Hi Dharma People,

New to this and started daily practice about a month ago. I used to meditate (metta technique I think) 20 years ago but haven't done anything since. This log is to help me record my progress and also to get advice on any confusing or weird stuff that may happen and also to work out where I might be on the journey etc.

I am doing this because I have always wanted to know what's behind all this and I guess it took 20 years of doing normal life to prove to myself (intellectually at least) what the Buddha found - that things are not quite what they seem and that its all a moving feast of suffering and empty promises.

I am keen to get stream entry and then go as far as I possibly can

Currently I am doing about 2 hours a day sitting (1 hour morning, 1 hour evening). I am also doing Yoga stretching to get my legs to a point where I could sit in relative comfort. Until then I have been meditating on the bed and also have got a little bench which helps the knees too.

After hitting first Jhana and not being sure what it was (thanks to a few DHO people for setting me straight on that), I since been able to navigate through to 3rd, possibly 4th Samatha Jhana. I thought it would be best to master these so that my concentration skills were prepared to do insight. I have read as much as I can and so far am enjoying my practice. I guess my biggest concern is the Dark Night so if I can get my practice well down before that, I hope to be able to get through it with minimal destruction etc.

So to kick this off, I just had a weekend at home doing 3 - 4 sittings both days which has got me into 3rd, possibly 4th Jhana territory. I was able to get into 1st Jhana then through watching breath and starting to do some noting as well, I rode through 1 and 2 with the vibrations becoming progressively less. At the point I have left it, I was able to get to this 'plateau' of serenity with no tingling, no visual lights or swirling, no vibration in the body at all and whilst some distractive thoughts jumped in occasionally in the background, they did not disturb the state. However, I would get periods of that interspersed with a second level of this which was not quite as serene - some disturbance and lots of coloured swirling in my eyes - lights and blue colours - so I am not sure if I was jumping between 3rd and 4th or if it was going in and out of the sweet spot of 3rd but I will keep going to see if an answer presents itself.

During these serene states I was also trying to consider the 3 characteristics but not sure if I was doing it properly. So I am not sure what is supposed to happen next - do I just keep sitting and trying to strengthen the territory I have already covered and learn as much as I can about it? or do I keep moving forward (whatever that means).

Since I am meditating lying down, I sometimes fall asleep trying to get into the first jhana. This has worked out well because when I wake up, I usually am thrown straight into the kick of Piti and Sukkha of the first Jhana and I am away. So its an interesting benefit I have found from something normally not considered a good thing.

Tuesday Dec 11,

Last 2 days meditations - Mind agitation not too strong - able to get piti to rise within a few minutes and then hit what looks like 1st Jhana but not sure if I am continuing through to 2nd and even possibly 3rd or if I am just ending up in access concentration for a long time. Whatever the case, what is happening is that I go through all the big vibrations and excitement of the 1st Jhana (I presume) and then it starts to dissipate after a short blast and, the vibrations reduce to tingles (waves of sukkha,I presume) then gradually disappear to the point where my mind is on this plateau of peace and stillness and there is no vibration or sensation in my body. So through the course of a 1.5-2 hour session it is an experience of reducing sensations to a point of stillness. There are a few thoughts scrambling around in the distance but not much. So I sit in that state pretty much till I decide to pull out. Not sure what to do at this point. I focus on the breath but I am not sure what to do beyond watching it (lack of experience I guess). So will keep searching through DHO and elsewhere for a 'prognosis' and then work out where to take it from there. Its good for concentration development I guess.

During the day I am trying to watch the breath and watch sensations but that is tough at work where I have alot of meetings and interaction happening. I am still just beginning this so need to be patient. Will keep reading up on Goenka Vipassana technique to improve practice and develop skills.

Anyone reading this - any ideas, thoughts, advice very welcome. (Thanks in advance)

Hi Rod,

I take it you are practising anapanasati and are sticking to samatha at the moment?

I will pass on a diagnosis, but it seems your concentration is really going well to me. You can either keep at the samatha (which will stand you in good stead), or start investigating (which you are probably ready for).



If you want to develop samatha further, you can try getting into this state and then widening the focus to include all the space around you, take the space as object.

Are you sure there are no subtle sensations in this state? If you want to start investigating, you can maybe try it from inside this state, or you can stay in the state for a while and then come out of it to start vipassana. You may find investigating throws you out anyway.

I can recommend the Goenka technique, it is very good for developing the ability to see subtle sensations, especially in the early stages.

All the best.

Hi Dodge,

Appreciate your interest and advice again. Helpful - I was first wanting to get the concentration Jhanas to some level of proficiency and whilst I am still not sure which Jhana I am getting into - it is a pretty solid concentration base that seems quite robust to a bit searching around ( I will try the widening awareness as well). So whatever it is, it will do and as you suggested I will try to observe sensations now and see if it holds for that. There are some subtle sensations but compared to all the crazy vibe of the 1st and possibly second Jhanas (I presume) it is like a flat line.
Thanks again and will report through this log how it goes

Routine Update
The theme at present is finding balance I think. Meditating at least a couple of hours a day but seem to be hitting a threshold point and then falling back with fatigue. Since I am working full time - I do an hour in the morning and then about 2-3 in the evening before going to sleep. See next point but I think I have been trying to hard especially around first Jhana which I find energy wise pretty exhausting.

Second point is finding balance with my approach to Jhanas. A few breaths into a meditation I have Piti ready to go, but its very jumpy and shoots up from my solar plexus to my head spasmodically and whilst a few weeks ago would lock me into this high vibratory state (which I assume was first Jhana), now just shoots up and doesn't hold. In my previous entry was continuing on into some very stable and fine concentration through focusing more broadly (good advice from Dodge-e-Knees) but now, it just jumps around this gross vibratory state with Piti and Sukkha swirling around but not settling or 'locking' me into any routine state. Since I don't really know what I am talking about, I might be just describing exactly what is supposed to happen but to have that confirmed at least would be something.

So adjusting to shorter 'sits' and also letting go and not expecting anything - just focusing on the breath under the nostrils and almost ignoring the sensations swirling around. Will report on how this goes after a few days of trying it. I was also meditating lying down as it seemed easier and as previously mentioned, often if I fell asleep, when I would wake up I would drop straight into 1st Jhana. However, not happening over the last few days and in fact I am getting tight neck and shoulders from tensing up with all the piti and sukkha rising upwards to my head - each time it happens, its like a physical spasm in my neck and shoulders and I have to work at relaxing - which induces another blast - things seem out of balance, since I have no history of neck, shoulder tension etc. No depression or mental issues - generally I am a pretty happy, positive sort of person.

Third point - need to start noting through day - as I have read and can understand why this would be important to keeping the mind occupied daily to minimise wandering/adventures and perpetuating agitation. So when I can remember, I try to note all sensations. As far as I understand, a double or triple noting is better since it takes up more mental processing capacity, leaving less for 'mental play'. So am starting this today.

General Notes/Thoughts - Maybe this Jhana thing is a pointless diversion and insight is really the thing to do instead. I was getting pretty frustrated and tired with all the piti and sukkha screaming around without seeming to form into any structured state. I am not sure which of the five elements I am missing. Its probably just a need for more practice and will iron out over time so will keep going of course.

As always - any points, opinions, advice most welcome.

Hi Rod,

I can't be sure, but I suspect you might be doing insight practice and going through the nanas whether you intend to or not. Actually the noting you are doing during the day is an insight practice. The choice is yours whether to go for vipassana proper, but you seem to be heading in that direction anyway.

There are stages when you feel like you could meditate forever, and then later it seems difficult to count ten breaths in a row. This is normal and part of the ebb and flow. Don't fight it and try not to get frustrated.



That is a good attitude to adopt in these situations.

The feeling out of balance and pain in the neck and shoulders seem familiar to me, but I can't diagnose for sure at this point. I suggest widening the attention and trying to take in all sensations at once rather than focusing narrowly. See if you can also detect pleasant sensations in parts of the body whilst the unpleasant ones in the neck are happening and divide attention between the two. Open up, don't fight it, let it happen.

Good luck.

Hi Dodge,

Thanks for your advice.

I have only started doing the noting and its not easy but basically whenever I do something like watch TV (don't do much of that) or have a beer with friends etc - something sensually enjoyable that I have always done, I identify the emotions and sensations that are there and note - there is excitement, there is curiosity, there is comfort etc etc. The mundane stuff is harder to do because with that we are so used to ignoring it - but now I realise its due to boredom so that is noted among other emotions, sensations etc. I know with practice this will improve.

You are right, I am sort of confused between insight and concentration - I am trying both - non-sitting doing insight and sitting doing jhanas. Not sure if that is recommended or wise. If I was only going for Jhana concentration, I think that large periods of the day may not be utilised so believed that insight would be a good way to keep moving forward. This may not be sensible but don't have the experience to verify that.

There are plenty of pleasurable sensations with swirling tingling starting almost as soon as I start to focus on the breath - but this intense Piti (I think) becomes very strong in 'bolts' shooting up to my head and forces me to clench my shoulders and neck at least when I am lying down - which is why I have started doing sitting meditation rather than lying down. When sitting upright the effect still happens but not as pronounced. I had a headache from it this morning which went away after a while.

So unless there is something fundamentally unwise or detrimental doing both insight and concentration, I will continue and see what happens. I am glad that the ebb and flow is normal - I was getting worried that I was getting off track so thanks for shedding light on that and thanks for your other comments as well. Much appreciated

Rod

Yeah carry on with what you're doing, you seem to be making good progress.

The 'bolts' shooting up to your head could be several things. It could be a particularly aggresive transition to another state. Or quite often one may experience the sensation of 'energy' rushing up the spine from the abdomen into the head, this can happen during a few different states. In another situation it may feel like the head keeps dropping forward and you are about to lose consciousness, which leaves the back of the neck feeling a little raw.

Don't worry about it for now, it will probably become more obvious with time.

Keep at it.

Practice Update 19/12/12

Well there is nothing like work related Christmas Parties to disrupt practice. My concentration has been knocked by the increased agitation of having to go to these (being work). Adding to that is getting used to meditating in a sitting (kneeling with bench) position. I was lying down but found sleep was winning more often than not and also was getting alot of neck and shoulder tension so started kneeling instead. Its not bad but takes getting used to and trying not to keel over when bolts of piti (I presume) shoot up to my head. I am sure it will stabilise with time and persistence - I have broken the long meditation sessions I was able to do lying down, into more shorter sits. When I sit now, the piti and sukkha still arise almost as soon as I sit and waves go through me but it now doesn't seem to advance beyond that. I also see my mind very agitated behind this.

My noting practice is taking time also - it will also take time to maintain this through a day's work where it is so easy to get lost in detail and useless chatter. So a challenging few days - sending me more into this website discussions for advice on dealing with agitation and distractions. Suck it up and keep going is my self advice.

Rod

Practice Update 24/12/12

Concentration recovered, practice is settling down and becoming more consistent. Whilst I am still unsure what Jhana I am in, with more sits and a more consistent experience emerging I am either bouncing off first Jhana and just sitting in access concentration or I am moving through first and second jhanas and cutting edge is 3rd. the basis for this is the following more consistent experience:
* Start session and able to settle pretty quickly
* Breathing slows and concentration on breath starts
* Establish consistent breath concentration and become aware of good feeling in solar plexus
* Focus slightly on that whilst still maintaining breath concentration
* It grows and spreads to waves (First Jhana) Not as violent as before
* This settles to waves of good feeling that last for a short time (2nd Jhana?) and gradually subside to localised areas
* Now it settles to a point where the tingling in my body almost completely disappears and my mental view becomes wide and calm. Today, I experienced a very slow and gentle wave/pulse from head down to feet almost as if I was floating on a lake with broad low ripples.(3rd Jhana?)
* So then thinking I might be in 3rd Jhana I relax enjoy it and stabilise it.
* Then start trying to broaden my awareness. I started doing this by feeling in and out breaths to suffuse my entire body and gradually grow beyond my body hopefully carrying my awareness with them. Although I have only tried that once, it seemed to be working where I had the slight sensation for an instant that my body was far away.

Note: Whilst I am going through this, I am still hearing sounds outside (ie people talking outside, cars going by etc), and whilst in most cases they are not drawing my attention, I am definitely aware of them. Not sure if this is a sign that I am not in Jhana?

Noting has been slow - its a difficult practice to get going through one's day, but will keep at it. It's been done my many so I can do it too. Really looking forward to when it starts to take off and the whole practice starts to add momentum.

As always, any advice is appreciated
Rod

Update 27/12/12

The last few days has been a great opportunity to meditate alot - with 3 - 4 sessions a day possible without interruption. This has enabled me to just go with what is happening to experiment a bit and establish repeatability/consistency of experiences to provide some indication of where I am at and how I can utilise that as much as possible. So I have been able to establish some fairly solid assumptions such as I am able to get into access concentration and 1st Jhana, move to 2nd and then third Jhanas and possibly 4th (probably cutting edge of practice at the moment). I have been able to move up to this cutting edge point fairly quickly with each sit. I have tested this by trying out moving back to 2nd and first and then back up to 3rd and maybe 4th again as well. So it seems I have developed some mobility around the first 3-4 Samatha Jhanas.
The cutting edge point is interesting - I get to a point where all tingling feeling etc is gone from my legs and body and the key sensation is a broad thin line of awareness/concentration across the front of my 'closed eyes'. I have been able to hold this for a while but often move between this and a less clear state where I have that line of concentration but also can feel my legs and arms tingling slightly. It seems that the further I have been able to go along this path, the frequency of vibration gets finer from 1st Jhana upwards and by 4th (or what I think is 4th) it is so fine that its almost imperceptible.
Holding things at this frontier point, now makes me wonder what to do then? Its a great opportunity to contemplate or focus on something helpful such as the 3 characteristics. So need to research that. Also need to research how to 'look' for the formless Jhanas (assuming i am in the 4th). But will need to explore and confirm the stability and reliability of that assumption as well.

Happy Christmas and hope 2013 is a productive and fulfilling year for all

Advice appreciated

Rod

Update 29/12/12
Today I tried 3 things (thanks really appreciate the advice Laurel).
1) more practice going up and down the Jhanas (as far as I know) and stabilising and getting used to what I think is the 4th Jhana 2) Looking for the 5th Jhana expanding awareness to 'infinity'
3) trying to mentally note all sensations, feelings and their qualities whilst in that stable state reverting to the breath (in, out) as reference point if things get unstable. After a second quite long session of doing this, the 4th Jhana state (or what I think is that) became more stable (really peaceful with very low vibrations/tinging) and I was able to note any little sensations e.g. itchy, impermanent rising, impermanent sustaining, impermanent fading, unpleasant etc etc. then back to breath in, breath out. This certainly helped keep the mind from wandering and helped stay solid in the state. Then at the end of the sessions, I would try to come back through the Jhanas visiting their most notable sensations and holding then moving back. Felt like walking down a hall ever closer to a party with entering the party room at the first Jhana with lots of heavy vibrations and swirling energy. I guess these Jhanas are not very hard Jhanas because I can still note in them - there seems to be some different opinions on what constitutes a jhana state and some I have read suggest that no thinking is possible whilst in these states. Maybe I am completely off track and just in access concentration? Just keep going I guess and see what happens.

Rod

Update 30/12/12

Tried the same as yesterday. Had a really strong concentrated meditation this morning but the follow up this afternoon was pretty sleepy and scattered - 2 reasons that I can think of - lunch! full stomach is not good (Duh!) and after reading more on descriptions of Jhanas, got doubt as to where I am and what I am doing. So the session was pretty unclear but still got to what I think is a Jhana 3-4 concentration level.
Did a bit of noting but not getting into it yet. Definitely need to address the balance between concentration and mindfulness - so will stabilise the Jhana practice and focus on the off-cushion practice since that constitutes a larger part of the day than meditating. Having said that I have applied for a Vipassana retreat in Jan - which I think will help get the mindfulness skills up and generally be a good chance to have some solid sessions meditating. Never done one before so any advice on how best to approach it would be appreciated.
Rod

Update 02/01/13
This time of 'semi retreat' enabling me to do 3-4 meditation sessions a day over the past couple of weeks is finishing. Progress has been reasonable with some clarity and consistency being developed around Jhana practice and concentration skills have improved.
I also have started noting which will become a bigger focus of my practice now not only because I will not have the same opportunities to meditate as much as I have (unless I can go on the Goenka Vipassana retreat Mid Jan) but more importantly, the insight side of things is to be developed if I want to have real progress. Not having a car, I enjoy getting to work and carrying out errands on foot and over the past few days I have been mentally noting whilst out and walking to try it out. I am currently reading up on the technique as much as possible but what I am doing is noting mentally as much of what is coming to my senses as possible. I am also noting thoughts that arise, day dreaming, extrapolated ideas and mental wanderings (i.e. chasing the links between sensory income and resulting thoughts/feelings etc). Basically, I am taking a view that all must be 'on the table' so there are (hopefully) no mental processes, wanderings, indulgences going on without me being aware of them and noting them. Its an interesting process since the busier things are, the easier it is to do as there is more material to occupy the practice with, whereas this would normally be highly distracting to a practicing person. For the Lay person this seems a great practice. Even with the short experience of it so far, I have noticed that whilst doing it, there is very little dreaming/wandering etc and also, (maybe it's just the great sunny days we have been getting) but subtly, things seem brighter and more 'real', very positive. If I am practicing this properly, I can definitely see great benefits - ingenius idea really. Out Loud noting could get weird in public though. I know there are some serious experts at noting on this site, so any advice on how I am going with it, or if I could make improvements, would be very much appreciated.
Rod

Excellent, you're making good progress. I have no idea where you are though if you ask me, I'm not familiar with the nanas map.

However I have a few things to say: Your mind is capable of contriving, compounding and creating all these various interesting experiences that you have. Which I gather you have read similar accounts about.

The practice of Buddhism is essentially to realize the compounded, contrived, faked, not-real (anatta?) nature of things. So when you sit, and you discern that something isn't right, something is angsty, something doesn't sit well with you (dukkha), go with that and see where you end up.

Good luck!

PS:

To be absolutely clear though, you don't have to follow my advice. From what I gather you have a solid practice, so do as you wish.

Hi NI,

Thanks for your comments - yeah, I was getting concerned about needing to know where I am but realised that was becoming the main thing rather than the practice of progressing - as you said - another device of mind rather than just getting on with it. So I thought that just practicing every day, the experiences over time will give clearer indication of 'location'. I will just keep going and be grateful for any advice other more experienced practitioners decide to offer. So thanks, appreciate it.
Rod

Update 05/01/13

Reduced number and length of sits now to about 2-3 hrs per day (split evenly to first in morning and last at night). More distractions around but not so bad. Early morning sits are hard to wake up enough for - the mind is pretty dopey and torpid at this stage so takes longer to get to cutting edge. Am trying to get as far up Jhanas as I can to achieve what I think is 4th which is very balanced, can't feel my body much or at all and then trying to note sensations, vibrations, or contemplate questions such as Who is doing this? etc. I am aware this is pretty flakey and unstructured but with more reading, will tune it up to something more productive and directed. Basically though, pretty positive experiences, not stressed about it - just moving forward gently but not forcing it.

Really interested in developing the noting techniques for off the cushion as once I return to work and all the rest of my life really kicks in, it will be the most useful I think. I have lots of questions about noting and doing it the most effective way but am still sifting through all the DHO, KFD, Hamilton Project etc entries so I might find answers in them before I ask a question on this website for the hundredth time and clutter things up. I think the main questions are around degree of detail and recognition of objects/sensation/phenomena being noted. I walk down the street and note what is in the field of all my senses - i.e. I see trees - I note trees, I see cars - I note cars. I also note the emotions, sensations (if I can sense them) that I have upon sensing these objects/phenomena such as I see people -note people -I sense tension-nervousness arises, it passes. I hear a loud noise-I note noise (possibly also what the noise is) - I sense irritation to the noise - I note that etc etc. Even if this is not the most effective way, it certainly sucks up mind time so day dreaming and mental adventures are significantly reduced or eliminated. Certainly makes me aware of now. Reading Mahasi Sayadaw's writings on it, he pretty much says to do it all, all the time. Anyone with experiences on this who can give some perspective as to if this is on the right track or way off please feel welcome to comment.

Rod

Update 09/01/13

Continuing to stabilise meditation up to what I think is 4th Jhana. Its a really stable, clear and uneventful happy state and provides a good platform to develop insight practices I am thinking. So have started noting in that state but because not much happens there, I need to get my perception to be more subtle to pick up sensations to note. I can of course note hearing of outside noises etc. Also started looking at trying Metta practice in this Jhana (if thats what it is). Pretty shaky but early days yet. Off the cushion, daily noting is a bit of a pea soup of approach and frequency etc. Sometimes I will just completely forget to do it when it was a great opportunity. I get confused when walking - I walk alot and its usually normal to fast speed. So in my mind, I am not sure to note 'walking' or 'left' right' (military style) or what as its pretty fast. I certainly note whatever other sensations I pick up. So as usual, with practice it will get better. Noticing alot of 'kriya' events whilst meditating - yesterday one bounced me off the ground, it was so strong. Its just involuntary jerking and twitching, no A&P to see here I don't think.

Update 12/01/13

Well back at work which has really played havoc with my practice as expected so I must adapt. My meditation depth and duration has dropped, more diligence required with my noting practice and of course stress levels due to work have increased. General points of interest over the past few days include, the last meditation before returning to work, I got to 4th Jhana (?) and tried to look for 'I' and got to a point where I could see processes of sensory intake and processing going on and could not find 'I'. There was something subtle about that realisation that stayed with me after the session. Something moved/shifted very subtly - not sure what. This morning's session was 2.5 hours (being Saturday morning) and it was the most unpleasant I had yet - lots of tightness/stress in the eyes and between the eyes, easy 1st and second Jhana but hard to stabilise beyond that, lots of negative thoughts (work related) that I struggled to ignore - I tried noting hard, watching breath and with the tightness in the eye area I tried visualising massage of the area and even performing metta on myself. The session left me with pain around my eyes and I had to take a tablet. Better later. This could be just stress from work or something else - not sure but more sessions will reveal it I guess and I am keen to see how it plays out. Also had to cancel my booked retreat starting tomorrow due to work commitment next week - bummer.

Update 17/01/13

Now back at work, the practice has been challenged – it is harder to concentrate in meditation without stressful thoughts arising, stress levels increased overall, difficult to stay mindful whilst at work and particularly hard to follow the 5 precepts – such as right speech – gossip is such a ubiquitous part of a workplace - hard not to be involved. So, being patient with meditation sessions and more disciplined. Whilst some of the best and longest sessions were in supine position, it is harder to not fall asleep and to wake up out of sleep to meditate properly. So transitioning to sitting (kneeling using seiza stool) and placing time limits on sessions. Jhana 1 and 2 (Samata) are deeper but harder to get beyond them at the moment. Also started doing Metta technique as I suspect it might be helpful in Dark Night whenever I get to that and also I think its just good for the world Continuing to do stretching yoga twice daily and 85 pushups daily to keep strong, and flexible releasing stresses from the body as well. Also yoga stretching is designed to help with sitting more comfortably for longer without pain distraction.

Continuing to build noting practice through the day particularly on bus to work and home again. Trying to snap out of daily delusion and notice this moment and reality throughout the day but this will take time to develop and grow as a practice.

As a pre-path practitioner the following contemplation insights have been useful – was contemplating the idea of how we associate places, objects, actions etc with often complex affective positive and negative perceptions. Really suffused mind with questioning around this. Such as why do we need or want holidays (ie going somewhere else from our home etc)? Would it be in part because we have grown to hate the place and people we work in and with? Or is it that we have grown to hate the associated thoughts, feelings that we have attached to the place and people we live, work with every day. Alternatively, a holiday in some beautiful place we are drawn to for the opposite reason – because it is a place we have only done relaxing and good things in or have been told is the place those positive things are experienced, so we have a positive association with those places (they are also probably really comfortable beautiful places too). This is interesting when seeing tourists walking around the place you live, they are experiencing it with completely different associations to those who live there and so attach different and presumably more positive associations to the place we live than local dwellers do. This is complex as many other associations such as fondness, sentimentality, excitement etc are also combined into our ‘view’ of a place. So maybe a holiday is at least in part taken not because we don’t like the place we live but the associations we have attached that form our ‘view’ of the place. A holiday offers some respite and refreshment of this for a time. So if we were free from combining experiences with perceptions and associated emotions, would we seek holidays for a different reason? Or would we want a holiday at all? Would the need to get away and refresh still be there? Maybe Arahats can answer this?

So thinking this way, I saw how noting could help with this tendency to combine feelings, perceptions from collected experiences of a place, object or action by training the mind to just experience (6 sense doors) them for what they are, breaking that chain of automatically converting them to an experiential catalogue that forever embeds into the mind, enhancing the opportunity for mental tendencies/biases, characteristics (collectively termed our personality) to demonstrate, grow and proliferate. So if noting is effective at this, an advanced practitioner could presumably walk around very familiar areas such as where they work and live and not view them as a combined emotional, perception experience but rather just as they are – a street, a shop, an office, a person at the office I work at etc. Thinking through this makes noting a lot more meaningful for me as a useful tool and motivates me to practice it more. So this has been helpful, however, and whilst I have not articulated this very well, if I have got this wrong or confused, would appreciate clarification from more considered or experienced practitioners.
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Update 21/01/13
Interesting times. Whilst adjusting back to the usually hectic work life I have, my practice is not as regimented as I would prefer but I think its positive. I am doing a lot more mindfulness activities - started today consciously reminding myself of HAIETMOBA whilst at work to try and come back to noting when I get lost in the work. Interestingly, I have found alot more contemplation off cushion going on and am aware that something is moving/changing. I feel a detached awareness growing in my perspective in daily life and today the whole day had a melancholy flavour to it but without the usual craving for something missed normally associated with such feelings. This is notable because I am normally a happy person, contented and well grounded and something has to be very hopeless for me to feel such sadness. I have watched it all day and I don't see it as bad - I don't feel so connected to it. Strange. So this I presume is somewhere on the path of insight. I am pretty sure am pre-A&P as I cannot remember any particularly wild event that resembles common descriptions of it. But I am not worrying too much about it - things will unfold when they are ready. I have had a couple of really deep meditations - doing Jhana till I get to a really stable and serene state then start trying to find 'I' and breakdown the sensations I am sensing. Breath focusing as default, noting sensations and where I can, trying to analyse the process of sensing and look for I in the same process if I can. Other noted feelings - I have had a growing desire to just go and get peace and quiet - leave everything (I won't do this of course) but much less tolerance for noise and complexity. Its as if I am driving me rather than me if that makes sense. THere is also a subtle sense of excitement whilst walking around (even amidst the sadness I felt today) - not sure if this is contrived or natural but its subtle and not unpleasant - just aware of it. This all has been growing over the past few days so is quite 'fresh' and so may just be a passing phase but worthy of noting till further practice reveals more

Update 01/02/2013

Things have settled down practice-wise. I managed to equilibrate to the added distractions being back at work and am now getting two focused meditations a day – mostly sitting rather than lying down. Had a great first session with Kenneth and that helped me to do shorter more effective meditations with Jhanas. Now I can drop into Jhanas quickly and the time meditating is spent more efficiently – I can get straight to 4th Jhana and set up a stable ‘platform’ for mindfulness/noting etc. without the usual 2 hours or so of fiddling around trying to work out which Jhana I am in and trying to ‘experience’ it extensively to prove to myself I am actually in it! Sounds crazy as I try to explain that! I will continue to improve my technique here.

Off the cushion noting is ok but I would like to be more rigorous with it. From what I have experienced with Jhanas and what I am reading about other people’s experience with key milestone events on the path such as A&P and stream entry etc, it seems that the recurring theme is letting go. I do find that the more I let go during meditation, the deeper I can go particularly with Jhanas. So I am generally trying this in all things to see if it has an impact on attaining insights and progress – interesting to try because I can see that it is hard to let go of what you haven’t realised you are holding onto (if that makes sense). It certainly makes me feel good in general so that’s a plus. In a pretty good space and highly motivated – not sure where I am on a map really but I guess I will know if something significant happens and maybe if I ‘don’t care’ (let go) all will be revealed.

Update 14/02/13

Something has changed/shifted this week. Last few weeks, practice has been up and down with good meditations and difficult ones (see practice log) – you could say its been ‘rocky’. Then on Saturday night I started to really focus and sit in 4th Jhana (or what I think it is). after that sit everything became really easy. I could get into 1-4 Jhanas very quickly and they were well defined and I had more control without much effort. Monday morning had a great 4th jhana sit and pretty much walked around all day feeling really balanced and calm almost like I had a protective coating on while I was highly productive in what was a really busy day. Its been like that all week. Tuesday night (typically 16 hr day with work and uni after) normally wipes me out but this time I felt calm and alert all day and night and was able to get to 2nd Jhana sitting on the bus! Today had a flight for work and both there and back got into 2nd Jhana during the flight and then used the afterglow concentration to note. I wanted to understand if sitting in 4th Jhana correlates to being in equanimity since the MCTB maps indicate its similar mind strata and if so how can I use it to advance since its really pleasant and stable and peaceful. There was some talk about it on DHO indicating it was possible to cover the 11 Nanas from the 4th Jhana which may minimise the DN.

Last night I was meditating lying down and was in 4th Jhana and must have drifted off then woke up to an experience of something like a light switch being turned on and off repeatedly causing my eyes to blink really hard in sync with it and involuntarily – this happened for a few seconds I guess then things settled down and I was back awake. Maybe this was just a sleep/waking thing – not sure. Today felt normal but continued to be very calm and balanced through a busy tiring day.

All this has sharpened my curiosity about where I might be i.e. how far from Stream Entry I may be and thus what I might do to assist the process in my practice.

Noting is going on but I still am not as diligent with it as I could be. I try to maintain momentum through the day with small HAIETMOBA intervals. Found some helpful advice through non-dual awareness blog as well which could be another tactic for daily practice.