Concentration Meditation Log

Life's Playground, modified 1 Month ago.

Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 13 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/1/21:

So, my current belief is that concentration meditation is the shit. It allows me to proceed through reality so smoothly.

I really think it is the key to me getting all the material things I want, and then from that position I can move into proper insight meditation, spiritual retreats, etc.

Today my brain was scattered because I didn't meditate for 3 days :o

Was only able to focus for 10 min of meditation, with the thinking brain overpowering my focus.

I am going to bed early tonight, to hopefully wake up early and start the day off by meditating emoticon
George S, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 1546 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent Posts
Correct, except for the bit about getting all the material things you want unfortunately! emoticon
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Pasadika Sutta (DN 29)

The Pleasures of the Holy Life

“Cunda, I don’t teach you the Dhamma only for the restraint of effluents in the present life, nor do I teach you the Dhamma only for the warding off of effluents in the afterlife. I teach you the Dhamma both for the restraint of effluents in the present life and for the warding off of effluents in the afterlife.

“Therefore, the robe I have allowed you is enough simply to counteract cold, to counteract heat, to counteract the touch of flies, mosquitoes, wind, sun, & reptiles; simply for the purpose of covering the parts of the body that cause shame.

“The alms food I have allowed you is enough simply for the survival & continuance of this body, for ending its afflictions, for the support of the holy life, thinking, ‘Thus will I destroy old feelings (of hunger) and not create new feelings (from overeating). I will maintain myself, be blameless, & live in comfort.’

“The lodgings I have allowed you are enough simply to counteract cold, to counteract heat, to counteract the touch of flies, mosquitoes, wind, sun, & reptiles; simply for protection from the inclemencies of weather and for the enjoyment of seclusion.

“The medicinal requisites used for curing the sick that I have allowed you are enough simply to counteract any pains of illness that have arisen and for maximum freedom from disease.

“Now, it’s possible, Cunda, that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘The Sakyan-son contemplatives live devoted to the devotion to pleasure.’ When they are saying that, the wanderers of other sects should be told, ‘Which devotion to pleasure, friends?—for devotion to pleasure has many modes, many permutations.’8

“There are four devotions to pleasure, Cunda, that are base, vulgar, common, ignoble, unprofitable, that do not lead to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calming, direct knowledge, self-awakening, or unbinding. Which four?

“There is the case where a certain fool finds pleasure & rapture for himself in killing living beings. This is the first devotion to pleasure.

“Further, there is the case where a certain person finds pleasure & rapture for himself in taking what is not given. This is the second devotion to pleasure.

“Further, there is the case where a certain person finds pleasure & rapture for himself in telling lies. This is the third devotion to pleasure.

“Further, there is the case where a certain person goes about endowed & provided with the five strings of sensuality. This is the fourth devotion to pleasure.

“These are the four devotions to pleasure, Cunda, that are base, vulgar, common, ignoble, unprofitable, that do not lead to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calming, direct knowledge, self-awakening, or unbinding.

“Now, it’s possible that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘The Sakyan-son contemplatives live devoted to these four devotions to pleasure.’ They are to be told, ‘Not so!’ They would not be speaking rightly of you. They would be slandering you with what is unfactual & untrue.

“There are four devotions to pleasure, Cunda, that lead exclusively to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calming, direct knowledge, self-awakening, & unbinding. Which four?

“There is the case where a monk, quite secluded from sensuality, secluded from unskillful qualities, enters & remains in the first jhāna: rapture & pleasure born of seclusion, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation. This is the first devotion to pleasure.

“Further, Cunda, with the stilling of directed thoughts & evaluations, the monk enters & remains in the second jhāna: rapture & pleasure born of concentration, unification of awareness free from directed thought & evaluation—internal assurance. This is the second devotion to pleasure.

“Further, Cunda, with the fading of rapture, the monk remains equanimous, mindful, & alert, and senses pleasure with the body. He enters & remains in the third jhāna, of which the noble ones declare, ‘Equanimous & mindful, he has a pleasant abiding.’ This is the third devotion to pleasure.

“Further, Cunda, with the abandoning of pleasure & pain—as with the earlier disappearance of elation & distress—the monk enters & remains in the fourth jhāna: purity of equanimity & mindfulness, neither pleasure nor pain. This is the fourth devotion to pleasure.

“These are the four devotions to pleasure that lead exclusively to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calming, direct knowledge, self-awakening, & unbinding.

“Now, it’s possible, Cunda, that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘The Sakyan-son contemplatives live devoted to these four devotions to pleasure.’ They are to be told, ‘That is so!’ They would be speaking rightly of you. They would not be slandering you with what is unfactual & untrue.

“It’s possible that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘Living devoted to these four devotions to pleasure, friends, what fruits, what rewards can be expected?’

“The wanderers of other sects saying that are to be told, ‘Living devoted to these four devotions to pleasure, friends, four fruits, four rewards can be expected. Which four?

“‘Friends, there is the case where a monk, with the wasting away of (the first) three fetters, is a stream-enterer, certain, never again destined for the lower realms, headed for self-awakening. This is the first fruit, the first reward.

“‘Further, friends, the monk—with the wasting away of (the first) three fetters, and with the attenuation of passion, aversion, & delusion—is a once-returner; who, on returning only once more to this world, will make an ending to stress. This is the second fruit, the second reward.

“‘Further, the monk—with the wasting away of the five lower fetters—is due to arise spontaneously (in the Pure Abodes), there to totally unbind, destined never again to return from that world. This is the third fruit, the third reward.

“‘Further, the monk—with the ending of effluents—enters & remains in the effluent-free awareness-release & discernment-release, having directly known & realized it for himself right in the here & now.

“‘Living devoted to these four devotions to pleasure, friends, these four fruits, these four rewards can be expected.’

“Now, it’s possible, Cunda, that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘The Sakan-son contemplatives live without an established Dhamma.’ The wanderers of other sects saying that should be told, ‘There are, friends, Dhammas taught & formulated by the Blessed One—the one who knows, the one who sees, worthy, & rightly self-awakened—that are not to be transgressed throughout life. Just like a gate post or iron post that is deeply buried, well-planted, immovable, unshakable, in the same way there are Dhammas taught & formulated by the Blessed One—the one who knows, the one who sees, worthy, & rightly self-awakened—that are not to be transgressed throughout life.

“‘Friends, an arahant monk whose effluents are ended, who has reached fulfillment, done the task, laid down the burden, attained the true goal, totally destroyed the fetter of becoming, and who is released through right gnosis, cannot possibly transgress nine principles:

“‘[1] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to intentionally deprive a living being of life. [2] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to take, in the manner of stealing, what is not given. [3] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to engage in sexual intercourse. [4] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to tell a conscious lie. [5] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to consume stored-up sensual things as he did before, when he was a householder.

“‘[6] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to follow a bias based on desire. [7] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to follow a bias based on aversion. [8] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to follow a bias based on fear. [9] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to follow a bias based on delusion.

“‘An arahant monk whose effluents are ended, who has reached fulfillment, done the task, laid down the burden, attained the true goal, totally destroyed the fetter of becoming, and who is released through right gnosis, cannot possibly transgress nine principles.’
Life's Playground, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 13 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/5/21:

The last few days have been filled with scattered action. Some of the projects I'm currently working on require frequent & sporadic phone calls to touch base. This means it's easy to get "sucked into" my phone and the digital world of social media.

I am definitely looking for a way to balance my training in morality with my concentration and insight goals. It truly is quite crazy how exceptional access concentration abilities can slip away from me so quickly.

Thus, I'm setting an intention right now, to avoid using my laptop or phone until I've done 10 minutes of concentration meditation in the morning. I'd also like to have a consistent daily wake up time, that is early, because I feel that I've been oversleeping.

I basically want a morning routine that covers all the basic habits for me to at the very least maintain my current attainments, and serve as a stable foundation to progress.

Today, I was finally able to set aside sometime, to put on hold my distracting thoughts and get some cultivation of access concentration.

I did a kriya yoga meditation (something that helps me get started when my brain is truly scattered) followed by 15 minutes of concentration meditaiton and 1 cycle of wim hof.

I also want to resume exercising as well, so I'm going to do some yoga right after this.

I have some basic daily habits I want to instill in myself, and I'll shed more detail on these later.

For the most part it is...

DAILY:
10 min concentration meditation
Some form of exercise
Journal Here
Vocal Warmup
Record one practice video (because I'm working on my youtube)
Talk to 5 new people
Nighttime journal and outcome-setting

I think these habits will put me on a momentum streak to maintain and accelerate my material life as well as attainments.

I will track these habits daily in a spreadsheet.

It truly is crazy how much of a difference even 10 min of meditation can make for my presence, and ability to move through material reality gracefully.
Life's Playground, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 13 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
 3/6/21:
7:30PM

Today I meditated in total for about 1 hour, doing 2 cycles of wim hof breathing as well.

I was able to quiet my mind to deeper levels of concentration than yesterday, however I am definitely still scattered with the number of calls I have to do everyday in order to keep things progressing properly in the material world.

I think that waking up early would be of big help to me, so tonight I can hopefully go to bed earlier.

Overall though, it feels good to have reclaimed some of my access concentration abilities, and I feel good about my current underlying momentum when it comes to creating content and succeeding with my business ventures.

I am reading one MCTB chapter per morning, and it has given me some mental stability to understand the balance between the morality, concentration, and wisdom pursuits. Understanding that they are all a balance and interlinked is very helpful to me.

Anyways, I'm off to have dinner with a model so this should be fun :p


 
Life's Playground, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 13 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/8/21:
8:08PM

So, yesterday I didn't meditate, as I woke up late, and then was very low energy because I drank the night before. I've decided to make a commitment to no longer oversleeping. I'm not sure how this habit started, but I am currently sleeping 11 hours a night, for pretty much no reason than I can discern.

And while it is nice to sleep, I simply don't seem to have enough time to cultivate concentration and calmness if I don't get up early. I'm about to go on a big international trip, where I won't get much sleep, so I want a system to wake up earlier than everyone else to get in some meditation.

As written in MCTB, one minute of completely dialed-in concentration meditation is worth more than 30 minutes of thought-filled "sitting". I realize that, and the only way to be able to reach access concentration quickly + consistently is if I make it a priority to cultivate the state.

Today I sat for roughly 1 hour, doing 2 cycles of wim hof meditation, but to be quite honest my meditation was quite scattered. I got up numerous times and did things or wrote things down. I was able to reach a much calmer state with a good mood, as today was somewhat of a "thought-controlled" day, and now after meditating I feel as I am in control and not the thought-stream.

I followed up meditation with a 23 minute yoga session that honestly felt great, I was very immersed in it, more so than usual.

I have decided that tonight onward, I am going to set multiple alarms before I go to bed, aiming for 8 hours of sleep per night because I should be able to adapt to that. I believe in my human body's capability to adapt to that if I simply just do it for a couple months straight. So, ill set 1 alarms right now, one for 7:30AM and the other for 8AM. I'll take a caffeine pill at 7:30AM, and hopefully wake up with energy at 8AM. This is a stop gap solution, but for now I really don't have any other option, as sleep is ruling my life at the moment. I'd rather be addicted to caffeine and calm + focused most days than oversleeping and having to deal with the stress of not meditating first thing in the morning.

This journal keeps me accountable, and I've very appreciative of it, because I am anonymous and can express myself candidly emoticon

Next up, is my vocal warm up, which is kind of a meditation of its own.

Hope everyone is making progress with their practices emoticon

Never forget. Material reality is a playground, as is spiritual reality. Remeber to have fun with both ;)
Life's Playground, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 13 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/10/21:So today I was in a bit of a rush due to the fact that I am leaving for vacation today and made the decision to not pack until last minute lol.
I went to bed earlier than normal, at midnight, and set my alarm for 6:30AM and 7:00AM. I took my morning caffeine pill at 7:00AM, and thankfully was able to get up on time. To be honest, in many ways I feel better averaging 6 hours of sleep over the last 2 days than when I was sleeping 11 hours a night. It feels like I am living a life at least, and on a mission.
In terms of meditation, after the hustle and bustle of this morning, I was able to get some meditation in once I got through TSA. I sat there for 10-25 minutes and calmed myself down. I was able to do one cycle on Wim hof breathing as well.
I want to do active meditation on this trip whenever possible, maybe listening to hypnosis tapes as well.
For me to really get situated, I’m going to want to get up earlier than everyone else to do meditation and yoga, and be super on top of it, diving into it the second that I wake up emoticon
I can do this, and take deep breathes throughout the day will help as well.
Life's Playground, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 13 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
 3/11/21:
9:50AM

The trip is panning out well so far. Yesterday was definitely a more stressful day than normal due to the last minute packing situation that I threw myself into. I'm realizing that in the future I want to do a better job of just starting to pack the night before, to avoid the stress. Thankfully there were no hiccups at the airport, besides getting stopped at customs lol.

The house I have rented for this group vacation is awesome. It is interesting thinking about the fact of it's impernance... it's a thought that I tried to avoid at first, but I think the fact that I recognize it's impernant coupled with analysis and strategy will make me make the most out of the trip even moreso.

Last night, I didn't really set an alarm. The next few days I want to see if I can wake up earlier than everyone else, maybe around 8AM, and that way I have extra time to meditate. I know I am capable of this emoticon

Today, I got 5 minutes of fairly solid access concentration, followed by one cycle of wim hof. I'd like to do some more for sure, but we have group breakfast. I really want to keep bringing the energy this whole trip, and journaling is a key way to do that so I can accept yesterday's results, and move forward, treating each day as a new opportunity, which it truly is.

I love the feeling of presence emoticon
 
Life's Playground, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 13 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
 3/17/21:

Today was my first day back since the trip. I was quite drained from the trip overall. 

I slept a solid 9 hours last night, after sleeping probably an average of 4 hours/night on the trip. I realized that at that level of sleep, I can manage for about 3-4 days max, before my discipline sacrifices significantly.

It's funny, reading over the journal I wrote 6 days ago, with a desire to get up early... haha, that didn't really work out, because I wasn't going to bed early. It's hard to go to bed early when so much cool things are happening, but I definitley need to have the discipline to call it a night at a certain point, making a small sacrifice in my own enjoyment for the benefit of everyone else.

I meditated for about 30 minutes today, and it was somewhat a thought-filled meditation. I did one cycle of wim hof as well, and then later did yoga, which really freed up a lot of tension. I am excited to dive deeper into meditaiton, because I sacrificed the practice on this trip and could have been at a higher operating level quite easily. Although I did have very limited anxiety and panic during the trip, considering how it went.

I was also able to figure out ways to get some alone time and meditation even while on the move. One thing I found quite effective was to write small journals when I needed to move on from something. So, it was good to develop that skill set.

I would like to keep cultivating presence, because if I can clear my mind, I can manifest some very cool results for myself.

But unnecessarily sacrificing sleep and meditation is pointless, especially if it's to stay up late.

To some degree I rekindled some inspiration on this trip though, and I like that.

​​​​​​​Hopefully I can meditate more today emoticon







 
Life's Playground, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 13 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
 3/19/21:
After being flooded with calls yesterday, today I was able to take a "me day" and get back on track with my practice.

I did some thought-filled meditation for about 30 minutes, then doing one cycle of wim hof and then listening to a 28 minute guided hypnosis audio.

I also did 20 minutes of yoga just now. The yoga is fantastic for me. It relaxes my mind and my body, and in fact since I resumed the yoga practice, my long-time shoulder pain has been reduced drastically.

Operating in the real world is difficult for me in many ways. I feel as though I have insane potential... I've always felt that way. But I never had the proper support or encouragement. Finding people that are encouraging is a blessing. And I'd like to be that for other people.

That's why I hate it so much when jealousy and negativity are often my first reactions to other people's successes. I wish that wasn't the case.

I understand that attachment is not love. I understand that it is very possible that I don't even know what love is.

And until I find love for myself and true self esteem... putting myself out there with youtube videos and music will be challenging.

At the same time though... I'm alive. and I have options with which actions I can take each day. I've learned well enough that there is no solution to all problems in a single day.

I can learn something new everyday. And I can change something every day. And over time, those things will add up.

I need to make more money. and I have a project I'm working on that will make me money, but I still need a little chunk of money right now to work on other projects. It's just so hard... with my anxiety and fears, to be confident in every area of my life.

That's why I seek out escapes. I like feeling significant. I like being looked up to. But it's bad when I put that over making actual progress in myself. This is why I've stopped coaching others as much. I can definitely help them, but I still need so much help.

This is why concentration meditation is my only real savoir that I see. This is why I'm here. I can cultivate focus and cultivate loving awareness with concentration meditation. And those are the things I need.

That's why it's a priority. Yes, others may not have to do it. But it's the path that I'm on, and it will bring me things that 99.9999% of others won't get.

It's worth it, and I have to have the discipline to put myself over others. Put validation from myself over the validation of others. That's what has me feeling off right now, I tried so hard to get the validation of others. and I'm still trying. But once I get it, I won't care about it. It's just a game that has me sucked into it. Beating the game, means I will just move onto a different challenge. And that's not real love.

And that's not how people should be treated. I want to be for others, what I never had. A source of positive encouragement, especially for friends.

That's what I want my creative efforts (film, photography, & music) to be about. Recognizing that there are no real limits. It's all just an illusion. And reality can be whatever you want it to be. There's no limit to the amount of fun and positive emotions you can experience. 

I want to embody that. That's my purpose here.

And I currently place limits on my own happiness. I self-sabotage and create anxiety and blocks around things going well for me. I hold myself back in many ways.

Letting go, of all this, is what I want to learn.

Full expressive abilities. I dedicate myself everyday.

Photography > Video > Music

That's the order of my progression. All whilst maintaining my spiritual angle.
 
George S, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 1546 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent Posts
This is why concentration meditation is my only real savoir that I see.

Honestly I think you have your hopes set too high for meditation. Have you tried therapy?
Life's Playground, modified 28 Days ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 13 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
A few things here. These journals are quite rambly and lack significant context. To be honest, I am just trying to resume the journaling habit, and as I get on top of things in my life, my writing style will likely improve, and make more sense.

I've meditated 70-80% of days for about 6 years now. I mainly started meditating consistently due to a significant life trauma event.

I have a history of anxiety in my family, and used to have frequent panic attacks at a certain point when I was 18-19.

A lot of my anxiety comes from acne. I had unpredictable cystic acne. Imagine having a presentation that you have prepped for, and then all the sudden a quarter-sized bump pops up on your face. Or you have a date with a girl you've liked for months. Basically it caused me to have very fluctuating levels of confidence. A very weird identity. Now my skin is finally clear, due to use of accutane, and I have a more stable ground for myself in that regard.

I've found that I've been able to have the best mental states and most deep control over external reality, when I'm meditating consistently every day, and reading before bed.

Longer lengths of concentration meditation in particular, have demonstrated superpower like abilities, at least in my generation. Such as, abilities to maintain focus for 8 hours straight, finishing a 300 page book in one day.

This might not seem impressive, but since I'm heavily involved in social media, the average person using social media as much as I do can barely focus on any low-stimulus thing for more than 30 seconds.

So, it's not that I'm setting my hopes unreasonably high, as much as I'm just trying to return to and maintain previous levels of focus, confidence, social abilities, that I've had in the past and associated with daily longer length concentration meditations, among other things.

I've been to numerous types of therapies and coachings, and found value in them at times.

In fact, I signed up for a therapist when I was experiencing a lot of financial success, hoping that they would help me manage the success. Overall, they didn't help me very much, and I sabotaged the success. I'm not blaming the therapist, but clearly it wasn't some beacon of hope for me.

I've recognized that all therapy or change, transformation, happens within. I am into hypnosis and NLP, and have used those techniques to find a lot of value. But overall, I don't think any specific therapist or person has the answers I'm looking for. The best therapy a lot of times is just meditating to clear out my thoughts and communicate with a "source energy" of sorts, perhaps the subconscious brain, which is able to effortlessly pierce through my desires and move me towards my outcomes with minimal resistance, overthinking.

Really meditation allows me to get out of my own way. And that's why I value it.

The main issue I experience is that I'm very routine-based. If I miss a day of meditation in the morning, it's very hard to resume the momentum. And it requires a certain schedule/lifestyle to fit it in. When traveling, it is tough to keep a schedule like that, and I want to be more honest and open with others about my meditation, and to simply just do it in the morning, before the people that depend on me are awake.
George S, modified 28 Days ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 1546 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent Posts
Thanks for the background, it’s helpful to understand the context :-)

It’s great that meditation has had such a positive impact on your life. Meditation can be even more powerful in combination with therapy ... but like you say, finding the right therapist can be a challenge. Sometimes they see the problem but you resist it, or sometimes they see you through the distorted lens of their own issues. It’s really hard to tell the difference! I’ve been through periods where I was working with a therapist and periods where I felt like meditation was “doing therapy on myself”, working directly with my subconscious. It’s definitely possible, if you are sensitive to the signals of your own resistance and reactions to other people.

I can really relate to some of the stuff you mention - panic attacks, feelings of great potential combined with self-sabotage, seeking approval and validation. I didn’t start therapy until I was 30 and it took me another 15 years of seeking external validation to make myself depressed enough to start meditating and figure out the root causes of it all!
Martin, modified 1 Month ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 275 Join Date: 4/25/20 Recent Posts
You might want to play around with letting go. You might say try taking some time in which you are not trying to be anything, or become anything, and just see what it is like to give yourself permission to be nothing in particular, just part of the world, like the rocks, and the trees, and the goldfish, and the traffic police. Nothing special. Can be nice to at least have that option. 
Life's Playground, modified 28 Days ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 13 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
I do love this idea. And I'm aware that option exists.

I sometimes fantasize about just letting go of all social media goals, and just focusing on yoga, meditation, and human connection.

I agree that I am too controlling over myself and my image. I'm very naturally judgmental of myself and others. And I have a tendency to talk shit about others, even though I know it is wrong and useless. When I meditate more, I don't do this as much. Part of me thinks I am stuck in a lower level of energy, if you've read Frederick Dodson's "Levels of Energy". And I really have a desire to move up towards unconditional love.

I know there is deep potential for non-attached, unconditional love within me. 

And I know that letting go of the need for approval, the need for validation... is a huge thing for me.

It's like I'm searching for permission for everything I do, and I have a deep fear of doing something wrong, at times.

I'm stuck in the optimization paradigm at times, and this is useful because in business and social media, things can always be better.

And I have obligations, that don't make it as easy.

I know that for me a lot of my spiritual journey is in the material world. There are certain challenges and puzzles for me to solve that I feel were laid out for me in the material world in order to do something with them.

It's kind of like I'm in a video game and I see the main quest being laid out, but I often get sucked into side missions, and avoid completing the main quest. 

And I think I can inspire others to meditate and follow a spiritual path, but I want to do it in a socially relevant way that actually makes sense.
Life's Playground, modified 28 Days ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 13 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/23/21:

Today was a good day for realignment with my practice. I had alarms set for this morning at 7:30AM and 8:00AM, and this woke me up enough to take a caffeine pill and arise around 9:30am, which is good for me. I think that waking up early (and thus going to bed early) to be able to ground myself every morning, is something that I want to prioritize over all else.

I've been filled with thought over the last few days, making significant progress in new business ventures, however at the same time noticed a certain additional reactiveness, that is coming from overattachment to certain relationships.

Detachment from outcome is key, and really brainstorming to know exactly what a win looks like in each relationship. I'm very grateful for the support system that I have and the people I know, but I certainly have done a 180 from being fully independent, to now perhaps over-relying on others. It will be interesting to find the balance between being on top of myself, while also leveraging valuable guidance from my network.

I did a kriya meditation with red light therapy, and this immediately created additional presence in me, allowing me to progress into 20 minutes of less scattered thought concentration meditation. I think this is the best way for me to start my meditations, as the red light is powerful, and it serves as a good baseline, which can channel into longer concentration meditations.

I still haven't done my yoga yet, but I think I will do it now after I finish writing this.

Now I'm going to go ahead and respond to the comments left above emoticon
Life's Playground, modified 26 Days ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 13 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/24/21:

Today was a great recovery day, and I feel I have learned some major truths.

After doing legs at the gym for the first time in a while, I slept about 14 hours yesterday haha.

But, I woke up feeling well-rested, and started my day off by reading some of "Levels of Energy" by Frederick Dodson. It really spoke to my current situation a lot, and I realized that one of my issues is resisting certain emotions and states. Dodson says in the book, "what you resist, you feed" and by resisting things like sadness, anger, tiredness, I'm actually allowing them to control me, instead of just passing through me.

I also realized from the book that taking any action with a root intention of wanting approval from others is just a recipe for failure and a feeling of lack. I understand that me wanting validation from certain people in my life, gives them power over me and creates a lack in myself. The process of letting go of that, is necessary for me to be fulfilled in my day-to-day life, and understanding the impermanence that while relationships can give me love and support, it's important to have abundance in that regard and not feel lack if someone isn't giving me attention.

I meditated in front of the red light, and shortly after did yoga. I then got fairly caught up in a host of things. Getting sucked into digital communication is an issue for me, especially because there are certain messages I don't know how to respond to. It seems that I create an unnecessary stalling at times when I overthink how to respond to things, when in reality if I just know my outcomes and move directly towards them, it's a bit easier.

Anyways, I like how Dodson says that we can temporarily go to different levels of energy, and that it doesn't mean we are stuck there. I think a lot of letting go is in order for me, so practicing it through hypnosis or even just a mental decision to let go, will be useful.

I do feel that my morning routine simply doesn't get done. And that I'd love to just dial it in so I make it something that gets done before I do much else. Not really sure how to do this, other than wake up earlier and set an intention the night before. In fact, one of my biggest things is not writing a nightly journal before bed. So, I'd love to get started on that, maybe I can even write it here...
Life's Playground, modified 26 Days ago.

RE: Concentration Meditation Log

Posts: 13 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/24/21: Night Journal

Things I did well today:
Read some of Levels of Energy book
Went out to socialize with friends
Had a girl over for a date
Got new LLC properly formed
Sent voice message to girl I was nervous about responding to
Attended zoom coaching call
Did short workout
Took a shower
Did full morning routine
Took vitamins
Set alarm for tomorrow
In bed writing this journal
Met two girls & pulled them to my spot
Posted a photo to my photography IG

Things I could have done better:
Done full morning routine right away in order without checking phone
Go out and socialize more often so it's more routine for me

Outcomes for tomorrow:
Do full routine right away in morning
Record a video
Go out and socialize at night
Help my clients on their coaching calls
​​​​​​​Read through acting handbook

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