Concentration Meditation Log - Discussion
Concentration Meditation Log
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 3/2/21 1:04 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/2/21 1:04 AM
Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/1/21:
So, my current belief is that concentration meditation is the shit. It allows me to proceed through reality so smoothly.
I really think it is the key to me getting all the material things I want, and then from that position I can move into proper insight meditation, spiritual retreats, etc.
Today my brain was scattered because I didn't meditate for 3 days :o
Was only able to focus for 10 min of meditation, with the thinking brain overpowering my focus.
I am going to bed early tonight, to hopefully wake up early and start the day off by meditating
So, my current belief is that concentration meditation is the shit. It allows me to proceed through reality so smoothly.
I really think it is the key to me getting all the material things I want, and then from that position I can move into proper insight meditation, spiritual retreats, etc.
Today my brain was scattered because I didn't meditate for 3 days :o
Was only able to focus for 10 min of meditation, with the thinking brain overpowering my focus.
I am going to bed early tonight, to hopefully wake up early and start the day off by meditating
George S, modified 3 Years ago at 3/2/21 8:24 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/2/21 8:21 AM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 2722 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent Posts
Correct, except for the bit about getting all the material things you want unfortunately!
Pasadika Sutta (DN 29)
The Pleasures of the Holy Life
“Cunda, I don’t teach you the Dhamma only for the restraint of effluents in the present life, nor do I teach you the Dhamma only for the warding off of effluents in the afterlife. I teach you the Dhamma both for the restraint of effluents in the present life and for the warding off of effluents in the afterlife.
“Therefore, the robe I have allowed you is enough simply to counteract cold, to counteract heat, to counteract the touch of flies, mosquitoes, wind, sun, & reptiles; simply for the purpose of covering the parts of the body that cause shame.
“The alms food I have allowed you is enough simply for the survival & continuance of this body, for ending its afflictions, for the support of the holy life, thinking, ‘Thus will I destroy old feelings (of hunger) and not create new feelings (from overeating). I will maintain myself, be blameless, & live in comfort.’
“The lodgings I have allowed you are enough simply to counteract cold, to counteract heat, to counteract the touch of flies, mosquitoes, wind, sun, & reptiles; simply for protection from the inclemencies of weather and for the enjoyment of seclusion.
“The medicinal requisites used for curing the sick that I have allowed you are enough simply to counteract any pains of illness that have arisen and for maximum freedom from disease.
“Now, it’s possible, Cunda, that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘The Sakyan-son contemplatives live devoted to the devotion to pleasure.’ When they are saying that, the wanderers of other sects should be told, ‘Which devotion to pleasure, friends?—for devotion to pleasure has many modes, many permutations.’8
“There are four devotions to pleasure, Cunda, that are base, vulgar, common, ignoble, unprofitable, that do not lead to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calming, direct knowledge, self-awakening, or unbinding. Which four?
“There is the case where a certain fool finds pleasure & rapture for himself in killing living beings. This is the first devotion to pleasure.
“Further, there is the case where a certain person finds pleasure & rapture for himself in taking what is not given. This is the second devotion to pleasure.
“Further, there is the case where a certain person finds pleasure & rapture for himself in telling lies. This is the third devotion to pleasure.
“Further, there is the case where a certain person goes about endowed & provided with the five strings of sensuality. This is the fourth devotion to pleasure.
“These are the four devotions to pleasure, Cunda, that are base, vulgar, common, ignoble, unprofitable, that do not lead to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calming, direct knowledge, self-awakening, or unbinding.
“Now, it’s possible that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘The Sakyan-son contemplatives live devoted to these four devotions to pleasure.’ They are to be told, ‘Not so!’ They would not be speaking rightly of you. They would be slandering you with what is unfactual & untrue.
“There are four devotions to pleasure, Cunda, that lead exclusively to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calming, direct knowledge, self-awakening, & unbinding. Which four?
“There is the case where a monk, quite secluded from sensuality, secluded from unskillful qualities, enters & remains in the first jhāna: rapture & pleasure born of seclusion, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation. This is the first devotion to pleasure.
“Further, Cunda, with the stilling of directed thoughts & evaluations, the monk enters & remains in the second jhāna: rapture & pleasure born of concentration, unification of awareness free from directed thought & evaluation—internal assurance. This is the second devotion to pleasure.
“Further, Cunda, with the fading of rapture, the monk remains equanimous, mindful, & alert, and senses pleasure with the body. He enters & remains in the third jhāna, of which the noble ones declare, ‘Equanimous & mindful, he has a pleasant abiding.’ This is the third devotion to pleasure.
“Further, Cunda, with the abandoning of pleasure & pain—as with the earlier disappearance of elation & distress—the monk enters & remains in the fourth jhāna: purity of equanimity & mindfulness, neither pleasure nor pain. This is the fourth devotion to pleasure.
“These are the four devotions to pleasure that lead exclusively to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calming, direct knowledge, self-awakening, & unbinding.
“Now, it’s possible, Cunda, that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘The Sakyan-son contemplatives live devoted to these four devotions to pleasure.’ They are to be told, ‘That is so!’ They would be speaking rightly of you. They would not be slandering you with what is unfactual & untrue.
“It’s possible that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘Living devoted to these four devotions to pleasure, friends, what fruits, what rewards can be expected?’
“The wanderers of other sects saying that are to be told, ‘Living devoted to these four devotions to pleasure, friends, four fruits, four rewards can be expected. Which four?
“‘Friends, there is the case where a monk, with the wasting away of (the first) three fetters, is a stream-enterer, certain, never again destined for the lower realms, headed for self-awakening. This is the first fruit, the first reward.
“‘Further, friends, the monk—with the wasting away of (the first) three fetters, and with the attenuation of passion, aversion, & delusion—is a once-returner; who, on returning only once more to this world, will make an ending to stress. This is the second fruit, the second reward.
“‘Further, the monk—with the wasting away of the five lower fetters—is due to arise spontaneously (in the Pure Abodes), there to totally unbind, destined never again to return from that world. This is the third fruit, the third reward.
“‘Further, the monk—with the ending of effluents—enters & remains in the effluent-free awareness-release & discernment-release, having directly known & realized it for himself right in the here & now.
“‘Living devoted to these four devotions to pleasure, friends, these four fruits, these four rewards can be expected.’
“Now, it’s possible, Cunda, that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘The Sakan-son contemplatives live without an established Dhamma.’ The wanderers of other sects saying that should be told, ‘There are, friends, Dhammas taught & formulated by the Blessed One—the one who knows, the one who sees, worthy, & rightly self-awakened—that are not to be transgressed throughout life. Just like a gate post or iron post that is deeply buried, well-planted, immovable, unshakable, in the same way there are Dhammas taught & formulated by the Blessed One—the one who knows, the one who sees, worthy, & rightly self-awakened—that are not to be transgressed throughout life.
“‘Friends, an arahant monk whose effluents are ended, who has reached fulfillment, done the task, laid down the burden, attained the true goal, totally destroyed the fetter of becoming, and who is released through right gnosis, cannot possibly transgress nine principles:
“‘[1] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to intentionally deprive a living being of life. [2] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to take, in the manner of stealing, what is not given. [3] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to engage in sexual intercourse. [4] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to tell a conscious lie. [5] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to consume stored-up sensual things as he did before, when he was a householder.
“‘[6] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to follow a bias based on desire. [7] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to follow a bias based on aversion. [8] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to follow a bias based on fear. [9] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to follow a bias based on delusion.
“‘An arahant monk whose effluents are ended, who has reached fulfillment, done the task, laid down the burden, attained the true goal, totally destroyed the fetter of becoming, and who is released through right gnosis, cannot possibly transgress nine principles.’
The Pleasures of the Holy Life
“Cunda, I don’t teach you the Dhamma only for the restraint of effluents in the present life, nor do I teach you the Dhamma only for the warding off of effluents in the afterlife. I teach you the Dhamma both for the restraint of effluents in the present life and for the warding off of effluents in the afterlife.
“Therefore, the robe I have allowed you is enough simply to counteract cold, to counteract heat, to counteract the touch of flies, mosquitoes, wind, sun, & reptiles; simply for the purpose of covering the parts of the body that cause shame.
“The alms food I have allowed you is enough simply for the survival & continuance of this body, for ending its afflictions, for the support of the holy life, thinking, ‘Thus will I destroy old feelings (of hunger) and not create new feelings (from overeating). I will maintain myself, be blameless, & live in comfort.’
“The lodgings I have allowed you are enough simply to counteract cold, to counteract heat, to counteract the touch of flies, mosquitoes, wind, sun, & reptiles; simply for protection from the inclemencies of weather and for the enjoyment of seclusion.
“The medicinal requisites used for curing the sick that I have allowed you are enough simply to counteract any pains of illness that have arisen and for maximum freedom from disease.
“Now, it’s possible, Cunda, that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘The Sakyan-son contemplatives live devoted to the devotion to pleasure.’ When they are saying that, the wanderers of other sects should be told, ‘Which devotion to pleasure, friends?—for devotion to pleasure has many modes, many permutations.’8
“There are four devotions to pleasure, Cunda, that are base, vulgar, common, ignoble, unprofitable, that do not lead to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calming, direct knowledge, self-awakening, or unbinding. Which four?
“There is the case where a certain fool finds pleasure & rapture for himself in killing living beings. This is the first devotion to pleasure.
“Further, there is the case where a certain person finds pleasure & rapture for himself in taking what is not given. This is the second devotion to pleasure.
“Further, there is the case where a certain person finds pleasure & rapture for himself in telling lies. This is the third devotion to pleasure.
“Further, there is the case where a certain person goes about endowed & provided with the five strings of sensuality. This is the fourth devotion to pleasure.
“These are the four devotions to pleasure, Cunda, that are base, vulgar, common, ignoble, unprofitable, that do not lead to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calming, direct knowledge, self-awakening, or unbinding.
“Now, it’s possible that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘The Sakyan-son contemplatives live devoted to these four devotions to pleasure.’ They are to be told, ‘Not so!’ They would not be speaking rightly of you. They would be slandering you with what is unfactual & untrue.
“There are four devotions to pleasure, Cunda, that lead exclusively to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calming, direct knowledge, self-awakening, & unbinding. Which four?
“There is the case where a monk, quite secluded from sensuality, secluded from unskillful qualities, enters & remains in the first jhāna: rapture & pleasure born of seclusion, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation. This is the first devotion to pleasure.
“Further, Cunda, with the stilling of directed thoughts & evaluations, the monk enters & remains in the second jhāna: rapture & pleasure born of concentration, unification of awareness free from directed thought & evaluation—internal assurance. This is the second devotion to pleasure.
“Further, Cunda, with the fading of rapture, the monk remains equanimous, mindful, & alert, and senses pleasure with the body. He enters & remains in the third jhāna, of which the noble ones declare, ‘Equanimous & mindful, he has a pleasant abiding.’ This is the third devotion to pleasure.
“Further, Cunda, with the abandoning of pleasure & pain—as with the earlier disappearance of elation & distress—the monk enters & remains in the fourth jhāna: purity of equanimity & mindfulness, neither pleasure nor pain. This is the fourth devotion to pleasure.
“These are the four devotions to pleasure that lead exclusively to disenchantment, dispassion, cessation, calming, direct knowledge, self-awakening, & unbinding.
“Now, it’s possible, Cunda, that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘The Sakyan-son contemplatives live devoted to these four devotions to pleasure.’ They are to be told, ‘That is so!’ They would be speaking rightly of you. They would not be slandering you with what is unfactual & untrue.
“It’s possible that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘Living devoted to these four devotions to pleasure, friends, what fruits, what rewards can be expected?’
“The wanderers of other sects saying that are to be told, ‘Living devoted to these four devotions to pleasure, friends, four fruits, four rewards can be expected. Which four?
“‘Friends, there is the case where a monk, with the wasting away of (the first) three fetters, is a stream-enterer, certain, never again destined for the lower realms, headed for self-awakening. This is the first fruit, the first reward.
“‘Further, friends, the monk—with the wasting away of (the first) three fetters, and with the attenuation of passion, aversion, & delusion—is a once-returner; who, on returning only once more to this world, will make an ending to stress. This is the second fruit, the second reward.
“‘Further, the monk—with the wasting away of the five lower fetters—is due to arise spontaneously (in the Pure Abodes), there to totally unbind, destined never again to return from that world. This is the third fruit, the third reward.
“‘Further, the monk—with the ending of effluents—enters & remains in the effluent-free awareness-release & discernment-release, having directly known & realized it for himself right in the here & now.
“‘Living devoted to these four devotions to pleasure, friends, these four fruits, these four rewards can be expected.’
“Now, it’s possible, Cunda, that wanderers of other sects might say, ‘The Sakan-son contemplatives live without an established Dhamma.’ The wanderers of other sects saying that should be told, ‘There are, friends, Dhammas taught & formulated by the Blessed One—the one who knows, the one who sees, worthy, & rightly self-awakened—that are not to be transgressed throughout life. Just like a gate post or iron post that is deeply buried, well-planted, immovable, unshakable, in the same way there are Dhammas taught & formulated by the Blessed One—the one who knows, the one who sees, worthy, & rightly self-awakened—that are not to be transgressed throughout life.
“‘Friends, an arahant monk whose effluents are ended, who has reached fulfillment, done the task, laid down the burden, attained the true goal, totally destroyed the fetter of becoming, and who is released through right gnosis, cannot possibly transgress nine principles:
“‘[1] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to intentionally deprive a living being of life. [2] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to take, in the manner of stealing, what is not given. [3] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to engage in sexual intercourse. [4] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to tell a conscious lie. [5] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to consume stored-up sensual things as he did before, when he was a householder.
“‘[6] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to follow a bias based on desire. [7] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to follow a bias based on aversion. [8] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to follow a bias based on fear. [9] It is impossible for a monk whose effluents are ended to follow a bias based on delusion.
“‘An arahant monk whose effluents are ended, who has reached fulfillment, done the task, laid down the burden, attained the true goal, totally destroyed the fetter of becoming, and who is released through right gnosis, cannot possibly transgress nine principles.’
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 3/5/21 9:53 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/5/21 9:53 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/5/21:
The last few days have been filled with scattered action. Some of the projects I'm currently working on require frequent & sporadic phone calls to touch base. This means it's easy to get "sucked into" my phone and the digital world of social media.
I am definitely looking for a way to balance my training in morality with my concentration and insight goals. It truly is quite crazy how exceptional access concentration abilities can slip away from me so quickly.
Thus, I'm setting an intention right now, to avoid using my laptop or phone until I've done 10 minutes of concentration meditation in the morning. I'd also like to have a consistent daily wake up time, that is early, because I feel that I've been oversleeping.
I basically want a morning routine that covers all the basic habits for me to at the very least maintain my current attainments, and serve as a stable foundation to progress.
Today, I was finally able to set aside sometime, to put on hold my distracting thoughts and get some cultivation of access concentration.
I did a kriya yoga meditation (something that helps me get started when my brain is truly scattered) followed by 15 minutes of concentration meditaiton and 1 cycle of wim hof.
I also want to resume exercising as well, so I'm going to do some yoga right after this.
I have some basic daily habits I want to instill in myself, and I'll shed more detail on these later.
For the most part it is...
DAILY:
10 min concentration meditation
Some form of exercise
Journal Here
Vocal Warmup
Record one practice video (because I'm working on my youtube)
Talk to 5 new people
Nighttime journal and outcome-setting
I think these habits will put me on a momentum streak to maintain and accelerate my material life as well as attainments.
I will track these habits daily in a spreadsheet.
It truly is crazy how much of a difference even 10 min of meditation can make for my presence, and ability to move through material reality gracefully.
The last few days have been filled with scattered action. Some of the projects I'm currently working on require frequent & sporadic phone calls to touch base. This means it's easy to get "sucked into" my phone and the digital world of social media.
I am definitely looking for a way to balance my training in morality with my concentration and insight goals. It truly is quite crazy how exceptional access concentration abilities can slip away from me so quickly.
Thus, I'm setting an intention right now, to avoid using my laptop or phone until I've done 10 minutes of concentration meditation in the morning. I'd also like to have a consistent daily wake up time, that is early, because I feel that I've been oversleeping.
I basically want a morning routine that covers all the basic habits for me to at the very least maintain my current attainments, and serve as a stable foundation to progress.
Today, I was finally able to set aside sometime, to put on hold my distracting thoughts and get some cultivation of access concentration.
I did a kriya yoga meditation (something that helps me get started when my brain is truly scattered) followed by 15 minutes of concentration meditaiton and 1 cycle of wim hof.
I also want to resume exercising as well, so I'm going to do some yoga right after this.
I have some basic daily habits I want to instill in myself, and I'll shed more detail on these later.
For the most part it is...
DAILY:
10 min concentration meditation
Some form of exercise
Journal Here
Vocal Warmup
Record one practice video (because I'm working on my youtube)
Talk to 5 new people
Nighttime journal and outcome-setting
I think these habits will put me on a momentum streak to maintain and accelerate my material life as well as attainments.
I will track these habits daily in a spreadsheet.
It truly is crazy how much of a difference even 10 min of meditation can make for my presence, and ability to move through material reality gracefully.
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 3/6/21 9:34 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/6/21 9:34 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/6/21:
7:30PM
Today I meditated in total for about 1 hour, doing 2 cycles of wim hof breathing as well.
I was able to quiet my mind to deeper levels of concentration than yesterday, however I am definitely still scattered with the number of calls I have to do everyday in order to keep things progressing properly in the material world.
I think that waking up early would be of big help to me, so tonight I can hopefully go to bed earlier.
Overall though, it feels good to have reclaimed some of my access concentration abilities, and I feel good about my current underlying momentum when it comes to creating content and succeeding with my business ventures.
I am reading one MCTB chapter per morning, and it has given me some mental stability to understand the balance between the morality, concentration, and wisdom pursuits. Understanding that they are all a balance and interlinked is very helpful to me.
Anyways, I'm off to have dinner with a model so this should be fun :p
7:30PM
Today I meditated in total for about 1 hour, doing 2 cycles of wim hof breathing as well.
I was able to quiet my mind to deeper levels of concentration than yesterday, however I am definitely still scattered with the number of calls I have to do everyday in order to keep things progressing properly in the material world.
I think that waking up early would be of big help to me, so tonight I can hopefully go to bed earlier.
Overall though, it feels good to have reclaimed some of my access concentration abilities, and I feel good about my current underlying momentum when it comes to creating content and succeeding with my business ventures.
I am reading one MCTB chapter per morning, and it has given me some mental stability to understand the balance between the morality, concentration, and wisdom pursuits. Understanding that they are all a balance and interlinked is very helpful to me.
Anyways, I'm off to have dinner with a model so this should be fun :p
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 3/8/21 10:20 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/8/21 10:20 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/8/21:
8:08PM
So, yesterday I didn't meditate, as I woke up late, and then was very low energy because I drank the night before. I've decided to make a commitment to no longer oversleeping. I'm not sure how this habit started, but I am currently sleeping 11 hours a night, for pretty much no reason than I can discern.
And while it is nice to sleep, I simply don't seem to have enough time to cultivate concentration and calmness if I don't get up early. I'm about to go on a big international trip, where I won't get much sleep, so I want a system to wake up earlier than everyone else to get in some meditation.
As written in MCTB, one minute of completely dialed-in concentration meditation is worth more than 30 minutes of thought-filled "sitting". I realize that, and the only way to be able to reach access concentration quickly + consistently is if I make it a priority to cultivate the state.
Today I sat for roughly 1 hour, doing 2 cycles of wim hof meditation, but to be quite honest my meditation was quite scattered. I got up numerous times and did things or wrote things down. I was able to reach a much calmer state with a good mood, as today was somewhat of a "thought-controlled" day, and now after meditating I feel as I am in control and not the thought-stream.
I followed up meditation with a 23 minute yoga session that honestly felt great, I was very immersed in it, more so than usual.
I have decided that tonight onward, I am going to set multiple alarms before I go to bed, aiming for 8 hours of sleep per night because I should be able to adapt to that. I believe in my human body's capability to adapt to that if I simply just do it for a couple months straight. So, ill set 1 alarms right now, one for 7:30AM and the other for 8AM. I'll take a caffeine pill at 7:30AM, and hopefully wake up with energy at 8AM. This is a stop gap solution, but for now I really don't have any other option, as sleep is ruling my life at the moment. I'd rather be addicted to caffeine and calm + focused most days than oversleeping and having to deal with the stress of not meditating first thing in the morning.
This journal keeps me accountable, and I've very appreciative of it, because I am anonymous and can express myself candidly
Next up, is my vocal warm up, which is kind of a meditation of its own.
Hope everyone is making progress with their practices
Never forget. Material reality is a playground, as is spiritual reality. Remeber to have fun with both ;)
8:08PM
So, yesterday I didn't meditate, as I woke up late, and then was very low energy because I drank the night before. I've decided to make a commitment to no longer oversleeping. I'm not sure how this habit started, but I am currently sleeping 11 hours a night, for pretty much no reason than I can discern.
And while it is nice to sleep, I simply don't seem to have enough time to cultivate concentration and calmness if I don't get up early. I'm about to go on a big international trip, where I won't get much sleep, so I want a system to wake up earlier than everyone else to get in some meditation.
As written in MCTB, one minute of completely dialed-in concentration meditation is worth more than 30 minutes of thought-filled "sitting". I realize that, and the only way to be able to reach access concentration quickly + consistently is if I make it a priority to cultivate the state.
Today I sat for roughly 1 hour, doing 2 cycles of wim hof meditation, but to be quite honest my meditation was quite scattered. I got up numerous times and did things or wrote things down. I was able to reach a much calmer state with a good mood, as today was somewhat of a "thought-controlled" day, and now after meditating I feel as I am in control and not the thought-stream.
I followed up meditation with a 23 minute yoga session that honestly felt great, I was very immersed in it, more so than usual.
I have decided that tonight onward, I am going to set multiple alarms before I go to bed, aiming for 8 hours of sleep per night because I should be able to adapt to that. I believe in my human body's capability to adapt to that if I simply just do it for a couple months straight. So, ill set 1 alarms right now, one for 7:30AM and the other for 8AM. I'll take a caffeine pill at 7:30AM, and hopefully wake up with energy at 8AM. This is a stop gap solution, but for now I really don't have any other option, as sleep is ruling my life at the moment. I'd rather be addicted to caffeine and calm + focused most days than oversleeping and having to deal with the stress of not meditating first thing in the morning.
This journal keeps me accountable, and I've very appreciative of it, because I am anonymous and can express myself candidly
Next up, is my vocal warm up, which is kind of a meditation of its own.
Hope everyone is making progress with their practices
Never forget. Material reality is a playground, as is spiritual reality. Remeber to have fun with both ;)
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 3/11/21 8:54 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/11/21 8:54 AM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/10/21:So today I was in a bit of a rush due to the fact that I am leaving for vacation today and made the decision to not pack until last minute lol.
I went to bed earlier than normal, at midnight, and set my alarm for 6:30AM and 7:00AM. I took my morning caffeine pill at 7:00AM, and thankfully was able to get up on time. To be honest, in many ways I feel better averaging 6 hours of sleep over the last 2 days than when I was sleeping 11 hours a night. It feels like I am living a life at least, and on a mission.
In terms of meditation, after the hustle and bustle of this morning, I was able to get some meditation in once I got through TSA. I sat there for 10-25 minutes and calmed myself down. I was able to do one cycle on Wim hof breathing as well.
I want to do active meditation on this trip whenever possible, maybe listening to hypnosis tapes as well.
For me to really get situated, I’m going to want to get up earlier than everyone else to do meditation and yoga, and be super on top of it, diving into it the second that I wake up
I can do this, and take deep breathes throughout the day will help as well.
I went to bed earlier than normal, at midnight, and set my alarm for 6:30AM and 7:00AM. I took my morning caffeine pill at 7:00AM, and thankfully was able to get up on time. To be honest, in many ways I feel better averaging 6 hours of sleep over the last 2 days than when I was sleeping 11 hours a night. It feels like I am living a life at least, and on a mission.
In terms of meditation, after the hustle and bustle of this morning, I was able to get some meditation in once I got through TSA. I sat there for 10-25 minutes and calmed myself down. I was able to do one cycle on Wim hof breathing as well.
I want to do active meditation on this trip whenever possible, maybe listening to hypnosis tapes as well.
For me to really get situated, I’m going to want to get up earlier than everyone else to do meditation and yoga, and be super on top of it, diving into it the second that I wake up
I can do this, and take deep breathes throughout the day will help as well.
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 3/11/21 8:59 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/11/21 8:59 AM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/11/21:
9:50AM
The trip is panning out well so far. Yesterday was definitely a more stressful day than normal due to the last minute packing situation that I threw myself into. I'm realizing that in the future I want to do a better job of just starting to pack the night before, to avoid the stress. Thankfully there were no hiccups at the airport, besides getting stopped at customs lol.
The house I have rented for this group vacation is awesome. It is interesting thinking about the fact of it's impernance... it's a thought that I tried to avoid at first, but I think the fact that I recognize it's impernant coupled with analysis and strategy will make me make the most out of the trip even moreso.
Last night, I didn't really set an alarm. The next few days I want to see if I can wake up earlier than everyone else, maybe around 8AM, and that way I have extra time to meditate. I know I am capable of this
Today, I got 5 minutes of fairly solid access concentration, followed by one cycle of wim hof. I'd like to do some more for sure, but we have group breakfast. I really want to keep bringing the energy this whole trip, and journaling is a key way to do that so I can accept yesterday's results, and move forward, treating each day as a new opportunity, which it truly is.
I love the feeling of presence
9:50AM
The trip is panning out well so far. Yesterday was definitely a more stressful day than normal due to the last minute packing situation that I threw myself into. I'm realizing that in the future I want to do a better job of just starting to pack the night before, to avoid the stress. Thankfully there were no hiccups at the airport, besides getting stopped at customs lol.
The house I have rented for this group vacation is awesome. It is interesting thinking about the fact of it's impernance... it's a thought that I tried to avoid at first, but I think the fact that I recognize it's impernant coupled with analysis and strategy will make me make the most out of the trip even moreso.
Last night, I didn't really set an alarm. The next few days I want to see if I can wake up earlier than everyone else, maybe around 8AM, and that way I have extra time to meditate. I know I am capable of this
Today, I got 5 minutes of fairly solid access concentration, followed by one cycle of wim hof. I'd like to do some more for sure, but we have group breakfast. I really want to keep bringing the energy this whole trip, and journaling is a key way to do that so I can accept yesterday's results, and move forward, treating each day as a new opportunity, which it truly is.
I love the feeling of presence
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 3/17/21 7:36 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/17/21 7:36 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/17/21:
Today was my first day back since the trip. I was quite drained from the trip overall.
I slept a solid 9 hours last night, after sleeping probably an average of 4 hours/night on the trip. I realized that at that level of sleep, I can manage for about 3-4 days max, before my discipline sacrifices significantly.
It's funny, reading over the journal I wrote 6 days ago, with a desire to get up early... haha, that didn't really work out, because I wasn't going to bed early. It's hard to go to bed early when so much cool things are happening, but I definitley need to have the discipline to call it a night at a certain point, making a small sacrifice in my own enjoyment for the benefit of everyone else.
I meditated for about 30 minutes today, and it was somewhat a thought-filled meditation. I did one cycle of wim hof as well, and then later did yoga, which really freed up a lot of tension. I am excited to dive deeper into meditaiton, because I sacrificed the practice on this trip and could have been at a higher operating level quite easily. Although I did have very limited anxiety and panic during the trip, considering how it went.
I was also able to figure out ways to get some alone time and meditation even while on the move. One thing I found quite effective was to write small journals when I needed to move on from something. So, it was good to develop that skill set.
I would like to keep cultivating presence, because if I can clear my mind, I can manifest some very cool results for myself.
But unnecessarily sacrificing sleep and meditation is pointless, especially if it's to stay up late.
To some degree I rekindled some inspiration on this trip though, and I like that.
Hopefully I can meditate more today
Today was my first day back since the trip. I was quite drained from the trip overall.
I slept a solid 9 hours last night, after sleeping probably an average of 4 hours/night on the trip. I realized that at that level of sleep, I can manage for about 3-4 days max, before my discipline sacrifices significantly.
It's funny, reading over the journal I wrote 6 days ago, with a desire to get up early... haha, that didn't really work out, because I wasn't going to bed early. It's hard to go to bed early when so much cool things are happening, but I definitley need to have the discipline to call it a night at a certain point, making a small sacrifice in my own enjoyment for the benefit of everyone else.
I meditated for about 30 minutes today, and it was somewhat a thought-filled meditation. I did one cycle of wim hof as well, and then later did yoga, which really freed up a lot of tension. I am excited to dive deeper into meditaiton, because I sacrificed the practice on this trip and could have been at a higher operating level quite easily. Although I did have very limited anxiety and panic during the trip, considering how it went.
I was also able to figure out ways to get some alone time and meditation even while on the move. One thing I found quite effective was to write small journals when I needed to move on from something. So, it was good to develop that skill set.
I would like to keep cultivating presence, because if I can clear my mind, I can manifest some very cool results for myself.
But unnecessarily sacrificing sleep and meditation is pointless, especially if it's to stay up late.
To some degree I rekindled some inspiration on this trip though, and I like that.
Hopefully I can meditate more today
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 3/19/21 8:06 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/19/21 8:06 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/19/21:
After being flooded with calls yesterday, today I was able to take a "me day" and get back on track with my practice.
I did some thought-filled meditation for about 30 minutes, then doing one cycle of wim hof and then listening to a 28 minute guided hypnosis audio.
I also did 20 minutes of yoga just now. The yoga is fantastic for me. It relaxes my mind and my body, and in fact since I resumed the yoga practice, my long-time shoulder pain has been reduced drastically.
Operating in the real world is difficult for me in many ways. I feel as though I have insane potential... I've always felt that way. But I never had the proper support or encouragement. Finding people that are encouraging is a blessing. And I'd like to be that for other people.
That's why I hate it so much when jealousy and negativity are often my first reactions to other people's successes. I wish that wasn't the case.
I understand that attachment is not love. I understand that it is very possible that I don't even know what love is.
And until I find love for myself and true self esteem... putting myself out there with youtube videos and music will be challenging.
At the same time though... I'm alive. and I have options with which actions I can take each day. I've learned well enough that there is no solution to all problems in a single day.
I can learn something new everyday. And I can change something every day. And over time, those things will add up.
I need to make more money. and I have a project I'm working on that will make me money, but I still need a little chunk of money right now to work on other projects. It's just so hard... with my anxiety and fears, to be confident in every area of my life.
That's why I seek out escapes. I like feeling significant. I like being looked up to. But it's bad when I put that over making actual progress in myself. This is why I've stopped coaching others as much. I can definitely help them, but I still need so much help.
This is why concentration meditation is my only real savoir that I see. This is why I'm here. I can cultivate focus and cultivate loving awareness with concentration meditation. And those are the things I need.
That's why it's a priority. Yes, others may not have to do it. But it's the path that I'm on, and it will bring me things that 99.9999% of others won't get.
It's worth it, and I have to have the discipline to put myself over others. Put validation from myself over the validation of others. That's what has me feeling off right now, I tried so hard to get the validation of others. and I'm still trying. But once I get it, I won't care about it. It's just a game that has me sucked into it. Beating the game, means I will just move onto a different challenge. And that's not real love.
And that's not how people should be treated. I want to be for others, what I never had. A source of positive encouragement, especially for friends.
That's what I want my creative efforts (film, photography, & music) to be about. Recognizing that there are no real limits. It's all just an illusion. And reality can be whatever you want it to be. There's no limit to the amount of fun and positive emotions you can experience.
I want to embody that. That's my purpose here.
And I currently place limits on my own happiness. I self-sabotage and create anxiety and blocks around things going well for me. I hold myself back in many ways.
Letting go, of all this, is what I want to learn.
Full expressive abilities. I dedicate myself everyday.
Photography > Video > Music
That's the order of my progression. All whilst maintaining my spiritual angle.
After being flooded with calls yesterday, today I was able to take a "me day" and get back on track with my practice.
I did some thought-filled meditation for about 30 minutes, then doing one cycle of wim hof and then listening to a 28 minute guided hypnosis audio.
I also did 20 minutes of yoga just now. The yoga is fantastic for me. It relaxes my mind and my body, and in fact since I resumed the yoga practice, my long-time shoulder pain has been reduced drastically.
Operating in the real world is difficult for me in many ways. I feel as though I have insane potential... I've always felt that way. But I never had the proper support or encouragement. Finding people that are encouraging is a blessing. And I'd like to be that for other people.
That's why I hate it so much when jealousy and negativity are often my first reactions to other people's successes. I wish that wasn't the case.
I understand that attachment is not love. I understand that it is very possible that I don't even know what love is.
And until I find love for myself and true self esteem... putting myself out there with youtube videos and music will be challenging.
At the same time though... I'm alive. and I have options with which actions I can take each day. I've learned well enough that there is no solution to all problems in a single day.
I can learn something new everyday. And I can change something every day. And over time, those things will add up.
I need to make more money. and I have a project I'm working on that will make me money, but I still need a little chunk of money right now to work on other projects. It's just so hard... with my anxiety and fears, to be confident in every area of my life.
That's why I seek out escapes. I like feeling significant. I like being looked up to. But it's bad when I put that over making actual progress in myself. This is why I've stopped coaching others as much. I can definitely help them, but I still need so much help.
This is why concentration meditation is my only real savoir that I see. This is why I'm here. I can cultivate focus and cultivate loving awareness with concentration meditation. And those are the things I need.
That's why it's a priority. Yes, others may not have to do it. But it's the path that I'm on, and it will bring me things that 99.9999% of others won't get.
It's worth it, and I have to have the discipline to put myself over others. Put validation from myself over the validation of others. That's what has me feeling off right now, I tried so hard to get the validation of others. and I'm still trying. But once I get it, I won't care about it. It's just a game that has me sucked into it. Beating the game, means I will just move onto a different challenge. And that's not real love.
And that's not how people should be treated. I want to be for others, what I never had. A source of positive encouragement, especially for friends.
That's what I want my creative efforts (film, photography, & music) to be about. Recognizing that there are no real limits. It's all just an illusion. And reality can be whatever you want it to be. There's no limit to the amount of fun and positive emotions you can experience.
I want to embody that. That's my purpose here.
And I currently place limits on my own happiness. I self-sabotage and create anxiety and blocks around things going well for me. I hold myself back in many ways.
Letting go, of all this, is what I want to learn.
Full expressive abilities. I dedicate myself everyday.
Photography > Video > Music
That's the order of my progression. All whilst maintaining my spiritual angle.
George S, modified 3 Years ago at 3/20/21 6:06 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/20/21 6:06 AM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 2722 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent PostsThis is why concentration meditation is my only real savoir that I see.
Honestly I think you have your hopes set too high for meditation. Have you tried therapy?
Martin, modified 3 Years ago at 3/20/21 8:58 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/20/21 8:57 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 1001 Join Date: 4/25/20 Recent Posts
You might want to play around with letting go. You might say try taking some time in which you are not trying to be anything, or become anything, and just see what it is like to give yourself permission to be nothing in particular, just part of the world, like the rocks, and the trees, and the goldfish, and the traffic police. Nothing special. Can be nice to at least have that option.
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 3/23/21 2:02 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/23/21 2:02 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/23/21:
Today was a good day for realignment with my practice. I had alarms set for this morning at 7:30AM and 8:00AM, and this woke me up enough to take a caffeine pill and arise around 9:30am, which is good for me. I think that waking up early (and thus going to bed early) to be able to ground myself every morning, is something that I want to prioritize over all else.
I've been filled with thought over the last few days, making significant progress in new business ventures, however at the same time noticed a certain additional reactiveness, that is coming from overattachment to certain relationships.
Detachment from outcome is key, and really brainstorming to know exactly what a win looks like in each relationship. I'm very grateful for the support system that I have and the people I know, but I certainly have done a 180 from being fully independent, to now perhaps over-relying on others. It will be interesting to find the balance between being on top of myself, while also leveraging valuable guidance from my network.
I did a kriya meditation with red light therapy, and this immediately created additional presence in me, allowing me to progress into 20 minutes of less scattered thought concentration meditation. I think this is the best way for me to start my meditations, as the red light is powerful, and it serves as a good baseline, which can channel into longer concentration meditations.
I still haven't done my yoga yet, but I think I will do it now after I finish writing this.
Now I'm going to go ahead and respond to the comments left above
Today was a good day for realignment with my practice. I had alarms set for this morning at 7:30AM and 8:00AM, and this woke me up enough to take a caffeine pill and arise around 9:30am, which is good for me. I think that waking up early (and thus going to bed early) to be able to ground myself every morning, is something that I want to prioritize over all else.
I've been filled with thought over the last few days, making significant progress in new business ventures, however at the same time noticed a certain additional reactiveness, that is coming from overattachment to certain relationships.
Detachment from outcome is key, and really brainstorming to know exactly what a win looks like in each relationship. I'm very grateful for the support system that I have and the people I know, but I certainly have done a 180 from being fully independent, to now perhaps over-relying on others. It will be interesting to find the balance between being on top of myself, while also leveraging valuable guidance from my network.
I did a kriya meditation with red light therapy, and this immediately created additional presence in me, allowing me to progress into 20 minutes of less scattered thought concentration meditation. I think this is the best way for me to start my meditations, as the red light is powerful, and it serves as a good baseline, which can channel into longer concentration meditations.
I still haven't done my yoga yet, but I think I will do it now after I finish writing this.
Now I'm going to go ahead and respond to the comments left above
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 3/23/21 2:19 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/23/21 2:19 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
A few things here. These journals are quite rambly and lack significant context. To be honest, I am just trying to resume the journaling habit, and as I get on top of things in my life, my writing style will likely improve, and make more sense.
I've meditated 70-80% of days for about 6 years now. I mainly started meditating consistently due to a significant life trauma event.
I have a history of anxiety in my family, and used to have frequent panic attacks at a certain point when I was 18-19.
A lot of my anxiety comes from acne. I had unpredictable cystic acne. Imagine having a presentation that you have prepped for, and then all the sudden a quarter-sized bump pops up on your face. Or you have a date with a girl you've liked for months. Basically it caused me to have very fluctuating levels of confidence. A very weird identity. Now my skin is finally clear, due to use of accutane, and I have a more stable ground for myself in that regard.
I've found that I've been able to have the best mental states and most deep control over external reality, when I'm meditating consistently every day, and reading before bed.
Longer lengths of concentration meditation in particular, have demonstrated superpower like abilities, at least in my generation. Such as, abilities to maintain focus for 8 hours straight, finishing a 300 page book in one day.
This might not seem impressive, but since I'm heavily involved in social media, the average person using social media as much as I do can barely focus on any low-stimulus thing for more than 30 seconds.
So, it's not that I'm setting my hopes unreasonably high, as much as I'm just trying to return to and maintain previous levels of focus, confidence, social abilities, that I've had in the past and associated with daily longer length concentration meditations, among other things.
I've been to numerous types of therapies and coachings, and found value in them at times.
In fact, I signed up for a therapist when I was experiencing a lot of financial success, hoping that they would help me manage the success. Overall, they didn't help me very much, and I sabotaged the success. I'm not blaming the therapist, but clearly it wasn't some beacon of hope for me.
I've recognized that all therapy or change, transformation, happens within. I am into hypnosis and NLP, and have used those techniques to find a lot of value. But overall, I don't think any specific therapist or person has the answers I'm looking for. The best therapy a lot of times is just meditating to clear out my thoughts and communicate with a "source energy" of sorts, perhaps the subconscious brain, which is able to effortlessly pierce through my desires and move me towards my outcomes with minimal resistance, overthinking.
Really meditation allows me to get out of my own way. And that's why I value it.
The main issue I experience is that I'm very routine-based. If I miss a day of meditation in the morning, it's very hard to resume the momentum. And it requires a certain schedule/lifestyle to fit it in. When traveling, it is tough to keep a schedule like that, and I want to be more honest and open with others about my meditation, and to simply just do it in the morning, before the people that depend on me are awake.
I've meditated 70-80% of days for about 6 years now. I mainly started meditating consistently due to a significant life trauma event.
I have a history of anxiety in my family, and used to have frequent panic attacks at a certain point when I was 18-19.
A lot of my anxiety comes from acne. I had unpredictable cystic acne. Imagine having a presentation that you have prepped for, and then all the sudden a quarter-sized bump pops up on your face. Or you have a date with a girl you've liked for months. Basically it caused me to have very fluctuating levels of confidence. A very weird identity. Now my skin is finally clear, due to use of accutane, and I have a more stable ground for myself in that regard.
I've found that I've been able to have the best mental states and most deep control over external reality, when I'm meditating consistently every day, and reading before bed.
Longer lengths of concentration meditation in particular, have demonstrated superpower like abilities, at least in my generation. Such as, abilities to maintain focus for 8 hours straight, finishing a 300 page book in one day.
This might not seem impressive, but since I'm heavily involved in social media, the average person using social media as much as I do can barely focus on any low-stimulus thing for more than 30 seconds.
So, it's not that I'm setting my hopes unreasonably high, as much as I'm just trying to return to and maintain previous levels of focus, confidence, social abilities, that I've had in the past and associated with daily longer length concentration meditations, among other things.
I've been to numerous types of therapies and coachings, and found value in them at times.
In fact, I signed up for a therapist when I was experiencing a lot of financial success, hoping that they would help me manage the success. Overall, they didn't help me very much, and I sabotaged the success. I'm not blaming the therapist, but clearly it wasn't some beacon of hope for me.
I've recognized that all therapy or change, transformation, happens within. I am into hypnosis and NLP, and have used those techniques to find a lot of value. But overall, I don't think any specific therapist or person has the answers I'm looking for. The best therapy a lot of times is just meditating to clear out my thoughts and communicate with a "source energy" of sorts, perhaps the subconscious brain, which is able to effortlessly pierce through my desires and move me towards my outcomes with minimal resistance, overthinking.
Really meditation allows me to get out of my own way. And that's why I value it.
The main issue I experience is that I'm very routine-based. If I miss a day of meditation in the morning, it's very hard to resume the momentum. And it requires a certain schedule/lifestyle to fit it in. When traveling, it is tough to keep a schedule like that, and I want to be more honest and open with others about my meditation, and to simply just do it in the morning, before the people that depend on me are awake.
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 3/23/21 2:37 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/23/21 2:37 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
I do love this idea. And I'm aware that option exists.
I sometimes fantasize about just letting go of all social media goals, and just focusing on yoga, meditation, and human connection.
I agree that I am too controlling over myself and my image. I'm very naturally judgmental of myself and others. And I have a tendency to talk shit about others, even though I know it is wrong and useless. When I meditate more, I don't do this as much. Part of me thinks I am stuck in a lower level of energy, if you've read Frederick Dodson's "Levels of Energy". And I really have a desire to move up towards unconditional love.
I know there is deep potential for non-attached, unconditional love within me.
And I know that letting go of the need for approval, the need for validation... is a huge thing for me.
It's like I'm searching for permission for everything I do, and I have a deep fear of doing something wrong, at times.
I'm stuck in the optimization paradigm at times, and this is useful because in business and social media, things can always be better.
And I have obligations, that don't make it as easy.
I know that for me a lot of my spiritual journey is in the material world. There are certain challenges and puzzles for me to solve that I feel were laid out for me in the material world in order to do something with them.
It's kind of like I'm in a video game and I see the main quest being laid out, but I often get sucked into side missions, and avoid completing the main quest.
And I think I can inspire others to meditate and follow a spiritual path, but I want to do it in a socially relevant way that actually makes sense.
I sometimes fantasize about just letting go of all social media goals, and just focusing on yoga, meditation, and human connection.
I agree that I am too controlling over myself and my image. I'm very naturally judgmental of myself and others. And I have a tendency to talk shit about others, even though I know it is wrong and useless. When I meditate more, I don't do this as much. Part of me thinks I am stuck in a lower level of energy, if you've read Frederick Dodson's "Levels of Energy". And I really have a desire to move up towards unconditional love.
I know there is deep potential for non-attached, unconditional love within me.
And I know that letting go of the need for approval, the need for validation... is a huge thing for me.
It's like I'm searching for permission for everything I do, and I have a deep fear of doing something wrong, at times.
I'm stuck in the optimization paradigm at times, and this is useful because in business and social media, things can always be better.
And I have obligations, that don't make it as easy.
I know that for me a lot of my spiritual journey is in the material world. There are certain challenges and puzzles for me to solve that I feel were laid out for me in the material world in order to do something with them.
It's kind of like I'm in a video game and I see the main quest being laid out, but I often get sucked into side missions, and avoid completing the main quest.
And I think I can inspire others to meditate and follow a spiritual path, but I want to do it in a socially relevant way that actually makes sense.
George S, modified 3 Years ago at 3/23/21 4:32 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/23/21 4:32 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 2722 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent Posts
Thanks for the background, it’s helpful to understand the context :-)
It’s great that meditation has had such a positive impact on your life. Meditation can be even more powerful in combination with therapy ... but like you say, finding the right therapist can be a challenge. Sometimes they see the problem but you resist it, or sometimes they see you through the distorted lens of their own issues. It’s really hard to tell the difference! I’ve been through periods where I was working with a therapist and periods where I felt like meditation was “doing therapy on myself”, working directly with my subconscious. It’s definitely possible, if you are sensitive to the signals of your own resistance and reactions to other people.
I can really relate to some of the stuff you mention - panic attacks, feelings of great potential combined with self-sabotage, seeking approval and validation. I didn’t start therapy until I was 30 and it took me another 15 years of seeking external validation to make myself depressed enough to start meditating and figure out the root causes of it all!
It’s great that meditation has had such a positive impact on your life. Meditation can be even more powerful in combination with therapy ... but like you say, finding the right therapist can be a challenge. Sometimes they see the problem but you resist it, or sometimes they see you through the distorted lens of their own issues. It’s really hard to tell the difference! I’ve been through periods where I was working with a therapist and periods where I felt like meditation was “doing therapy on myself”, working directly with my subconscious. It’s definitely possible, if you are sensitive to the signals of your own resistance and reactions to other people.
I can really relate to some of the stuff you mention - panic attacks, feelings of great potential combined with self-sabotage, seeking approval and validation. I didn’t start therapy until I was 30 and it took me another 15 years of seeking external validation to make myself depressed enough to start meditating and figure out the root causes of it all!
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 3/24/21 9:30 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/24/21 9:30 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/24/21:
Today was a great recovery day, and I feel I have learned some major truths.
After doing legs at the gym for the first time in a while, I slept about 14 hours yesterday haha.
But, I woke up feeling well-rested, and started my day off by reading some of "Levels of Energy" by Frederick Dodson. It really spoke to my current situation a lot, and I realized that one of my issues is resisting certain emotions and states. Dodson says in the book, "what you resist, you feed" and by resisting things like sadness, anger, tiredness, I'm actually allowing them to control me, instead of just passing through me.
I also realized from the book that taking any action with a root intention of wanting approval from others is just a recipe for failure and a feeling of lack. I understand that me wanting validation from certain people in my life, gives them power over me and creates a lack in myself. The process of letting go of that, is necessary for me to be fulfilled in my day-to-day life, and understanding the impermanence that while relationships can give me love and support, it's important to have abundance in that regard and not feel lack if someone isn't giving me attention.
I meditated in front of the red light, and shortly after did yoga. I then got fairly caught up in a host of things. Getting sucked into digital communication is an issue for me, especially because there are certain messages I don't know how to respond to. It seems that I create an unnecessary stalling at times when I overthink how to respond to things, when in reality if I just know my outcomes and move directly towards them, it's a bit easier.
Anyways, I like how Dodson says that we can temporarily go to different levels of energy, and that it doesn't mean we are stuck there. I think a lot of letting go is in order for me, so practicing it through hypnosis or even just a mental decision to let go, will be useful.
I do feel that my morning routine simply doesn't get done. And that I'd love to just dial it in so I make it something that gets done before I do much else. Not really sure how to do this, other than wake up earlier and set an intention the night before. In fact, one of my biggest things is not writing a nightly journal before bed. So, I'd love to get started on that, maybe I can even write it here...
Today was a great recovery day, and I feel I have learned some major truths.
After doing legs at the gym for the first time in a while, I slept about 14 hours yesterday haha.
But, I woke up feeling well-rested, and started my day off by reading some of "Levels of Energy" by Frederick Dodson. It really spoke to my current situation a lot, and I realized that one of my issues is resisting certain emotions and states. Dodson says in the book, "what you resist, you feed" and by resisting things like sadness, anger, tiredness, I'm actually allowing them to control me, instead of just passing through me.
I also realized from the book that taking any action with a root intention of wanting approval from others is just a recipe for failure and a feeling of lack. I understand that me wanting validation from certain people in my life, gives them power over me and creates a lack in myself. The process of letting go of that, is necessary for me to be fulfilled in my day-to-day life, and understanding the impermanence that while relationships can give me love and support, it's important to have abundance in that regard and not feel lack if someone isn't giving me attention.
I meditated in front of the red light, and shortly after did yoga. I then got fairly caught up in a host of things. Getting sucked into digital communication is an issue for me, especially because there are certain messages I don't know how to respond to. It seems that I create an unnecessary stalling at times when I overthink how to respond to things, when in reality if I just know my outcomes and move directly towards them, it's a bit easier.
Anyways, I like how Dodson says that we can temporarily go to different levels of energy, and that it doesn't mean we are stuck there. I think a lot of letting go is in order for me, so practicing it through hypnosis or even just a mental decision to let go, will be useful.
I do feel that my morning routine simply doesn't get done. And that I'd love to just dial it in so I make it something that gets done before I do much else. Not really sure how to do this, other than wake up earlier and set an intention the night before. In fact, one of my biggest things is not writing a nightly journal before bed. So, I'd love to get started on that, maybe I can even write it here...
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 3/25/21 4:18 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 3/25/21 4:18 AM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
3/24/21: Night Journal
Things I did well today:
Read some of Levels of Energy book
Went out to socialize with friends
Had a girl over for a date
Got new LLC properly formed
Sent voice message to girl I was nervous about responding to
Attended zoom coaching call
Did short workout
Took a shower
Did full morning routine
Took vitamins
Set alarm for tomorrow
In bed writing this journal
Met two girls & pulled them to my spot
Posted a photo to my photography IG
Things I could have done better:
Done full morning routine right away in order without checking phone
Go out and socialize more often so it's more routine for me
Outcomes for tomorrow:
Do full routine right away in morning
Record a video
Go out and socialize at night
Help my clients on their coaching calls
Read through acting handbook
Things I did well today:
Read some of Levels of Energy book
Went out to socialize with friends
Had a girl over for a date
Got new LLC properly formed
Sent voice message to girl I was nervous about responding to
Attended zoom coaching call
Did short workout
Took a shower
Did full morning routine
Took vitamins
Set alarm for tomorrow
In bed writing this journal
Met two girls & pulled them to my spot
Posted a photo to my photography IG
Things I could have done better:
Done full morning routine right away in order without checking phone
Go out and socialize more often so it's more routine for me
Outcomes for tomorrow:
Do full routine right away in morning
Record a video
Go out and socialize at night
Help my clients on their coaching calls
Read through acting handbook
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 5/5/21 6:29 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/5/21 6:28 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
5/5/21:
So I've gone on quite a little materialist "escapism" marathon over the last few weeks, barely meditating at all in the last 20 days.
Part of this has been because I've been living with other people the majority of the time, with only 2-3 alone days where I actually have any alone time. In Miami I shared a hotel room with others, and then now I have a friend staying with me here at my spot in Vegas.
To be fair, I easily could be meditating even with others around, and it is simply my responsibility to make it a priority. Over the last few days I've been immersing myself into working on social media content, and I have 2 youtube videos that I'm very proud of uploaded and scheduled out to be released over the next 2 weeks.
One will go out tomorrow, and the other will go out a week after.
I'm hoping that this will enable me to keep up with a once per week schedule, as I have more footage I can edit and then of course I can film more videos.
It's been a big test for me, to not meditate, and I'm finding ways to be more meditative in the moment, and find instant relaxation when possible. However, I definitely miss the enhanced states of relaxation and focus and calmness that come from meditation.
So, I'm going to dive into a guided hypnosis here, and hopefully this eases my over-importance with some of the tasks I've been working on. I still get nervous when it comes to uploading videos, and I feel the resistance, so it's important for me to push through that.
In fact, I just scheduled the video to be published tomorrow, and perhaps I'll go ahead and schedule the next one as well. Boom. Did that as well.
I feel as though proceeding through resistance in the material world is very important as well as moving through resistance in the mental/spiritual realms.
And I've been more on top of my game in the material world. I'm getting more organized and getting more impressive outcomes. I would definitely love to have a better nighttime journal routine, to set my outcomes for the next day, even if it's just 1-2 small items.
I know this is a powerful practice for me that allows me to keep track of where I'm at and what my goals are. It allows me to relax, knowing I accomplished today what seemed like an amazing day yesterday.
It's easy to get caught up in the moment sometimes and become greedy or needy, when in reality the day is going amazing and all the main things I wanted are happening
Continuing to get ahead on youtube videos is fantastic for me, as I have been encountering resistance there for so long!
I'm ready to take that step, and also teach some more spiritual concepts on my channel, empowering people to have a better mindset and deal with stress in life.
One more thing is, I'm a little frustrated because a friend is posting a video similar to mine today/tomorrow. I feel a desire to hog all the credit. But I think it's important for me to let go of the credit here, and understand that my video is better anyways and much more impressive than his. so, the truth is I can let go of the need to get 100% of the credit all the time.
Sharing is a good deed, and it will be a win for both of us anyways so idk why I'm worried
Now off to my hypnosis!
So I've gone on quite a little materialist "escapism" marathon over the last few weeks, barely meditating at all in the last 20 days.
Part of this has been because I've been living with other people the majority of the time, with only 2-3 alone days where I actually have any alone time. In Miami I shared a hotel room with others, and then now I have a friend staying with me here at my spot in Vegas.
To be fair, I easily could be meditating even with others around, and it is simply my responsibility to make it a priority. Over the last few days I've been immersing myself into working on social media content, and I have 2 youtube videos that I'm very proud of uploaded and scheduled out to be released over the next 2 weeks.
One will go out tomorrow, and the other will go out a week after.
I'm hoping that this will enable me to keep up with a once per week schedule, as I have more footage I can edit and then of course I can film more videos.
It's been a big test for me, to not meditate, and I'm finding ways to be more meditative in the moment, and find instant relaxation when possible. However, I definitely miss the enhanced states of relaxation and focus and calmness that come from meditation.
So, I'm going to dive into a guided hypnosis here, and hopefully this eases my over-importance with some of the tasks I've been working on. I still get nervous when it comes to uploading videos, and I feel the resistance, so it's important for me to push through that.
In fact, I just scheduled the video to be published tomorrow, and perhaps I'll go ahead and schedule the next one as well. Boom. Did that as well.
I feel as though proceeding through resistance in the material world is very important as well as moving through resistance in the mental/spiritual realms.
And I've been more on top of my game in the material world. I'm getting more organized and getting more impressive outcomes. I would definitely love to have a better nighttime journal routine, to set my outcomes for the next day, even if it's just 1-2 small items.
I know this is a powerful practice for me that allows me to keep track of where I'm at and what my goals are. It allows me to relax, knowing I accomplished today what seemed like an amazing day yesterday.
It's easy to get caught up in the moment sometimes and become greedy or needy, when in reality the day is going amazing and all the main things I wanted are happening
Continuing to get ahead on youtube videos is fantastic for me, as I have been encountering resistance there for so long!
I'm ready to take that step, and also teach some more spiritual concepts on my channel, empowering people to have a better mindset and deal with stress in life.
One more thing is, I'm a little frustrated because a friend is posting a video similar to mine today/tomorrow. I feel a desire to hog all the credit. But I think it's important for me to let go of the credit here, and understand that my video is better anyways and much more impressive than his. so, the truth is I can let go of the need to get 100% of the credit all the time.
Sharing is a good deed, and it will be a win for both of us anyways so idk why I'm worried
Now off to my hypnosis!
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 5/7/21 11:08 AM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/7/21 11:08 AM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
5/7/21:
So I somehow made it on a flight to my trip to Mexico, which I had missed the original flight to 4 days ago lol.
It feels good to be here, and it is a relaxing place to work for sure. I see the potential in traveling more on my own to get different perspectives on things. Once you have a nice room at a nice resort or a villa in an exotic land, it feels great to just lounge around and work.
Definitely am going to want to renew my passport soon when I return as it expires soon lol - and I can expedite it I'm pretty sure.
Anyways, today I already have done a basic concentration meditation for 10 minutes. I think it is important to remember that with my meditation habit, it doesn't have to be a 30-50 min guided hypnosis or a 1 hour long concentration marathon. Even just 5 minutes of focusing on the breath provides me some relief and relaxation.
One of the main things rumbling in my brain has been my desire to start a habit of setting daily outcomes (and weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly would be nice as well lol).
But really, I want to start with daily, and see where that goes.
The format I'm interesting in using I got from a hypnotist named Mark Cunningham. He calls it a daily self-assessment. In order to do this properly, you must make an initial list of your strengths, obstacles, and long-term outcomes.
It goes like:
1. What did I do today to take advantage of my strengths?2. What did I do today to remove the obstacles to my power?3. What did I do today to move me closer to my outcomes?Desired Outcomes for Tomorrow:Categorize and Reframe them into empowering outcomes (musts/shoulds):How can I detach from these outcomes?
I added the last 3 parts at the end based on some Tony Robbins stuff. He says it's important to re-phrase your goals into something empowering that excited you to read it. Ex: file my taxes vs empower myself financially by tracking my income.
And then the last part I think is nice to remind myself that the material result really doesn't matter in the spiritual scheme of things.
So... you're supposed to do this at the END of every day. Which has always proven difficult to me as I don't have a fixed bedtime or night-time routine. Usually I just fall asleep when I get tired and worn out, and I still have many tasks on my plate.
Part of this is me feeling like I have to use one day to fully "catch up" in my life. Well, the truth is, while it is possibly for me to "catch up" majorly in some areas of my life in just one day, the practical truth is that having longer term projects (ex: weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly) will enable me to predictable solve challenges in my life in a less stressful manner. By starting with daily outcomes, it pushes my mind to think about what these outcomes are moving towards, which makes me think about weekly outcomes and monthly outcomes as well.
One of my issues as well has been proper time management. Where I feel like I need to be able to channel focus and make more sacrifices, but at the same time be understanding of life's opportunities & that at certain points it is quite sensible to eschew certain habits temporarily. This is why I love Buddhism's middle-way style of thinking in regards to life.
Anyways, I already have a few outcomes set for today, and I'm in a time-crunch to attend an event that just started 5 min ago.... so... I won't be fully doing this journal right now.. But it would be great to set an intention of doing it tonight for 5 minutes! So I just wrote that in my daily outcomes.
They are:
[X] Journal
[ ] Recover a lost instagram account
[ ] pay one of my contractors
[ ] massively share my new youtube video
[ ] 5 minute outcome journal before bed
Here's to thinking more about keeping track of what matters to me in life and properly gameplanning and strategizing to get there
All whilst keeping meditation and spiritual goals in mind of course ;)
So I somehow made it on a flight to my trip to Mexico, which I had missed the original flight to 4 days ago lol.
It feels good to be here, and it is a relaxing place to work for sure. I see the potential in traveling more on my own to get different perspectives on things. Once you have a nice room at a nice resort or a villa in an exotic land, it feels great to just lounge around and work.
Definitely am going to want to renew my passport soon when I return as it expires soon lol - and I can expedite it I'm pretty sure.
Anyways, today I already have done a basic concentration meditation for 10 minutes. I think it is important to remember that with my meditation habit, it doesn't have to be a 30-50 min guided hypnosis or a 1 hour long concentration marathon. Even just 5 minutes of focusing on the breath provides me some relief and relaxation.
One of the main things rumbling in my brain has been my desire to start a habit of setting daily outcomes (and weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly would be nice as well lol).
But really, I want to start with daily, and see where that goes.
The format I'm interesting in using I got from a hypnotist named Mark Cunningham. He calls it a daily self-assessment. In order to do this properly, you must make an initial list of your strengths, obstacles, and long-term outcomes.
It goes like:
1. What did I do today to take advantage of my strengths?2. What did I do today to remove the obstacles to my power?3. What did I do today to move me closer to my outcomes?Desired Outcomes for Tomorrow:Categorize and Reframe them into empowering outcomes (musts/shoulds):How can I detach from these outcomes?
I added the last 3 parts at the end based on some Tony Robbins stuff. He says it's important to re-phrase your goals into something empowering that excited you to read it. Ex: file my taxes vs empower myself financially by tracking my income.
And then the last part I think is nice to remind myself that the material result really doesn't matter in the spiritual scheme of things.
So... you're supposed to do this at the END of every day. Which has always proven difficult to me as I don't have a fixed bedtime or night-time routine. Usually I just fall asleep when I get tired and worn out, and I still have many tasks on my plate.
Part of this is me feeling like I have to use one day to fully "catch up" in my life. Well, the truth is, while it is possibly for me to "catch up" majorly in some areas of my life in just one day, the practical truth is that having longer term projects (ex: weekly, monthly, quarterly, yearly) will enable me to predictable solve challenges in my life in a less stressful manner. By starting with daily outcomes, it pushes my mind to think about what these outcomes are moving towards, which makes me think about weekly outcomes and monthly outcomes as well.
One of my issues as well has been proper time management. Where I feel like I need to be able to channel focus and make more sacrifices, but at the same time be understanding of life's opportunities & that at certain points it is quite sensible to eschew certain habits temporarily. This is why I love Buddhism's middle-way style of thinking in regards to life.
Anyways, I already have a few outcomes set for today, and I'm in a time-crunch to attend an event that just started 5 min ago.... so... I won't be fully doing this journal right now.. But it would be great to set an intention of doing it tonight for 5 minutes! So I just wrote that in my daily outcomes.
They are:
[X] Journal
[ ] Recover a lost instagram account
[ ] pay one of my contractors
[ ] massively share my new youtube video
[ ] 5 minute outcome journal before bed
Here's to thinking more about keeping track of what matters to me in life and properly gameplanning and strategizing to get there
All whilst keeping meditation and spiritual goals in mind of course ;)
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 5/10/21 9:22 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/10/21 9:22 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
5/10/21:
Here I am doing another journal here. Back from Mexico, back in Las Vegas. And I've made some solid strides towards getting my life more in order.
I shipped off my passport to be renewed today, which was a fairly complicated process, so it feels good to have accomplished that. I also woke up at a reasonable time and have been watching some motivating youtube videos on youtube video creation... lol
I have a few outcomes that I still haven't done from a few days ago.. so I haven't really updated my outcome list all that much.
I think it's time that I should just go ahead and knock those out, so that I can move forward. I seemingly have a habit of biting off a little more than I can chew in terms of work.
I meditated for 8 minutes this morning, because that was the time I had before a zoom call I wanted to attend.
I'm thinking that a key thing for me is to simply just randomly pick one of the things on my outcome list, and start to set a standard of everything I put on there, I make a strong effort to make progress in.
I think that letting myself off the hook is a little unfair to myself. And this will cause me to be a little bit more realistic in the goals I set.
I hate being realistic though, the story of my life is always underestimating the amount of time that I have. And how much time the things I want to do will take.
Being in control of myself and my income is interesting. I know I have the capabilities to make massive amounts of money through building value in the world. A business that creates value. I understand that. And I know that this is my path. The only way out is through, and it's that "through" that is my process - and I intend to enjoy it
Here I am doing another journal here. Back from Mexico, back in Las Vegas. And I've made some solid strides towards getting my life more in order.
I shipped off my passport to be renewed today, which was a fairly complicated process, so it feels good to have accomplished that. I also woke up at a reasonable time and have been watching some motivating youtube videos on youtube video creation... lol
I have a few outcomes that I still haven't done from a few days ago.. so I haven't really updated my outcome list all that much.
I think it's time that I should just go ahead and knock those out, so that I can move forward. I seemingly have a habit of biting off a little more than I can chew in terms of work.
I meditated for 8 minutes this morning, because that was the time I had before a zoom call I wanted to attend.
I'm thinking that a key thing for me is to simply just randomly pick one of the things on my outcome list, and start to set a standard of everything I put on there, I make a strong effort to make progress in.
I think that letting myself off the hook is a little unfair to myself. And this will cause me to be a little bit more realistic in the goals I set.
I hate being realistic though, the story of my life is always underestimating the amount of time that I have. And how much time the things I want to do will take.
Being in control of myself and my income is interesting. I know I have the capabilities to make massive amounts of money through building value in the world. A business that creates value. I understand that. And I know that this is my path. The only way out is through, and it's that "through" that is my process - and I intend to enjoy it
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 5/13/21 4:11 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/13/21 4:11 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
5/13/21:
Back here with another log.
I did my kriya meditation today, first time I've done it in a while. The impetus for such was my reading of a spiritual-esque book by Lester Levenson. It is called No Attachments, No Aversions. I was drawn to it by the title, and it is definitely a good book to read, although it's nothing earth-shattering.
The first part of the book is about his life and I found it interesting how multiple times he talks about starting businesses and experiencing financial success only to have some inevitable thing happen that caused his bank account to go back to 0. He then explains that after his awakening, he was able to achieve financial success quite readily and become a millionaire back in the 1950s, which was a lot of money back then, about $10 million in today's money.
He also mentions how the money wasn't important to him though, and he got rid of it to live a quieter life in Sedona. The whole book was kind of odd because then there was a sales pitch at the end for an audio course, which seems weird because he was saying how true gurus don't charge for information.
However, I simply just enjoy the feeling that reading more spiritual texts gives me. I enter a more present state and feel a stronger draw towards meditation, and this result alone is worth the reading experience, so I might as well just keep doing so.
I did my meditation, and followed it with yoga, and now I honestly would just like to continue reading and thinking, before recording my next youtube video, as I did have one go out today.
I believe the true thing getting in my way of creating better videos on Youtube and Tiktok is my ego. I believe that each video is SO IMPORTANT because it's MY video. Same thing with wealth, I look at my going from millions to zeros as MY MONEY. I lost it.
The obvious truth to many of you on this forum is that the videos I create are simply creative energy being channeled through me from some other source. Source energy or infinite intelligence. And, if I stopped letting my ego-idenfication pervade each video (thinking about how it's my video so I have to present myself in a certain way, etc) then I could simply just enjoy the process of making each video, and then move onto the next without overthinking.
It is quite overwhelming to think that in order to be consistent on youtube I would have to make one video a week. I've never done well with deadlines.
And I know that additional willpower isn't the solution to this. It's more of a letting go thing, than a powering through my resistance thing.
I want to care less about my own personal ego-driven goals. And instead just share. Share love. Share wealth. Share humor.
I think the more that I come from a place of sharing, I can channel that source energy, rather than the selfish, inauthentic energy.
It's definitely a journey for me, and it doesn't come naturally. I'm moving at my own pace.
I'd like to continue meditating and reading spiritual books as well as filming videos that excite me. On the other side, Im making more money and it's coming more and more easily. I think I can set up simple systems to increase income, while simultaneously having enough time to record videos.
It's not a time thing as much as a mental/emotional energy thing. These tasks wear me out rapidly.
And the reason they wear me out is because with these tasks I associate anxiety and worry. It's definitely because I bought the youtube channel that I run. It has many subscribers that aren't mine, and thus it worries me when I think about the fact that they didn't subscribe to me. At the same time, it increased my standard for the videos I upload, so that is good in a way, and I can always upload videos to my facebook group if I just want to make practice videos.
In addition, the anxiety and worry comes from overthinking and over-ego idenfication with my work. Comparing myself to others and it hurting me when I can't live up to my expectations perfectly. Just like a pimple popping up on my face, if I see a shot of me looking ugly in the video, or my voice tonality not sounding good to me, or me doing something cringey, I become ashamed and feel my energy lower and my mood become irritated.
This is probably fairly normal for someone living in the US in this age of intense materialism and social media culture.
So that's why I read the book. I know I'm attached to this mental image of myself, and when reality doesn't match up to it, I get discouraged. Or I get motivated. But the fact is whether I'm discouraged or motivated to change myself, it's not coming from a healthy place. I want to be more accepting of myself, more honest. And I think will that letting go of attachments and becoming more accepting, that is true freedom that will give me the power and confidence to put myself out there authentically, have fun doing it, and make enough money to support myself.
For now, it is a practice, a daily practice of meditation, and exposing myself to more spiritual concepts consistently.
And I will experience resistance from time to time, but an overall progression in the direction of meditation will cure a lot of these things and then I can be more detached, playing my character like I'm playing a video game, rather than be so immersed in the attachment of whether what I'm doing is good or not and whether people approve of me.
I'm attached to approval, still.
Back here with another log.
I did my kriya meditation today, first time I've done it in a while. The impetus for such was my reading of a spiritual-esque book by Lester Levenson. It is called No Attachments, No Aversions. I was drawn to it by the title, and it is definitely a good book to read, although it's nothing earth-shattering.
The first part of the book is about his life and I found it interesting how multiple times he talks about starting businesses and experiencing financial success only to have some inevitable thing happen that caused his bank account to go back to 0. He then explains that after his awakening, he was able to achieve financial success quite readily and become a millionaire back in the 1950s, which was a lot of money back then, about $10 million in today's money.
He also mentions how the money wasn't important to him though, and he got rid of it to live a quieter life in Sedona. The whole book was kind of odd because then there was a sales pitch at the end for an audio course, which seems weird because he was saying how true gurus don't charge for information.
However, I simply just enjoy the feeling that reading more spiritual texts gives me. I enter a more present state and feel a stronger draw towards meditation, and this result alone is worth the reading experience, so I might as well just keep doing so.
I did my meditation, and followed it with yoga, and now I honestly would just like to continue reading and thinking, before recording my next youtube video, as I did have one go out today.
I believe the true thing getting in my way of creating better videos on Youtube and Tiktok is my ego. I believe that each video is SO IMPORTANT because it's MY video. Same thing with wealth, I look at my going from millions to zeros as MY MONEY. I lost it.
The obvious truth to many of you on this forum is that the videos I create are simply creative energy being channeled through me from some other source. Source energy or infinite intelligence. And, if I stopped letting my ego-idenfication pervade each video (thinking about how it's my video so I have to present myself in a certain way, etc) then I could simply just enjoy the process of making each video, and then move onto the next without overthinking.
It is quite overwhelming to think that in order to be consistent on youtube I would have to make one video a week. I've never done well with deadlines.
And I know that additional willpower isn't the solution to this. It's more of a letting go thing, than a powering through my resistance thing.
I want to care less about my own personal ego-driven goals. And instead just share. Share love. Share wealth. Share humor.
I think the more that I come from a place of sharing, I can channel that source energy, rather than the selfish, inauthentic energy.
It's definitely a journey for me, and it doesn't come naturally. I'm moving at my own pace.
I'd like to continue meditating and reading spiritual books as well as filming videos that excite me. On the other side, Im making more money and it's coming more and more easily. I think I can set up simple systems to increase income, while simultaneously having enough time to record videos.
It's not a time thing as much as a mental/emotional energy thing. These tasks wear me out rapidly.
And the reason they wear me out is because with these tasks I associate anxiety and worry. It's definitely because I bought the youtube channel that I run. It has many subscribers that aren't mine, and thus it worries me when I think about the fact that they didn't subscribe to me. At the same time, it increased my standard for the videos I upload, so that is good in a way, and I can always upload videos to my facebook group if I just want to make practice videos.
In addition, the anxiety and worry comes from overthinking and over-ego idenfication with my work. Comparing myself to others and it hurting me when I can't live up to my expectations perfectly. Just like a pimple popping up on my face, if I see a shot of me looking ugly in the video, or my voice tonality not sounding good to me, or me doing something cringey, I become ashamed and feel my energy lower and my mood become irritated.
This is probably fairly normal for someone living in the US in this age of intense materialism and social media culture.
So that's why I read the book. I know I'm attached to this mental image of myself, and when reality doesn't match up to it, I get discouraged. Or I get motivated. But the fact is whether I'm discouraged or motivated to change myself, it's not coming from a healthy place. I want to be more accepting of myself, more honest. And I think will that letting go of attachments and becoming more accepting, that is true freedom that will give me the power and confidence to put myself out there authentically, have fun doing it, and make enough money to support myself.
For now, it is a practice, a daily practice of meditation, and exposing myself to more spiritual concepts consistently.
And I will experience resistance from time to time, but an overall progression in the direction of meditation will cure a lot of these things and then I can be more detached, playing my character like I'm playing a video game, rather than be so immersed in the attachment of whether what I'm doing is good or not and whether people approve of me.
I'm attached to approval, still.
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 5/21/21 4:19 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/21/21 4:18 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
5/21/21:
I've recently become obsessed with float tanks.
I did my 6th float tank in my life about a year ago, and I randomly decided to buy their unlimited float plan, so I can go as often as I want. Since then, I've been an additional 4 times this week.
I've found that the float tanks give an added dimension to my meditation/hypnosis work and allow me to process the tension in my back. The feeling I feel right after the float tank is almost a high, like I was on MDMA or something. I'm pretty sure it causes a serotonin release so that would explain that feeling and why it's so addictive.
I've been doing 1-hour floats, but I think I'm going to aim to book out 2 timeslots to do 2 hour floats to get deeper meditations for the time that I invest.
The floats have enabled me to become more directed in my thinking, similar to concentration meditation.
I like it, because I currently have a girl living with me, who is basically functioning as an assistant/girlfriend.
I don't really want to have a girlfriend, but she is helping me with a lot of emotional support regarding basic things in my life, so that is useful.
As far as journaling, I do feel a degree of tension gets built up in me if I don't journal, so I've decided to move it to a priority in my day, being the first thing I do before meditating or anything else. Journaling is mentally more easy than commiting to a long meditation. I also feel like I could do shorter meditations and do a btter job of prioritizing that, but I feel like an easy first task of the day is a short journal to allow me to become aware of what I want to do today, and then "set up" my meditation.
I think having a structure for my journals makes them more fun and easier.
I'm not sure what the structure for a start of the day journal should be like... perhaps:
General Thoughts:
Things I'm Grateful For:
What Can I Do Today to Move Closer to My Outcomes:
Categorize and Reframe into Empowering Outcomes:
Prioritize and Bring them into Reminders/Trello
Cool so I'll try that and see how it goes, obviously while trying to keep a meditation/spiritual angle on things, due to my understanding that any material possession or success isn't going to fulfill me, but it's the process of living life presently that will have me feeling more satisfaction, fulfillment and happiness everyday!
Things I'm Grateful For:
I'm grateful for my amazing living location in Las Vegas in the best condo on the strip.
I'm grateful that I'm able to express myself creatively in different outlets such as videos, photography, building businesses, writing and singing/making music.
I'm grateful that I've found float tanks as a game-changing way to work on my inner tension and subconscious blocks.
I'm grateful for hypnosis and the positive effects it's had on me and will continue to have.
I'm grateful for the evolving crypto and NFT space, and how interesting the developments and opportunities are there. Even though I have no money invested in it, it's exciting to consider developing a project in that space
I'm grateful for my parents both being alive and supporting me.
I'm grateful for my growing understanding of business and marketing and for the opportunities become more accessible and tangible to me.
What Can I Do Today to Move Closer to My Outcomes:
Select, Edit, & Deliver photos to the models that I've done photoshoots with over the past 30 days
Order ingredients to make daily smoothies so I can make and drink them before running/exercising like I used to do when I was in the best shape of my life.
Meditate for a few minutes to lock all of this in.
Vocal warm up, to start getting some consistency there with projecting my voice.
Listen to rest of 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing on Audible
Start reading Breakthrough advertising
Categorize and Reframe into Empowering Outcomes:
Create and Publish beautiful works of photography art, providing value to attractive models that I'd love to have sex with
Produce an Energizing Healthy Smoothie to Empower me to Exercise
Take Care of My mental & Emotional Health
Generate Vocal Power to Express myself
Experience Massive Epiphanies in my understanding of marketing
[X] Prioritize and Bring them into Reminders/Trello
Boom, see that actually feels good and now I have more direction and structure in my day!
Here's to making this a daily habit
I've recently become obsessed with float tanks.
I did my 6th float tank in my life about a year ago, and I randomly decided to buy their unlimited float plan, so I can go as often as I want. Since then, I've been an additional 4 times this week.
I've found that the float tanks give an added dimension to my meditation/hypnosis work and allow me to process the tension in my back. The feeling I feel right after the float tank is almost a high, like I was on MDMA or something. I'm pretty sure it causes a serotonin release so that would explain that feeling and why it's so addictive.
I've been doing 1-hour floats, but I think I'm going to aim to book out 2 timeslots to do 2 hour floats to get deeper meditations for the time that I invest.
The floats have enabled me to become more directed in my thinking, similar to concentration meditation.
I like it, because I currently have a girl living with me, who is basically functioning as an assistant/girlfriend.
I don't really want to have a girlfriend, but she is helping me with a lot of emotional support regarding basic things in my life, so that is useful.
As far as journaling, I do feel a degree of tension gets built up in me if I don't journal, so I've decided to move it to a priority in my day, being the first thing I do before meditating or anything else. Journaling is mentally more easy than commiting to a long meditation. I also feel like I could do shorter meditations and do a btter job of prioritizing that, but I feel like an easy first task of the day is a short journal to allow me to become aware of what I want to do today, and then "set up" my meditation.
I think having a structure for my journals makes them more fun and easier.
I'm not sure what the structure for a start of the day journal should be like... perhaps:
General Thoughts:
Things I'm Grateful For:
What Can I Do Today to Move Closer to My Outcomes:
Categorize and Reframe into Empowering Outcomes:
Prioritize and Bring them into Reminders/Trello
Cool so I'll try that and see how it goes, obviously while trying to keep a meditation/spiritual angle on things, due to my understanding that any material possession or success isn't going to fulfill me, but it's the process of living life presently that will have me feeling more satisfaction, fulfillment and happiness everyday!
Things I'm Grateful For:
I'm grateful for my amazing living location in Las Vegas in the best condo on the strip.
I'm grateful that I'm able to express myself creatively in different outlets such as videos, photography, building businesses, writing and singing/making music.
I'm grateful that I've found float tanks as a game-changing way to work on my inner tension and subconscious blocks.
I'm grateful for hypnosis and the positive effects it's had on me and will continue to have.
I'm grateful for the evolving crypto and NFT space, and how interesting the developments and opportunities are there. Even though I have no money invested in it, it's exciting to consider developing a project in that space
I'm grateful for my parents both being alive and supporting me.
I'm grateful for my growing understanding of business and marketing and for the opportunities become more accessible and tangible to me.
What Can I Do Today to Move Closer to My Outcomes:
Select, Edit, & Deliver photos to the models that I've done photoshoots with over the past 30 days
Order ingredients to make daily smoothies so I can make and drink them before running/exercising like I used to do when I was in the best shape of my life.
Meditate for a few minutes to lock all of this in.
Vocal warm up, to start getting some consistency there with projecting my voice.
Listen to rest of 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing on Audible
Start reading Breakthrough advertising
Categorize and Reframe into Empowering Outcomes:
Create and Publish beautiful works of photography art, providing value to attractive models that I'd love to have sex with
Produce an Energizing Healthy Smoothie to Empower me to Exercise
Take Care of My mental & Emotional Health
Generate Vocal Power to Express myself
Experience Massive Epiphanies in my understanding of marketing
[X] Prioritize and Bring them into Reminders/Trello
Boom, see that actually feels good and now I have more direction and structure in my day!
Here's to making this a daily habit
George S, modified 3 Years ago at 5/21/21 5:49 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/21/21 5:49 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 2722 Join Date: 2/26/19 Recent PostsLife's Playground
I like it, because I currently have a girl living with me, who is basically functioning as an assistant/girlfriend.
I don't really want to have a girlfriend, but she is helping me with a lot of emotional support regarding basic things in my life, so that is useful.
I like it, because I currently have a girl living with me, who is basically functioning as an assistant/girlfriend.
I don't really want to have a girlfriend, but she is helping me with a lot of emotional support regarding basic things in my life, so that is useful.
I'm curious, how does she feel about this?
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 5/22/21 4:48 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/22/21 4:48 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent PostsLife's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 5/22/21 5:32 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/22/21 5:31 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
5/22/21:
Yesterday's Outcomes:
[ ] Create and Publish beautiful works of photography art, providing value to attractive models that I'd love to have sex with
- made a little progress here, but didn't deliver any photos yet, although I made some great strides in my photography editing process
[X] Produce an Energizing Healthy Smoothie to Empower me to Exercise
- I did a good job ordering fruits via instacart and made a great smoothie, and then went on a 2.3 mile run, which is good for me
[X] Take Care of My mental & Emotional Health
- felt really good to meditate actually
[X] Generate Vocal Power to Express myself
- felt great to have vocal power
[ ] Experience Massive Epiphanies in my understanding of marketing
- didn't get a chance to work on this because I was still working on the photos
General Thoughts:
I've been feeling a decent amount of resistance today towards journaling on here.
I woke up at 8AM, made coffee, and pulled out my laptop with the intention of journaling to start my day again.
Soon, I was sucked into some random unimportant tasks, such as going through email and setting up some crypto accounts.
It definitely serves as a reminder to me, how important momentum is for my brain. I can easily start the day off on the wrong foot if I open up my computer and I'm sucked into one of the infinite digital opportunities available to me. Perhaps I should move this journal to a physical notebook instead.
Then, the girl who is living with me had a friend visiting who she wanted to get lunch with, so I went and did that with her, and now I'm only getting to my journal at 3PM, feeling tired and already half-way through the day. I didn't "have" to go to lunch with them, so that's partially my fault. I could've let her go alone, even though I needed her help with the photos I'm currently working on. Perhaps it would have been better to let her go, so I could focus on work. It feels dumb to me to go out and get breakfast/lunch before I've accomplished anything for the day...
At the brunch though, I was fairly productive, going through and organizing my "google keep" note files, as I want to start using it again to keep track of various ideas. It was cool to look back through my old notes on there and I noticed how often I used to write out my thoughts and agendas and plans/ideas for various things. My brainstorming ability was quite capable, and I did a good job of keeping track of ideas. I think this will be an important thing for me to continue to do, in order for me to brainstorm youtube video ideas and other business ideas I'm working on.
As for the rest of today, I'm now back and able to get back on track with the outcomes I have left from yesterday.
Things I'm Grateful For:
I'm grateful that I'm in fairly good shape in terms of my body.
I'm grateful for my unlimited float tank membership.
I'm grateful for my renewed interest in crypto, and my renewed optimism in my own abilities as an entrepreneur
I'm grateful that I took action yesterday on photography, and am progressing there
I'm grateful for my coffee machine and learning how to make coffee finally.
I'm grateful for my assistant
What Can I Do Today to Move Closer to My Outcomes:
Edit + deliver 1 model's photos
Finish listening to marketing book
Flesh out my new business idea related to NFTs
Meditate + vocal warmup
Categorize and Reframe into Empowering Outcomes:
Empower my expressiveness
Create and Publish beautiful works of photography art, providing value to attractive models that I'd love to have sex with
Experience Massive Epiphanies in my understanding of marketing
[X] Prioritize and Bring them into Reminders/Trello
Boom, quick and simple today. It is interesting to me, how with my outcomes, it's very rare that I finish them all in one day. I wonder if this is because I overestimate the amount I am capable of getting done or if I'm simply dragging out tasks to take longer than they should, and not staying focused on achieving everything in a quick yet efficient manner.
I promise things will get more spiritual here soon lol.
Yesterday's Outcomes:
[ ] Create and Publish beautiful works of photography art, providing value to attractive models that I'd love to have sex with
- made a little progress here, but didn't deliver any photos yet, although I made some great strides in my photography editing process
[X] Produce an Energizing Healthy Smoothie to Empower me to Exercise
- I did a good job ordering fruits via instacart and made a great smoothie, and then went on a 2.3 mile run, which is good for me
[X] Take Care of My mental & Emotional Health
- felt really good to meditate actually
[X] Generate Vocal Power to Express myself
- felt great to have vocal power
[ ] Experience Massive Epiphanies in my understanding of marketing
- didn't get a chance to work on this because I was still working on the photos
General Thoughts:
I've been feeling a decent amount of resistance today towards journaling on here.
I woke up at 8AM, made coffee, and pulled out my laptop with the intention of journaling to start my day again.
Soon, I was sucked into some random unimportant tasks, such as going through email and setting up some crypto accounts.
It definitely serves as a reminder to me, how important momentum is for my brain. I can easily start the day off on the wrong foot if I open up my computer and I'm sucked into one of the infinite digital opportunities available to me. Perhaps I should move this journal to a physical notebook instead.
Then, the girl who is living with me had a friend visiting who she wanted to get lunch with, so I went and did that with her, and now I'm only getting to my journal at 3PM, feeling tired and already half-way through the day. I didn't "have" to go to lunch with them, so that's partially my fault. I could've let her go alone, even though I needed her help with the photos I'm currently working on. Perhaps it would have been better to let her go, so I could focus on work. It feels dumb to me to go out and get breakfast/lunch before I've accomplished anything for the day...
At the brunch though, I was fairly productive, going through and organizing my "google keep" note files, as I want to start using it again to keep track of various ideas. It was cool to look back through my old notes on there and I noticed how often I used to write out my thoughts and agendas and plans/ideas for various things. My brainstorming ability was quite capable, and I did a good job of keeping track of ideas. I think this will be an important thing for me to continue to do, in order for me to brainstorm youtube video ideas and other business ideas I'm working on.
As for the rest of today, I'm now back and able to get back on track with the outcomes I have left from yesterday.
Things I'm Grateful For:
I'm grateful that I'm in fairly good shape in terms of my body.
I'm grateful for my unlimited float tank membership.
I'm grateful for my renewed interest in crypto, and my renewed optimism in my own abilities as an entrepreneur
I'm grateful that I took action yesterday on photography, and am progressing there
I'm grateful for my coffee machine and learning how to make coffee finally.
I'm grateful for my assistant
What Can I Do Today to Move Closer to My Outcomes:
Edit + deliver 1 model's photos
Finish listening to marketing book
Flesh out my new business idea related to NFTs
Meditate + vocal warmup
Categorize and Reframe into Empowering Outcomes:
Empower my expressiveness
Create and Publish beautiful works of photography art, providing value to attractive models that I'd love to have sex with
Experience Massive Epiphanies in my understanding of marketing
[X] Prioritize and Bring them into Reminders/Trello
Boom, quick and simple today. It is interesting to me, how with my outcomes, it's very rare that I finish them all in one day. I wonder if this is because I overestimate the amount I am capable of getting done or if I'm simply dragging out tasks to take longer than they should, and not staying focused on achieving everything in a quick yet efficient manner.
I promise things will get more spiritual here soon lol.
Life's Playground, modified 3 Years ago at 5/23/21 2:58 PM
Created 3 Years ago at 5/23/21 2:58 PM
RE: Concentration Meditation Log
Posts: 21 Join Date: 3/1/21 Recent Posts
5/23/21:
Today I woke up and was frustrated to learn that my 2019 taxes have still not been fully filed by the IRS, which is impacting something in my business.
So now I have to call the IRS tomorrow and hope that I can get this resolved sooner rather than later. The truth is, that me filing my return late is what caused this, so I'm definitely at fault, and it's another learning experience showing how procrastination can limit me in many unforseen ways.
One of my main focuses over the last couple weeks has been to become more decisive. That was a major topic on my brain during the float tanks. However, the float tanks have also stimulated my brain in certain ways, in that I seem to be more capable of complex abstract thought, which means I'm considering more conscious factors into my decisions. This is not a bad thing, and I've made great strides in the last few weeks of accomplishing things that I would normally procrastinate and living a more balanced life.
Yesterday's Outcomes:
[X] Empower my expressiveness
- I did a longer, new hypnosis meditation which was excellent. I loved it a lot actually and would love to do it again
[ ] Create and Publish beautiful works of photography art, providing value to attractive models that I'd love to have sex with
- nope, somehow didn't find time for this as I was sucked into the tax stuff yesterday
[ ] Experience Massive Epiphanies in my understanding of marketing
- didn't listen to the audiobook either
Overall, I'm feeling like the world is for the taking. I think there's some awesome innovative things I can make progress on here in the near future.
I feel good, and that I'm spending my time in the right way. I'm prepping my brain for serious growth and learning.
Things I'm Grateful For:
I'm grateful for exercise and my maintaining a quality body throughout the years
I'm grateful for my clear skin.
I'm grateful for my expressiveness abilities and desire to film videos
I'm grateful for photography and all the opportunities it has enabled me
I'm grateful for my awesome living location in Vegas
I'm grateful that I don't have to wear masks anymore
I'm grateful for my mom's support
I'm grateful that I have a great business opportunity I can pursue. I think taking action there will give me more momentum and traction towards understanding my direction.
What Can I Do Today to Move Closer to My Outcomes:
[ ] Meditate + vocal warmup
[ ] Edit + deliver 1 model's photos
[ ] Finish listening to marketing book
[X] Prioritize and Bring them into Reminders/Trello
To be honest, I wish I could write this journal more eloquently. And perhaps I can keep tweaking the format until I find a good groove.
One format that I've always resonated with is: 1. things I did well 2. Things I could have done better 3. Lessons Learned 4. Goals for next day
Maybe I'll just give it a shot here and see how that goes
Things I Did Well Yesterday:
Learned about getting a business loan and properly applied
Meditated with a new hypnosis track
Did my vocal warm up
went out to a social event and left my phone in my apartment which forced me to be more social and present
Didn't drink
Exercised
Journaled
Got a morning blowjob
Learned how to make coffee better
Got $25 of free crypto
Things I Could Have Done Better Yesterday:
Journaled immediately upon awakening before getting sucked into email and other tasks
Said no to the brunch and focused on catching up on work instead.
Could have simply edited one photo
Lessons Learned:
Leaving my phone at home is great to enhance socialization abilities
Setting a goal of just editing one photo per day would be fantastic
Meditating feels so good, it's hard to remember how awesome the after feeling is, I simply just have to do it, and embrace the relaxation
Goals For Today:
[ ] Meditate + vocal warmup
[ ] Edit + deliver 1 model's photos
[ ] Finish listening to marketing book
[ ] exercise (yoga + run?)
Cool, so I do like that format a bit better, maybe I can add in the "what I'm grateful for" section as well. I'll keep tweaking this, and I may move to another site for this, so we'll see :p
Today I woke up and was frustrated to learn that my 2019 taxes have still not been fully filed by the IRS, which is impacting something in my business.
So now I have to call the IRS tomorrow and hope that I can get this resolved sooner rather than later. The truth is, that me filing my return late is what caused this, so I'm definitely at fault, and it's another learning experience showing how procrastination can limit me in many unforseen ways.
One of my main focuses over the last couple weeks has been to become more decisive. That was a major topic on my brain during the float tanks. However, the float tanks have also stimulated my brain in certain ways, in that I seem to be more capable of complex abstract thought, which means I'm considering more conscious factors into my decisions. This is not a bad thing, and I've made great strides in the last few weeks of accomplishing things that I would normally procrastinate and living a more balanced life.
Yesterday's Outcomes:
[X] Empower my expressiveness
- I did a longer, new hypnosis meditation which was excellent. I loved it a lot actually and would love to do it again
[ ] Create and Publish beautiful works of photography art, providing value to attractive models that I'd love to have sex with
- nope, somehow didn't find time for this as I was sucked into the tax stuff yesterday
[ ] Experience Massive Epiphanies in my understanding of marketing
- didn't listen to the audiobook either
Overall, I'm feeling like the world is for the taking. I think there's some awesome innovative things I can make progress on here in the near future.
I feel good, and that I'm spending my time in the right way. I'm prepping my brain for serious growth and learning.
Things I'm Grateful For:
I'm grateful for exercise and my maintaining a quality body throughout the years
I'm grateful for my clear skin.
I'm grateful for my expressiveness abilities and desire to film videos
I'm grateful for photography and all the opportunities it has enabled me
I'm grateful for my awesome living location in Vegas
I'm grateful that I don't have to wear masks anymore
I'm grateful for my mom's support
I'm grateful that I have a great business opportunity I can pursue. I think taking action there will give me more momentum and traction towards understanding my direction.
What Can I Do Today to Move Closer to My Outcomes:
[ ] Meditate + vocal warmup
[ ] Edit + deliver 1 model's photos
[ ] Finish listening to marketing book
[X] Prioritize and Bring them into Reminders/Trello
To be honest, I wish I could write this journal more eloquently. And perhaps I can keep tweaking the format until I find a good groove.
One format that I've always resonated with is: 1. things I did well 2. Things I could have done better 3. Lessons Learned 4. Goals for next day
Maybe I'll just give it a shot here and see how that goes
Things I Did Well Yesterday:
Learned about getting a business loan and properly applied
Meditated with a new hypnosis track
Did my vocal warm up
went out to a social event and left my phone in my apartment which forced me to be more social and present
Didn't drink
Exercised
Journaled
Got a morning blowjob
Learned how to make coffee better
Got $25 of free crypto
Things I Could Have Done Better Yesterday:
Journaled immediately upon awakening before getting sucked into email and other tasks
Said no to the brunch and focused on catching up on work instead.
Could have simply edited one photo
Lessons Learned:
Leaving my phone at home is great to enhance socialization abilities
Setting a goal of just editing one photo per day would be fantastic
Meditating feels so good, it's hard to remember how awesome the after feeling is, I simply just have to do it, and embrace the relaxation
Goals For Today:
[ ] Meditate + vocal warmup
[ ] Edit + deliver 1 model's photos
[ ] Finish listening to marketing book
[ ] exercise (yoga + run?)
Cool, so I do like that format a bit better, maybe I can add in the "what I'm grateful for" section as well. I'll keep tweaking this, and I may move to another site for this, so we'll see :p