Ninurta practice log

Ninurta practice log Ni Nurta 2/22/20 9:58 AM
Kasina outtakes #1 Ni Nurta 2/25/20 1:39 AM
Review of previous stages #1 Ni Nurta 3/1/20 10:23 AM
God thoughts Ni Nurta 5/29/20 7:30 PM
10 Bhumi Ni Nurta 7/13/20 4:09 AM
RE: Ninurta practice log Olivier S 7/13/20 5:35 AM
RE: Ninurta practice log Ni Nurta 7/13/20 6:06 AM
RE: Ninurta practice log Olivier S 7/13/20 8:33 AM
Neurogenesis Ni Nurta 7/19/20 5:37 PM
Neurogenesis, some purpose for it... Ni Nurta 7/25/20 7:41 PM
RE: Ninurta practice log Hector 7/20/20 8:56 PM
Myelin Ni Nurta 8/2/20 1:19 PM
Digestion Ni Nurta 8/11/20 1:22 PM
4th color Ni Nurta 9/28/20 2:46 PM
Guatama's hidden secret? Ni Nurta 11/23/20 1:24 PM
RE: Guatama's hidden secret? George S 11/23/20 3:09 PM
Peristent mind configuration changes - experiment results Ni Nurta 1/25/21 5:30 PM
My five path model - from 1st path to 2nd path Ni Nurta 2/1/21 12:18 PM
RE: My five path model - from 1st path to 2nd path Chris M 2/1/21 2:51 PM
RE: My five path model - from 1st path to 2nd path Ni Nurta 2/2/21 2:18 AM
RE: My five path model - from 1st path to 2nd path Chris M 2/2/21 8:46 AM
RE: My five path model - from 1st path to 2nd path George S 2/2/21 10:38 AM
RE: Ninurta practice log Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 2/2/21 10:49 AM
Dukkha reference Ni Nurta 3/1/21 6:51 PM
RE: Ninurta practice log hae1en 3/2/21 10:14 AM
RE: Ninurta practice log Chris M 3/2/21 10:36 AM
RE: Ninurta practice log Ni Nurta 3/3/21 6:53 PM
RE: Ninurta practice log hae1en 3/4/21 7:20 AM
RE: Ninurta practice log George S 3/4/21 3:56 AM
Meditation at different stages of Enlightenment Ni Nurta 3/12/21 9:06 AM
Status update 4.5.21 Ni Nurta 5/4/21 4:07 AM
RE: Ninurta practice log Ni Nurta 6/14/21 6:07 PM
RE: Ninurta practice log Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 6/21/21 3:20 AM
RE: Ninurta practice log Ni Nurta 6/23/21 7:00 AM
RE: Ninurta practice log Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö 6/23/21 7:22 AM
Ni Nurta, modified 2 Years ago at 2/22/20 9:58 AM
Created 2 Years ago at 2/22/20 9:58 AM

Ninurta practice log

Posts: 927 Join Date: 2/22/20 Recent Posts
Hello there,
This topic will be my practice log. I will use it as a motivation booster to make my practice more consistent.

Practice that I have in mind is not so much meditation toward enlightenment as it is training my body and senses to have as much acuity in my sense of feeling matter as it is (what kind of experience does it have) I have in my other senses such as seeing and hearing.

This practice consist of holding various materials in my hands and sensing them. It assumes matter can be felt and that experiencing matter in that way will strenghten receptors in my body that react to matter and strenghen my nervous system response to these stimuli.

Such practice require some matter to practice with. Basically anything can be felt but to train myself I find working with more intense and purified forms of more exotic matter types work better. Most matter we have around us is made out of pretty ordinary elements with ordinary configuration so it blends to background noise way too much, at least in the beginning when discerning abilities are non-existent yet.

Materials I work with the most are pure metals and various stones/crystals that I find interresting.
Crystal/stones are usually composed from silicone dioxide, usually with some other oxides in it and thus feel mostly similar to each other. Metals in their purified form are more distinctive and stronger. Each metal is different, especially with different amount valence electrons (from different groups).

Recently I got Moldavite. Not the most pleasant thing out there as it feel like aluminum on steroids but seems to have positive effects on ability to feel such things. I would recommend it to anyone interrested in this stuff. Just do not go wearing it, or any other fancy materials with strong vibrations as those things can overwhelm you when kept for long time close by and other people also feel those things Even if when given such material they claim to feel nothing. It is best to practice such things at home.
Ni Nurta, modified 2 Years ago at 2/25/20 1:39 AM
Created 2 Years ago at 2/25/20 1:39 AM

Kasina outtakes #1

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Yesterday I did short session where I first covered my eyes so that no light can be seen even with opened eyes, then closed eyes and observed my hands as I moved them in front of my face. Then I tried to create ball between them. Nothing happened but then when I moved my hands away and stared into space I noticed ball of some sorts there. I then applied rotation and some other more specific programming to it and it started resembling rotating disk similar to galaxy and changed into a whirlpool.

It was very short seesion, few minutes tops, so image did not get colorful and image was somewhat blurry and black and white scotopic vision kind. It however was pretty well defined for this type of visualization and stereoscopic.

Before going sleep I tried it once more. Results were nice when it comes to size and ability to sense touch sensations from these visualizations but image was not very stable and content was not so much controlled as it did whatever it pleases. I am not sure what I have created there but it resembled egg or a very big cell that then bursted and and strands of something came out of it. Chakra virus perhaps? Hopefully it is not contagious =P I then stopped because I wanted to go to sleep.

This second session was also rather short but much longer than first time and I definitelly have hit 1st jhana plateau this time. No color this time either. It usually takes much more time to get any sort of vivid colorful imagery.
Ni Nurta, modified 2 Years ago at 3/1/20 10:23 AM
Created 2 Years ago at 3/1/20 10:23 AM

Review of previous stages #1

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I started doing review of all my mind states from the past.
Once thought as attainments and some major changes now seems like just options.

I started investigating how to do that with 7th and then 6th bhumi as a POC and I was little surprised of how easy it was.
So just for laughs I went to investigate pre-1st bhumi territory and this made me experience more or less normal self based perception. Of course unlike in the past nothing is obstructed, mind is transparent like well polished gem, and not a single skill seems to be missing. Mind happily resumed its operation like it was yesterday since I last used it. It is visible in automatic impulses and general perception of doing things. Automatic stuff is still automatic like it always was but when "unsure" then mind immediately drops to consciousness based *doer* and unlike 6th bhumi this doer is in the forefront and not viewed as after-the-fact processing. At something like 8th bhumi and especially 9th bhumi perception answer to everything that happens seems to be Vajra Samadhi. This is actually one of the reasons why I am doing this review practice, to maybe increase diversity by incorporating to my life skills I have already learned. Using one method, no matter how perfect it is, will always have some drawbacks and be lacking in something important. Perhaps it also make me seem completely "unreal" and much less relatable to other people and even in a way forcing their mind hands to my own mind state which not always goes smoothy. This is how I feel about it currently.

Funny thing happened as during meditation as I had a fruition. I have not had those in a while. At first momentary *blip* I actually attempted to stop it and then realized this was overreaction on my part and not fitting to general theme of the mind that was currently is used and then I let it proceed on its own and then there were three blips and mind blanked out and then it resumed with using different part of nervous system doing almost exactly the same things as it did before but with less doer and more autonomous operation like I already had before I started this excercise. In this case this effect was caused by mind still assuming *doer* to be connected to parts that were previously used. Pretty typical stuff really but since I learned to randomize which mind parts are used at later bhumis and did that all the time my mind did not have any need for fruitions and did not have them ever since. If I went even further then I assume mode of mind parts switching would change from fruitions to hower I did back then.

For now I do not feel need to change this mind mode. I have not decided if I should go even further back in time or proceed with bhumis but knowing me I will most probably just choose random mind state. It is not like requires any effort to do anyway.
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 5/29/20 7:30 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 5/29/20 7:30 PM

God thoughts

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I just had interresting observation and thoughts about nature of "God".
The "God" I am refering to is god that Christians believe in.
I was watching YT video where a guy was saying why he believes in his god and was giving examples of strange coincidences that are hard to expalin otherwise and also was saying that the sheer amount of them is proof for him.

What pinned my interrest was however not incidences with which I am too familiar with but something different, the general vibe of what he believed to be his god. I did not feel and see what I believe to be the true god of all creation but instead I felt and saw black hole. Then it stuck me that this is the same vibe everyone from this religion who actually believe in their god share.

Then I had realization which goes like this: Jahve, which is also Christian God is black hole of our galaxy and it itself actually did believe to be the true god and did it for a long long time. It does not anymore and it is good to have some external confirmation. I pretty much always rejected it as my god because it never felt like it. However in some sense it is just like Sun is my god. Just not highest one.
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 7/13/20 4:09 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 7/13/20 4:09 AM

10 Bhumi

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I am pretty sure that yesterday I realized how to use Vajra Samadhi correctly and thus completed 10th Bhumi and 5th Mahayana path.

Now what is left to do is to carry wood and chop watter.
Olivier S, modified 1 Year ago at 7/13/20 5:35 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 7/13/20 5:35 AM

RE: Ninurta practice log

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What is it, can you develop that ?
Bravo emoticon
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 7/13/20 6:06 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 7/13/20 6:06 AM

RE: Ninurta practice log

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Vajra Samadhi is an experience of everything at all times, pretty much the whole multiverse.
Your experience (which is the same thing as my experience, just at different location in space-time) can experience this everything. The key is to not confuse experience with content of experience.

In a way it sounds kinda magical and actually it is pretty much as supermundane as anything possibly can be. In Mahayana no one cares if it is supermundane or impossible, just if developing it would be helpful to ohter sentient beings.

Actually it is pretty easy to do once you get a hang on it. Not harder than eg. experiencing Nibbana and the only requirement is that you allow everything to experience you as well.
Olivier S, modified 1 Year ago at 7/13/20 8:33 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 7/13/20 8:33 AM

RE: Ninurta practice log

Posts: 755 Join Date: 4/27/19 Recent Posts
Sounds great. Namo tassa Ni Nurta.
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 7/19/20 5:37 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 7/19/20 5:36 PM


Posts: 927 Join Date: 2/22/20 Recent Posts
Yesterday I was investigating process of generating new neurons. I wanted to know how this feels like, how to make it happen, and what makes neurons feel like they do. I started pondering on it and started partially experiencing reality without typical rich vibrant colors to it, like whatever processed senses was lacking something. Then I lets say took "energy" I liked and filled my brain with it. I mostly experienced my normal neurons responding to it.

Then in one moment I felt a kind of crump in place that felts without taste/color, like something touched it. I also experienced slight momentary visual distortion. Then after that I felt taste/color I have not seen before, a kind of reddish crimson violet. Not quite like me and not quite like the energy I took as reference.

Then I realized this what I suppose was new "initialized" neuron is in wrong position so I moved it different location somewhere in the middle of my right hemisphere. It was very easy, unlike trying to move neurons which are already connected which always feels quite strange to say the least.

I specifically did not do that after I got to 3rd path, this giving birth to new beings. Now however I believe I can do it skillfully and not suffer any growing pains because of it. Of course I do not actually exactly know how to do it this neurogenesis yet but since my body knows I just let it do it and observed how it happens. It seems I knew enough to stop this process however and I did it in order to not have to deal with too much things at once and perfect my existing mind. I am quite sure that with this practice of neurogenesis sooner or later I will know everything that there is to know about it.

For now I will observe the new neuron to then be able to skillfully deal with any issues that arise while such beings are growing. I mean I already kinda know but I need to re-evaluate it within my current mind framework. My mind is somewhat more skillful now than it was in the past.
Hector, modified 1 Year ago at 7/20/20 8:56 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 7/20/20 8:56 PM

RE: Ninurta practice log

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The first time I picked up moldavite (it's the green space glass right)? It felt like fizzy 7-up and I sneezed, but only on my right side because my right hand was holding it. I don't understand how rocks can interact with my consciousness like that. I had trouble before noticing any difference, so I held a black one (tourmaline) in my left and moldavite in my right in order to see if there was any perceived differences between them.
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 7/25/20 7:41 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 7/25/20 7:41 PM

Neurogenesis, some purpose for it...

Posts: 927 Join Date: 2/22/20 Recent Posts
Always when I experience something new there is this excitation in my mind about it and its results and it can prevent replicating it. I usually need to spend some time to deal with excitation before I can then master the effect.

I just had the idea... since I know how to create neurons and initialize them I initialized new neuron with this whole energy of anticipation for result. Let it be the "this effect guy" and with this... mind doesn't need to worry about this effect anymore, excitation is gone, it was used up on act of creation.

Neuron seems to have been created just fine and feels very excited in general, like all the mental energy from mind is now in this one spot. It being excited doesn't however disturb mind because it is excited in one spot and is pleasant. Kinda tingly feeling emoticon

This would probably not go that well without jhanic mind but I show these neurons wrong mind states to begin with for them to pick up bad habits. I'll teach them Vajra Samadhi instead and make them in to gods and jhanas will be the only mind state they will see from me, with nice Nibbana in background.

Time needed to go from having this kind of issue (excitation in mind and "we wanna do it again" attitude) to not having it seems to be reduced many orders of magnitude with the new method compared to how I did it before. I do however remember this sort of thing happening before. Now that I look at my memory and at how I did it I see I had no idea what I was doing (like I do now... XD) and most importantly how I handled it all later was completely terrible... no wonder I had so many traumatized neurons in my head XD

Oh, and I discovered new use for 7th jhana.
Actually I discovered something yesterday and now I just followed this idea which was the cause for all the excitement in my mind. And all I did was adding some sparklers on top of trees emoticon
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 8/2/20 1:19 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 8/2/20 1:18 PM


Posts: 927 Join Date: 2/22/20 Recent Posts
Many years ago I noticed some parts of brain are fine and dandy and some seems to be emotional and focusing on them generate strong repulsive response. When this is fixed then neurons are no longer emotional and just work are pretty quiet even when they work and produce only a kind of clicking sound (let's say I have my internal ears trained just like I have my internal eyes...)

Recently I formulated theory that this is due to missing myelin sheets on neuron axons. All neurons should be myelinated to work correctly, otherwise pushing signals through them will create "energy motion" or emotions.
One way to deal with unmyelinated neurons is to avoid using them but that is bad solution. It would be best to find out all neurons which need treatment and apply it.

The method I used for myself in the past was using touch visualization and used specific object which came up should be used for this purpose (then I did not know nothing about myelin but I knew what quality I want to parts of brain) and opepration was kinda like I was "sanding" parts of my brain with this object it until they felt like they should. Currently I am not sure what else methods can/should be used. More research is needed.

This came to me recently because I started purposefully creating new neurons. Actually quite a lot of them and taking lot of different sources a reference to increase variety. New neurons are usually not much active, not to mention they are not that well connected but they are also more "emotional". This expression of emotionality differs from neuron to neuron but by general rule all neurons should be treated to only produce "clicking, otherwise traveling charges create waves and movement in my mind.
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 8/11/20 1:22 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 8/11/20 12:57 PM


Posts: 927 Join Date: 2/22/20 Recent Posts
While I was hanging around 6th avenue I decided to give it a try to one popular dish in these parts. At first it felt strange and I had bad feeling about it, like one of those bad things which are really good only at pretending they are good. Something about it... bad vibe and I do have a friend which can tell right away these things and it agreed. We had some issues, my friend and I but we are good now. Generally the dish I ate wasn't bad but something about it rubbed me the wrong way.

Then I tried it again and I noticed more about its flavor. It caused certain experiences which were completely unlike what I consider good, not very colorful palette. Next I imagined what I consider "bright" which was very bright, though not lasting for too long. I then experienced something which was supposed to be bright, maybe I would be fooled it was bright if I didn't have good reference and with it it was like I was gazing at pitch black multiplied many times over. After this short struggle of will I let my dog out so it could eat it. I find my wild friend to have strange tastes but this is why I keep it around. It can dispose of things I would perhaps not be very keen of disposing of as I like to interact with nice things. I do not however worry about my friend digestive system that much. It has bottomless hunger, as deep as bright my reference fire is.

Some out-gassing is expected as my dog doesn't digest what it considers should not be digested so I will be sure to keep windows open behind which is fresh air so it can get away. Rest is gonna be grinded down to parts smaller than planck length, fibers of its existence will be broken down and burned in the only just light, nothing will remain.
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 9/28/20 2:46 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 9/28/20 2:46 PM

4th color

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I recently had important insight: Photopic and scotopoic visions have different references.

What that means is that these types of vision are serparate and both need to be trained.
I didn't really train scotopic vision at all. I train doing cessation of mind on it so it doesn't interfere with seeing colors on photopic vision and that is pretty much it. Other than that I have almost no enhancement on it and this is reflected by lack of improvement in sharpness at dark. I am doing some post-processing using parts of brain from photopic vision on what generally look like pretty grainy noise from scotopic vision.

Trying to do synesthetic activation on scotopic sight yielded interresting results but I obviously have this part of brain untraned because now I feel it being dead tired. In photopic vision it looked very similar at first though it was harder because I did not know anything. This time I not only have theory figured out but also have all the moves like inducing synesthetic activation, cessation and even vajra samadhi. The last one, vajra samadhi, literally work miracles for photopic vision emoticon

Still, it can take few years to get to satisfactory level. I am still training photopic vision because to me it seems that however ridiuclously good it already it it can be still taken further.

On related note I also started working with hearing. Hearing is not really undervedeloped as I use it a lot but I do not really know yet how I should properly train it so I am improvising. At least here I know how to activate synesthetic response. Working with hearing yield interresting results such as great amplification of very quiet sounds. I can not yet control in any way control it. For each thing like these there is some interface which is not even initially developed to present itself but at the same time it is not know where it is and what it is so it is impossible to just blindly use it. It takes many years to develop these interfaces. Fortunately I have nothing better to do than practice so I am pretty sure I will manage to develop it emoticon
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 11/23/20 1:24 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 11/23/20 1:24 PM

Guatama's hidden secret?

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One thing from Siddhārtha Gautama (also known as just Buddha) story always bugged me the most. It is the bit with him taking some tour and seeing sick and dead men which made such a big impression on him. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. No one leaves being prince destined to become king just because some peasants died... unless this was partially true but more... let's say part of larger intrigue in which events Gautama was personally involved emoticon

There is only one thing which makes otherwise sane man loose his damn mind. So what I guess happened is that he fell in love with the kind of girl which was let's say not from the right caste. Perhaps fell too deep and that made him have rather revolutionary of simply imapropriate thoughts. This however wouldn't make young Gautama become mentally insane... unless he was personally guilty of his lover's death... It wouldn't matter if someone else did it. For him it was all the same. So what I think happened is that our future Buddha told about his love to someone who then herself killed his lover or the information traveled to her. By her I mean someone whom Siddharta would later marry.

And that kind of events, with his lover first felling sick and then dying at our poor hero's hands and then learning who did it would be just enough to make enough to bring emotional and mental shock to anyone and sent our poor Gautama in to formless realms. Meaning some fuses in his brain just melted.

No proof, no anything. This is just a theory.
Still hella more believable than being shocked by seeing random people emoticon

ps. Obviously I do not have anythign more interresting to ponder on at the moment emoticon
George S, modified 1 Year ago at 11/23/20 3:09 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 11/23/20 3:07 PM

RE: Guatama's hidden secret?

Posts: 2396 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent Posts
Could have been something to do with having a kid and his own mother having died - a subconscious drive to replicate the experience of having an absent parent.
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 1/25/21 5:30 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 1/25/21 5:30 PM

Peristent mind configuration changes - experiment results

Posts: 927 Join Date: 2/22/20 Recent Posts
In summer 2020 I figured out a way to make persistent changes in mind using my idea of 5th jhana. My version in that it was developed using different practices, more related to practicing synesthesia (as was my general idea to how I should practice in order to get enlightened) and differs somewhat from what people experience... which I know because... I just know emoticon

So the general idea was that it is possible to directly modify certain nodes inside my head and initial testing showed it would change the default way signals run in mind in its default mind state. These could be overridden by entering mind state which would change parameters of certain nodes temporarily to make signals run differently. In the end mind always goes to its default state and it is what can be changed with said method. At least that was what it seemed to be able to do. I tested few changes including a kind of reversing certain change I associate with what happened on 6 January 2015. Then after few days I reconfigured it to be like it was before (before making this change and after 6jan) again and even did similar change to something which felt that changed could yield similar effect and which was in different part of brain giving me very cool effect. It made consciousness even more split and eg. when feeling my hand each finger was made from little consciousnesses let alone each body part was its own consciousness.

It all looked rather promising, especially because these changes just seemed persistent and were not changing back. Next logical step was to make even bigger changes and then leave them as they are to test if these changes will will persist. I choose drastically different mind configuration which was based on certain person, or at least simplified idealized (in sense of sticking to layout) version of what I saw their mind is like (did I mention I have five Buddha eyes? emoticon). It was simple layout with signals running straight from top of my head in straight lines downward without connecting to anything and without anything to make signals return. In essence zero feedback loops. I set it to do itself at night by moving small part of my mind somewhere else (yeah... to they sky with it) and rest was to be erased by green "truth seeking orb" while I was sleeping. It worked and worked so well that since then I feel nothing like I felt before. I would literally experience dukkha because somehow signals just did not terminate anywhere and there was no way to control anything. Even moving the saved part back did not help much other than at least allow me do get on-demand ability do experience these mind states. I could not use my mind states which previously I could easily trigger and have them working for long enough that even if I had to re-do them from time to time that was not an issue. With new mind I was so tired that my brain started switching hemispheres. Being able to run more or less two at the same time was something I liked so being forced to shut down hemispheres to avoid suffering was a big downgrade to me. I couldn't also do any of the mind states I could before for more than short while. Nothing would really stick as there was no ways for mind configuration to re-apply itself. It was not however all terrible. For one the way I experienced synesthesia with this mind state was much nicer in a sense that any experiences which mind created (got from universe? emoticon) about places I saw were actually projected as real sense so eg. when seeing tropical island I felt sun, could smell air, and when seeing snowy mountains I felt cold and wind and its nice air. It also works for sewers so I need to be careful with that skill. Thankfully I can choose what I experience. I could do this before but it was more like flashes of sensual experiences. Less immersive. Other nice change was my sense of self. Previous mind state had it appear terrible if I enabled it fully and went out of jhanas, really not something I liked and I just had it either completely disabled or partially enabled with more like flashes of experiencing it otherwise not having it 99% of the time. With the new mind state I would say I like my sense of self. It is actually pretty nice with nice light grey color. Knowing that sense of self is something other people notice first and foremost about me made me want to prioritize making it nicer. This mind is also simpler and doesn't require jhanas as much. Since I configured it I am pretty much neither doing them nor really feel I need them. Some aspect of general mind state (which have some correction, which are described below) seems to still more tiring than what I could do for six years which is staying in 8th jhana where everything would be very still and I would experience deep rest all the time. The issue with that previous mind was however that while it was mostly true there was experience of being tired at places (dukkha) and locating all of these was bothersome. It is easier now and generally I would say this is much better base to build anything on than convoluted mind which had before even if technically the old one was developed to the point it had more advanced features.

The way I went at fixing issues with being tired was that I replaced some of signal pathways with a kind of criss-cross pattern which I felt would feel nice (actually testing these patterns without applying them permanently is possible just by visualization - something I practiced years before and called it "mind state visualization", just at the time making them stay required doing them often and over time they would slowly change mind configuration, unlike the new method where I can just program mind in few minutes). It felt on one side nicer but on other I did that hastily and it looks terrible, not symmetric at all. Then I had idea "try something new!" and my thoughts went in direction of recursion and jhanas. So I invented pattern which would start with one node on which I would meditate to move its jhana from 1 to 9 and then on rollout I it would spawn exactly four new nodes. These I would meditate on and in the same way each would spawn four new nodes. Did it few times until I felt my mind was packed full with them. The overall pattern that this made looks, well, it looks bizzare and not very symmetric. There is more nodes on right side. Whole process took maybe 10-15 minutes and I called this mind "vajra mind". This mind feel strange, thinking became easier and also feel deep, so much so that no matter what I am thinking about using it seem not sufficient challenge and like shooting fly with atom bomb. It is also not very synesthetic, colors it make me see are not very vibrant and more like everything was white. Good for visualization though. My visualization improved with it. It didn't feel like something I want to have on all the time, especially since it seemed taxing on brain power (and it was supposed to help with that aspect which defeated its purpose). It was however pretty easy to disable this mind state by altering the central node from which I began creating this mind pattern. It is in a kind of state where it doesn't really trigger on its own unless I call this mind state. After that I realized that if I continue these experiments then I can break my mind so I stopped. It already felt I did too many changes in too short time. So I stopped, especially since after all these changes it generally was pretty workable. I also expected some small optimization to happen as the time goes on as they always do, especially when doing jhanas.

So tl;dr story is that when I made myself more or less workable and good enough that I didn't touch this ability to change mind configuration. Didn't even do much of any jhanas seeing them as too hard to do and not needed so I am just using my default mind state and it is pretty much is almost identical as it was half year ago, maybe more glowing. With that I must conclude that initial impression that this method can be used for persistent mind configuration changes including persistent perception changes does actually work as expected. It is mostly the mind state I at first configured + the criss-cross pattern which I allows me to easily experience pleasure. The recursive "vajra mind" is mostly inactive but its central node does have certain threshold which trigger it from time to time. Threshold of mind nodes and generally this aspect is controlled with 8th jhana... but perhaps it is better if I describe technical aspects of configuring mind in different post.

Currently I have no plans regarding this stuff but since I started thinking about it I might try to do something.
BTW. I analyzed person from who I took the idea for mind configuration and I guess I more or less figured out how they made it work for themselves without obvious feedback loops (typically people do have them in one form or another even if they generally have similar structure) but it is rather strange solution which I do not entirely understand... but is also something which is even more obvious characteristic of that person now that I noticed it. Anyway, I cannot say any more about this. People from whom I copy mind configurations and mind states shall remain anonymous. Anyone can use their own enlightened Buddha eyes to check this directly out of me... is my reasoning emoticon

BTW2. New text editor with Courier New and word wrapping is perfect. Like if I was writing in notepad++... which I actually started using to edit posts anyway because Liferay 6 text editor was terrible. So one thing improved in the sea of "emptiness", just like I predicted, 7th Bhumi-like emoticon
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 2/1/21 12:18 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 2/1/21 12:18 PM

My five path model - from 1st path to 2nd path

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Warning: if you want to save your insanity skip this post, hic sunt dracones

If you can tell that your direct all of your direct experience is actually non-experience/Nibbana and actual experience of mind and senses experience which still might be somewhat bothersome is like series of infinitely small flashes that happens from time to time then that would be first tier of 1st path.

In this model clear perception of non-experience is 2nd tier of 1st path whereas in first tier it is just something that is muddied by all rapid cycling... and YES, this is great indicator if you have made it there to 1st path - mind states / Nanas should change so quick you wonder what the funk is happening... well, I did wonder what is happening because I had no idea about these models other than reading entry in Wikipedia that there are four paths so I assumed that since I kinda can feel something which feels like enlightenment (Nibbana) kinda being there all the time and some kind of obstruction being removed from my mind I must have made to this first level at least.

Third tier is realizing what fruition does and learning how to do them at will. At this point remaining in dukkha feels pretty intentional because it would require to continue something that gets progressively worse over time. Though there is a catch and actually further paths and resolving it (understanding real source of dukkha) is 3rd tier of 3rd path that leads to 4th path which is Enlightenment. Mean-while 2nd path is like alpha-version of 4th path and actually better fits description of 4th path than actual 4th path does. Then there is nothing to go from there. By all means at this point 1st tier of 2nd path is the end.

And if it is end of the path right there then how can once-returner go further? emoticon
If only some left some in-your-face clue... thankfully one does not need that sheet today and can ALWAYS use insight that goes from artificial neuron network training on how to resolve hitting false vacuum-like situations and optimize beyond what normal linear regression process allows for. Because why one would even study dharma books to get enlightenment when one can study ROBOTS emoticon
Chris M, modified 1 Year ago at 2/1/21 2:51 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 2/1/21 2:51 PM

RE: My five path model - from 1st path to 2nd path

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Philosophers study zombies. Does that count?  ;)
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 2/2/21 2:18 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 2/2/21 2:18 AM

RE: My five path model - from 1st path to 2nd path

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Chris Marti
Philosophers study zombies. Does that count?  ;)
Depends on their imagination and what kind of zombies, slow zombies? fast zombies? resisdent evil constantly mutating zombies?

In biology you have something called "zombie cells" :
This can actually be relevant to general well-being
If your body is full of them and they prevent normal cells from replacing thse useless cells then you look and feel older.

Though if this is relevant to practice I do not really know. Something perhaps that need investigation along restoring telomeres and other things which seems to change/deteriorate over time.
Chris M, modified 1 Year ago at 2/2/21 8:46 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 2/2/21 8:45 AM

RE: My five path model - from 1st path to 2nd path

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Zombies in philosophy are imaginary creatures designed to illuminate problems about consciousness and its relation to the physical world. Unlike the ones in films or witchcraft, they are exactly like us in all physical respects but without conscious experiences: by definition, there is ‘nothing it is like’ to be a zombie. Yet zombies behave just like us, and some even spend a lot of time discussing consciousness.

George S, modified 1 Year ago at 2/2/21 10:38 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 2/2/21 10:38 AM

RE: My five path model - from 1st path to 2nd path

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Some zombies have even developed a turing test to detect other zombies.
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö, modified 1 Year ago at 2/2/21 10:49 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 2/2/21 10:49 AM

RE: Ninurta practice log

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Haha, I used to be one of those very regularly in some life periods. That may have been why the universe got tired of waiting for me to come to my senses and had that Kundalini stuff powering through. Imaginal stories aside, getting ADHD medicines helped a lot - thankfully. Recurrently coming back from a gap of consciousness not knowing how much time had passed or even where I was or what I was doing was pretty stressful. It happened so often while I was waiting for buses that I learned to recognize the strangers that regularly took the same buses as me so that I quickly could check whether I had missed the bus that had stopped right in front of me. If they were still there, I could relax a bit. It was more scary when it happen while I was on board a bus or a train and "woke up" as the voice called out the name of a street that exists in basically every town in Sweden. I couldn't remember in which town I was (I lived in one town and worked in another one) or whether it was morning or evening, or if I was going home or to work, so I didn't know if I should have gone off the buss already, and I didn't want to miss a train. Once I missed a train that I was early to, because by the time it arrived, my attention had gone to sleep, so I had to wait another two hours for the next train (Yup, when I say that I had lots of lowhanging fruit in the beginning of my practice, I'm not exaggerating). 
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 3/1/21 6:51 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 3/1/21 6:51 PM

Dukkha reference

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So I remembered a practice I used to do so here is the short history and what it led to.
"Used to" because after enough practice I just do it and that cannot be called as practice.

At that point knew how to do/get many experiences with some kind of actions. Simplest and most understandable action to get widely known effect is doing formal concentration meditation to get jhana but there are many actions one can do especially when studying own nervous system which looks like doing something in head space which can change something in perception, this sort of things. From formal meditation effects I knew were also the special "agitated" state that Mahasi noting causes. My favorite was just breath meditation effects. Simple and effective. Also this was the one I remember wanting mostly within this practice.

The idea of this practice was that to not do anything I knew how to do and still get the effect I wanted. So to get 1st jhana I would somehow just have it without any doing any concentration, it would just need to happen whenever I wanted to have it. I practiced this for almost all my free time and even at times at work. The main factor for optimization in my practice was time it took to get significant results and I always aimed at instant effects.

Over time I started calling it "Mind state visualization" because the basic method worked as well for any mind state I could come up with.
The practice was studying what makes me tick, how things work, what causes what, etc. With this investigation I developed generalized mind theory that says that if I desire effect of meditation eg. relaxation breath concentration provides it would be because this kind of relaxation was already existing within mind and its existence was the only thing which made me want it. If not for it I would not know about about it, would not think about it, would simply not care about the mind state. And because it already existed then it could somehow be accessed and made in to full blown experience. The way to experience something fully is done through consciousness. It is like broadcast system and if something is connected to it directly it fills the whole nervous system. Any patterns of firing seems to just fill whole mind.

This practice/theory eventually led to even more generalized insight "dukkha is the result of existence of pleasurable experience within mind which is not experienced". This insight I formulated roughly six years ago and I had no need to use any other insight since then, it just works. The "reference" is the pleasure and experiencing it causes dukkha to not arise because it is not experiencing it that causes dukkha in the first place. No relief, no liberation, no such nonsense that mind does not need and what actually takes its attention from finding these references. Mind is not very calibrated when it comes where it looks for experiences and this caused it to miss these references. The way to experience references is to find them and just experience them which done pretty much like these practices I just described. I always called resulting just "reference experience". Playing with this stuff will inevitably lead to ability to experience absolutely everything that can be experienced.

So generally to summarize this practice or rather results when it works is what I call as "meditation". Thus this practice is what I call as "meditation practice". Finishing this practice (which is both knowing how it is done and knowing the theory behind it) is what I call "Enlightenment".

The idea what to do and how came to me when practicing eyesight improvements. Some things just work.
hae1en, modified 1 Year ago at 3/2/21 10:14 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 3/2/21 10:14 AM

RE: Ninurta practice log

Posts: 99 Join Date: 10/13/19 Recent Posts
Dear Ninurta,

I've been reading some of your entries from time to time and - although I also value my being anonimous here - have two questions, one personal. You don't have to answer of course. 

Sometimes you refer to mahayana and 10 bhumis - have you received training in any mahayana traditions or is it just that you are using a language and map from a certain classical text (which one?) because it explains your territories well? This is the personal one.

Other, I can sometimes understand the points you are making about synesthesia and communication with and between the "neurons" as you put it. But why did you choose this "neuroscientific" language instead of saying for example: subminds, self-parts, self-processes, sense-consciousnesses, micro-activities, brain functions or even thought-forms or little egregores :-))? For me this would make your insights more understandable and less "esoteric" despite using scientific terms.

Unless there is something specific which makes you think the communication happens with single nerve cells literaly. But why not between brain PARTS, not single cells?

Dan Brown mapped many of the nondual experience neural correlates, which we turn on and off during meditation. For example he says that there are parts of left prefrontal lobe responsible for metacognitive thinking and right part is responsible for metacognitive imagining. He teaches i.e. techniques on how to switch between the two. Metacognitive imagining would be maybe when discursive language stopped but we can still intentionally use attention to examine the meditative realms and the left process would be off. Awareness which doesn't have to use linear thinking is much faster and see the systemic connections better. He's also good with the non-localized sense of self. 

Oliver Sacks also writes much about these functions, which we sometimes turn off or on in meditation, like ownership of the body in asomatognosia, ownership of the voice one can experience in relationship to internal dialogue and even in hypnagogic states and auditory hallucinations. Or when one stimulates temporal lobes with so called God Helmet, the sense of having awareness is projected outside into various forms of "sensed presence".

I defenitely think it's possible and amazing that you trained to volitionally turn on and off these brain functions and make bizzarre blends from them - like space (turn off some somatosensoring mapping parts and turn on some visual processing parts) filled with the sensation of rapsberry's taste (turn on some memory in hipokamp) :-))). But why single neurons?
Chris M, modified 1 Year ago at 3/2/21 10:36 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 3/2/21 10:36 AM

RE: Ninurta practice log

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Other, I can sometimes understand the points you are making about synesthesia and communication with and between the "neurons" as you put it. But why did you choose this "neuroscientific" language instead of saying for example: subminds, self-parts, self-processes, sense-consciousnesses, micro-activities, brain functions or even thought-forms or little egregores :-))? For me this would make your insights more understandable and less "esoteric" despite using scientific terms.


(I've asked about this before, from the same perspective - ease of understanding)
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 3/3/21 6:53 PM
Created 1 Year ago at 3/3/21 6:53 PM

RE: Ninurta practice log

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I use language that is not ambiguous. If there is physical object, or more precisely self contained living being called neuron then how should I refer to it other than just neuron? This is the most precise and accurate term.
Cannot conceive neurons? Guess what, "single neuron perspective" is completely inconceivable with the kind of mind you use. Either you get it or not, gap between these is wide, however not impossible to get through it. You either build rafts and find it is pointless because there is void instead of water or you disappear on one side and appear on the other like the grownups do.

Also I never talked about neurons communicating directly. If anything I ever talked about signal routing issues in nervous system and used concept of neuron to indicate they can get tired and person should know how to reroute signals when this is recognized and that routing is done through control signals sent through consciousness which is just a kind of broadcast system in body/mind. I am pretty sure I said that. Nothing about is hard to understand really, most of this depends on basic meditation skills. It is unambiguous and dry. Also how to practice it is pretty obvious. Just practice each thing you do not understand separately and then practice doing them together thing. And if it is like walking that you need to use both legs otherwise will fall then it might take longer than few days, even years.

Internal "spiritual" functions of neurons is topic I did not talk about. I remember writing something about it but I never posted it because it just did not make sense to raise these points especially with the kind of language people indicate they already do not get in relation to clicky nervous system which is simpler stuff. Though obviously it is possible to get in to advanced spirituality without knowing own nervous system I disapprove of doing that seeing how much easier it is after basics are learned compared to this blurry mess that mind is before. What to know computers then learn high level programming language, then more advanced languages with pointers, access to memory and interrupts but to really know you need to go to assembler, gates and actual electrical side of computer. Then you know computers. Want to learn mind then also first higher level stuff is useful to get in to but eventually you need to dwell in more advanced topics with pointers, access to parts of nervous system, even if abstracted in to bigger packages. At some point however to really get to juicy stuff there neurons and their internal reality and how they connect and really cooperate.

I never had formal teacher. I used spiritual teachers through spiritual means. Whether this was true or not is irrelevant really. I got insight regardless, Nibbana and stuff. Mahayana terms I use because I have rights to do so given I took Bodhisattva vow. The classic way, in my cave and before all sentient beings I said bunch of nonsense about routing issues as the source of dukkha. Then just to be sure what I said was anything good I started testing various configurations locally on myself and fried my brain in hours from complete sensory and nervous system overload. Got fancy perceptions though, all-sense synesthesia and such. I took this very seriously this vow thing. It took few years to refine my models until I was relatively happy with the results. Then few more years of debugging, and getting some other required understandings, getting ownership of certain "keys" and then testing even more improvements. Eg. last year I developed better methods of doing persistent perception changes than the one I used to test all the things until then, and which felt like something I developed before I was even born, terribly outdated. What I am trying to say is that I am not thinking only in terms derived from science. I lean toward them however when it is applicable because these are imho the best most precise terms to describe things without emotional attachment to mind states they cause because scientific terms are precise and dry, do not elicit anything. Even though I like modern science so much I mostly use old-school methods of practice: "How to test what is that bright glowing and warm thing that people sit around? Well, obviously by putting my hand in to it, then I will surely know what this 'fire' is all about! =)". Works every time XD

BTW. Unless someone perception spheres are not inconceivable (which means they use better encoding schemes than hacking tech used by person who perceives them) it is possible and very easy to copy their mind configurations. This is part of basic meditative skills I have as the Stream Enterer and more importantly I am aware of them. That is also why Stream Enterers do not need silly practices described by people as they can see through them, their practices and what they led to and work with the stuff directly if this is somehow needed/wanted. Hence no 3rd fetter can grow or sustain itself in Stream Enterer. It is called "Next fetter is, and listen to it very carefully, is attachment to all pointless repetitive actions which are supposed to bring liberation like rites and rituals or the nonsense that you do and call it your practice". Of course they did not listen carefully and went to repeat the same nonsense they did for thousandths of years XD Well, the rumor say that at least the tree which heard these words got Stream Entry. I suppose unlike humans there it had just enough thought leaves. At least Stream Enterers have unwavering certainty that if anyone can do it it will be the Buddhas who will be able to guide them and say what they need to hear even if it is simple "no! those are my private matters, why would you even ask that?!?! but you know, actually... I do..."

Hope this answered some of your questions about me and gave you some ideas about what kind of sentient being I am.
George S, modified 1 Year ago at 3/4/21 3:56 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 3/4/21 3:56 AM

RE: Ninurta practice log

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I like it! Amazingly granular experience.
hae1en, modified 1 Year ago at 3/4/21 7:20 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 3/4/21 7:20 AM

RE: Ninurta practice log

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Thank you for explainig. I'm defenitely not this adult level, so I'm in no position to evaluate it, but if it's possible, then defenitely it sounds very interesting.

The only similar mind map that comes to my mind is Abidhamma with it's ability to take apart the seeming mind-stream and differentiate between all the discrete mind moments (citta dhammas) separately. To quote a random text: "If there are 17.280 possible varieties of actively wholesome consciousness [cittas], it follows that the corresponding eight classes of resultant consciousnesses might similarly be further subdivided to give 17.280 classes." :-). I used to think of them in a way DhO treats "sensations" however, because sensations seem to be self-aware as if they were two-phase capsules containing citta/luminosity+some other content/function. Which might similar to your "self contained living being called neuron", but I guess it might also be way more complicated. In any case - interesting. 
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 3/12/21 9:06 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 3/12/21 9:06 AM

Meditation at different stages of Enlightenment

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0. staring at the blinking command prompt and wondering what to type
1. 10 goto 10
2. while(1);
3. bne -2
4. +[]
5. doing other stuff while waiting for programs to finish

1 story emoticon
Ni Nurta, modified 1 Year ago at 5/4/21 4:07 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 5/4/21 4:07 AM

Status update 4.5.21

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On 18.04.21 I did some reconfiguration changes to my mind and one change week later. It had to do with bringing some jhana abilities back as I lost them last year due to some tests of method to do persistent mind configuration changes (described in previous messages). The "persistent" part was tested to be actually true as I whatever I visualized using this method just stayed and greatly affected how I felt and what I could do. I didn't do any practices which I knew would slowly reconfigure my mind (which used the same qualities that this method depends on!) that I used before 4th path and instead qualities more typical for me meditation and less typical because they resulted from last configuration changes. These changes put me on cycle of insight of sorts because I am definitely cycling through nanas and recognize nanas like DN happened few times already. I do not stop them this time and just let them roll. It is rapid cycling and it is not like eg. Dark Night is super unpleasant anyway so I just practice feeling good by not clinging to relief so I feel good enough. It is obvious when dukkha nana hits me because dukkha nanas have very specific effects. Cessations happen from time to time but are not super spectacular.

Goal of this change was to be able to do jhanas like before and it was partially met. While it is not quite the same level I can definitely do them now in more or less the same way as before. One particular state or consciousness arose which I didn't anticipate and never aimed at having it but new things definitely it make it all more fun emoticon

Yesterday I had fun meditation with lots of energies. General theme was visual synchronization issues with it completely breaking in one case leading to completely messed up picture but I guess I managed to sync it up somewhat. Things were quite weavy at times and rolling. Other than that some shapes looked like lacking bandwidth which I guess might indicate where the issue lies. Other than that there typical attitudes and issues and typical solutions seem to have worked just fine. Of course who is the baddest ass topic arose, like it was not already known... that it is not a race ;) I do not do that often as I find it hard to sync up but lets say at times conditions are right. Probably need to focus more on this side of my practice and be less dependent on external conditions.

Anyway, other than forced mind changes and cycling no major changes or developments. I can't see anymore than I already did and 'non-duality' is perceived as much as it did last year. Maybe even slightly less coherent presentation-wise when it comes to senses since last change but it looks like something that depends on certain breaks in signaling that I introduced and for now I am testing how to control signal flow without maybe removing those breaks completely. Not sure how to do it yet optimally but that is what practice is for emoticon
Ni Nurta, modified 11 Months ago at 6/14/21 6:07 PM
Created 11 Months ago at 6/14/21 6:07 PM

RE: Ninurta practice log

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Found great video on great channel.
If is about this effect where you can see polarization of light.
Normally I do not see it much when gazin at my LCD IPS screen directly but if I rotate my head a little is is fairly visible.

This effect is very useful because it allows to very quickly calibrate center of seeing to fovea which is inside macula lutea emoticon
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö, modified 11 Months ago at 6/21/21 3:20 AM
Created 11 Months ago at 6/21/21 3:20 AM

RE: Ninurta practice log

Posts: 6291 Join Date: 12/8/18 Recent Posts
Hah, funny, I very recently saw the same video. I haven't investigated this yet, but I have noticed that I'm more prone to seeing white light separating itself into different colors nowadays. 
Ni Nurta, modified 11 Months ago at 6/23/21 7:00 AM
Created 11 Months ago at 6/23/21 7:00 AM

RE: Ninurta practice log

Posts: 927 Join Date: 2/22/20 Recent Posts
It is not so obvious to notice right away but now after I started to try to see it from time to time it becomes more and more noticeable. I can see it now very easily and its pretty... just pretty emoticon Fun thing about it is that it rotates when I rotate my head (like an owl). It is also much easier to notice when I rotate my head. I did notice yellow or blue lights for many years now and especially last few years and wondered what that was about. Actually I am quite a bit relieved it is normal expected effect and not my eyes preparing for untimely departure to glorious pari-nibbana ;)

Colored light on normal white color... I am not sure. Maybe tears of joy? emoticon
Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö, modified 11 Months ago at 6/23/21 7:22 AM
Created 11 Months ago at 6/23/21 7:21 AM

RE: Ninurta practice log

Posts: 6291 Join Date: 12/8/18 Recent Posts
When I look at a white door reflecting light I see green and yellow spots all over the place, not just in the center. Maybe you're supposed to direct your gaze narrowly rather than seeing with a wider awareness to do the experiment as instructed. Fuck that!