Asaf M's Log.

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Asaf M, modified 1 Year ago at 4/9/23 12:42 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 4/9/23 12:42 AM

Asaf M's Log.

Posts: 47 Join Date: 12/9/22 Recent Posts
Hello.
Startign this log toway in hopes of receiving useful feedback from the wodnerful people here.
Just re-read this chapter: https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-ii-light-and-shadows/24-from-content-to-insight/
in MCTB.
It's one that I find particularly inspiring. I aspire to wokr towards  a level of practice that matches what is described in the more advances examples given in that chapter. I figure that maintaingin this log could help with that goal.

My practice at the moment is focused on tow aspects:
1. Maintain and build a decent level of access concentration, aiming for 2-3, 20-30 min sits per day. Using the breath sensations at the nose region.
2. Develop insight via noting practices: "see, hear, feel", as well as more detailed noting, throughout the day.
I am practicing in daily life, not doing any retreats at the moment as I have small children to care for at this time.

I will check back in here from time to time to share what's come up, and what strategies/techniques I am tryign out. 
Thank you in advance for your input.

here is a link to some of what I've writter here in the past, with some history on my practice so far.
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Asaf M, modified 1 Year ago at 4/10/23 6:55 AM
Created 1 Year ago at 4/10/23 6:47 AM

RE: Asaf M's Log.

Posts: 47 Join Date: 12/9/22 Recent Posts
I had a good sit this morning. Started out alternating with breath senaations between nose and belly.
then went on to noting "see hear feel in/out" 
at some point I got to that place of everytign becoming sort of effervescent. quite pleasantly so. 

I think I will continue going for contentration durign the sits and transitionign into noting practice if it feel right to do so, perhpas in most sits, unless i get into some grovve of deep contration and I wish to seize the opportunity to take it as deep as it will go.

In any case, I just came across a line in MTCB from this chapter

Whatever ultimate truth you want on the spiritual path is to be found in the sensations of the wanting itself.
and it goes on to:
to see this, a shift must happen in which the drive becomes driven to understand the sensations of that drive itself rather than looking to future sensations for satisfaction and understanding. 

I am going to keep this in mind now. it helps to guard agaist that trap of trying to use insight/conetration practices to fabricate some future sensations

seems quite effective to pay attention to whatever is occuring now from the angle described above.
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Asaf M, modified 4 Months ago at 12/12/23 1:13 AM
Created 4 Months ago at 12/12/23 1:13 AM

RE: Asaf M's Log.

Posts: 47 Join Date: 12/9/22 Recent Posts
Read though many of kenneth Folks blog posts yesterday, including the yogi toolbox.
I resonate with the 'throw it all in the grider, and it comes out awake' approach.
I very often sense vipassana as being this sort of engine that we keep running, kind of like feeding coals to the fire in a steam engine.
It's very much a digestive process.

So I am sitting there just noting away, and I notice the discomform of just sitting there. homing in on that, seeing the chiken and egg phenomenon of the discomfort being perpetuated by the desire to aviod it, and by the activites that we take to seek distraction from it.
Reading through the two quotes in my previous post, they are very much relevant here.

I went through a period of  usng variations of 'savoring discomfort' as the noting phrase. It occured to me that it indeed makes sense for the digestive process of vipssana  to being with savoring.
By savoring discomfort, its as if I was using the savoring mindset to cancel out the aversion assosiated with discomfort, much the way two opposite sound waves cancel each other out. 
'Investigating' has a neutral feel, while 'savoring' has decidedly non-aversive, non-avoidant connotations, along with closely discerning connotations, and so works well for noting dukkra closely.

Somehow this led me to the following phrase which I kept repeating over and over again: 'how much discomfort is there in this nanosecond?'
Then I tried to go even smaller, to the femtosecond scale.
Basically what I was doing was looking at dukkha in the imediate now, as close to real time as I could.

It occured to me that thinking of doing this practice  as a repeating 'series of nanoseconds' would not work.
I have to just ask about THIS nanosecond.

Quite alot of significant investigation was set in motion following this, probably more than I could take the time to write here. Alot of it happened during what would have been sleep time during the night. (As a note in case I need to remember this later: It included exploring identity at the DNA level).

In retrospect, I was using dukka as the anchor, and viassana was happenign as transitent sensations passed though relative to this anchor,as 'subtle distractions' in TMI terms. 
Seems like a good strategy: anchor not on the breath, anchor on one of the three charateristics, note it using a meaningfull sentence to keep the anchor, then notice all the transient stuff that passes though.
When dukkha is the anchor, annata becomes apparent in the fleeting distractions that tug at this anchor as they pass, so right there we have two of the three characteristics.

The other thing that occured here was that discomfort was made to disappear, in a sense, by going down to the cern level, particle accelarator timescale. Going into the emptyness. Seems like nibaana is right here at femtolevel timescale, the quantum level. The immeidate now. At this scale, it is too small of a scale for fabrications to be constructed, so we are left with the unfabricated.
Brings to ming approaching zero degress kelvin. Though temperature referecnes (aside from the cooolness that is nibbana) doesn't resonate as much as space/time references right now.

I then realized that this time technique shares similarities with Daniel's 'keeping the context of the room' approach to deactivating the default mode netowrk.
Daniel is using space for this, though we can also use time. we can expand into space to cancle the default mode, or, we can go into a small time scale.
Its as if the default mode network exists in a particular band of the scale in both space and time, if we zoom far out/in for either space and/or time, the deafault mode network is not active in that range. Curious to hear your thoughts on this.
Martin, modified 4 Months ago at 12/12/23 4:19 PM
Created 4 Months ago at 12/12/23 4:19 PM

RE: Asaf M's Log.

Posts: 803 Join Date: 4/25/20 Recent Posts
Absolutely!

I remember an occasion when I did that at the dentist. Just sat in the chair noticing the the particulate blips of experience disappearing almost as quickly as they popped into existence, happy as a clam.

Time is always an element of suffering/self. That sense of continuation is the product of stitching together by the mind, without which, nothing substantial enough to cling to can arise. 
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Asaf M, modified 4 Months ago at 12/13/23 1:31 AM
Created 4 Months ago at 12/13/23 1:31 AM

RE: Asaf M's Log.

Posts: 47 Join Date: 12/9/22 Recent Posts
This morning I experiemented widening the timescale.
There was persistent tension in the back muscles. From the perspective of 'lets say these sensations are going to be this way for a billion years'
comes an acceptance of the situation. no sense in resisting or trying to avoid it for a billion years.
This also works on the attachement end as well; obessions, compulsive thoughts.
'This thing I keep planning, lets keep planning it for a billion years' from that perspective, it looses its luster, one feels one has had enough with it, disenchanted.
I am basically doing noting practice and experimenting with perspective, seeing how context affects the resitance to/obsession with sensations.
Widening the timescale leads to acceptance. 'I am going to be with this for the long haul, might as well get comfortable with it'
Or conversely, leads to disenchantement 'I dont feel like obessing over this thing forever'

The Main thing I am aiming for is to keep noting and keep the vipassana engine running.
To be in that zone for a higher percentage of the time.

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