The view from which states don't matter

Jazz Muzak, modified 3 Years ago at 2/7/20 6:33 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/7/20 6:33 PM

The view from which states don't matter

Posts: 36 Join Date: 9/27/19 Recent Posts
Hi all,

This is less of a "claim" and more a description of how the practice is right now. I feel like I'm at a place where I don't really care what state I'm in. I don't know that I have access to the more interesting and heavy states, I've been through some Insight cycles, I have a little experience with seeing through duality and realizing it's all the same, although it's not an all the time thing. 

I feel that my understanding of the three characteristics is strong, which is what leads to this view where the states are unimportant. Sure, it's nice when everything feels blissful and smooth and the mind is strong, but there's also a niceness to times where things aren't feeling good, where there's fear and awfulness and meditation is hard. Even complete boredom has an "ahh, this is nice, boredom is nice" feeling to it.

Sometimes I catch myself floating off and thoughts arise telling me that things suck and something should change, but then I remember that this moment is it and it's fine and everything is fine and things calm back down. Sometimes I think "wow, things were so much better back home, I should move back" (I recently moved across the country), but then I remember that this is fine, if I was skillful enough to make it through the last moment, I am probably skillful enough for this one as well. Ahh. What a good feeling.

I don't really have much of a practice right now, I watch the breath for a moment whenever I remember to, which usually helps things snap back into place if I'm not right here right now, but I'm not doing much sitting at the moment.

Anyway, I'm quite content with where I'm at right now, but it's always fun to have it poked and prodded by the more knowledgable and awake members of the community, so here I am. I was talking to someone on reddit and they suggested I should post here and see what's what, at least in hardcore pragmatic dharma terms.
Laurel Carrington, modified 3 Years ago at 2/8/20 12:15 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 2/8/20 12:15 PM

RE: The view from which states don't matter

Posts: 440 Join Date: 4/7/14 Recent Posts
Yeah, I've been where you are (and sometimes I think I still am), but it can be a trap, so keep a watchful eye on yourself. Because you're so mellow you have no motivation, and of course you're grateful not to be suffering the way you were before you started your practice so it's all good. Feels like equanimity as a permanent way of life. But sooner or later you begin to wonder whether this is all there is (which, okay, is all there is because this is it), only maybe you're not done? Or maybe there's a rationale for practicing even without the grinding sense of dissatisfaction that drove you to it in the first place. 

I was unable to make myself resume practicing until I was ready, so I'm not going to recommend you force yourself. What I will recommend is keeping an eye on yourself. Even delicious awareness of nonduality can function as a bypass. When something breaks through the surface of the placid water that is your mind, examine it. Don't freak out, just look, and listen.