What Was It?

thumbnail
J W, modified 10 Months ago at 8/11/21 5:36 AM
Created 10 Months ago at 8/11/21 5:32 AM

What Was It?

Posts: 590 Join Date: 2/11/20 Recent Posts
 Hello friends, I would like help with a diagnosis if anyone would be so kind, I would love to hear from someone verified MCTB 3rd path or higher.

A bit of my practice history, I have not been meditating too much for the past 6 months or so, probably an average of an hour a day.  I would best describe it as fluid open awareness mixed with noting. I have kept practice logs here in the past.  
My normal daily experience is generally one of spaciousness, though I do seem to dip into Reobservation and get stressed out by stuff from time to time, it generally doesn't last a super long time when I do.
I have used psychedelics in the past, maybe 1 or 2 psylocibin trips over the past 8 months (small doses), and frequently cannabis when I am at home, but have not used anything in the past 2 weeks or more, as I am in another country.

So last night I was lying in bed and couldn't fall asleep so I just meditated.  At some point the field of perception, sort of out of nowhere, "flipped" where it was like, imagine the spherical visual field as a coin, this was literally just like a coin flipping.  After the flip, I felt awareness move into my head area, with some slight pressure, but less like I was being compressed but like I was the pressure (?)

At that point there was another flip, but where the first time it felt more like the whole field of perception (or a large part of it) this was like maybe a 2x2 inch section of the field.  After the second flip, the pressure expanded into spaciousness, before feeling a sense of void on the right-hand side of my perception that I was sort of swirling/sinking into, to the point where it felt like I was lying on my right side (I was lying face up).  For a few minutes I played with the void and tried to just dissolve it completely.  But I did not want to mess something up so I just stopped.

None of this was particularly awe-inspiring, nor was it really scary, I remember just thinking at some point ("oh, this is kind of interesting") after what had been a couple of hours of boredom/insomnia.

Main question is: was this a cessation/cessations?  I do not recall ever losing consciousness really during this event, though perhaps I could have for a split second during the flip.
I know diagnosing Path is more difficult, and I'm not as concerned by that right now, however if these were cessations I would be inclined to think mid-Path because I have had plenty of stuff like this happen over the past year/year and a half.

Second question, about the right-hand side void thing, anyone had that experience and advice on how to proceed?  It wasn't really scary or anything but it was unchartered territory so I thought it best to take it slow.
​​​​​​​
Thanks in advance, much love!

JW
thumbnail
Oatmilk, modified 10 Months ago at 8/11/21 6:00 AM
Created 10 Months ago at 8/11/21 6:00 AM

RE: What Was It?

Posts: 113 Join Date: 7/30/20 Recent Posts
What's more interesting is the question why you want to know this. The event has happened and now the mind spins stories about what it could be. If I tell you know that this was path x and you give me enough authority to believe this, what would then happen? 
If you reall want this something to be, try to observe your current curiosity and the tendency for the mind to spin stories and seeing  things as "linear" and as "progress" and so on. 
Probably not what you want to hear but you'll understand at some point. 

Best,
thumbnail
J W, modified 10 Months ago at 8/11/21 6:14 AM
Created 10 Months ago at 8/11/21 6:12 AM

RE: What Was It?

Posts: 590 Join Date: 2/11/20 Recent Posts
Hey thanks Oatmilk, I'm sorry if this was not clear from my post, but I'm actually not asking about path.  I am asking if this was a cessation.  I tried to make that clear but apparently it was not.

From my post:
"Main question is: was this a cessation/cessations?"

"I know diagnosing Path is more difficult, and I'm not as concerned by that right now"


To answer your question, why do I want to know whether this was a cessation? 

...Because I think it would be useful to know whether this was actually a cessation or just some A&P event...(?)
thumbnail
Oatmilk, modified 10 Months ago at 8/11/21 6:20 AM
Created 10 Months ago at 8/11/21 6:20 AM

RE: What Was It?

Posts: 113 Join Date: 7/30/20 Recent Posts
Thank you for the clarificationemoticon I guess time will tell! 
thumbnail
J W, modified 10 Months ago at 8/11/21 6:30 AM
Created 10 Months ago at 8/11/21 6:30 AM

RE: What Was It?

Posts: 590 Join Date: 2/11/20 Recent Posts
Indeed! emoticon