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Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?

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Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Q C 3/15/19 8:35 PM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? svmonk 3/15/19 11:01 PM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Q C 3/16/19 9:07 PM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? svmonk 3/17/19 8:43 PM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Q C 4/18/19 10:28 PM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? terry 4/5/19 4:52 PM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Jyet 3/16/19 9:22 AM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Q C 3/17/19 12:42 AM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? terry 4/5/19 4:42 PM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Q C 4/19/19 6:59 AM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Milo 4/4/19 10:26 AM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Milo 4/4/19 10:44 AM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Q C 4/19/19 7:10 AM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/5/19 12:05 AM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Q C 4/19/19 7:14 AM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/19/19 9:25 AM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Q C 4/19/19 9:37 AM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/19/19 10:23 AM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Q C 4/20/19 1:03 PM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/20/19 1:16 PM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Q C 4/20/19 2:59 PM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/20/19 3:26 PM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/20/19 3:38 PM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Q C 4/20/19 11:29 PM
RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life? Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 4/21/19 4:26 AM
Hello,

Recently experienced a major shift resulting in changes in life circumstances reflected in relationships and work. 
As of late, there has been a steady if not increasingly intense pulsation and eruptions of energy both on the superficial level as well as on a deeper bodily level which are uncomfortable, to say the least. This paired with the feeling of every ache and pain in my body even whilst lying down. What in the world is going on? And how do I stop this? Do I want to stop this? How do I keep it from ruining my life, or rather how do I keep myself from ruining my life by focusing so much on this as opposed to studying or practising for job interviews and meeting new people etc? And as opposed to 'playing to keep from failing' how can I actually use this to my best advantage and 'play to win'? 

Thanks. 

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
3/15/19 11:01 PM as a reply to Q C.
Hi QC,

First question is, did this energy appear as the result of a particularly intense retreat or a collection of meditation practice sessions, or were you just sporadically practicing? In other words, did it appear as a result of a period of intensified practice? If not, then it might be due to some physical cause (herniated disk, gall stone, etc).

But if so, then you probably have kundalini/A&P/excess lung. My suggestion for handling it is stop meditating immediately, spend time outside, go to the gym, bicycle and do other strenuous physical activities, spend time with friends, watch lots of Netfix, and eat heavy, preferably non-vegetarian meals. Generally caffine tends to aggravate the symptoms in some people so best to avoid highly caffinated beverages. With respect to work, I'd suggest taking a lower profile if that's possible until the symptoms settle down. Most especially, I would recommend not focusing on it as anything special or different, and don't try to cultivate it. If you do that, it will continue and may even get more powerful. It's basically just one stage on the path, and it doesn't make you any different or special than other people. Some people end up getting kundalini on the path, while many others don't, and nobody seems to know why (and no, it is not due to some defect in their practice as some teachers maintain). After maybe 6 months to a year when it has settled, you can take up meditation again.

My own experience with it is that I had a massive kundalini/A&P at a vipassana retreat in 1996, to the point that I had to leave the retreat early because I thought I had a physical problem. At the time, I was an ordained Zen priest trainee in the Soto linage, and got absolutely no help in figuring it out as Zen has no reference points for it. My teacher never experienced it, though she did send me to a teacher at Spirit Rock who had a similar experience, but the Spirit Rock teacher also couldn't suggest anything to help. I ended up having to do retreats (as a Zen priest trainee I had to do at least one weekend retreat a month) lying on my back for 3 years until it finally settled down in 1999-2000. What prolonged it for me is that I though I was something special because of it and that kept cultivating it. After an initial period when it was intense all the time, it only flared up during retreats, so I was able to go to work OK.

I've found over the years that the energy experience never goes away entirely, and it becomes especially intense when doing concentration meditation, which it tends to block. The best way I've found to handle it if I want to go deeper into concentration is, like the suttas say, reflect on the disadvantages of energy (what is call piti in Pali) thereby cultivating equinimity toward it and then it settles down. But sometimes I just let it move and don't do anything, kind of enjoying the feeling of being alive.

Hope that helps.

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
3/16/19 9:07 PM as a reply to svmonk.
Hi svmonk,


Firstly, thank you for your response. 

The event was a culmination of intense practice, especially in the last 2 years but I think it was also the product of intense life events including major interpersonal relationship shifts and change of employment circumstances. The first 'kundalini' event occurred 1.5 years ago followed by a stretch of Dark Night of the Soul, this event felt similar however to a lesser degree (minus hysterical shaking, crying and mental confusion). After some fact-finding, I thought it was the process of crossing A&P however it felt too intense to simply be boxed in as such. There is a lack of cohesion between Vipassana states and Yogic states, why is this the case? 

Thank you for the advice, will definitely be taking them on board.

Is there anything I can do with this energy? Is it associated with a power? I noticed more subtle intuitive thoughts arising through the screen of the mind. However, they have not been indicative of forecasting or fortune telling as there are definitely false-positives and false-negatives along with some positive predictions- perhaps they are simply the fruits of an active imagination running through potential outcomes? There has been an increase in the occurrence of seemingly serendipitous events although more resoundingly synchronistic in nature. As well as increased, potentially, empathic connection with people or general heightening of emotional sensitivities. Are you able to confirm these sort of events from your personal experience?

Yes, I have also come to the conclusion it is the energy of life coursing through my body and it is something to get used to. But the intensity of said sensations without provocation is at times so incredibly strong, so much so it brings great anxiety and anguish for my physical, psychological and emotional wellbeing. 

Many thanks,

Q

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
3/16/19 9:22 AM as a reply to svmonk.
If you have serious problems and can afford it I wouldn't hesitate to contact this lady. I used to be on an intense shaktipat path with a which I realized afterwards power hungry teacher. She helped several of the students who was close to this teacher. Both to remove dark energy and to balance their kundalini after they had left.

Haven't worked personally with her but attended a free online seminar where she called in her spiritual helpers. It was very strong and I don't doubt her abilities. This is what she does full time.

https://www.myree.com.au/kundalini/

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
3/17/19 12:42 AM as a reply to Jyet.
I wasn't a student of a power hungry teachers but after some realisation I was in a romantic relationship with a power-hungry person and they indeed had some strong dark energies emanating from them. 

Have contacted Myree since- thank you for the suggestion. 

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
3/17/19 8:43 PM as a reply to Q C.
Hi QC,

The A&P can manifest in a lot of ways, see Daniel's video for some examples.
There is a lack of cohesion between Vipassana states and Yogic states, why is this the case?
Well, the traditional texts were written by different people in different philosophical and religious traditions many centuries ago. The traditions had a vested interest in ensuring their terminology was sufficiently different from competitors for attracting practitioners (we see this nowadays with open source software, for example). Unfortunately, while interest in meditation is on the upswing in the scientific community today, this particular topic hasn't generated enough interest to get someone undergoing a kundalini/energy experience under an FMRI machine to see what is going on in their brain, resulting in a research paper that might thereby catalyze some commonality in the terminiology. Such tests cost lots of money and NIH has no reason to fund such studies. At least, that's what I've been told by one prominent scientist researching meditation.
Is there anything I can do with this energy? Is it associated with a power?
I would caution against trying to "use" it for anything. I fell into that trap, and it lasted longer than it otherwise would have (also because I could not completely stop meditating due to my being a Zen tokudo (priest) trainee). I could find nothing that I could reliably do with it.
Are you able to confirm these sort of events from your personal experience?
Some of what you say sounds familiar, but the memory that most stands out in my mind is standing in the lunch line at a Zen retreat and my back arcing as a blue flash like lightening passes up my spine and explodes in my head. That is a kind of experience I would rather do without on a regular basis. emoticon

I wasn't a student of a power hungry teachers but after some realisation I was in a romantic relationship with a power-hungry person and they indeed had some strong dark energies emanating from them.
This may also play a role. At the peak of my kundalini experience, I was a bit hypersexual, and throughout, releasing energy through sex (rather than through exploding lightening bolts in my head) was another way the energy flowed. Fortunately, I have a life partner who is very understanding and was able to accommodate me. If you are having trouble with relationships, it may be difficult to find a new partner while going through a kundalini experience because you might come across as kind of manic. However, if you can find someone who has had the same experience or is practicing in the same linage as you, and you otherwise have a good relationship, perhaps you can take it to the next level if you are open about what you are going through.

Good luck!

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/18/19 10:28 PM as a reply to svmonk.
. The traditions had a vested interest in ensuring their terminology was sufficiently different from competitors for attracting practitioners (we see this nowadays with open source software, for example). 

However, failing to provide sufficient guidance to practitioners experiencing wild physiological symptomatology without prescribing or exploring options such as adjusting diet etc. addressing said states is negligent. I do remember one of Goenka's discourse briefly mentioning a practitioner "laughing and shaking hysterically whilst in a meditation cell" and brushing it off very nonchalantly. Further, if said states occurred outside of retreat whereby witnesses could interpret said events through their belief system further compounding states of fear, confusion and anxiety... Another layer...

 meditation is on the upswing in the scientific community today, this particular topic hasn't generated enough interest to get someone undergoing a kundalini/energy experience under an FMRI machine

An fMRI study would be overshooting a pilot study into the A&P/Kundalini state where surface EEG electrodes could suffice, with added modalities of EMG and ECG. 
Perhaps with increasing cases of adverse effects presented due to lack of general knowledge, there will be enough vested interest and thus funding. 

The symptoms have significantly subsided. Thank you for the dietary suggestions, they've been taken on board. I've also added vitamin supplementation of with 5-HTP, lithium orotate, vitamin c, grapeseed extract as well as magnesium and zinc before bed. Epsom salt floats have also helped with the nerves. 
The recurring negative thoughts through mental scape hasn't been helping and the general feeling of bad energy lingering like a bad stink has been a drag. Not the mention the lack of concentration and general blankness of the mind with an inability to retain new information is more than slightly concerning... It's like I've been hit by a bus and I'm relearning how to human and how to cognitive function- brutal! 

Whilst still figuring out my own path and what lineage I want to practice- IF I want to remain a practice at all would. A previous conversation with Daniel suggested I should refrain from practising as you did. To contradict myself, however, a brief 20 minute sitting today after 2-week break felt refreshing and easy. How do I gauge when it's 'okay' to practice again? How do I know if I should change lineage? I've been practising Vipassana via Goenka for the last 2.5 years although I have been attending kirtans because I enjoy and feel the musicality deeply, as well as the warmth of the community. I am also presented with an opportunity to practice under an excellent and well-regarded teacher, Sayadaw U Pandita Jr of the Mahasi tradition. 

Personal stories on how to find a life partner are highly regarded and welcome! 

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/4/19 10:26 AM as a reply to Q C.
I've been there and can relate. This isn't uncommon, IMO, and will eventually fade, at which time piti/kundalini will settle down to a more manageable level. If you are doing concentration heavy practice, use it to explore why this state is also dhukka (Not satisfying). That will help tone it down.

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/4/19 10:44 AM as a reply to Milo.
Just to clarify, I'm suggesting you look at the dhukka nature of this experience in the abstract, not in a 'woe is me' sense. i.e. why being in a constant state of amped up physical 'bliss' has its flaws. This will help the mind stop obsessing and is an opportunity to advance on the path. Best of luck : )

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/5/19 12:05 AM as a reply to Milo.
Milo:
I've been there and can relate. This isn't uncommon, IMO, and will eventually fade, at which time piti/kundalini will settle down to a more manageable level. If you are doing concentration heavy practice, use it to explore why this state is also dhukka (Not satisfying). That will help tone it down.



+1 to this. I have been there too, and it settled down. For me it happened outside any meditation practice. I thought it was panic attacks or exploding head syndrome or both. First I feared that something was actually exploding in my head, but I found many subjective reports on the internet from people with exploding head syndrome, and they seemed to be okay, so I stopped worrying about that. I think normalizing it was helpful, because resisting it and fearing it only made it worse. Just letting it pass and not worrying too much about it, as impossible as it may sound, did the trick for me. Today piti is my friend. It is much less intense, and I can use it to remove blockages. I think of it as an embodied coping mechanism that, just like any other coping mechanism, needs to be balanced.

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/5/19 4:42 PM as a reply to svmonk.
svmonk:
Hi QC,

First question is, did this energy appear as the result of a particularly intense retreat or a collection of meditation practice sessions, or were you just sporadically practicing? In other words, did it appear as a result of a period of intensified practice? If not, then it might be due to some physical cause (herniated disk, gall stone, etc).

But if so, then you probably have kundalini/A&P/excess lung. My suggestion for handling it is stop meditating immediately, spend time outside, go to the gym, bicycle and do other strenuous physical activities, spend time with friends, watch lots of Netfix, and eat heavy, preferably non-vegetarian meals. Generally caffine tends to aggravate the symptoms in some people so best to avoid highly caffinated beverages. With respect to work, I'd suggest taking a lower profile if that's possible until the symptoms settle down. Most especially, I would recommend not focusing on it as anything special or different, and don't try to cultivate it. If you do that, it will continue and may even get more powerful. It's basically just one stage on the path, and it doesn't make you any different or special than other people. Some people end up getting kundalini on the path, while many others don't, and nobody seems to know why (and no, it is not due to some defect in their practice as some teachers maintain). After maybe 6 months to a year when it has settled, you can take up meditation again.

My own experience with it is that I had a massive kundalini/A&P at a vipassana retreat in 1996, to the point that I had to leave the retreat early because I thought I had a physical problem. At the time, I was an ordained Zen priest trainee in the Soto linage, and got absolutely no help in figuring it out as Zen has no reference points for it. My teacher never experienced it, though she did send me to a teacher at Spirit Rock who had a similar experience, but the Spirit Rock teacher also couldn't suggest anything to help. I ended up having to do retreats (as a Zen priest trainee I had to do at least one weekend retreat a month) lying on my back for 3 years until it finally settled down in 1999-2000. What prolonged it for me is that I though I was something special because of it and that kept cultivating it. After an initial period when it was intense all the time, it only flared up during retreats, so I was able to go to work OK.

I've found over the years that the energy experience never goes away entirely, and it becomes especially intense when doing concentration meditation, which it tends to block. The best way I've found to handle it if I want to go deeper into concentration is, like the suttas say, reflect on the disadvantages of energy (what is call piti in Pali) thereby cultivating equinimity toward it and then it settles down. But sometimes I just let it move and don't do anything, kind of enjoying the feeling of being alive.

Hope that helps.


aloha svm & qc,

   I was pleased to hear you say zen has no reference points for this - I thought I was going crazy or missed something major somewhere.

   My advice to the potential preceptee would be to avoid meat, heavy meals, television, excessive exercise, and other distractions. Double down on emptiness and non-existence. What do you have lose? You could end up a meat-eating, tv-watching, physically over-developed specimen of hyper-reality, escaping from reality as fast as your hyper-material body can carry you. Another simulacrum of a human being.

   Hey, I don't mean to be contrary, brothers. But I seriously don't agree. Perhaps these really are the new precepts, and this is some kind of new buddhism. Gorge on flesh and binge on mindless, hyper-repetitive fantasy. Avoid anything that might keep you awake and aware of how bad things really are, so you can really deal with them, one on one, effectively. Numb the hurt, calm the nerves, go back to sleep, and dream. Strawberry fields; counting sheep. Next people will be advised to drink beer and have sex. ("It used to be wine, women and song; now it's beer, the old lady and tv.") Antidotes for too much meditation. Perhaps if I went on retreats and meditated 80 hours a week I might need an antidote. I guess. If "eat when hungry, sleep when tired" applies to meditation, then it seems to me that emptying the mind in meditation is itself the sovereign remedy for the over-stimulated mind, and further stimulation the precisely wrong remedy. The best medicine is to take no medicine. As dogen says,meditation - meaning just sitting - is "the universal practice of all the buddhas and the ancestors."

   Perhaps the practices being prescribed are not what I call meditation at all (having no reference to traditional buddhism), and are truly dangerous. Then maybe people should stop those practices altogether and permanently and start just sitting. That might do.

   Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. There was a man once who made his living selling tools to miners at the nearby gold fields. He sold gold pans, picks and shovels, that sort of thing. He was making more than the miners but after awhile, the gold was drying up and his business was falling off, and he had made investments. So he decided to spread the rumor that there was gold in hell, not far away. Pretty soon people were passing by in droves, headed for hell and the promised gold, and buying gold pans, picks and shovels in large quantities. (It was a well-trodden path, easy-going, and all downhill.) As time went on and the people continued to  stream past, the man started to wonder. After all, there were so many goihg; perhaps there was gold in hell after all. Eventually he became convinced that there must be something to it. He packed up a mule with all his the best tools for gold mining, shut the store and headed off to hell.

terry



from rilke, sonnets to orpheus


XIII.

Master, do you hear the New
quiver and rumble?
Harbingers step forth who
blare their approval.
Surely no ear is whole
amid this noise,
yet the machine-part still
asks for our praise.
Look, the machine:
rears up and takes revenge,
brings us to crawl and cringe.
Since all its strength is from us,
let it, desireless,
serve and remain.

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/5/19 4:52 PM as a reply to Q C.
Q C:
Hi svmonk,


Firstly, thank you for your response. 

The event was a culmination of intense practice, especially in the last 2 years but I think it was also the product of intense life events including major interpersonal relationship shifts and change of employment circumstances. The first 'kundalini' event occurred 1.5 years ago followed by a stretch of Dark Night of the Soul, this event felt similar however to a lesser degree (minus hysterical shaking, crying and mental confusion). After some fact-finding, I thought it was the process of crossing A&P however it felt too intense to simply be boxed in as such. There is a lack of cohesion between Vipassana states and Yogic states, why is this the case? 

Thank you for the advice, will definitely be taking them on board.

Is there anything I can do with this energy? Is it associated with a power? I noticed more subtle intuitive thoughts arising through the screen of the mind. However, they have not been indicative of forecasting or fortune telling as there are definitely false-positives and false-negatives along with some positive predictions- perhaps they are simply the fruits of an active imagination running through potential outcomes? There has been an increase in the occurrence of seemingly serendipitous events although more resoundingly synchronistic in nature. As well as increased, potentially, empathic connection with people or general heightening of emotional sensitivities. Are you able to confirm these sort of events from your personal experience?

Yes, I have also come to the conclusion it is the energy of life coursing through my body and it is something to get used to. But the intensity of said sensations without provocation is at times so incredibly strong, so much so it brings great anxiety and anguish for my physical, psychological and emotional wellbeing. 

Many thanks,

Q



aloha qc,

   It's all routine, bra. Stay with it. Anxiety and anguish are actually appropriate responses. Let them pass.

terry


Tell all the Truth, but tell it slant
(emily dickinson)

Tell all the Truth but tell it slant --
Success in Circuit lies
Too bright for our infirm Delight
The Truth's superb surprise

As Lightning to the Children eased
With explanation kind
The Truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind --

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/19/19 6:59 AM as a reply to terry.
 What do you have lose?

Sanity perhaps? I think there is value in having a measure of personal responsibility by practising safely and following the middle path, isn't that the point? If said activity brings one down to Earth and grounds one to their surroundings, then there is without a doubt validity in the suggestions. I think there is enough insanity in the world without falling overboard and adding to it. 

Perhaps these really are the new precepts, and this is some kind of new buddhism. Gorge on flesh and binge on mindless, hyper-repetitive fantasy. Avoid anything that might keep you awake and aware of how bad things really are, so you can really deal with them, one on one, effectively. Numb the hurt, calm the nerves, go back to sleep, and dream. Strawberry fields; counting sheep. Next people will be advised to drink beer and have sex...Antidotes for too much meditation.

No one ever suggested anything of excess consumption or over-indulgence. Who's to say it will take away from facing the real problem arising? I must admit I have been overindulging and wallowing in it all a bit more than acceptable.
I think the analogy of having a sprained ankle during a marathon was used to illustrate the point being made. I have to acknowledge my current limitations, I must stop putting pressure on the ankle and take a break. Maybe because this is metaphysical I've been blind to the answer in front of my very own eyes. Just because I can't touch it or see it, doesn't mean it's not an injury. And how do we treat injuries? We slow down and nourish and nurture ourselves. 
Asceticism is so passe. Get with it old man emoticon 

I do appreciate the trickster-esque provocations, the allegory and the poems! Rich and colourful. Thank you!

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/19/19 7:10 AM as a reply to Milo.
Milo:
Just to clarify, I'm suggesting you look at the dhukka nature of this experience in the abstract, not in a 'woe is me' sense. i.e. why being in a constant state of amped up physical 'bliss' has its flaws. This will help the mind stop obsessing and is an opportunity to advance on the path. Best of luck : )
Oh yikes... Whatever kundalini/pitti I was experiencing is passing and arising at a surprising rate. 

Yeah I'm definitely hopped on the infinite loop of 'woe is me'... I need to reiterate: there was no bliss. Not that I could remember. More so fear and anxiety about what the heck is going on. I'm currently on the flip side of high energy and manic which is lethargy and gloop. 

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/19/19 7:14 AM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:
Milo:
I've been there and can relate. This isn't uncommon, IMO, and will eventually fade, at which time piti/kundalini will settle down to a more manageable level. If you are doing concentration heavy practice, use it to explore why this state is also dhukka (Not satisfying). That will help tone it down.



+1 to this. I have been there too, and it settled down. For me it happened outside any meditation practice. I thought it was panic attacks or exploding head syndrome or both. First I feared that something was actually exploding in my head, but I found many subjective reports on the internet from people with exploding head syndrome, and they seemed to be okay, so I stopped worrying about that. I think normalizing it was helpful, because resisting it and fearing it only made it worse. Just letting it pass and not worrying too much about it, as impossible as it may sound, did the trick for me. Today piti is my friend. It is much less intense, and I can use it to remove blockages. I think of it as an embodied coping mechanism that, just like any other coping mechanism, needs to be balanced.

To clarify, is piti the buzzing or flow of intense energy which feels at times raw? Can it be both interstitial as well as superficial?

Thanks in advance!

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/19/19 9:25 AM as a reply to Q C.
Yes, that’s piti, or Kundalini (same phenomenon, as I understand it, albeit framed somewhat differently). It can also be seen as the flow of impermanence. The force of change that is life. It can be ruthless and is not always blissful. It can feel like an electric shockwave going up through one’s spine and exploding in one’s head. That’s how it used to be for me. Thankfully, that’s completely harmless. There are a lot of people living with ”exploding head syndrome”, and as far as I know, no damage has been reported.

Over time, it’s possible (at least for me it has been) to live in harmony with it. Resisting it makes it more ruthless. Engaging too much with it makes it unbalanced. Try to think of it as something that just passes through you without resistance. It’s not to be contained. Remember that there is no boundary there to block it, no container to contain it. That’s just a delusion. Your body has no barriers. It’s just an open energy field.

If it’s too intense, it might help to go to a garden or out in the nature and stick your feet in the mud, or to walk with bare feet.

I’m not sure what to believe about this really. It could just be heightened awareness of impermanence on a sensate level.

Nowadays it mostly feels like champagne bubbles moving through my body and trickling out of my pores. It has become very pleasant. I even got attached to it. I would not recommend that. It made me think of my body as troubled with stagnated energy inbetween the periods of flow, and that delusion caused pain. As soon as I realized that both flow and stillness are perfectly fine, the pain evaporated.

The mind is powerful. It may manifest what you expect to be there. So be careful about what you believe.

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/19/19 9:37 AM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:
Your body has no barriers. It’s just an open energy field...The mind is powerful. It may manifest what you expect to be there. So be careful about what you believe.
From the language being used, are you now referring to powers and the manifestation of life events, both moral and immoral, dependent on skillfulness of our minds?

To the best of my knowledge, one can not control what passes through the screen of the mind as it is like any other sense- it simply picks up what's there. If this is true, how does my mind manifest expectations? Furthermore, how does my belief system influence manifestations? 

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/19/19 10:23 AM as a reply to Q C.
Q C:
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö:
Your body has no barriers. It’s just an open energy field...The mind is powerful. It may manifest what you expect to be there. So be careful about what you believe.
From the language being used, are you now referring to powers and the manifestation of life events, both moral and immoral, dependent on skillfulness of our minds?


That would depend on what definition you are using.

I’m saying that the mind can be pretty convincing, and somehow beliefs seem to matter. That is my experience. How it works is beyond my knowledge.

To the best of my knowledge, one can not control what passes through the screen of the mind as it is like any other sense- it simply picks up what's there. If this is true, how does my mind manifest expectations? Furthermore, how does my belief system influence manifestations? 


I don’t know. It’s just my experience that it does.

If you are certain that you can’t control anything, then why do you even ask?

Do you know for certain that you can’t make any difference?

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/20/19 1:03 PM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
That would depend on what definition you are using.

Powers in terms of abilities, attainments and realisations usually cultivated through the Jhanas. 

Manifestations in terms of the non-physical and physical materialisation of forms cultivated through the Jhanas. 

beliefs seem to matter
According to MTCB2. CH58 Intro to Powers, Condensed Chaos, as well as studies into placebo and nocebo effect- you are right. Furthermore, not only do they seem to matter, they do in fact matter.

If you are certain that you can’t control anything, then why do you even ask?

Do you know for certain that you can’t make any difference?
As I had already disclosed, the questions were extrapolations based on a supposition of what I think I know to be true in my current level of experiential consciousness i.e. not a concretely held belief. Thus, they were posited in an attempt to explore an idea. 

However, I'm educating myself on the matter as we speak. 

Perhaps my questions were redundant to this thread. Nonetheless, they remain valid questions. 

(Edited for grammatical errors. Sorry for the email notifications.)

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/20/19 1:16 PM as a reply to Q C.
I don’t think it does much of a difference whether one sees it as a power or as the ability to learn psychological coping skills. It could be powers or it could be suggestion/placebo. As long as it works and does no harm, wherein lies the difference? I’m not sure about this myself.

I asked about how certain you were because I have a hunch that you may be limiting yourself with your beliefs, and I thought it might be a good idea to open up some space of unknowing. Does that make sense?

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/20/19 2:59 PM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
As long as it works and does no harm, wherein lies the difference?

Condensed Chaos touched on briefly in terms of obsession to fantasy. Very much in line with my personal apprehension of manifestation through thought forms which can manifest itself as delusional thinking under the umbrella of denial of reality. 

Being open to such ideas raises the concern of suggestibility, whereby being 'open to influence' we can be manipulated by external forces without our best interest at heart.
I asked about how certain you were because I have a hunch that you may be limiting yourself with your beliefs, and I thought it might be a good idea to open up some space of unknowing. Does that make sense?

Your question was posed in two parts: 1) was a provocation which did not ask about my certainty, but rather rebuked my idea through a rhetorical question, 2) was circular since I had already made explicit my level of certainty with the precursor "To the best of my knowledge". Perhaps a gentler tone and an openness to seek clarification would be more effective. (On a side note: neither of which addressed my questions.)
Even if you could be right about my limited belief system, what are the hunches are based on? In what way do you think I do not have room for unknowing? To perhaps to answer my own questions (and yours)- I am very clearly probing and critiquing the unknown, thus not making space for it. As a justification, I think there is always room for healthy skepticism and critique of paradigms. 

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/20/19 3:26 PM as a reply to Q C.
You presented a problem that I have had myself. I no longer have the problem. I was trying to explain how I got rid of the problem. Whether or not you take my advice is solely up to you.

Why you ask for help if you believe that everything is beyond anyone’s control is a valid question that might hold a key to the solution. I’m sorry if my way with words is unskillful. A gentler interpretation, not reading in provocation where none is intended, might also be a more effective approach.

I can’t explain why my method worked for me. I can only tell you that it did. Maybe faith was essential. I don’t know.

I have been limited by my own beliefs in this matter. I no longer am. Best of luck!

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/20/19 3:38 PM as a reply to Q C.
And for the record, I said nothing about being open to external influence. I was thinking more in line of self hypnosis, which is fully consentient.

As for adressing your questions, I have answered to the best of my ability. I can only tell you what I know, and so I have done.

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/20/19 11:29 PM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
There is a lot of defensiveness, a lot of putting words in other people's mouth as well as making leaps in assumptions and misunderstandings in what has been said. Chaos magic indeed.

Anyway, an exellent lesson on how not to screw up my life: practice sila, have better social graces, walk away from such situations and send metta. 

Metta to you!

RE: Unnerving Experiences. How do I not screw up my life?
Answer
4/21/19 4:26 AM as a reply to Q C.
Please show me where I have put words in your mouth, been defensive and used chaos magic. The latter is a serious accusation.

I only wanted to share what has helped me. I propably should have kept quiet, since it was unappreciated.

May you find peace.