Lasse:
I've committed one bad action in my life, I was 7 years old and I pushed my younger brother off an indoor trampoline because it was "my turn" - he hit his head on the edge of a door and had to get stitches for his lip, couldn't eat well for a few days due to pain.
Recently, after moving to my current place, I've been suffering from unexplainable debilitating depression, something to do with the place I live, it wouldn't go away no matter what I did, I begged to move back in with my parents because the depression wasn't there when I lived with them, but no luck. I figured out that maybe it was karma, and I remembered back to the only bad action in my life that I had done, then I figured out that I could go with a My Name Is Earl -attitude and try to amend my wrong deed. For the first time in my life I offered some help for my little brother, and the depression immediately went away and hasn't returned. (Unfortunately) he doesn't need that much help, but I've found I can eliminate some past bad karma just by praying for him.
Following the karma theory I figured that everything I suffer from stems from past wrong acts, so then I applied this thought to tension headaches that I had, and it took me a while but I somehow traced them to my younger brother being in operation to get the stitches (I used some meditation help to perceive something to do with a bunch of metal instruments and figured it might be the operation). So I prayed a bunch of things, imagining what might be a good act to make up for the operation, and my tension headaches vanished.
Anyway, I've been cooking up an (old) theory that all your suffering stems from past wrong acts, karma, and found karma to be pretty much true in my own life beyond this example too.
aloha lasse,
In chinese philosophy, the confucian view holds that the human being is essentially benign, and is motivated by love. The cradle of this love, as it were, is the family.
Confucians speak of "the five relations." The original three primary relations are the mutual love of husband and wife; the mutual love of elder and younger siblings; and the mutual love of parents and children. The two extended relations are the mutual love of the citizen/subject for the political leader/monarch, reflecting love of parents and children; and the mutual love of one's neighbor, reflecting love of siblings.
Your life is a dream, and in this dream your brother symbolizes all of humanity. Depression, in your case, may be due to your soul (as opposed to your self-interested ego) recognizing at some level that having compassion for the "other" relieves your unhappiness.
The sense of separation caused by identifying with the ego is the root of depression in otherwise organically healthy people. The feeling that we are all in this together is a relief.
terry
He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
(The Hollies)
The road is long
With many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where
Who knows where
But I'm strong
Strong enough to carry him
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
So on we go
His welfare is of my concern
No burden is he to bear
We'll get there
For I know
He would not encumber me
He ain't heavy, he's my brother
If I'm laden at all
I'm laden with sadness
That everyone's heart
Isn't filled with the gladness
Of love for one another
It's a long, long road
From which there is no return
While we're on the way to there
Why not share
And the load
Doesn't weigh me down at all
He ain't heavy he's my brother
He's my brother
He ain't heavy, he's my brother, he ain't heavy
Songwriters: Bob Russell / Bobby Scott