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What I've been waiting for
1st jhana goenka 2nd jhana ajahn chah
Answer
12/12/19 1:07 PM
Several years ago I posted about my Goenka retreat overnight buzz because I was curious what had happened to me. Neko had been kind enough to respond to my original post, much thanks to them, wherever they are. I recently re-found my post after coming to terms with the fact that I had been low-level chasing that same feeling for years now. Not knowing exactly why, I posted again earlier this week.

Wouldn’t you know it, two nights ago I had a very similar experience as the one I've described above. The difference was that this time it started when I was sitting, then I walked around a bit, and then laid in bed, watching only the breath, for approximately three hours. I even got up to go the bathroom twice, and still kept it going back in bed until I felt I really had to go to sleep.

It was definitely more work to “stay in the zone”, and it wasn’t as intense as the last time when the top of my head was on fire, but it was wonderful, and gave me the opportunity to feel my mindfulness, concentration, and wisdom, each take center stage at different times. Once I asked, “what is experiencing all of this?”, and that absolutely ramped up this course and energetic feeling. I could see that feelings are different objects than the mind, and that the watcher of it all was consciousness. 

I’m feeling beyond grateful that I got a refresher course in going deeper, and having more tools to work with, I was able to play around a bit with focus, concentration, and breathwork.

In the end, I ended up where I was several years ago, unsure of what to do next. 

It was like juggling three balls for the first time after not doing it in several in years, and then immediately trying to figure out how to add a fourth ball, which seems impossible at the time if you don’t know what you are doing, because it's a different technique.

I’ve read a lot about the course-ness of the energy leaving, and more joy coming into the experience, but I just didn’t know what to do so I went to sleep. I’d love to learn techniques to go deeper, but I also recognize that getting back to this same place repeatedly would probably be best for now.

I think this experience was important because I was a bit hung up on the comparisons, and grasping for that same experience and not getting it for several years. Have all of the amazing meditative experiences, and the next day continue to chop wood and carry water (don't think about it too much, go on with life, do laundry :-)

Many thanks to Ajahn Chah’s teachings, which I have been reading all week as part of a class, and which absolutely leapt off the page and put me back into this deeper meditative space the night this happened. As an aside, the same thing happened with Goenka during my course. He said in the video, "Now move your attention from your nostrils to your crown chakra (top of head)," and I went right into the experience I mentioned in the link.

These teachers can get to us any way they want. Dead, on old VHS videos, podcasts, alive in person, it really doesn't matter. If you're ready, the teachings will come.

Much love to everyone, and thank you.

- Dave

RE: What I've been waiting for
Answer
12/12/19 1:39 PM as a reply to Dave Evans.
Dave Evans:
Several years ago I posted about my Goenka retreat overnight buzz because I was curious what had happened to me. Neko had been kind enough to respond to my original post, much thanks to them, wherever they are. I recently re-found my post after coming to terms with the fact that I had been low-level chasing that same feeling for years now. Not knowing exactly why, I posted again earlier this week.

Wouldn’t you know it, two nights ago I had a very similar experience as the one I've described above. The difference was that this time it started when I was sitting, then I walked around a bit, and then laid in bed, watching only the breath, for approximately three hours. I even got up to go the bathroom twice, and still kept it going back in bed until I felt I really had to go to sleep.

It was definitely more work to “stay in the zone”, and it wasn’t as intense as the last time when the top of my head was on fire, but it was wonderful, and gave me the opportunity to feel my mindfulness, concentration, and wisdom, each take center stage at different times. Once I asked, “what is experiencing all of this?”, and that absolutely ramped up this course and energetic feeling. I could see that feelings are different objects than the mind, and that the watcher of it all was consciousness. 

I’m feeling beyond grateful that I got a refresher course in going deeper, and having more tools to work with, I was able to play around a bit with focus, concentration, and breathwork.

In the end, I ended up where I was several years ago, unsure of what to do next. 

It was like juggling three balls for the first time after not doing it in several in years, and then immediately trying to figure out how to add a fourth ball, which seems impossible at the time if you don’t know what you are doing, because it's a different technique.

I’ve read a lot about the course-ness of the energy leaving, and more joy coming into the experience, but I just didn’t know what to do so I went to sleep. I’d love to learn techniques to go deeper, but I also recognize that getting back to this same place repeatedly would probably be best for now.

I think this experience was important because I was a bit hung up on the comparisons, and grasping for that same experience and not getting it for several years. Have all of the amazing meditative experiences, and the next day continue to chop wood and carry water (don't think about it too much, go on with life, do laundry :-)

Many thanks to Ajahn Chah’s teachings, which I have been reading all week as part of a class, and which absolutely leapt off the page and put me back into this deeper meditative space the night this happened. As an aside, the same thing happened with Goenka during my course. He said in the video, "Now move your attention from your nostrils to your crown chakra (top of head)," and I went right into the experience I mentioned in the link.

These teachers can get to us any way they want. Dead, on old VHS videos, podcasts, alive in person, it really doesn't matter. If you're ready, the teachings will come.

Much love to everyone, and thank you.

- Dave


what goes up must come down
which doesn't mean you shouldn't pursue it


once upon a time, j l austin attended a lecture at columbia university and said to sidney morgenbresser, "although a double negative in English implies a positive meaning, there is no language in which a double positive implies a negative," to which morgenbresser replied, "yeah, right"

(smile)
t