What is happening to me?

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Pablo Elías Rego, modified 9 Years ago.

What is happening to me?

Posts: 30 Join Date: 6/13/12 Recent Posts
Hi. Im Pablo, and first of all I want to apologize for my english, which is quite rubbish. Im sorry.

Ok. I want to share with you my early experience with introspective practices and let you give me some feedback in order to understand if Im doing it right, if I am in a clearly stage that you can tell me, etc..

Well, I started to meditate more or less 3 months ago. The first thing I did was start with the breathing, trying to stare on it the most time possible. Instead of brething normally, I was doing it with the mouth almost closed, only because the air was coming slower and colder (easyer to notice the sensations that it produced in the mouth, lips, etc...). I hope I didnt start doing it wrong.

While I was reading 'Mastering the Core...' I started to try to notice how the atention was changing from one thing to another, accepting that was impossible to stare completly at one sensation. So I was feeling the air in the lips, in the mouth, in the throat..., trying to be quicker with the time.

I invented one exercice in which I started to percuss one surface with two fingers at 6 hits per second, using a metronome, trying to perceive each hit in each finger. At the beginning was very hard, but with the time I found it was very good exercice, related to Impermanence. Even when I placed atention on the breathing, I found easier to notice the changing atention after this new exercice.

More and more I was able to accept the upcoming thoughts not related to the breathing, realizing faster that they were there, and breaking the identification with them (which allowed me to go back to the object faster).




Paralell to that I was doing another exercice that I invented too (but is similar to creative visualitation), which I started to practice even before meditation. This exercice consisted on visualize myself on invented situations. In that situations I had no fear, I had more self confidence. With the time I was able to imagine more and more details, and I could live more real this inventions. Even while imagining myself in a situation I could feel it. For example: In a situation laughing a lot with friends, I started to laugh for real alone in my room.

At the beginnig, for make it easier I created kind of twin of myself. With my same body, face, etc... but different name. This twin was very very self confident, without social fears, with a lot of wisp and daily wisdom. So it was easier to imagine him in different situations. With the time it was easier to imagine myself instead of him. But even when I imagined him it worked.

After doing this exercice for 20 or 40 mins, it was amazing how my self confidence was improved for real. If I did that before a social meeting, I was the king of the party there, completly surprising myself and the others. Like I unlocked something inside me. It worked for all kind of situations: family, friends, collegues in the university, unknown people, etc... Im not exagerating, it was completly amazing. The thing is that was not forever, only for 'one use'. Im not sure if it helps in a long term too. But since I started to understand some things through meditation I started to relate them with this practice.

Reading about the self, and the no self I started to figure that this imaginative exercice was a kind of introspection, leting some identification processes happen in my mind. Because when I create a situation, is like a lot of identifications (good and bads come to my mind, so I select the good ones and I develop them in my mind).

I understand that the goal of meditation is not to select the good identifications, otherwise let all flow and dont take them as own. And since I understand that, my imaginative situations are better. I reject one identification and then the opposite one (that comes automatically) and I feel myself free to be whatever I want.

In real situations, I can see very clearly how my identification process happens, and how my self steem and my suffering depends on it completly. My way of acting, everything depends on it. Its very hard to break this process even when I see it very clear.


I have a lot more things to say, but I prefer not to do a very big post. So depending on your answers i'll continue with one or another thing.

Thanks : )
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fivebells ., modified 9 Years ago.

RE: What is happening to me?

Posts: 563 Join Date: 2/25/11 Recent Posts
I didn't quite understand your question. Could you boil it down to a sentence or two?
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Pablo Elías Rego, modified 9 Years ago.

RE: What is happening to me?

Posts: 30 Join Date: 6/13/12 Recent Posts
-Am I doing it Right?
-In what part of the 'map' could I am ?(acording for example to the maps that Ingram put on the book 'Mastering the Core Teachings....'). I mean, first jhanna, 2nd, dark night....
-Any comment you want to do about my practice, anything.
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fivebells ., modified 9 Years ago.

RE: What is happening to me?

Posts: 563 Join Date: 2/25/11 Recent Posts
  • If you're comfortable sharing what you want from your practice, it'll be easier to comment on its correctness.
  • Someone else will have to answer the "maps" question. It's not actually a stable linear process, though.
  • I get the impression that you would greatly benefit from talking to a teacher face to face.
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Pablo Elías Rego, modified 9 Years ago.

RE: What is happening to me?

Posts: 30 Join Date: 6/13/12 Recent Posts
fivebells .:
  • If you're comfortable sharing what you want from your practice, it'll be easier to comment on its correctness.
  • Someone else will have to answer the "maps" question. It's not actually a stable linear process, though.
  • I get the impression that you would greatly benefit from talking to a teacher face to face.


  • What do I want from my practice? I dont know how to explain it briefly. I think 'happiness' will be a very poor answer. When I exposed my experience, I did it looking for opinions that could guide my practice in terms of enlightement (maybe enlightement is very open too). I mean, help me to improve my awareness, mind-fulness, understand the most deep its possible the 3 caracteristics, breaking the suffering, breaking the identification (ego process)...

    I look at it like a kind of healing process too. Like a cognitive, emotional, behavioral therapy. It changes the way you perceive the 'reality' (trying to elude the ilusory part of it, IMPERMANENCE), then, your emotional response (estabilizing it, working on SUFERING and NON-SELF) and at last you can see a different behavioural tendence (as result of the enlightement).

    All this last exposed thinking is changeable, is only my actual way of understand the three caracteristics, with a very early point of view.
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  • I guess the map is not always linear, and the experience of each one cant be explained exactly acording to this steps. For that Ill be happy even with a very subjective and inexact answer. Maybe Im experiencing different things belonging to different steps of the map...
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  • Ill try to find someone interesting to learn from. Meanwhile this place will be the closest option, where I can read different and contrasted views



PD: Sorry again for my english : )emoticon
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John G Packer, modified 9 Years ago.

RE: What is happening to me?

Posts: 155 Join Date: 1/24/12 Recent Posts
Although I don't know much about it, what you said about your visualization makes me remember some stuff I read about tibetan tantric practice.
They do all sorts of visualizations in which they are already enlightened, are deities of perfect understanding, etc.
They claim it's the quickest path to enlightenment, you could say it's "fake it till you make it".
I haven't practiced tibetan tantra though, it's a really complex system, and it can be really hard without a teacher..
One thing that helped me is that a few times I visualized myself as already enlightened, and that now I think we should practice as if we are already enlightened, in an effortless way, relaxed, happy. Maybe I'm wrong, but it still seems correct to me.

I am currently reading "Introduction to Tantra" by Lama Yeshe, but like I said I hardly think it's a system I can completely follow without a teacher.
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Pablo Elías Rego, modified 9 Years ago.

RE: What is happening to me?

Posts: 30 Join Date: 6/13/12 Recent Posts
John G Packer:
Although I don't know much about it, what you said about your visualization makes me remember some stuff I read about tibetan tantric practice.
They do all sorts of visualizations in which they are already enlightened, are deities of perfect understanding, etc.
They claim it's the quickest path to enlightenment, you could say it's "fake it till you make it".
I haven't practiced tibetan tantra though, it's a really complex system, and it can be really hard without a teacher..
One thing that helped me is that a few times I visualized myself as already enlightened, and that now I think we should practice as if we are already enlightened, in an effortless way, relaxed, happy. Maybe I'm wrong, but it still seems correct to me.

I am currently reading "Introduction to Tantra" by Lama Yeshe, but like I said I hardly think it's a system I can completely follow without a teacher.


I think I will take a look to this tantric practices you write about. I didnt have any idea about it. After starting to do my experiments, someone told me it was called 'creative visualization'. I searched on the internet and I rode some stuff. Not so much because I had the impresssion that they used to speak about it always surrounding it with very pseudo-scientific terms. Thinks like the universe gives you back what you give to it, you know. The name I saw more times searching this term was 'shakti gawain'. If you are interested search it because I dont know much about it. Maybe is not that pseudo-scientific, I dont know. But I think in the book 'The Secret' they mention the same kind of technics to atract the universe 'goog-look'. For me sounds rubbish, but I dont know : )