the "natty" or "non-dual" state explained - Discussion
disclaimer: to me, the "natty" or "natural state", "non-dual" state, "permanent cessation while conscious", "cessation of dukkha", "Sahaja Samadhi", "freedom from personhood"etc... are more or less all about the same thing.
I had a thought today:
It's funny how my whole life I felt like I didn't belong, or that I was different.
Like many, I used to relate to the famous lyrics: "...i'm a freak, i'm a weirdo, what the hell am i doing here? I don't belong here?"
And the meditation thing made this worse; the deeper I got into this stuff, the more the way I related to myself and others changed, and the more I felt different from others.
I felt that now they couldn't understand me even if they tried.
How could they understand me I thought? The vast majority having never been to a vipassana retreat, let alone know anything about what "stream entry" is?
I was certain that there's no way I could ever feel like a normal person ever again, I had been too far, too deep for far too long.
But today, almost 1 year after the sense of "me" dropped out permanently, I constantly feel just absolutely normal for the first time of my life.
"normal" like I would have imagined as a seeker what "normal" would havefelt like, but couldn't experience at the time.
The most normal you could possibly imagine it's possible to be.
I remember hearing Frank Yang and many realized beings speak like this but I didn't get what it meant as a seeker.
So if you are a seeker with this same question; the key to understand it is that it's not a little "me" or an ego or identity that is experiencing and feeling normal, it's just that in the experience there's no sense of being different anymore, no sense of feeling insecure, no sense of being lonely, no sense of wanting to belong or not belong, no sense of having missed out or fearing missing out etc... no sense of me wanting anything at all.
And it's the same for all of the overly enthusiastic stuff; why "normal" and not blissed out, or amazed or excited about life, or holy, or divine?
Because there's no sense of "me" in the experience to get overly excited about anything.
and without that "me" inside, all we're left with is feeling "normal", undisturbed, clear by default.
there's just nothing and clarity.
the ultimate "natty" or natural state or space.
this description of "natural" just feels right.
or maybe the super-normal state, and the super-natural state.
and btw, It's actually difficult for me to recall how I felt when I used to feel like i was different from others, or what it was like to feel lonely and wanting to belong because the memories in the brain seem to still be there but the feelings are just gone, and even the memories seem to be fading somewhat without the emotional loads to anchor them down.
And today, if i hear the same songs i used to relate and vibe to so much, i feel nothing special vs what it feels like before or after the song
May this helps someone to see more clearly even just a little
-p
I had a thought today:
It's funny how my whole life I felt like I didn't belong, or that I was different.
Like many, I used to relate to the famous lyrics: "...i'm a freak, i'm a weirdo, what the hell am i doing here? I don't belong here?"
And the meditation thing made this worse; the deeper I got into this stuff, the more the way I related to myself and others changed, and the more I felt different from others.
I felt that now they couldn't understand me even if they tried.
How could they understand me I thought? The vast majority having never been to a vipassana retreat, let alone know anything about what "stream entry" is?
I was certain that there's no way I could ever feel like a normal person ever again, I had been too far, too deep for far too long.
But today, almost 1 year after the sense of "me" dropped out permanently, I constantly feel just absolutely normal for the first time of my life.
"normal" like I would have imagined as a seeker what "normal" would havefelt like, but couldn't experience at the time.
The most normal you could possibly imagine it's possible to be.
I remember hearing Frank Yang and many realized beings speak like this but I didn't get what it meant as a seeker.
So if you are a seeker with this same question; the key to understand it is that it's not a little "me" or an ego or identity that is experiencing and feeling normal, it's just that in the experience there's no sense of being different anymore, no sense of feeling insecure, no sense of being lonely, no sense of wanting to belong or not belong, no sense of having missed out or fearing missing out etc... no sense of me wanting anything at all.
And it's the same for all of the overly enthusiastic stuff; why "normal" and not blissed out, or amazed or excited about life, or holy, or divine?
Because there's no sense of "me" in the experience to get overly excited about anything.
and without that "me" inside, all we're left with is feeling "normal", undisturbed, clear by default.
there's just nothing and clarity.
the ultimate "natty" or natural state or space.
this description of "natural" just feels right.
or maybe the super-normal state, and the super-natural state.
and btw, It's actually difficult for me to recall how I felt when I used to feel like i was different from others, or what it was like to feel lonely and wanting to belong because the memories in the brain seem to still be there but the feelings are just gone, and even the memories seem to be fading somewhat without the emotional loads to anchor them down.
And today, if i hear the same songs i used to relate and vibe to so much, i feel nothing special vs what it feels like before or after the song
May this helps someone to see more clearly even just a little
-p
Papa Che Dusko:
Well if I will loose the ability to vibe Radiohead songs then I need not this awakening 
you won't don't worry, all that you'll lose is your inhibitions if you have any so can can be in total union with the song whenever it plays