Disorientation / fast-forward feeling?

Daniel D, modified 2 Months ago at 9/13/23 3:54 PM
Created 2 Months ago at 9/13/23 3:54 PM

Disorientation / fast-forward feeling?

Post: 1 Join Date: 9/13/23 Recent Posts
I've meditated for five years, with the last year being a much more dedicated daily practice. My meditation is generally a mix of breathing and body awareness and loving kindness. Main goal is learning to “just be” as I connect to what actually is. I’ve had a surprising range of experiences with this practice: ecstatic joy / sadness, cascades of distant memories, sense of dissolving into the surroundings, filled with light. I sense awareness filling up thought forms and sensation and then relaxing back into gentle “being.” I am not concerned with the level of attainment or acheievment beyond learning to be present and cultivate equantimity.
For the last few months, I've had an occasional experience that's difficult to describe, but I sometimes have a great disorientation when I wake up at night, or on occasion during the day. It can be like experiencing life in in a fast-forward mode like scrubbing through video at 3x speed. If I sit (or am laying down at nigh) with eyes closed it is a bit overwhelming, with a sense of rapidly shifting equilibrium and focus. Generally this sense goes away with meditation, but the other day it seemed to get stronger towards the end of a session. This is not something I’ve really experienced before the last year.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? I also have an ongoing medical condition, so I'm trying to determine if this is unrelated to meditation practice (that is, something physical from disease or treatment or aging), or if that is actually related to learning to let go — learning that there really is no place to stand. Once awareness is freed from thought forms and from the body…  is my mind / spirit trying to provide a lesson in being peaceful even when being disoriented and overwhelmed?

Your thoughts on what's happening or suggestions for what I may study to learn about this are welcome.