Hey ya'll. I'm excited to finally start this practice log. Thanks to all of you for contributing to this great forum. Here we go

Life goal: come out of suffering and inspire health
Theme: zestful ease
Today's practice (method/goal): feel out to feel good cuz I'm feeling low today

my post practice assessment:
Mindfulness: medium
Investigation: low
Energy: low
Rapture: low
Tranquility: medium
Concentration: medium
Equanimity: medium

Things that seem significant: there's a drop in enjoyment, work feels harder, even fun things like skiing today had fearful thoughts of dread were there and I fell a few times, ouch. Yet there's an overall "okayness" because I've been here before and so what.

In formal sitting I can reliably access flow either right away or atleast by 20mins. Flow is tingling sensations, everywhere now but most reliably in middle of body. Since getting back from retreat the other week where i was practicing a few things but notably Do Nothing, See Out but mostly Feel Out - doing inventory, float or cover of body sensations, there's a new flow in neck area. Previously there had been tension. Overal there's letting go as a theme and dropping throughout the day. It feels bad so I'm leaning into Feel Good techniques, letting go and alternating with Noting Feel and Hear Out. Also going to sauna, being with friends, skiing is helping! Trying to balance for sustainable progress as this lack of equinimity was a recent insight i'd like to remember!

Hey Louise !!! 

Welcome !!! Woo !!! 

​​​​​​​Sounds good so far, low mood can be par for the course, keep logging. 

Thanks Bahiya Babe!

Today's log
Feb 16th 2024
Noticing Gone with kindness, mostly feel out and some hear and see out
30 mins, sitting on zoom with fellow folks meditating. Zoom time is not ideal as I'd like to be working at that time but it's 10x easier to meditate together each doing our own practice so I'm prioritizing this support

Noting gone in feel out is a releif like letting go but also eerie... creepy. Visual field is pixalated, fuzzy. Heart beat is fast, thumping which I don't like so focusing on the gone part is helpful to have a practice focus.

Background practice: throughout day noticing body tension, releasing tension, smiling,  repeat is more flowing, fluxing, pulsing

"Thanks Bahiya Babe!"

lol This made me laugh! 

From now on you shall be known as Bahiya Babe!  

I took notes awhile ago on my phone so I'll post em here now

Feb 25 2024
Doing official practice last few days has been difficult, avoiding sitting down. Craving arising (wanting to shop for bathing suit - embarasing) More physical pain, soreness, tired, sleeping more, challenging working would rather clean. Visual field is intense. Headache. Walking, feeling the ground, hearing wetness spring squishing, wind, sun is intense. Sitting in sun, noticing pleasant, rest, release, release, noting but not interested in noting... ordered Wake Up To Your Life by Ken Mcload. Recommended by Shargrol's blog
https://shargrolpostscompilation.blogspot.com/p/blog-page.html?m=1#my-favorite-books
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Feb 26th 2024 Monday<br /><br />I'm feeling blah, icky, grasping for something. Looked at bathing suits for hours online. Yuk. So this is familiar. I want escape. I can't remember how to get out except go on retreat... hmmm. I'm doubting "progress". Thinking "this is not it". Consuming media but unsatisfied. Awhh.<br />I am going to journal answering some questions, what have I been practicing, where is the barrier, what have I learned, what do I think is happening, what action next. Awhhhh cycles...

Feb 28 2024 Wednesday

Technique: feel loving kindness sensation in chest, stay in jhana 1 for 12 minutes

To come out of suffering and inspire health

This felt playful. 6 r's (feel love, radiate. If tense, release, smile, return) I looked up the dhamma sukha website details on self guide practice and found advanced guidance on moving through jhanas and determination with intending timing and this is to make it possible to radiate love when visiting someone or if In pain to reduce. 6 r's practice helps


I really cherish the brightmind in person retreat in January. My fav part was each doing our own practice but together. So powerful

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March 25th, 2024

Life goal: come out of suffering and really be here

Leading edge: okay with not okay

Today's goal: 30mins practice noting freestyle outloud (muliplayer on zoom), then 20mins silent feel out then 10mins feel love (also on zoom)


Mindfulness: medium

Investigation: medium

Energy: medium

Rapture: medium

Tranquility: low

Concentration: medium

Equanimity: low to medium


Things that seem significant: overal there is flatness in experience. Tired, heavy, not wanting to do any formal practice. Tension in chest, expansion everywhere else including neck and head. Grasping is releasing. Meditating with group on zoom is better than practicing alone bc it's a set time and place and friendly faces so reduces the need for decision or motivating. Really appreciating those folks who show up with me. Hearing their labels from noting is fascinating.. it's expanding my experience. Noticing that default practice is feel out flow. Tingling vibrating expansion contraction

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April 21st Sunday- no med
Life goal: come out of suffering and really be here
Leading edge: okay with not okay, dissolving between there and in here (see out and see in, hear in and hear out)
Today's goal:
Practice: clarify for 15 mins, practice noting see hear feel

Mindfulness: low medium
Investigation: low medium
Energy: medium
Rapture: medium
Tranquility: medium
Concentration: medium
Equanimity: medium high

Things that seem significant:
Last few weeks, feeling flow, arising passing, contraction expansion and mental balance has been medium high, daily meditating is easeful when practice 30mins for social mediation then I sit another 30min silent solo. The whole "I should meditate because I want to reach this goal" is dissolving. Also, the whole clinging to "I make more progress when I'm on retreat than daily regular life" is also loosening. I'm grateful!/data/user/0/com.samsung.android.app.notes/files/clipdata/clipdata_bodytext_240422_102629_937.sdocx

April 22nd, 2024
Life goal: come out of suffering and really be here
Leading edge: okay with not okay, dissolving between there and in here (see out and see in, hear in and hear out)
Today's goal:  experiment with noting to experience spontaneity flow
Practice: 30 mins, social meditation, practice formless style, followed by 30 mins Do Nothing

Mindfulness: medium
Investigation: high
Energy: high
Rapture: med-high
Tranquility: high
Concentration: medium high
Equanimity: high

Notes: I love social meditation and I feel a real sense of kinship with the folks I'm grateful to practice with. In review I notice that I noted silently (body tension, thinking) and noted out loud (what is this?, there is a path that leads to the end of suffering). Hearing others note things like unwholesome thinking, back pain etc helped me realise resistant to those experiences. I practiced taking in what others noted while noting my own experience, playing with it. Dissolving inner and outer. Lots of change, flow, expansion contraction, pleasant unpleasant and neutral.

Following this sit, 30 mins of do nothing I returned to posture, dropped noting and just sat. I noticed tension moving around from chest, to back ribs, dissolving, then heart pounding, then relaxing, then tension in heart, moving to tightness in armpits, releasing, opening. Generally neutral, pretty neat experience and a contrast to previous way of resisting/data/user/0/com.samsung.android.app.notes/files/clipdata/clipdata_bodytext_240422_102815_692.sdocx

Louise !!!! Hello !!!!! 

Practice sounds good. Nice somatic awareness. I highly recommend from time to time putting aside noting and just diving into the body, if that's something You're inclined to. You can also bring the noting back in for any complex emotions or physical discomforts. 

Noticing the interplay of tension, attention and relaxation is really good practice and a sort of fractal of the whole journey.

​​​​​​​Nice !!

Bahiya Baby! Thanks for your thoughtful reply. Here's Today's log
April 23rd 2024
Intention: experiment with just sitting and sponteneous practice to develop clarity, balance, concentration. 30 mins multiplayer, 30 mins silent

Lots of feel body sensations and hear in mental talk. Release return. Feeling change in chest, contraction, expansion. Clarity and concentration was higher and things felt intense, chest is uncomfortable. See is pixalated, fluxing, flowing. So I added some metta mental talk and feel good body sensations and I noticed heart rate go up. Release, return to relaxation.

​​​​​​​I wonder what would be useful to increase balance equinimity. I ask because I want to continue to practice and awaken sustainably and in the past I have stopped practicing in part because of lower balance

April 25th 2024

practice: 30 mins, 3 people, formless then 30mins, silent solo but with 7 others, no intention

formless is fun experimenting, observing, pulsing, community and peace arising. Can feel the dark cloud lifting

silent sit was spontaneous, eyes open see change, feel body, tension in chest, relaxing, flow, tingling lower body, head clear,still, noticing subtler pressure and tension arising passing.
 
Earlier this morning listening to Vince Horne describe Body sensations, Charge, Mindsates and Thoughts. This brought play and ease to practice.

The other day I was worried about balance but today I moved through different layers of experiencing and clarifying body sensations and mindstates helped bring more balance