Ending or beggining

Srdjan Slobodan Laketa, modified 3 Years ago at 11/22/18 9:20 AM

Created 3 Years ago at 11/22/18 9:20 AM

Ending or beggining

Posts: 35 Join Date: 7/9/17 Recent Posts

Anyway i meditated a lot this past year and got to nirvana. At first my mind recoiled from it but after a year or so i got it. What now. What am i by the path?

neko, modified 3 Years ago at 11/22/18 9:35 AM

Created 3 Years ago at 11/22/18 9:34 AM

RE: Ending or beggining

Posts: 756 Join Date: 11/26/14 Recent Posts

Hello Srdjan, welcome to the forum!

What is this nirvana that you got to? What does it feel like? Can you describe how it is exactly, from the perceptual point of view?

What does it mean that your mind recoiled from it, and what does it mean that now you got it?

Did you type this post from inside this nirvana? If yes, how is typing a message from inside this nirvana different than typing a message from outside of it?

I am also not sure I understand your question about the path, what would you like us to tell you, exactly?

Srdjan Slobodan Laketa, modified 3 Years ago at 11/22/18 4:30 PM

Created 3 Years ago at 11/22/18 4:30 PM

RE: Ending or beggining

Posts: 35 Join Date: 7/9/17 Recent Posts

Well, first time i saw glimpse of it, was after few months of intense meditation. I started watching breath in order to calm myself so i could sleep. I liked it, so i started doing longer sessions. I could meditate for hours cos i was so into it. At first meditation was intense cos after couple of hours i relived some things i buried in my psyche. After this it was easier and life itself seemed better, more vivid, easier. Anyway after few months, strange blip happened, after which came black nothingess that had some kind of supstance in itself. My mind recoiled-in deep meditative stage my body jerked during this blackness. I then started inquiring what happened and understood that blip was indeed cessation. I went into dark night after and this lasted about a year, i continued meditating this time by the book, mctb and tmi, and one day in the buss same blackness came, but this time i let it close, after this came sense of being centered, clearness, concentration was easier, also i became more concius if thats the word. I cant descirbe better as this was half a year ago. There was sense of redness after blackness and in the end it was luminous bit. After this some time passed if i became too angry all the anger kinda wushed away, same happened to lust... I wanted to know where am i by the path and who am i arahant, sottopana, buddha or whatever.

neko, modified 3 Years ago at 11/23/18 7:44 AM

Created 3 Years ago at 11/23/18 7:44 AM

RE: Ending or beggining

Posts: 756 Join Date: 11/26/14 Recent Posts

Hello again Srdjan,

It is very hard to diagnose people through a forum post, unfortunately. The first thing I want to say is that what you got seems nice and valuable. However, this is not what you asked... so, some things you said make me doubtful that it might have been a cessation:

1) You mention "black nothingness", but in cessation there is no colour to speak of (and black is, of course, a colour), and there is no nothingness that can be perceived (and nothingness can, in fact, be perceived, for example in 7th jhana). In fact, there is no perceiver, no perception, no nothing at all.

2) The fact that your body jerked during the blackness makes it sound very unlike a cessation.

Common candidates for things to be confused with Cessation include the A&P, Dissolution, the 7th jhana, and all sorts of near misses and state shifts. Your description of emotional side effects makes me think it might have been something A&P-like. In fact, when someone comes on this forum thinking that they got cessation, 9 times out of 10 it turns out that it is was actually the A&P, or something else.

This doesn't mean that you are practicing wrong, or that the benefits that you mention are not real or valuable or to be disregarded. In fact, I would suggest to keep doing whatever it is that you are doing, as it seems to be doing something good for you.

Hope this helps, perhaps more people will chime in.

neko

Srdjan Slobodan Laketa, modified 3 Years ago at 11/23/18 9:06 AM

Created 3 Years ago at 11/23/18 9:05 AM

RE: Ending or beggining

Posts: 35 Join Date: 7/9/17 Recent Posts

That was it, im positive. There was nothing, void, black was understatment. I said blackness cos it was most similar thing. If that was it, where does it put me on path? Sure it helps.

neko, modified 3 Years ago at 11/23/18 11:02 AM

Created 3 Years ago at 11/23/18 11:01 AM

RE: Ending or beggining

Posts: 756 Join Date: 11/26/14 Recent Posts

IF it was a cessation, as you seem convinced, you have got MCTB first path.

Technical tests for MCTB first path include an (increased) ability to reach the formed jhanas, an improvement in microphenomenological skills, the ability to experience repeat cessations with all of the associated phenomena at least partly visible (setup, entry, and exit characteristics). Some of these would be an indication. All of these a pretty solid confirmation.

Do be warned that different teachers have different standards and definitions. Someone who has MCTB first path might not pass the TMI criteria. Someone who has been diagnosed with TMI first path might not pass the MCTB criteria. I have met both kinds of "false positives".

The last paragraph to underline how this is tricky territory and to warn you against claiming paths to people without checking their language and assumptions first.

A more useful question is usually "what do I do?" rather than "what do I have?"; not that the two are completely unrelated.

Laurel Carrington, modified 3 Years ago at 11/23/18 5:46 PM

Created 3 Years ago at 11/23/18 5:46 PM

RE: Ending or beggining

Posts: 440 Join Date: 4/7/14 Recent Posts

Have you been practicing since this event, and if so, what practice? If not, why not? It seems the thing to do would be to keep practicing.