What was this? Extremely dull awareness suddenly state changed to awake.

finding-oneself *, modified 1 Month ago at 10/14/23 1:47 PM
Created 1 Month ago at 10/14/23 1:47 PM

What was this? Extremely dull awareness suddenly state changed to awake.

Posts: 310 Join Date: 1/7/14 Recent Posts
So this for me is somewhat rhetorical to ask but I nonetheless don't know exactly what this is. And it may not matter what it was.

There are a&p events of course. I've also heard of state shifts (like from DN to EQ, or LowEQ to Mid/HiEQ). But the context is what was weird to me.

Background: Lately I've been doing pretty long sits, and getting to EQ every day I practice it seems. If I had to guess I'm mostly in a mix of dukkha ñanas and EQ... In over 10 years post A&P event its the first time I've felt like I am "walking around in EQ" at work/home.

Experience: I was pretty far into a sit, maybe 40 minutes. It was a mix of different modes of attention. First ok attention, not the best but ok. Later the attention Included getting very sleepy and dull... to the point it felt like I wasn't even meditating or meditating good at all. Like I was falling asleep and getting hypnogogic even... Take this with a grain of salt. I was so dull it's hard to perfectly describe it.

So I was very dull and sleep and out of no where it felt like space opened up peripherially and the center of visual field zoomed in really quick like it shot down a tunnel of unknown length. I could even visually see the tunnel made out of the blackness of my eyelids/the inner light that is always there.

Immediately after I was totally awake, surprised and even slightly over excited (which I tempered by just returning to the sensatios in the present).

The main thing is how I'm surprised how such apparently shit seeming medition can lead to a "weird" experience + suddenly being awake.

Which is in itself a lesson about impermanence and equanimity. I.e. "don't feel bad your sit is dull, things will change at a moments notice anyway).

I just can't belive such dull medition, apparenly not using my attention much, can make someone change stages.

I know no one can know for sure for me, im sure more seasoned people can impart some perspective. Thanks.