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No SE for you!
Answer
7/1/19 11:11 AM
Hi friends emoticon my name is Travis and I was an active member a few years back. I thought I achieved SE but now realized I haven’t. I know for sure I’ve reached A&P, but not SE. 

I guess I have a question; if one passes the A&P but doesn’t achieve SE, they could continue to cycle through the path over and over, right?

Context: after I thought I achieved SE, I stopped meditating and started to experience some mild seasonal depression. I’ve literally never had depression growing up, so this was obviously new. As the years have gone by the seasonal depression has gotten worse and worse. They also seem to be increasing in length. I had an epiphany yesterday that the depression could be due to me entering the dark stages of the path (forgot what they’re called). These phases last for about a month and I’m literally back to my happy-go-lucky self after it ends. 

It it feels good to be back on here. Thanks in advance for any thoughts or replies

RE: No SE for you!
Answer
7/1/19 12:22 PM as a reply to Travis McKinstry.
I have a suggestion based on the fact that you did not mention returning to meditation practice - why not treat the symptoms you have (seasonal affective disorder) as a doctor would treat that particular syndrome and see what happens? If that doesn't work for you after you've given it the ol' college try, then you can think about re-starting your meditation practice assuming what you have are Dark Night symptoms.

Treatments for seasonal affective disorder

RE: No SE for you!
Answer
7/1/19 12:34 PM as a reply to Chris Marti.
Some people have also found that the conventionally recommended amounts of light from commercial light boxes are too low and have found good effects from using much higher levels of light, approaching the intensity of natural sunlight:  https://meaningness.com/metablog/sad-light-lumens .

RE: No SE for you!
Answer
7/1/19 12:56 PM as a reply to Chris Marti.
So I originally thought it was SAD, but I’ve experienced cyclical depression at various times during the year. My most recent phase started in May and is just now coming to an end. 

Ive tried things like anti-depressants, exercise, etc to no avail. I haven’t tried light therapy yet cause it seems rather expensive to get the full amount of light that I would need to make a change. 

RE: No SE for you!
Answer
7/1/19 1:38 PM as a reply to Travis McKinstry.
I don't think anyone here is capable of diagnosing you from what you've posted. The ball would appear to be in your court - get more serious about one or the other: diagnosing your issue or re-starting meditation practice.

RE: No SE for you!
Answer
7/1/19 2:07 PM as a reply to Chris Marti.
That’s what I need, straight forward “here are the cards you’ve been dealt.”

Thanks. 

RE: No SE for you!
Answer
7/3/19 2:56 PM as a reply to Travis McKinstry.
This sounds just like Dark Night to me and I suspect that starting meditating again will help a lot. This happens after A&P if you stop meditating, both before and after SE.

RE: No SE for you!
Answer
7/3/19 8:48 PM as a reply to J C.
I appreciate the feedback. I’m pretty sure that’s what it is

RE: No SE for you!
Answer
7/4/19 6:11 AM as a reply to Travis McKinstry.
On top of the advice given, I think it's also worth doing some psychological/content inquiry to see if it's related to that. Not all forms of depression  respond well to medication. 

You can ask yourself when your depression started and what could have been the trigger.
Season? Is this the anniversary of some sad events that you experienced before around that time?
What was happening in your life around the start of the depression?
What thoughts and images invade your mind when you feel depressed?
What kinds of dreams do you have when depressed?

I'm not asking you to answer these questions here but as suggestions for your own inquiry.

Also, being depressed does not disprove that you achieved SE for all I know, since many stream-entrers have experienced depressive states too. I'm not at SE yet but have seen enough stories how SE does not resolve everything. 

All the best with your practice.

RE: No SE for you!
Answer
7/4/19 7:38 AM as a reply to Ben V..
Yeah I appreciate that. I’ve tried to see if there are any patterns and the only thing that makes a little sense is that the cyclical depression started after I hit A&P and stopped meditating. 

And I didn’t mean to imply I didn’t get SE because I experience depression. There are other reasons I use to justify the fact that I probably didn’t.