So I'm having this pehomenon happen today. I've had it from time to time before, but now has gotten more intense again. It's this dark energy that's sort of attached to me on my left side. Best way I can illustrate it is like this drawing:


I've had issues with this since whenever my left side opened up, as I've sort of outlined in my log here.

To describe my current symptoms, whenever I feel into it I get leg cramps. Like bad, needing to scream bad, like the pain is almost unbearable. It's not the first time it's happening, and it's like that in the foot and calf mostly, but if i feel into it higher up I can get cramps in the thigh aswell. In terms of upper body I can get cramps in my lats too, but it's more rare. Also feeling into it on the emotional level I can feel this rage and vomiting being induced. Like I've vomited from it several times today, and woke up now in the middle of the night and immediately started cramping in my calf, making me scream in pain, then more vomiting. It seems to have racing thoughts aswell connected to it, but it's hard to tell as it's sort of outside me, and not only hard, but frankly terrifying as well as just the physical pain is so intense, to fully feel into. It can also have the effect of just draining me completely, like life is being sucked out of me or something. It doesn't necessarily attach to my head all the time either, but I almost allways feel like it's attached at my ancle like in the picture, and whenever I start feeling into it from there I get cramps.

So... what the hell? It's very confusing and difficult to deal with. But I guess I have to just feel into it more. But I feel like it would help to diagnose what it is or could be. Just writing down all this seems to help aswell so there's also that.

Any help and advice, theories, random guesses, shots in the dark are welcome.
Happy easter and hope you all are well

Nihila

If you have pain and vomiting a doctor might help if it is an illness.

I can't be sure from your post, are you thinking it might be an entity of some sort? If that is the case asking it politely in a friendly way to leave you alone might help. Try to stay polite and friendly if you try to communicate with it, you don't want to make it meaner or if it is some kind of psychosomatic thing it could still reflect your own mental state. If it is an entity, that is almost always a human spirit who is confused (not evil, not malicious, just a normal person confused) about being dead. (Not always but the vast majority). Tell it it is dead, it needs to complete its transition to the afterlife and to go towards the light, and to look for guides who are there trying to help it. Explain it is stuck in the wrong place and things will be much nicer for it if it moves on to the spirit realm. Sometimes a spirit is so focused on the physical plane they don't know they are dead, and spirit guides can't get its attention. 

This (below) is a book by a doctor who worked with "mentally ill" patients who were really being bothered by spirits. His wife was a trance medium (spirits would enter her so they could speak through her voice). The doctor used static electricity which was harmless to the patient but which the spirits found unpleasant to drive them off the patients when talking with them didn't help.
​​​​​​​
Thirty Years Among the Dead by Dr. Carl A. Wickland, M.D.
http://galactic.no/rune/spesBoker/Prof%20Carl%20Wickland%20-%20Thirty%20Years%20Among%20the%20Dead.pdf

Hi Jim, thanks for your reply.

I don't think it's physical, I mean it doesn't sound like any disease I've ever heard of, coupled with the fact that it only happens when I feel into it, I think that sort of says it all.

I have been thinking that, but I didn't want to go that far as I don't tend to believe in entities and things like that, but it couldn't hurt to try right? Is there anything specific that makes you think that it would be an entity?

What kind of injuries have you experienced on your left side? Over the course of your life? Sprained ankle, shoulder, hip, knee etc. The sole of the foot has the greatest concentration of nerve-endings in the body. If you sustained significant injury or injury accompanied by strong emotional arousal, along the left side of your body, I think you may have developed what some call guarding, where the pathways of nerve signalling are restricted or shut-down (very layman terms here...). I have experience with this in my practise. No nausea or vomiting, yet, hopefully never. I believe that the discomfort is due to the reactivation of the guarding pathways, like a limb that has gone to sleep while in an awkward position and is recovering. I'm pretty sure I know where mine came from and they are very old. They have caused some pain, restricted to the cushion but there are after affects similar to numbness. Whatever it is did seem impossible to get through at the beginning but I am making progress. I practise Goenka-style vipassanna and have found that pushing hard can cause more pain however laying back almost to the point of not consciously observing the area where the discomfort occurs produces better progress. The discomfort will increase but by not dwelling on it and keeping my attention wide it has changed for the better.

One thing that got me through the early stages was treating the sensation like a distressed child that needed comfort and a sense of security in order to allow them to work through whatever was causing their incoherent upset. No need to really understand what is causing it, just being accepting and supporting.

My 2 cents...

Not really. If it tells you things you can verify that you would have no normal way of knowing, then that would be evidence consistent with an entity. Since you called it "dark energy" I thought that could mean it came from outside yourself. That is usually how people use the term.

If you are not sure what to think about entities, I would just say that the placebo effect is a real effect. That's why they have to have control groups when testing medical treatments. They have to show that people who are given the treatment show more improvement than those not given the treatment. The mind can provide relief from lots of different things, so you are right it can't hurt to try.

If you are interested in other types of alternative treatments you could try prayer or energy healing.

If you are interested in the topic of "entities" these links might be of interest:

Evidence of the Afterlife:
https://sites.google.com/site/chs4o8pt/summary_of_evidence

Nobel Prize winners and other great scientists who believed in paranormal phenomena because of scientific evidence:
https://sites.google.com/site/chs4o8pt/eminent_researchers

"The brain filters consciousness" is a better explanation of the evidence than "the brain produces consciousness".
You can break a filter two ways, you can clog it and you can puncture it. And you can also remove the filter completely. Some brain injuries reduce function (clog the filter) some produce new abilities (puncture the filter) and some remove the filter completely (NDEs).
https://sites.google.com/site/chs4o8pt/skeptical_fallacies#h.w39urdurma7q

Getting rid of spirits:
https://ncu9nc.blogspot.com/2013/03/what-to-do-about-unwanted-spirit-contact.html

My own experiences:
https://sites.google.com/site/chs4o8pt/psi_experience

(Many of the links on the above web pages are obsolete, but you can find them on the web archive.)

Interesting you should say, I was on the same track a while back when trying to figure it out. I haven't had any injuries in my legs, but I had a concussion as a result of falling off a bike when I was like 4, which I believe was on my left side. I was sent to a hostpital because I was vomiting uncontrollibly, I couldn't keep food or water down and had to have an IV. I suppose it could be related, it was a scary experience at the time. Another experience I could think of was when I was punched quite hard on top of my shoulder by an older boy when I was pretty young. Very unsetteling feeling when you don't expect it or have experienced it lol.

Thanks for sharing. I will investigate.

Exactly, that's my thinking as well, how would I know it wouldn't just be placebo/self generated answers. I did try asking it things, but didn't get many answers that didn't seem self-generated, so lucky me I guess, it's no entity. I think I would have shit myself if it actually was because just the idea of it being real terrifies me lol.

Thanks Jim, very interesting. Will definitely check out some of those links.

Sounds like a very traumatic experience. If this was your only reply I would say, seems like you could be "digesting" that old experience now. But...



Unbearable pain and vomiting is pretty extreme. That is worthy of a doctor's visit. 

What might happen if you give Metta to that dark energy? I recall that being the OG way of brightening dark spirits.

The cramping muscles you describe are connected via fascia. Please observe the fourth image with the lats - you can't see it here, but it also connects to the calf.  If the cramping is caused by weakness, tightness or something else, I have no way of knowing. Hell, muscle cramps can also be something like magnesium deficiency, or other electrolytes.



Not to say you have a purely physical problem.
All of this is just me thinking out loud.

Mild to moderate nausea can be reduced by smelling alcohol. This is evidence based and used in emergency rooms.

If you go to a doctor be sure to NOT say a word about dark energy, spirits or meditation, unless you want anti-psychotics strong enough to tranquilize an elephant. They simply are not equipped to help with that.

Oh, and Tara Springett could probably sort this out better than anyone I know.

 Nihila,

I would try to see a doctor who is aware of this side of things and will not, as Aeon warns below, freak out and needlessly pathologize something which may be spiritual/emergence related (or not). Reach out to Daniel Ingram ? (not the composer ...) He's currently on various trips and pretty busy, but still, I think what you describe justifies booking a meeting when possible. I can help you with that if you want, reach out through the messaging portlet.

edit: In any case, I agree that generating positive feelings towards the phenomena in question is always a good idea.
​​​​​​​
Best wishes !

Olivier
 

Thanks shargrol, I think it's purely psychosomatic. I'm saying this as I'm able to feel into it, and have been able to for a couple years, it's not the first time it's happened, though I have been avoiding it due to the pain. I think I had to confront it eventually though, and things are 10x calmer emotionally today compared to yesterday, although I feel a bit shook by it. I don't think it's all fixed, but reduced for sure. The dark energy feels like it's lessened quite a bit, but I still feel it to some degree still.

I'm not very good at generating metta but I suppose I can give it a try.

Could be. I try to stay hydrated and I took som ZMA just in case. But the fact that I'm able to feel into it suggests to me that it's more energetic/psychosomatic than physical.
The vomiting also feels like it's energetic rather than something physical as I've been purging on and off in periods since DN started and it always seems to be proceeded by calm and some release.

I see the vomiting as something positive in this case so I don't think I want to supress it, as it seems to help release whatever's trapped. So no doctor yet at least.

I did buy her book on Healing Kundalini Symptoms and it sort of reaffirmed most of the stuff I've been doing, like working through emotions etc. Didn't really find anything about my symptoms with the nadi's, but I suppose I could reach out to her and ask if she's come across it.


Thanks Oliver, oh yeah Daniel's an MD, I had completely forgotten haha. I have reached out to him about some other things on here, but have not gotten an answer yet.

All in all I think it helped working through it and it was needed, I feel much better today. It's not entirely over but I think feeling into it helped alot. Might try the metta thing aswell later on. Thanks everyone,

lots of love
Nihila

Be careful jumping the gun on judging entirely what it is, psychosomatic is not a pure thing, it's a mix of two things after all, psychology and somatic issues. In other words, it's not one or the other, it's both at the same time, possibly interconnected in a vicious cycle; vomiting loses electrolytes which crashes mood, mood crash makes energy symptoms worse which causes more vomiting etc.

If you vomit as much as you say, chances are you will be low on electrolytes soon, if not already. Bulimics can die this way.
If you get too low on electrolytes, you will have among other things dizziness, moodswings and flu like symptoms (like keto/lowcarb diet flu). Main electrolytes being sodium and potassium, but also magnesium, calcium and phoshor to some extent.
If this continues, emergency medicine can be warranted.

To clarify, I mean consult directly with Tara Springett. From listening to GuruViking podcasts I gather she can read auras, energy and even do clairvoyance to some extent. While she clearly stated neither of those are paid services one can request, she said she does it as part of her consulting when intuition moves her to.

Edit: Smoothie of bananas and table salt, possibly with milk if tolerated, is the easiest way to get electrolytes back in. Bananas have most everything except sodium and calcium.

I think you're overestimating how much I'm vomiting Aeon, haha.

I hope so. Better to know that not know, better safe than sorry.

I know you don't like me bombing you with advice and ideas, but you can just hate me later.

Everytime you post, I am kinda worried because it sounds so intense.
Don't die on us OK?

May you be safe and protected,
May you know true bliss,
May entities only be benevolent in your presence,
May you be free of all suffering,
May you be wholesomely charged by plentiful electrolytes like the Duracell bunny.

I'm fine, I'm no spring chicken.

It's nothing personal, just a boundary thing.

Things have been very peaceful today, so things are looking up. Not to say it's over, but going through it relieved alot of stressful energy I've had the past week.

I don't know how common it is but my understanding is that vomiting is a common part of DN for many. Same with things like ayahuasca, it can be very healing. Not to say that I recommend it for it's own sake, but if it comes up as an energetic thing I don't recommend supressing it either.

The cramping is odd though, but Kevins take on it I think could be right, with the guarding thing. Thinking back, other psychosomatic things like feeling ache relieving and things like that have been present in the same region at times as well. And ache in my throat has been present when swallowing last couple days, only in the left side of my body as well. I'm thinking my left side has been offline for a while and is now coming back online, or something to that effect. Idk, it seems to make sense at least.

Hi, I sometimes have done similar things when dealing with some special kind of energy, metta or more often tonglen, for me it helps knowing and feeling into the various subtle bodies and aim the practices at those places, so try being sensitive though it sounds like you are
I am just about to post a video in the Amrita Mandala thread, about a longer talk about the meridian system, which is another "set" of the subtle body (not the same subtle body as the chakras and nadis, different rules, practices and outcome), relating to the physical body, trauma - etc.. In that video, Baba explains how at some point his trauma would dislocate his bones in the back, so this kind of subtle body goes deep seemingly into the core of the physical body, and is why we can get really messed up physically due to psychosomatic, I know a person who needed to have her arm in a sling at times due to anxiety/PTSD, legs would also get really painful. Maybe you find something helpful there. 
I hope you work it out, best of luck! 

Thanks Oskar, I'll check it out. Been meaning to look closer at the meridian stuff.

Sure thing.