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Broken mirror
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12/16/18 4:34 PM
Here're some observations regarding my practice. When energy is high I'm able to see (with eyes closed) a mirror reflecting the "movements" of my mind. Investigation then is simple and very enjoyable - vipassana is great, seems to happen by itself. Without energy there are issues:
- dukkha nanas. Sometimes momentum isnt sufficient to pass them, it's like a barrier that needs to be penetrated,
- too many things happening below the conciousness level. I'm aware of the appearances in the mirror, but not really aware of the source of reflected objects. 

Dukkha nanas are easy -- after passing them so many times they don't stick too much. 
The second issue is like seeing movements of your hand in the mirror, but not being immediately aware (prior to seeing the reflection) that your hand is moving. 

What should I do with this? Serotonin agonists help with the 2nd issue, but I prefer not to do drugs. Ideas? It seems that certain drugs make the unconcious neural wiring patterns coscious and available for inspection / rewiring.

RE: Broken mirror
Answer
12/17/18 5:19 PM as a reply to Paul Smith.
Do you need to know the source? Or is noting how thoughts interact with sensations enough for insight practice? If you see the arisings in the mirror, that is some kind of awareness, isn’t it? This may be beyond my knowledge, so my questions are not rhetorical. Why do you need to have access to these thoughts more directly? Why isn’t the mirror image enough? Maybe you are able to notice your thoughts at a pre-processing state (somebody was talking about that at the podcast ”Deconstructing yourself” but I don’t remember who, unfortunately)?

RE: Broken mirror
Answer
12/18/18 4:31 AM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
With knowing both the source and the reflection there is this ability (feedback loop) to change and not see reflections inducing unpleasant emotions. My normal state is like having a filter in front of the mirror that distorts the reflections to make them disgusting / fearful. 

RE: Broken mirror
Answer
12/18/18 1:04 PM as a reply to Paul Smith.
Aha. Thank you for explaining!