Hey all,

I've posted a couple times recently regarding my practice, which has been bombastic for the past several months. I see flashing lights whenever I close my eyes and am constantly experiencing odd energy currents in my body. I can sleep at night, but only by giving my body and mind a very direct order to shut off. I recently listened to TMI on audiobook, and really resonated with the interlude that covered Meditative Bliss. These really rapturous vibrations were something I wanted to cultivate for a long time, but now they're often just annoying and overwhelming. It feels like something is blocked. I have been trying to practice more Metta and cultivate wholesome mindstates, as that's what's recommended. I'm incredibly determined to move through this stage, I'm starting to see some success. 

Based on MCTB criteria, I'm guessing I'm flailing around in the Dark Night territory, and occassionally popping up into Equanimity for a breath. One factor I wanted to get people's opinions on is the effects of Concerta or similar stimulants on their practice. I have ADHD and take 36mg Concerta everyday, and often 5mg of ritalin in the afternoon for full coverage. 

I have a new baby and I'm starting school soon, so it would be irresponsible to go off the meds, but sometimes I wonder if the Concerta is making practice way more intense, even though it is generally a stabilizing force in my life. Another factor is that I have a tight clenching sensation in my upper left abdomen, which tightens up when the meds come on. often the energy through this area is incredibly intense and strong emotions can occur when it's buzzing. I'm 38 years old and physically quite healthy, but this area of my body has been tight and uncomfortable for awhile now. I've had tests done and there are no health concerns, so I just practice equanimity and I'm gentle with myself. 

One other random note is that I wonder if perhaps I have some kind of stress related gut issue like Hiatal Hernia or Spastic Colon and the stomach is spasming and vibrating against the Vagus Nerve. I've heard the Vagus Nerve can cause Kundalini phenomenon in unexpected ways. 

Anyway, there's a random smear of thoughts appropriate for some advertising their own ADHD lol, please let me know if you've navigated similar territory.