Hey ya'll. I'm excited to finally start this practice log. Thanks to all of you for contributing to this great forum. Here we go

Life goal: come out of suffering and inspire health
Theme: zestful ease
Today's practice (method/goal): feel out to feel good cuz I'm feeling low today

my post practice assessment:
Mindfulness: medium
Investigation: low
Energy: low
Rapture: low
Tranquility: medium
Concentration: medium
Equanimity: medium

Things that seem significant: there's a drop in enjoyment, work feels harder, even fun things like skiing today had fearful thoughts of dread were there and I fell a few times, ouch. Yet there's an overall "okayness" because I've been here before and so what.

In formal sitting I can reliably access flow either right away or atleast by 20mins. Flow is tingling sensations, everywhere now but most reliably in middle of body. Since getting back from retreat the other week where i was practicing a few things but notably Do Nothing, See Out but mostly Feel Out - doing inventory, float or cover of body sensations, there's a new flow in neck area. Previously there had been tension. Overal there's letting go as a theme and dropping throughout the day. It feels bad so I'm leaning into Feel Good techniques, letting go and alternating with Noting Feel and Hear Out. Also going to sauna, being with friends, skiing is helping! Trying to balance for sustainable progress as this lack of equinimity was a recent insight i'd like to remember!

Hey Louise !!! 

Welcome !!! Woo !!! 

​​​​​​​Sounds good so far, low mood can be par for the course, keep logging. 

Thanks Bahiya Babe!

Today's log
Feb 16th 2024
Noticing Gone with kindness, mostly feel out and some hear and see out
30 mins, sitting on zoom with fellow folks meditating. Zoom time is not ideal as I'd like to be working at that time but it's 10x easier to meditate together each doing our own practice so I'm prioritizing this support

Noting gone in feel out is a releif like letting go but also eerie... creepy. Visual field is pixalated, fuzzy. Heart beat is fast, thumping which I don't like so focusing on the gone part is helpful to have a practice focus.

Background practice: throughout day noticing body tension, releasing tension, smiling,  repeat is more flowing, fluxing, pulsing

"Thanks Bahiya Babe!"

lol This made me laugh! 

From now on you shall be known as Bahiya Babe!  

I took notes awhile ago on my phone so I'll post em here now

Feb 25 2024
Doing official practice last few days has been difficult, avoiding sitting down. Craving arising (wanting to shop for bathing suit - embarasing) More physical pain, soreness, tired, sleeping more, challenging working would rather clean. Visual field is intense. Headache. Walking, feeling the ground, hearing wetness spring squishing, wind, sun is intense. Sitting in sun, noticing pleasant, rest, release, release, noting but not interested in noting... ordered Wake Up To Your Life by Ken Mcload. Recommended by Shargrol's blog
https://shargrolpostscompilation.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html?m=1#my-favorite-books
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Feb 26th 2024 Monday<br /><br />I'm feeling blah, icky, grasping for something. Looked at bathing suits for hours online. Yuk. So this is familiar. I want escape. I can't remember how to get out except go on retreat... hmmm. I'm doubting "progress". Thinking "this is not it". Consuming media but unsatisfied. Awhh.<br />I am going to journal answering some questions, what have I been practicing, where is the barrier, what have I learned, what do I think is happening, what action next. Awhhhh cycles...

Feb 28 2024 Wednesday

Technique: feel loving kindness sensation in chest, stay in jhana 1 for 12 minutes

To come out of suffering and inspire health

This felt playful. 6 r's (feel love, radiate. If tense, release, smile, return) I looked up the dhamma sukha website details on self guide practice and found advanced guidance on moving through jhanas and determination with intending timing and this is to make it possible to radiate love when visiting someone or if In pain to reduce. 6 r's practice helps


I really cherish the brightmind in person retreat in January. My fav part was each doing our own practice but together. So powerful

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March 25th, 2024

Life goal: come out of suffering and really be here

Leading edge: okay with not okay

Today's goal: 30mins practice noting freestyle outloud (muliplayer on zoom), then 20mins silent feel out then 10mins feel love (also on zoom)


Mindfulness: medium

Investigation: medium

Energy: medium

Rapture: medium

Tranquility: low

Concentration: medium

Equanimity: low to medium


Things that seem significant: overal there is flatness in experience. Tired, heavy, not wanting to do any formal practice. Tension in chest, expansion everywhere else including neck and head. Grasping is releasing. Meditating with group on zoom is better than practicing alone bc it's a set time and place and friendly faces so reduces the need for decision or motivating. Really appreciating those folks who show up with me. Hearing their labels from noting is fascinating.. it's expanding my experience. Noticing that default practice is feel out flow. Tingling vibrating expansion contraction

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April 21st Sunday- no med
Life goal: come out of suffering and really be here
Leading edge: okay with not okay, dissolving between there and in here (see out and see in, hear in and hear out)
Today's goal:
Practice: clarify for 15 mins, practice noting see hear feel

Mindfulness: low medium
Investigation: low medium
Energy: medium
Rapture: medium
Tranquility: medium
Concentration: medium
Equanimity: medium high

Things that seem significant:
Last few weeks, feeling flow, arising passing, contraction expansion and mental balance has been medium high, daily meditating is easeful when practice 30mins for social mediation then I sit another 30min silent solo. The whole "I should meditate because I want to reach this goal" is dissolving. Also, the whole clinging to "I make more progress when I'm on retreat than daily regular life" is also loosening. I'm grateful!/data/user/0/com.samsung.android.app.notes/files/clipdata/clipdata_bodytext_240422_102629_937.sdocx

April 22nd, 2024
Life goal: come out of suffering and really be here
Leading edge: okay with not okay, dissolving between there and in here (see out and see in, hear in and hear out)
Today's goal:  experiment with noting to experience spontaneity flow
Practice: 30 mins, social meditation, practice formless style, followed by 30 mins Do Nothing

Mindfulness: medium
Investigation: high
Energy: high
Rapture: med-high
Tranquility: high
Concentration: medium high
Equanimity: high

Notes: I love social meditation and I feel a real sense of kinship with the folks I'm grateful to practice with. In review I notice that I noted silently (body tension, thinking) and noted out loud (what is this?, there is a path that leads to the end of suffering). Hearing others note things like unwholesome thinking, back pain etc helped me realise resistant to those experiences. I practiced taking in what others noted while noting my own experience, playing with it. Dissolving inner and outer. Lots of change, flow, expansion contraction, pleasant unpleasant and neutral.

Following this sit, 30 mins of do nothing I returned to posture, dropped noting and just sat. I noticed tension moving around from chest, to back ribs, dissolving, then heart pounding, then relaxing, then tension in heart, moving to tightness in armpits, releasing, opening. Generally neutral, pretty neat experience and a contrast to previous way of resisting/data/user/0/com.samsung.android.app.notes/files/clipdata/clipdata_bodytext_240422_102815_692.sdocx

Louise !!!! Hello !!!!! 

Practice sounds good. Nice somatic awareness. I highly recommend from time to time putting aside noting and just diving into the body, if that's something You're inclined to. You can also bring the noting back in for any complex emotions or physical discomforts. 

Noticing the interplay of tension, attention and relaxation is really good practice and a sort of fractal of the whole journey.

​​​​​​​Nice !!

Bahiya Baby! Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Here's Today's log
April 23rd 2024
Intention: experiment with just sitting and sponteneous practice to develop clarity, balance, concentration. 30 mins multiplayer, 30 mins silent

Lots of feel body sensations and hear in mental talk. Release return. Feeling change in chest, contraction, expansion. Clarity and concentration was higher and things felt intense, chest is uncomfortable. See is pixalated, fluxing, flowing. So I added some metta mental talk and feel good body sensations and I noticed heart rate go up. Release, return to relaxation.

​​​​​​​I wonder what would be useful to increase balance equinimity. I ask because I want to continue to practice and awaken sustainably and in the past I have stopped practicing in part because of lower balance

April 25th 2024

practice: 30 mins, 3 people, formless then 30mins, silent solo but with 7 others, no intention

formless is fun experimenting, observing, pulsing, community and peace arising. Can feel the dark cloud lifting

silent sit was spontaneous, eyes open see change, feel body, tension in chest, relaxing, flow, tingling lower body, head clear,still, noticing subtler pressure and tension arising passing.
 
Earlier this morning listening to Vince Horne describe Body sensations, Charge, Mindsates and Thoughts. This brought play and ease to practice.

The other day I was worried about balance but today I moved through different layers of experiencing and clarifying body sensations and mindstates helped bring more balance

May 1 2024
intention: explore balance, investigation, wisdom.
​​​​​​​Cat sitting on lap

45mins feeling body, practicing zooming in, zooming out. Feeling right effort. Pressure, light tingling, coolness, heat, relaxing 

30 mins: practice "May____arise" filling in blank with wholesome aspirations or noting present arising of wholesomeness and seeing how the two become one at times. Also given that this was practice out loud with others in spontaneous order, there was dissolving of boundaries, community arising.

20mins feeling body sensations, spaced out but alert. Going to work now

May 14th 2024

Todays practice. There was sadness, spaciousness, anticipation. 30 mins dropping hot coals "i don't have to_____" felt subtle tension release, relief, connection. Cool body tingling, chest tension softening

talked with a loved one who recently had a friend die. I noticed more tenderheartedness, sponteneity and love.

Then 30 min zen relay noting "there is breathing" then, "as breathing, therr is investigation" and so on. I noticed it was easy to embody the previous persons note and then feel into what i was feeling then note that. Lack of distressing confusion which is a nice relief.. less resisting the gropping and grasping part of life. Noting "don't know" more. There are flavours of this i'm enjoying exploring. 

Then 30 mins silent sit. Hearing mental content is intense. Subtle annoyance. So injecting inquiry but that's more agitation. Feeling whole body, feeling feet is calming. There is resistance to unpleasantness of quantity of mental talk. It's like i got locked into this subtle hell of "i don't like all this mental talk" and forgot i had options, wisdom

I think i'd like to remember this:
- get up and do something else.
- walk, work, journal.
- balance with loving friendlyness 
- release, relax, smile, return to heartfullness.

​​​​​​​There are so many options

June 17th 2024

30mins zen relay noting, with others. Felt concentrated, connected to others, equanimity, happy, tingling

30mins solo silent with outloud noting May concentration arise. As concentration, I am _____ (relaxed, tingling, expansive etc and some chest heart tension

Then listened to Richard Shankman talk on jhana. Focused on body sensations.

Then 30mins exploring relaxed, letting go, doing less, feel tingling, eyes relaxed, face then head. Wanting to feel whole body but noticed slightly tension so allowed what was to be and expand. Felt some tension go away but then at end wanted to get up and stretch so I did go for walk to garden. Felt relaxed. Good job !
Noticing confusion ans doubt. Evening - got around to reading tab I left open earlier Samaññaphala Sutta: The Fruits of the Contemplative Life.  This: abandoning the hindrances, my notes

Abandon Covetousness,

- cleanses mind of covetness

Debt, loan, invest

- Unedebtedness


Abandon Ill will and anger,

- sympathetic with welfare of all

Sickness, pain, illness

- good health


Abandon sloth and drowsiness,

- Mindfull, alert, persipient of light

Prison, bondage

- release from prison


Abandon Restlessness and anxiety

- undisturbed, mind inwardly stilled

Slave, subject to others, not subject to oneself, unfree to move about

- freedom


Abandon uncertainty, doubt

- dwell having crossed over uncertainty, with no perplexity regards to skillful mental qualitities

A road through desolate lands, (fear of losing property), unsafe

- a place of security


All hindrances have been abandoned, I become glad, enraptured, tranquile then sensitive to pleasure, feeling pleasure then mind becomes concentrated. Then the 4 jhanas

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June 21st 2024

Epic dreams last night

Summer solstice, beautiful full moon and james birthday at joanys


Morning body joy and ease

Meditation intention to progress in jhanas

Noting May Concentration Arise and As Concentration, I Notice ____: pleasant, buzzing in chest, narrow focus, irritation with buzzing energy, breath is cool and sharp like mint fresh, out breath release then more settling, heartbeat less thumping, awareness in face, moving, spreading, floaty thoughts, more relaxed, thoughts quieter, muted, wondering what jhana I'm in, trying to focus, effort then release and relax, quieter ear fuzz hum buzzing, tingling very light on skin, eyes open and talking tingling sensations remain, breathing is spacious feel good/data/user/0/com.samsung.android.app.notes/files/clipdata/clipdata_bodytext_240716_130246_365.sdocx

July 3 2024

Multidimensional meditation with social daily. Then joined Wednesday jhana group with Vince. Connection bad so just practice 30mins solo


Noticing interest in exploring 1st jhana more fully. May 1st jhana arise. As 1st jhana I notice cool tingling etc

Confusion thought arose and I noticed curiosity for sub jhanas. I inclined towards 1st jhana and started to notice equanimity and then thought.. is this 4th jhana? Aha... 1st jhana, subjhana 4. Yay! Exciting to explore more/data/user/0/com.samsung.android.app.notes/files/clipdata/clipdata_bodytext_240716_130503_669.sdocx

June 2024 jhana community intro

I was inspired to join jhana group when I came across a recording of Kenneth Folk describing and demonstrating the first 4 jhanas (it's on Budhist Geeks soundcloud). I appreciated how accessible this was. I also remembered a key takeaway from Daniel Ingram's MCTB book echoing the wisdom of the Buddha that friendship is a great way to awakening.

Currently this is my practice: daily formal sitting 30-60mins in morning. Usually 30mins social meditation (basic noting, metta, formless). Silent sits focus is the body and/or metta primarily. Feeling whole body, in parts or a sort of do nothing approach of just being/sitting. Regardless of the focus space, I can consistently access cool, tingling, pleasant state but i'd like to be more intentional. The benefits I see in my life are increased balance. Also clarity and presence.

I'm not sure if I have formally learned about the jhanas other than from experience. I value the vipassana (goenkaji) retreats because for many years they provided a quiet space for deep practice. Although this is not explicitly taught there, this tradition taught me about relaxing. Since 2019 i've been exploring right effort and balancing on and off retreat experience for a sustainable practice. This led me to unified mindfullness and Toby's brightmind community which i've found to be a wonderful group and practice has become overal effortless and equanimity increasing. Also using metta as object with TWIM has been healing

I'm curious about developing agility with entering, hanging out and exiting the jhanas.

My growing edge is asking for help, feeling good, being okay with not being okay, balancing meditation geekery and something about not knowing, form and formlessness is very intriguing /data/user/0/com.samsung.android.app.notes/files/clipdata/clipdata_bodytext_240716_130752_789.sdocx

Monday july 15th 2024

Noticing unsatisfactoriness in tv shows, sorta blaze
Shoulder blade muscle spasm
Mild interest in jhana practice
Today 20mins 6 sense noting, social meditation, felt more clear and pleasant then 30mins silent practice, noting pleasantness, straight posture, seeking jhana then releasing, getting wider attention, drifting off, noticing. Its been a few days no practice - flower harvest,hiking, going out and i'm grateful for this practice community

Tomorow i'm facilitating

Jhanic Noting

Frame:

______

Options:

Multiple Choice: A) Basic Noting (Pick One: "Breathing") B) Note any state of body or mind that feels like a sign of deepening Concentration. C) Binary Noting: "Releasing" or "Allowing", when distractions arise.

Compression:

1-2 Words

Order:

Sequential or Spontaneous

Size:

2+ players

Time:

X minutes

Attribution:

Kenneth Folk
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July 16th 2024

There is back shoulder pain, 20mins social Jhanic noting( attribution kenneth folk). there is opening, freedom from pain. Then practiced for 30mins silent:


may concentration arise, settled, focusing on body, breath


May first jhana arise, focus on nose breathing, buzzy energy, some thoughts, sore back, closed eyes see fluttery movement, unsatisfactoriness then noticing focus on face,


May second jhana arise, with release of straight posture, relief in head more open, eyes relaxing, noticing body tingling, shimering coolness on torso, heartfullness


May third jhana arise, upper body relaxed, thoughts about sharing practice, ease, sweetness, okay/happy, releif from previous constriction, breathing easier, some chest tense, then release, lower legs feeling shimmering pleasantness,


May fourth jhana arise, this is better, i can do this, easiness, whole body pleasantness, 30mins are up.


When bell rings the sound resonates, I get a jolt throughout body . Ah remembering sensitivity from similar past experiences, mostly on retreat when concentration was higher. Gaining more clarity on the territory


Why am I practicing? To develop skillfullness through curiosity, to be non-harming, live a good life, to share and inspire what's possible - awakening. To explore awakening through direct experience of what is/data/user/0/com.samsung.android.app.notes/files/clipdata/clipdata_bodytext_240716_131350_876.sdocx