I wanted to get a little survey going here as to whether people had their life together before or after say SE (just to put a milestone on it). By life together I mean a career, financial stability, etc. Obviously this only applies to lay people. 


This is sort of a test of Maslow's Heirarchy of Needs where Self-Actualization is a the top, something to be attained once you have all the groundwork laid. Does attainment come easier once you don't have to worry about the basics? Or can having your life together actually be a hindrance as the career etc, can be very time consuming?


Do you believe it is important to have your life together before going for attainment or that it doesn't really matter, and perhaps, attainment will actually help you put your life together? What's your story?

I have a wife and children, and while things were not great while in "my" dark night phase for anyone, it was all still stable.

4 months before SE - Everything OK, but at an all time personal low ->

3 months before SE  - Yes, Equanimity. General, overall OK-ness ->

SE and After - Some relatioship chaos/confusion due to "personality" change, but generally still great stability. Personally, the end of "worry"/anxiety/problems.

Would you mind expanding on how it effected your relationship? In the end, would you say the changes were for the better?

As for the end of worry/anxiety, that's fantastic. Would you say this would hold even in rather nerve-wracking situations? Say, giving a public speech in front of a large audience, bungee jumping, or worse your child being in danger? 

don´t know about after SE, but i find myself very available for practice, because i have a pretty good and stable life.

some free time and no major disruptions.

no children might explain that.

 

I don't see it mentioned a lot, but SE IMHO is properly seeing nonduality. Nothing LESS than that. It's not a meditation induced state, or technical achievement - it's not even something a "person" can "do".

Properly seeing EVERYTHING empty of separateness forever changes the understanding of subject/object and self/other, decimates the 3 Sotapanna fetters, and blows out a lot of interpersonal BS you might be holding on to as part of the "selfing" process... at least it has HERE. You also now see this clearly in nearly all interpersonal relationships.

Dynamics you may have had around your "identity", like a need to be right, or how you might have unwittingly been adapting certain personas for particular people or situations begin to unravel and evaporate, as well as the distortion these things cast on how the world and "other" peoples actions are seen. What is happening essentially became very transparent and clean from a cause/effect perspective. This makes your relationships, feelings around future or past plans or ideas, tastes in things, hobbies, etc. all start to change, depending on whether they were parts of a propped up persona or things you were legitimately DRIVEN to pursue.

In the last few years since SE I have had changes to work, a parent have chancy, potentially life-threatening brain surgery, and a child who has had dramatic life changing psychological issues which I have had to dramatically act in. I have also begun teaching meditation, etc. at a prominent university twice a week, and speaking at public events around the meditation endeavor - neither of which I have previously done, and both of which I find I do not have to really prep for or worry about. None of these things have been nerve-wracking. The understanding of what this all IS is always present.

After.  I was too constantly tense before the shifts to do anything.  Once the anxiety became less crippling with more spacious awareness, I adulted.