Hello members.  I learned about this group while reading the intro to Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha.  I came across this book after listening to a podcast where Daniel Ingram was the guest.  I recently (June 2023) had the most profound experience of my life in a breathwork class I took by accident.  I thought the class was for learning how to breath for stress reduction.  I owned three businesses so I needed stress reduction.  What happened was completely unexpected and mroe powerful and transformative than anything in my life and I've had a very interesting life.  Now, only a few months later, my life is on a COMPLETELY differnent path.

Within about 5 minutes of breathing in a particular way, I felt tingling sensations throughout my body then it felt like electricity shot out of my body, along with my soul which seemed to melt with universal consciousness.  I remember thinking "Oh shit (sorry), I am here again." like I've been there before and then I started getting downloads of information about life, existance and purpose.  I had no idea my body was laying in a breathwork class.  My friend who was there with me, said that I was laughing and crying and that my body was shaking.  I thought I was in another dimension.  The "universal consciousness" was loving, brilliant, and funny. The experience was as real as this life. I said, "thank you for letting me remember." and telepathically "it" asked if I wanted to learn more.  Of course I wanted to learn more as this was already absoutely amazing but then I was faced with a monster and was going to have to die to learn more.  I didn't want to die.  "It" told me that my life is an illustion.  I thought of my family and refused to die.  "It" told me that I was my mom, my dad, my friends and that I was everything." I was very confused and insisted on leaving.  I didn't want to die.  I returned to my body but was still so disorented I thought I was still in that world. I gathered my belonings an got out of the breathwork class which wasn't even half over.  It took me a few moments and a phone call with my family to reorient.  

I was so shaken up by what happened, I tried talking with the instructor afterwards and she just looked at me like I was crazy and didn't respond. I went back to my resort room (I was at a health and wellness resort in Arizona) and started doing online research.  When I returned home a few days later, the experience I had during breathwork happened to me again but completely unprovoked by breathwork.  It was terrifying.  I remember saying, "I get it, we are all one but I don't want to die. I like this illusion." My heart was pounding so hard, I could barely breath.  It literally thought I was going to die.  I finally got on my hands and knees (which I never do) and prayed to God to make it stop.  It stopped but happened again a few days later.  Again I prayed and it stopped.  I thought I opened some weird portal and I was scared.  I started taking online courses and reading everything I could find.

Since then I have hired an array of breathwork instructors, energy healers and a film crew to document what I am going through. While I have learned a lot about the benefits of breathwork, I am not working with practicioners who have ever had my experience.  I would love to find spiritual guidance to help me grow on this experience.  I can pay for a teacher or teachers.  I just need to know where to look.  I would like to note that in my experience I realized the importance of living a life of service.  Since my experience I have sold practically everything I own, walked away from 2 of my 3 businesses and am winding down the 3rd (where I had over 100 employees) and I have started a non profit to provide free breathwork training to mothers from abusive families. I understand that most people heal trauma in breathwork and I am working with a specialist in South America who does whomb alchemy and holotropic breathwork trianing.  Through my studies I have learned the many benefits of breathwork which are vast and amazing but the cases like mine, with spiritual awakenings are rare.  Any advise is GREATLY appreciated. 

Next week I can add an attachment of the documentary introduction as well.  I'm interested in interviewing facilitators, experts in spiritual awakenings, psychology and consciousness as well as anyone whose life has been deeply impacted by breathwork.  

I really appreciate your time in reading my experience and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for any time and consideration you put into responding.  Wishing everyone a happy, healthy new year.

Warm regards,
​​​​​​​Christi

hey

Sounds like you're going through A&P.

https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iv-insight/30-the-progress-of-insight/4-the-arising-and-passing-away/

Hey Christi,

It's nice to have you here! I'd say what you're describing is a pretty normal thing that happens to spiritual practitioners when they start to get deeper into it, be they breath work folks, meditators, yoga yogis (haha), etc. For me, when I went on my first meditation retreat at IMS I had a huge thing of lightening going down my spine for 5 or 6 hours, it felt crazy pleasurable, but I started to physically shake faster than I can consciously do, and I remember being worried about accidentally dropping and shattering the glass dishes at dinner (later I would figure out this specific type of spiritual opening usually gets labeled as Kundalini awakening).

My biggest advice to you would be to slow down a bit. It can happen that for a lot of people these spiritual openings are "oh shit!" moments, where a lot of energy and excitement comes up, and we're thinking we have to completely change everything to accommodate it, but if just let things be they will settle all by themselves. The other nice thing to note is we don't have to completely throw ourselves into a spiritual life to have a good spiritual practice. I've found that meditating for 30-60 minutes/day and going on retreats once or twice a year was plenty for me for a long time past my kundalini awakening to deepen my spirituality in meaningful ways. I'd say to go forward you're going to want to do consistent practice, but it would also be worth it to establish a few different kinds of spiritual practice as well. So from personal experience I've found breath work to be very energizing, which is great, but it can also be useful to have a practice like metta or breath meditation (to help calm and collect the mind if it gets too energized), or walking meditation (to help ground), or maybe even something like vipassana or inquiry to help explore the mystery (like when you experienced universal consciousness, what was conscious of the consciousness? Was it you? The universe? Was consciousness conscious of itself?? What even is a "you"? Sometimes these things are so strange!). Basically having different practices for different moods - an accelerator, breaks, something to do when you're curious, etc.

Also since you're familiar with MCTB, make sure to take a look at the spiritual map section. Awake it's your turn by Angelo DiLullo is also a very good book about this type of stuff.

+1

​​​​​​​Christi, I strongly suggest you contact Daniel Ingram directly. His work as an ER physician and his work with the Emergent Phenomenology Research Consortium is directly focused on experiences like yours. If anyone can help you or point you in the right direction, it's Daniel or someone he knows.  

I'm sending you a DM from this website with his email address.

<<Message sent>>

- Chris M

Yeah, that's actually exactly what I did after my Kundalini event, and he was very nice and helpful, and it was really a good orientation.

Thanks Geoffrey.

And Christi, Geoffrey's advice to slow down is very, very good. I agree with him. Give yourself time to adjust and accommodate what's happened, and seek the kind of guidance I suggested.

Hello Nihila,

I ordered the book on Amazon a few days ago but I found a recording of it on YouTube and have been listening for the past 2 days.  I got the the part about A&P and do see the similarities and really appreciate the guidance.  Thank you. 

Hello Geoffrey,

Thank you for your thoughtful repsponse.  I wish I would have had the advise to slow down from the begining because I have uprooted and changed practically everything about my life to center around this experience.  Now I am left thinking "OMG, what am I doing?"  I cannot help but think its the right path because of what I experienced and what I learned when I was in that "other dimenstion" but walking away from my businesses, people and home has  isolated me and I need to be realistic about my capabilities to embrace this new path.  Thankfully I have a supportive family but I'm used to taking care of everyone and everything and I am literally flying through my financial resources to embark on this new path.  I wish breathwork practisioners had a responsibility to provide information to people who might have these very serious reactions.  I was left to my own devices and it was a scary road to wind up on.  If I wasn't so curious in the face of some very scary experiences, I could have ended up in a mental institution.  Now I am just exploring, what really happened to me and if I should build on that experience to further evolve myself/spirit as I believe that evolving is our greatest gift as humans and I desire to be the best version of myself.  Again, thank you Geoffrey.

Warm regards,
​​​​​​​Christi 

Hello Chris,

Thank you for your message and private DM with details to connect with Daniel Ingram directly.  I wanted to publically share my gratitude for your thoughtful response.  It is wonderful to know that there are people out there who not only have gone through these experiences but who care enough to share their stories and connect me with people who can help guide me.  

Warm regards,
​​​​​​​Christi 

Yeah, I feel you. These things can definitely be confusing and overwhelming sometimes. My kundalini stuff happened about a month or so after I had broken up and moved out with my long term partner, into a city I was still new in, and COVID was still raging. So it was an isolating time for me as well.

The first piece of good news is that if you were managing three businesses simultaneously before, you have skills and capability, and so I'm sure you'll land on your feet. The second piece of good news is that curiosity will take you very far in spirituality - definitely lean into it! Read books, try new practices, and get out and explore! If you'd like you could start a practice log over here, and just keep logging what's going on, and people on here occasionally chime in with advice, practices, etc.

There was a quote from one of the first books on Buddhism I ever read that's stuck with me since then