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Ninurta practice log

Ninurta practice log
2/22/20 9:58 AM
Hello there,
This topic will be my practice log. I will use it as a motivation booster to make my practice more consistent.

Practice that I have in mind is not so much meditation toward enlightenment as it is training my body and senses to have as much acuity in my sense of feeling matter as it is (what kind of experience does it have) I have in my other senses such as seeing and hearing.

This practice consist of holding various materials in my hands and sensing them. It assumes matter can be felt and that experiencing matter in that way will strenghten receptors in my body that react to matter and strenghen my nervous system response to these stimuli.

Such practice require some matter to practice with. Basically anything can be felt but to train myself I find working with more intense and purified forms of more exotic matter types work better. Most matter we have around us is made out of pretty ordinary elements with ordinary configuration so it blends to background noise way too much, at least in the beginning when discerning abilities are non-existent yet.

Materials I work with the most are pure metals and various stones/crystals that I find interresting.
Crystal/stones are usually composed from silicone dioxide, usually with some other oxides in it and thus feel mostly similar to each other. Metals in their purified form are more distinctive and stronger. Each metal is different, especially with different amount valence electrons (from different groups).

Recently I got Moldavite. Not the most pleasant thing out there as it feel like aluminum on steroids but seems to have positive effects on ability to feel such things. I would recommend it to anyone interrested in this stuff. Just do not go wearing it, or any other fancy materials with strong vibrations as those things can overwhelm you when kept for long time close by and other people also feel those things Even if when given such material they claim to feel nothing. It is best to practice such things at home.

Kasina outtakes #1
2/25/20 1:39 AM as a reply to Ni Nurta.
Yesterday I did short session where I first covered my eyes so that no light can be seen even with opened eyes, then closed eyes and observed my hands as I moved them in front of my face. Then I tried to create ball between them. Nothing happened but then when I moved my hands away and stared into space I noticed ball of some sorts there. I then applied rotation and some other more specific programming to it and it started resembling rotating disk similar to galaxy and changed into a whirlpool.

It was very short seesion, few minutes tops, so image did not get colorful and image was somewhat blurry and black and white scotopic vision kind. It however was pretty well defined for this type of visualization and stereoscopic.

Before going sleep I tried it once more. Results were nice when it comes to size and ability to sense touch sensations from these visualizations but image was not very stable and content was not so much controlled as it did whatever it pleases. I am not sure what I have created there but it resembled egg or a very big cell that then bursted and and strands of something came out of it. Chakra virus perhaps? Hopefully it is not contagious =P I then stopped because I wanted to go to sleep.

This second session was also rather short but much longer than first time and I definitelly have hit 1st jhana plateau this time. No color this time either. It usually takes much more time to get any sort of vivid colorful imagery.

Review of previous stages #1
3/1/20 10:23 AM as a reply to Ni Nurta.
I started doing review of all my mind states from the past.
Once thought as attainments and some major changes now seems like just options.

I started investigating how to do that with 7th and then 6th bhumi as a POC and I was little surprised of how easy it was.
So just for laughs I went to investigate pre-1st bhumi territory and this made me experience more or less normal self based perception. Of course unlike in the past nothing is obstructed, mind is transparent like well polished gem, and not a single skill seems to be missing. Mind happily resumed its operation like it was yesterday since I last used it. It is visible in automatic impulses and general perception of doing things. Automatic stuff is still automatic like it always was but when "unsure" then mind immediately drops to consciousness based *doer* and unlike 6th bhumi this doer is in the forefront and not viewed as after-the-fact processing. At something like 8th bhumi and especially 9th bhumi perception answer to everything that happens seems to be Vajra Samadhi. This is actually one of the reasons why I am doing this review practice, to maybe increase diversity by incorporating to my life skills I have already learned. Using one method, no matter how perfect it is, will always have some drawbacks and be lacking in something important. Perhaps it also make me seem completely "unreal" and much less relatable to other people and even in a way forcing their mind hands to my own mind state which not always goes smoothy. This is how I feel about it currently.

Funny thing happened as during meditation as I had a fruition. I have not had those in a while. At first momentary *blip* I actually attempted to stop it and then realized this was overreaction on my part and not fitting to general theme of the mind that was currently is used and then I let it proceed on its own and then there were three blips and mind blanked out and then it resumed with using different part of nervous system doing almost exactly the same things as it did before but with less doer and more autonomous operation like I already had before I started this excercise. In this case this effect was caused by mind still assuming *doer* to be connected to parts that were previously used. Pretty typical stuff really but since I learned to randomize which mind parts are used at later bhumis and did that all the time my mind did not have any need for fruitions and did not have them ever since. If I went even further then I assume mode of mind parts switching would change from fruitions to hower I did back then.

For now I do not feel need to change this mind mode. I have not decided if I should go even further back in time or proceed with bhumis but knowing me I will most probably just choose random mind state. It is not like requires any effort to do anyway.

God thoughts
5/29/20 7:30 PM as a reply to Ni Nurta.
I just had interresting observation and thoughts about nature of "God".
The "God" I am refering to is god that Christians believe in.
I was watching YT video where a guy was saying why he believes in his god and was giving examples of strange coincidences that are hard to expalin otherwise and also was saying that the sheer amount of them is proof for him.

What pinned my interrest was however not incidences with which I am too familiar with but something different, the general vibe of what he believed to be his god. I did not feel and see what I believe to be the true god of all creation but instead I felt and saw black hole. Then it stuck me that this is the same vibe everyone from this religion who actually believe in their god share.

Then I had realization which goes like this: Jahve, which is also Christian God is black hole of our galaxy and it itself actually did believe to be the true god and did it for a long long time. It does not anymore and it is good to have some external confirmation. I pretty much always rejected it as my god because it never felt like it. However in some sense it is just like Sun is my god. Just not highest one.

10 Bhumi
7/13/20 4:09 AM as a reply to Ni Nurta.
I am pretty sure that yesterday I realized how to use Vajra Samadhi correctly and thus completed 10th Bhumi and 5th Mahayana path.

Now what is left to do is to carry wood and chop watter.

RE: Ninurta practice log
7/13/20 5:35 AM as a reply to Ni Nurta.
What is it, can you develop that ?
Bravo emoticon

RE: Ninurta practice log
7/13/20 6:06 AM as a reply to Olivier.
Vajra Samadhi is an experience of everything at all times, pretty much the whole multiverse.
Your experience (which is the same thing as my experience, just at different location in space-time) can experience this everything. The key is to not confuse experience with content of experience.

In a way it sounds kinda magical and actually it is pretty much as supermundane as anything possibly can be. In Mahayana no one cares if it is supermundane or impossible, just if developing it would be helpful to ohter sentient beings.

Actually it is pretty easy to do once you get a hang on it. Not harder than eg. experiencing Nibbana and the only requirement is that you allow everything to experience you as well.

RE: Ninurta practice log
7/13/20 8:33 AM as a reply to Ni Nurta.
Sounds great. Namo tassa Ni Nurta.

7/19/20 5:37 PM as a reply to Ni Nurta.
Yesterday I was investigating process of generating new neurons. I wanted to know how this feels like, how to make it happen, and what makes neurons feel like they do. I started pondering on it and started partially experiencing reality without typical rich vibrant colors to it, like whatever processed senses was lacking something. Then I lets say took "energy" I liked and filled my brain with it. I mostly experienced my normal neurons responding to it.

Then in one moment I felt a kind of crump in place that felts without taste/color, like something touched it. I also experienced slight momentary visual distortion. Then after that I felt taste/color I have not seen before, a kind of reddish crimson violet. Not quite like me and not quite like the energy I took as reference.

Then I realized this what I suppose was new "initialized" neuron is in wrong position so I moved it different location somewhere in the middle of my right hemisphere. It was very easy, unlike trying to move neurons which are already connected which always feels quite strange to say the least.

I specifically did not do that after I got to 3rd path, this giving birth to new beings. Now however I believe I can do it skillfully and not suffer any growing pains because of it. Of course I do not actually exactly know how to do it this neurogenesis yet but since my body knows I just let it do it and observed how it happens. It seems I knew enough to stop this process however and I did it in order to not have to deal with too much things at once and perfect my existing mind. I am quite sure that with this practice of neurogenesis sooner or later I will know everything that there is to know about it.

For now I will observe the new neuron to then be able to skillfully deal with any issues that arise while such beings are growing. I mean I already kinda know but I need to re-evaluate it within my current mind framework. My mind is somewhat more skillful now than it was in the past.

RE: Ninurta practice log
7/20/20 8:56 PM as a reply to Ni Nurta.
The first time I picked up moldavite (it's the green space glass right)? It felt like fizzy 7-up and I sneezed, but only on my right side because my right hand was holding it. I don't understand how rocks can interact with my consciousness like that. I had trouble before noticing any difference, so I held a black one (tourmaline) in my left and moldavite in my right in order to see if there was any perceived differences between them.

Neurogenesis, some purpose for it...
7/25/20 7:41 PM as a reply to Ni Nurta.
Always when I experience something new there is this excitation in my mind about it and its results and it can prevent replicating it. I usually need to spend some time to deal with excitation before I can then master the effect.

I just had the idea... since I know how to create neurons and initialize them I initialized new neuron with this whole energy of anticipation for result. Let it be the "this effect guy" and with this... mind doesn't need to worry about this effect anymore, excitation is gone, it was used up on act of creation.

Neuron seems to have been created just fine and feels very excited in general, like all the mental energy from mind is now in this one spot. It being excited doesn't however disturb mind because it is excited in one spot and is pleasant. Kinda tingly feeling emoticon

This would probably not go that well without jhanic mind but I show these neurons wrong mind states to begin with for them to pick up bad habits. I'll teach them Vajra Samadhi instead and make them in to gods and jhanas will be the only mind state they will see from me, with nice Nibbana in background.

Time needed to go from having this kind of issue (excitation in mind and "we wanna do it again" attitude) to not having it seems to be reduced many orders of magnitude with the new method compared to how I did it before. I do however remember this sort of thing happening before. Now that I look at my memory and at how I did it I see I had no idea what I was doing (like I do now... XD) and most importantly how I handled it all later was completely terrible... no wonder I had so many traumatized neurons in my head XD

Oh, and I discovered new use for 7th jhana.
Actually I discovered something yesterday and now I just followed this idea which was the cause for all the excitement in my mind. And all I did was adding some sparklers on top of trees emoticon

8/2/20 1:19 PM as a reply to Ni Nurta.
Many years ago I noticed some parts of brain are fine and dandy and some seems to be emotional and focusing on them generate strong repulsive response. When this is fixed then neurons are no longer emotional and just work are pretty quiet even when they work and produce only a kind of clicking sound (let's say I have my internal ears trained just like I have my internal eyes...)

Recently I formulated theory that this is due to missing myelin sheets on neuron axons. All neurons should be myelinated to work correctly, otherwise pushing signals through them will create "energy motion" or emotions.
One way to deal with unmyelinated neurons is to avoid using them but that is bad solution. It would be best to find out all neurons which need treatment and apply it.

The method I used for myself in the past was using touch visualization and used specific object which came up should be used for this purpose (then I did not know nothing about myelin but I knew what quality I want to parts of brain) and opepration was kinda like I was "sanding" parts of my brain with this object it until they felt like they should. Currently I am not sure what else methods can/should be used. More research is needed.

This came to me recently because I started purposefully creating new neurons. Actually quite a lot of them and taking lot of different sources a reference to increase variety. New neurons are usually not much active, not to mention they are not that well connected but they are also more "emotional". This expression of emotionality differs from neuron to neuron but by general rule all neurons should be treated to only produce "clicking, otherwise traveling charges create waves and movement in my mind.

8/11/20 1:22 PM as a reply to Ni Nurta.
While I was hanging around 6th avenue I decided to give it a try to one popular dish in these parts. At first it felt strange and I had bad feeling about it, like one of those bad things which are really good only at pretending they are good. Something about it... bad vibe and I do have a friend which can tell right away these things and it agreed. We had some issues, my friend and I but we are good now. Generally the dish I ate wasn't bad but something about it rubbed me the wrong way.

Then I tried it again and I noticed more about its flavor. It caused certain experiences which were completely unlike what I consider good, not very colorful palette. Next I imagined what I consider "bright" which was very bright, though not lasting for too long. I then experienced something which was supposed to be bright, maybe I would be fooled it was bright if I didn't have good reference and with it it was like I was gazing at pitch black multiplied many times over. After this short struggle of will I let my dog out so it could eat it. I find my wild friend to have strange tastes but this is why I keep it around. It can dispose of things I would perhaps not be very keen of disposing of as I like to interact with nice things. I do not however worry about my friend digestive system that much. It has bottomless hunger, as deep as bright my reference fire is.

Some out-gassing is expected as my dog doesn't digest what it considers should not be digested so I will be sure to keep windows open behind which is fresh air so it can get away. Rest is gonna be grinded down to parts smaller than planck length, fibers of its existence will be broken down and burned in the only just light, nothing will remain.

4th color
9/28/20 2:46 PM as a reply to Ni Nurta.
I recently had important insight: Photopic and scotopoic visions have different references.

What that means is that these types of vision are serparate and both need to be trained.
I didn't really train scotopic vision at all. I train doing cessation of mind on it so it doesn't interfere with seeing colors on photopic vision and that is pretty much it. Other than that I have almost no enhancement on it and this is reflected by lack of improvement in sharpness at dark. I am doing some post-processing using parts of brain from photopic vision on what generally look like pretty grainy noise from scotopic vision.

Trying to do synesthetic activation on scotopic sight yielded interresting results but I obviously have this part of brain untraned because now I feel it being dead tired. In photopic vision it looked very similar at first though it was harder because I did not know anything. This time I not only have theory figured out but also have all the moves like inducing synesthetic activation, cessation and even vajra samadhi. The last one, vajra samadhi, literally work miracles for photopic vision emoticon

Still, it can take few years to get to satisfactory level. I am still training photopic vision because to me it seems that however ridiuclously good it already it it can be still taken further.

On related note I also started working with hearing. Hearing is not really undervedeloped as I use it a lot but I do not really know yet how I should properly train it so I am improvising. At least here I know how to activate synesthetic response. Working with hearing yield interresting results such as great amplification of very quiet sounds. I can not yet control in any way control it. For each thing like these there is some interface which is not even initially developed to present itself but at the same time it is not know where it is and what it is so it is impossible to just blindly use it. It takes many years to develop these interfaces. Fortunately I have nothing better to do than practice so I am pretty sure I will manage to develop it emoticon