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Ninurta practice log

Ninurta practice log
2/22/20 9:58 AM
Hello there,
This topic will be my practice log. I will use it as a motivation booster to make my practice more consistent.

Practice that I have in mind is not so much meditation toward enlightenment as it is training my body and senses to have as much acuity in my sense of feeling matter as it is (what kind of experience does it have) I have in my other senses such as seeing and hearing.

This practice consist of holding various materials in my hands and sensing them. It assumes matter can be felt and that experiencing matter in that way will strenghten receptors in my body that react to matter and strenghen my nervous system response to these stimuli.

Such practice require some matter to practice with. Basically anything can be felt but to train myself I find working with more intense and purified forms of more exotic matter types work better. Most matter we have around us is made out of pretty ordinary elements with ordinary configuration so it blends to background noise way too much, at least in the beginning when discerning abilities are non-existent yet.

Materials I work with the most are pure metals and various stones/crystals that I find interresting.
Crystal/stones are usually composed from silicone dioxide, usually with some other oxides in it and thus feel mostly similar to each other. Metals in their purified form are more distinctive and stronger. Each metal is different, especially with different amount valence electrons (from different groups).

Recently I got Moldavite. Not the most pleasant thing out there as it feel like aluminum on steroids but seems to have positive effects on ability to feel such things. I would recommend it to anyone interrested in this stuff. Just do not go wearing it, or any other fancy materials with strong vibrations as those things can overwhelm you when kept for long time close by and other people also feel those things Even if when given such material they claim to feel nothing. It is best to practice such things at home.

Kasina outtakes #1
2/25/20 1:39 AM as a reply to Ni Nurta.
Yesterday I did short session where I first covered my eyes so that no light can be seen even with opened eyes, then closed eyes and observed my hands as I moved them in front of my face. Then I tried to create ball between them. Nothing happened but then when I moved my hands away and stared into space I noticed ball of some sorts there. I then applied rotation and some other more specific programming to it and it started resembling rotating disk similar to galaxy and changed into a whirlpool.

It was very short seesion, few minutes tops, so image did not get colorful and image was somewhat blurry and black and white scotopic vision kind. It however was pretty well defined for this type of visualization and stereoscopic.

Before going sleep I tried it once more. Results were nice when it comes to size and ability to sense touch sensations from these visualizations but image was not very stable and content was not so much controlled as it did whatever it pleases. I am not sure what I have created there but it resembled egg or a very big cell that then bursted and and strands of something came out of it. Chakra virus perhaps? Hopefully it is not contagious =P I then stopped because I wanted to go to sleep.

This second session was also rather short but much longer than first time and I definitelly have hit 1st jhana plateau this time. No color this time either. It usually takes much more time to get any sort of vivid colorful imagery.

Review of previous stages #1
3/1/20 10:23 AM as a reply to Ni Nurta.
I started doing review of all my mind states from the past.
Once thought as attainments and some major changes now seems like just options.

I started investigating how to do that with 7th and then 6th bhumi as a POC and I was little surprised of how easy it was.
So just for laughs I went to investigate pre-1st bhumi territory and this made me experience more or less normal self based perception. Of course unlike in the past nothing is obstructed, mind is transparent like well polished gem, and not a single skill seems to be missing. Mind happily resumed its operation like it was yesterday since I last used it. It is visible in automatic impulses and general perception of doing things. Automatic stuff is still automatic like it always was but when "unsure" then mind immediately drops to consciousness based *doer* and unlike 6th bhumi this doer is in the forefront and not viewed as after-the-fact processing. At something like 8th bhumi and especially 9th bhumi perception answer to everything that happens seems to be Vajra Samadhi. This is actually one of the reasons why I am doing this review practice, to maybe increase diversity by incorporating to my life skills I have already learned. Using one method, no matter how perfect it is, will always have some drawbacks and be lacking in something important. Perhaps it also make me seem completely "unreal" and much less relatable to other people and even in a way forcing their mind hands to my own mind state which not always goes smoothy. This is how I feel about it currently.

Funny thing happened as during meditation as I had a fruition. I have not had those in a while. At first momentary *blip* I actually attempted to stop it and then realized this was overreaction on my part and not fitting to general theme of the mind that was currently is used and then I let it proceed on its own and then there were three blips and mind blanked out and then it resumed with using different part of nervous system doing almost exactly the same things as it did before but with less doer and more autonomous operation like I already had before I started this excercise. In this case this effect was caused by mind still assuming *doer* to be connected to parts that were previously used. Pretty typical stuff really but since I learned to randomize which mind parts are used at later bhumis and did that all the time my mind did not have any need for fruitions and did not have them ever since. If I went even further then I assume mode of mind parts switching would change from fruitions to hower I did back then.

For now I do not feel need to change this mind mode. I have not decided if I should go even further back in time or proceed with bhumis but knowing me I will most probably just choose random mind state. It is not like requires any effort to do anyway.