Someone asked me to post my experience of my experience at an ayahuasca retreat so I am posting it here. First let me say that my name in my profile is not a real name simply because I am a healthcare professional and if someone searched for me I wouldn't want my real name coming up under threads like this simply because people may have preconceived notions about things like this that I wish to avoid. Sorry about the aside, but felt it was important to maintain my shila.
So before the retreat, I wanted to get as mentally and spiritually ready as possible so I really began to increase the amount of meditation I was doing. I had previous A & P events, the last one being about 7 months before at my first Goenka retreat, and believe I was in a dark night for some time and even if I didn't get through the dark night entirely, I wanted to have made as much progress as I could. For a couple weeks before the retreat, I meditated several hours a day, sometimes going for 8 or more hours on weekends when time would permit. I really began making a lot of progress and in my research, came across this website, for which I am extremely grateful, and found it very helpful in my progress.
I found myself in equanimity feeling myself drawing closer and closer to attaining my first path when disaster struck a week before my retreat. My entire office was flooded by a pipe form the office above us bursting over the weekend and continually running. I have a solo office and it is my only practice and my livelihood, so needless to say this was not great to find. My assistant helped me try to move things that could be moved, rescheduled all our patients, and called the people who needed to be called to remedy the situation. After that I figured instead of sit and dwell on the tragedy, I would meditate because everyone who needed to be called was already called, no matter what I did at the moment I'd still have to deal with this over the next few weeks getting things back together, and stressing about the situation would not be helpful. I could be wrong, but I believe I got first path that same day, which was very bittersweet. I just kept meditating, unsure of it was really first path or not. About 2 months has gone by since then and the feeling has strengthened somewhat, so based upon what I've read I believe it was first path, but I've come to a point where I'm not all that concerned whether it was or not, and I'm happy with where I am. I do notice that my perception is different, but its very subtle so again I figure, why waste time trying to figure out if it was or not, and just let the whole thing unfold with time.
I did a 3 ceremony retreat. Some parts are a little hazy in my memory now, but I'll try to report it as accurately as possible. Each ceremony was very different from the others. I did this at a place called Etnikas due to what I could find out about it online and it seemed like a good place. The Dalai Lama was there once so I took that to be a good sign (not to do an ayahuasca retreat, but to do other shamanic work).
Before the ayahuasca ceremony, you work with other shamans and do a healing ceremony and after the 3 days give an offering to Pacha Mama (mother earth), which I found interesting. There is also quite a bit of fasting involved and you are only allowed to eat certain foods at certain times. My ayahuasca shaman, Jaime, was very sweet and had a very humble and caring nature about him, although he spoke no English. He did have a translator at times who also helped with the ceremonies, Joanna, but you'd be surprised how much can be communicated through body language, gestures, and smiles.
Now, onto the ceremonies. The first night I didn't really feel much for the first 2 hours or so. It should be noted that each night about 45 minutes to an hour into the ceremony I vomited quite intensely. I was usually the last one to vomit and each person vomited within 5 minutes to 1 hour after the ceremony. Each ceremony I was with 2 other people taking the ayahuasca, but it worked out that it was different people each time. They have an entire ceremony so you finally drink the ayahuasca about 45 minutes into the ceremony which is primarily cleansing, and setting up protection from evil spirits. After two hours of not feeling much I went back to my room. I almost challenged the ayahuasca and remember thinking "that's it?" and started falling asleep. The spirit of the plant responded and responded in a way that told me "that's it, but if you want me to kick your ass, I can kick your ass", so then the ass kicking commenced. The entire rest of the night I felt pretty physically ill and had numerous thoughts, I'd compare it to being on par with a bout of bad food poisoning. Daniel's comparison to Technicolor vertigo inducing nausea definitely comes to mind.
I did speak with "Dr. Ayahuasca" several times, one of the spirits of the plant. Some questions he answered, some he did not. I asked him if I had attained first path and he told me to just keep practicing. I asked him about what I should do with my office and he said "did you really travel all this way to talk about your office?". I asked him how he was doing and he said he was ok, but if people kept destroying the rainforest he wouldn't be around for that much longer. I asked him how he came into being, and he said "people needed me, so I showed up". Some answers were direct, some indirect, and some answers insinuated, "you need to figure that out on your own, because I won't give you a shortcut and just tell you".
The first night kicked my butt, but the second night was different. The second night involved a far more visual experience and was much more of a nurturing feeling. If the first night was a stern father, the second night was a loving mother. It is very difficult to describe, but a lot of feelings of gratitude. There was still some nausea initially but that passed and was not as bad as the first night. Even the first night was really bad, as someone who wrestled competitively and used to cut weight, I'd say that wrestling is more taxing physically and mentally.
The third ceremony was the most intense. I travelled to different dimensions with the goal of seeing how far I could go. I kept traveling from dimension to dimension, each time being "worked on" and prepared with different sensations. This went on for quite some time when finally I had a realization. I kept trying to go to the next level, not just in this ceremony but my whole life. I've always been trying to improve and move forward, but sometimes at the cost of not soaking in the present of what was around me. The ayahuasca gave me the simplest of lessons, and one I already knew, but wasn't implementing. It told me that just like in life, these dimensions don't have an end, so stop trying to get to the finish line, because it doesn't exist. Keep going, but stay present and enjoy things as they are at the moment.
One cool aspect of my journey was when I returned home, my fiance' had a dream and dreamed about a man from Peru. I showed her the website and there were all these different people on the website, and she said she recognized my ayahuasca shaman in the picture, not knowing who he was, so maybe she is next to go. I was called down because during a meditation I saw the ayahuasca spirit and it told me to come down. I initially tried booking a trip to Mexico, but it got cancelled and I had to go to Peru the same dates if I wanted to do it so it worked out.
Overall, I'd say it was a worthwhile experience, although not one for everyone. Some of the people I was with loved it and others hated it. In terms of intensity, I thought my meditation sessions prior to the trip were more intense if you could call it that, but I think maybe the meditation before the trip could have been the reason I was called to do the ayahuasca if that makes sense. Sorry if my thoughts are a little disorganized, but I just wanted to put it out there as I've been postponing doing so.
