thanks guys, appreciate your thoughful responses to a forum noob
Having said that, there is also a side-effect of a heightened general interest in people or subjects
just to clarify: do you mean it is hightened as a result of insights of the path, as in: now you are less sure
of what you knew therefor you are more open and even more carious?
and anxiety can suck the energy out of intellectual pursuits.
yes, even basic things like frustration of trying to grasp some math behind QM does suck heaps of energy out of me
you still are confident in your overall view of world and self.
i woudnt' say im confident, so far i know enough that even the bleeding-edge physics is still a
perpetually "moving target" waiting to be refined or even fundamentally rewritten as newer and deeper evidence
becomes available (via CERN, telescopes, experiments, geniuses, etc). To me it's still quite fascinating how much we do
known and what's been confirmed experimentally so far, even-though our knowlage is still likely just a tiny
fraction of how "the whole damn thing" works/is at the end
Does in motivate or unmotivate you to practise?
well, here's my favorite demotivation: Shinzen Young once said this about his enlightment:
"if i could choose 1 day of being enlightened OR entire lifetime in a normal state. I'd choose
that 1 day in a heartbeat"
to me it's especially worissome knowing that Shinzen does have keen interest in sciences (particularly
in abstract math), yet in this statement he puts such grand weight on his non-egocentric direct experience
of reality, that it basically trumps any science knowlage he could have gained, contemplated, enjoyed and
may be even advanced forward by possibly making some discoveries if he would have chosen the second option.
Shinzen is still relatively mild, compared to for example Adyashanti, who seams to be ceompletely "out there"
when it comes placing ultimate weight on experiencing englightenment.
Is it something deep in the psyche that gradually gets fliped in a way that understanding reality
methematically/scientifically/objectively becomes so much less important compared to it's direct-experience
from the "point of view" of no-self?
My own background: i stumbled on Bhante Gunaratana's "Meditation in plain English" on the web and it strongly flared up
my curiosity about meditation, many years later i found and read Daniel Ingram's "Masterig the core teaching of Buddha"
and watched some of his interviews on YT, which all pushed me to seriously consider taking on the challnage of the path,
but as i science nerd, i still weighting pros and cons of the journey