

Tarin:


Ignore this, now out of date, I will be fine... or not as the case may be.

Hiya


First Sit
My chakras have been going like the clappers this morning. All 7 pumping away like hearts. I also have two secondaries behind each shoulder blade and two more at the bottom rear on each side of my rib cage. On sitting down, noticed a large mental object, a big disco ball floating in front of my solar plexus. On first noticing, it had a strong sense of physicality which is difficult to describe. I thought for a moment that a shiny traffic bollard had materialized on the floor between my feet. Then realized it was spherical. Got distracted. On second noticing it was less clear, and physical sensation was that of vertigo plus tingling on the arms. The disco ball then melted and was absorbed into my solar plexus. On third noticing was very faint but physical sensations were the same as before.

My solar plexus chakra is by far the strongest, but my brow chakra is also strong. But it is below my brow, more like between my eyes. I have a strong sense of the its entry and exit point on the front and back of my head. Some systems have a second brow chakra below the first between eyes with a reverse flow. Some systems have hundreds of the damn things all over the place. I feel the urge to dig out my old yoga books, I also feel that I should resist this urge as this is just A&P and will pass soon enough.

Can I clarify something? My task at the moment is to re-acquire all the insight skills between A&P and fruition but in this new post path environment? This will happen naturally and in its own time, but I have to make sure that I am around enough to observe it properly? This is particularly important for me, because I did not properly acquire these skills the first time around?

Second Sit - 11am
About half an hour after first sit. All the action is now above the jaw line. The lower chakras are still firing but are now muted. Brow chakra now very pronounced, primary sensation is a semicircle of strong pressure around the inside of the left eye brow. But also further up the forehead and at the temples. Repeated noticing appears to extend the pressure up the forehead to the crown chakra where it stops abruptly for a while and tingles pleasantly. Then extends down the back of the head to the occipital ridge where it merges with a strong pre-existing pressure that is probably just due to a lack of sleep. Ditto the headache. Verbalised thought objects are now muted, this is a relief.

Still A&P I think.


Third Sit - 12pm (20 mins, feels like 5)

Sudden feelings of heaviness and lethargy prompt this sit. Strong pressure is now in the lower nose and sinuses extending around in a band to the occipital ridge. Repeated noticing appears to extend the pressure up the back of the head half way to the crown. Pressure increases at the sinuses. Brow chakra is present and closer to its "traditional" position, but muted. Pressure extends down the back and front of torso to the belly. Noticing the the breath properly for the first time releases relaxation and bliss waves from the upper back and chest to the brow chakra which is now in its traditional position and pulsing more strongly. Off the cushion, brow and other "pressures" clearly noticeable. Other sensations of the larger environment now more noticeable, significant? Maybe. Now believe that the lethergy and heaviness is just indigestion.

Is this all too anal?

Still A&P i think.

Fourth Sit - 2pm (10min only short as I have to go to work)

All about the heart chakra this time. Big pulsing and bliss waves up the back of the neck to the crown. Crown and Brow activated but muted. More important, I've just noticed that slipping into and out of "meditation" is effortless and no pre-amble or warm up is neccesary. I either note the objects or not. I can interrupt the practice at will and return with no sense of dislocation. There is no aversion to practice but not particular attraction either, just keen curiosity. Hinderances are abundantly present but they have no power to distract. They are just objects to note or not as the case may be. And just as valid as anything else. I suppose they are everything else really. This feels like no big deal. Fascinating.

A&P? Suddenly I don't care.

Out in the world 2.30pm till 9pm (work & social)

So, how does all this measure up in the real world? Fascinating. Not so much for what is new but for what has gone. Or rather disappeared without trace. Whole categories of mental objects have just gone. I find it very difficult to think about the past or the future, not because I can't, but because It doesn't strike me as a productive activity anymore. I did not notice this until I had a brief vision of a future situation that I know will be uncomfortable. It was very brief but fairly painful. It was a real shock because I suddenly realised that I had not had any thoughts of the future for, well, I could not remember the last time I had thought about the future.

Also the mental echoes of caused by unpleasant feelings are just gone. So If I'm in an unpleasant situation with lots of painful feelings floating around, I feel much like I always did. But as soon as the cause of the feelings has gone, the anxiety and stress just evaporate. It feel like I am suddenly at rest. I am relaxed, because I am relaxed most of the time at the moment. But what I mean is that I feel as if I have suddenly, physically, come to rest. Difficult to describe. All this leaves a huge and very pleasant, space in my head. Time appears to go slower.

Craving and aversion are still there but they are not "sticky." I love chocolate and have been obsessed by it in the past. Now if faced with it now, I feel a large measure of my former craving and it is just as difficult to manage but if I put it in the cupboard and do some thing else, the craving fades very quickly and does not return.

I could write loads more, but I want to find out if I still enjoy some of my normal activites. Curiosity is my most prominent feeling at the moment. Maybe watch an action movie. I have no clue how I will respond to it now. I suspect that I will enjoy it much more. I hope so.

Oddly I am still unconcerned by all of this.

Thanks again

Howard

Sounds like you are having more fun than not! Fun with the "madness" too. Sounds like fun to me anyway! Also seems like if you can have fun with madness you have nothing to fear.