Psi Practice Log

Formal Meditation times in minutes.

12.22.2014  46,15,10

12.23.2014  31,20,18

12.24.2014 12,25,26



Make a mistake, fix it and move on.  My mistake, started a practice Log as an after thought posted in the Terminology section.  Other mistake, being stupid and making up  confusing definitions.

So, one has to try and fix mistakes and move on in life, forward.

Will try to stick to Buddhist , Pali, terminology as best as possible, unless it is a topic that Buddhism does not cover.  Will try to do this so as nort to be confusing.  And, if I am getting a point in practice wrong, or missing some angle of practice soemone can better understand what is trying to be described.

This practice is basically Buddhist.  Why?  Well, because it works, and there is forward progress over time.  Buddhism is methodological, and results can be experienced for one's self. There does seem to be a wide range of flavors to Buddhism, but the core practices line up.

There may also be a mix here of Yogic Practice, Eight Limbed and also Direct Pointing.  Also, because it works.

The biggest part of practice, that I have found is including the practice during daily activities and not just the practice during formal meditation.  Though one needs to use both in tandem, for sustained integrated progress.

Why?  Well, from what I have seen in research, if one wants to master something they need around 10,000 hours of practice.  So, a while back , I looked at my practice, and at about 30-40 minutes a day, it would take about 55 years to become a master of the mind...  Using the 10,000 hour mark.

So I contemplated, and after much internal searching and studying, found the Eightfold Path, to be the only way to complete such a goal with what life span there may remain.  Then, due to reviewing personal results of the Path, it was clear and has remained clear that the Eightfold Path, practiced in full, morning to night, as the mind can, does bring results and benefits, here and now, and not just at the end, but also at the beginning and middle of the Path.

There is yet work to be done, but I am eternally grateful for the Teachings, glad they are real, and it works. 

One last thing today, one may see some 10 minute sessions in my formal meditation log, and I want to explain.  First, sometimes, I only have ten minutes, a lunch break, ten minutes while I wait for someone to get ready to go, etc.

Secondly, even ten minutes a day, is 3,650 minutes a year, so when viewed over a years time, surley the 3,650 minutes has a beneficial effect on the mind.  And as the late Ayya Khema said, " A moment of Concentration is a moment of Purification".

Psi

Practice isn't just the results too.  If you intend to be mindful all day, and only succeed a few times during the day, that doesn't mean you weren't practicing all day, no?  How can we really add it all up?

By practicing, first one is mindful of a moment, then slips, then one is mindful for a few more moments, then slips and daydreams or gets caught up in verbal self talk or ruminations, wishes , desires, i.e. craving, then one is mindful again.

Through repeated practice of being mindful, one becomesmore and more mindful the short moments become connected moments, the connected moments become lenghths of time being mindful,, mindfulness stretches become longer and longer.  

Through more repeated practice of mindfulness, the repeated application of mindfulness becomes at one point of the path an automatic response, a new wholesome habit, that eventually replaces the old craving, ruminating, unwholesome mind with a mind that rolls along with mindfulness, basically unperturbed by most goings on in the world.

But, first one starts the practice by being mindful for one moment, then one gradually increases their skill at being mindful for longer and longer periods of time.  Eventually, this leads to what becomes a daily mindset, Mindfulness.

I am not sure exactly when the crossover from the constant persistent practice of Mindfulness became more of the automatic state of Mindfulness, at least a year ago, or two.  But, it is well worth training the mind in this fashion, hardly ever do I have to be bothered by thoughts arising anymore, though I can think, but it is directed and cotrolled thought, not the random discursive thinking.  Or, just to have the mind in Pure Mindfulness, where there is just the reality with no thoughts arising.  That type of Mindfulness right there has made the whole practice worth more than any amount of money, so much dukkha is just gone, or if it does arise, can be easily released.

So, in a more direct answer to your question, it has been at least a couple years since I was only mindful a few times a day, but for two years before that I used the Mantra, Peace, Peace, Peace...  This really helped to substitute distracting thoughts or unwholesome feelings, for along with mentally saying Peace, Peace, Peace, I would also add the Somatic Feeling quality of Peace and Contentment.  Did it work immediately, No.  It took months and months and months....  

That's all for now.

Psi

To all,

After some contemplation, perhaps there is some confusion in how and why I set the log up with the record of meditation times in minutes.

I will explain, the meditation recorded on minutes is formal meditation time, Jhana.  The mind does not always go into Jhana, but the tiem is usually dedicated to Jhana, one may also call this Tranquility or Samadhi practice, if they prefer.

Though, there are times when I will use formal meditation time to practice, Choiceless Awareness, Body Scanning, Progressive Relaxation, Guided Meditations, Metta, Bhandas, Microcosmic Orbit, Mirror Trataka, Candle Flame Trataka, Contemplations, just to shake things up, but mostly Jhana.

The rest of the day is devoted to undertaking the training in the Noble Eightfold Path, of which Right Mindfulness is the lead horse.  And this is practiced as a direct correlation to how the mind has been trained in the past.  Recognition, No blame, Change.

Daily living and daily practice is a moment to moment thing.

Psi

I just meant to point out that, when someone is practicing piano, they might spend 90% of their time making mistakes in the beginning, 50% in the middle, etc...  This doesn't mean they don't get to count that time.  If you spent evey day of the last few years intending to be mindful, even if you were often lost in thought, it's pretty likely you've spent a lot more than 10,000 hours practicing.  I just meant my post to be encouraging.

To Not Tao and all,

Yes, you are right, any time in practice, formal or informal, does count towards inner change. I understand what you are saying now, and I agree.  Practice is practice, it doesn't have to be just formal meditation.  It's just that for a practice log I have no way to record informal periods of practice throughout the day. 

At this point in my practice, I am investigating into how really mindful am I during the day, how wholesome, where can I improve, am I ignoring personality traits subconsciously, am I deluded, are there any egotistical tendiencies left, am I irritating? etc...  Basic reviewing

Every once in a while I like to hit the reset button and start all over, to keep it real , and honest.  

But, yeah, every moment maintained as wholesome, is a successful moment, whether it's traditional practice or freestyle practice, and we should all be joyful for each other that we share in these endeavors, it seems to be not all that common in humanity, if it were, this message board would have millions and millions of posters.  

But , we are all here, out of all the possibilities....

And I sign off with a Psuedonym, how sad, perhaps I should change that...

Psi

Further elucidation upon what I consider Informal Practice throughout daily activities.

Mindfulness is important, yes, the lead horse , so to speak, without mindfulness, or the mind as forerunner, one is not aware, and when one is not aware, one is simply meandering around , reacting to phenomenon and circumstances, rather than responding to phenomenon and circumstances.

So, on the one hand, one misconception is that simply being mindful all day, one may be just shuffling around the world in a zombie like thoughtless fashion. Well, shuffling around in a zombie like fashion, would be called Mindlessness.

So, hopefully that clears up the difference between Mindlessness and Mindfulness.

Now, to add in the Seven factors of Enlightenment, as practice points to be initiated and sustained throughout the day.  Using the hypothesis that each moment we are alive is a moment that can be used for the process of inner change and development, but not in a strict puritanical dicatorial type of practice, but rather a more natural approach to harmonizing the mind and body with a path that is beneficial and wholesome to all.

Seven Factors of Enlightenment 

• Mindfulness (sati)
  
• Keen investigation of the dhamma (dhammavicaya)
  
• Energy (viriya)
  
• Rapture or happiness (piti)
  
• Calm (passaddhi)
  
• Concentration (samadhi)
  
• Equanimity (upekkha)
  

I find it also interesting to view this a a balance, balance as in a scale, or a see-saw.

Picture Piti in the middle, or Joy, for when one is balanced one will have inner joy, this does not have to be a puppy like bouncing around, it could be just a simple feeling of inner happiness, felt when there is balance.

Sati: Dhammavicaya: Viriya------Piti------Passaddhi: Samadhi: Upekkha

And notice how one balances the other, for instance Samadhi balances out Dhammavicaya, say when one stirs up awareness of sensations, one can then balance back out by tranqulizing the bodily and mental formations through Samadhi, then if one is too tranquil and sloth and torpor slips in, one can rebalance by practicing insight methods i.e. dhammavicaya

So, it is not just about being Mindful all day, there is more, much more, and more than just practicing the Seven Factors of Enlightenment throughout the day and in formal sittings.

Psi

12.25.2014  15,15,23,30

12.26.2014  10,42,24,10

12.27.2014  31,20,12

The majority of the practice adhered to within this practice log is described in the link below.  

It is titled Going against the Flow  by Upasika Kee Nanayon

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/kee/theflow.html

She said it.

Bowing out with respect.

Psi

12.28.2014  15, 60, 30, 30, 20

12.29.2014  18, 10 , 60

12.30.2014  30, 21, 20, 38

12.31.2014 43, 53, 31 

Insight?  When the body unconsciously clenches or tightens, for instance, when meditating, I have noticed that at times my thumb will clench in towards my hand, with seemingly no intention to do so, thumb clenching is impersonal and automatic.  Now, this thumb phenomenon is just an example, these internal and external clenchings and tightenings can occur anywhere, it seems.

So, here is the thing.  When one consciously releases the tension, i.e. tranquilizing the bodily formations, then the corresponding effect would be the automatic tranquilizing of the mental formations.  Now, what is interesting is that the mental formations are at the unconscious level of the mind, at least for me, at this time.  So, releasing the physical formation releases the mental formations, which unravels and liberates the unconscious mind, which liberates and unravels the conscious mind.  As Above , So Below.

So, in this fashion, the practioner, albeit unknowingly, does work upon some very deep levels of the human formation, both physical and mental.  In other words, we need not always have to crash into the unconscious to make headway in the liberation of the unconsciouness.

Want to add also, that Mindfulness Practice 24 hours a day is an ideal, but perhaps not always a reality, as there are day to day activities that can be distracting.  But, that being said, there are ways to remember to be Mindful throughout the day, being aware of one full in and out breath cycle, the pressure on the feet as we walk, aware of thoughts as they arise, etc.  So, to recap, these little mind moments of Mindfulness, add up and start connecting together.  Perhaps one is only mindful  for a few extra moments a day , at first, but, to do the math 10 extra mindful moments a day, adds to thousands of extra Mindfulness moments a day by the end of a year.  Eventually, the mind has to become trained and become ever more Mindful of the present moment.  And, while the mind is Mindful of the present moment, it can not also be ruminating, worrying, wishing and desiring at the same time.  So, Mindfulness in this fashion also cuts back on the arising of Craving, if that is what one wants to do.  Life has many options.

Psi

1.1.2015  45, 30, 10,11,26,30,34

Turning the Wheel, slowly it turns, keep pushing, when one looks back one can see the tracks, even when it seems as if we have gone nowhere, there are tracks, ways we were, gotta keep the wheel turning, grabbing a spoke at a time, and turning, there are eight spokes....

Must reflect, which of the spokes need mending?  Which part of the Eightfold Path was weakest today?  What am I ignoring?

Anyway, this is a cool little article on Liberation Unleashed

It is titled Where is the I?  by Gary Weber

http://liberationunleashed.com/articles/where-is-the-i/


Psi

1.2.2015  10, 20 , 23, 48

1.3.2015  10, 30, 17, 32, 21

1.4.2015  62, 28, 13, 20

1.5.2015  15, 30, 19, 22, 24

5th Jhana , Boundless Space, Infinity of Space

Just wrote this section on another thread, as a respense to the Sound of Silence but want to clarify and add to it:

And furthermore, from my experience, 5th jhana, Boundless Space , Infinity of Space, is just that, the sensation of Infinity of Space.

So, while the Nada Sound  or other Jhana method, may be an entry method into 5th Jhana, once entered,

Sounds? Nope, it  is like a giant glass bowl is set over the top  of you, cutting off all sounds, actually all of the six sensations, leaving only the sensation of infinite spacial expansion.  No thoughts, Not thinking, no sensations of air on the skin, no sounds internall or externally, on itches or body contact, no sense of gravity, no tastes or smells, no visuals.  But, that being said, there are probably various forms of 5th Jhana for various people, different minds perceive phenomenon in different ways.  Plus, there is always the spectrum factor, one may be within a range of 5th jhana, say one has a sense of open spaciousness, this may be a certain spectrum of 5th Jhana, or one may think of it as fractals, spiraling out to infinity.

So, my experience is this, no sensations other than infinite expansion, no sense of self, no ego.

It is as if one were the Millineum Falcon going into Hyperspace as a consciousness, sans visuals.

How often, and can I call up 5th Jhana at will?  40-50? times in my life so far, but who was counting?  And no not at will, I have to be very relaxed and have to intentionally move towards 5th Jhana, and I haven't figured out exactly what else needs to be a condition.

Except the last time it happened, several months ago,It was in the middle of the night, and I slipped into the Infinity of space, but instead of fear arising and ending the phenomenon, the mind reverted to Equanimity training and allowed the experience to unfold, and it did.  Until, a thought arose, Where am I ?  Then the ego came online, I saw a faint small speck of light a million miles away,  thought , There I am, and I zoomed back to the speck of light, and was back in normal conscious state.

So, to experiement, I went immediately back to 4th jhana state, and immediately slipped out again into 5th jhana, or expansion into Infinity of Space.  So, this replicated the experience a second time, confirming, for me anyway, this was not just a dream fluke accident.

But, this experience has not happened again, nor have I really set up the conditions for it to occur, and as a side note , afterwards, this last time felt like a finality of the phenomenon, there is or was no more fear of the experience, or is was no more craving for the experience, okay well a little, I need to investigate that.

But , I have often wondered about this experience, as it is often not described in this fashion.  

Been trying to split formal meditation time up with a more balanced 50 / 50 ish Jhana and Vipassana approach, and have noticed that the mind is not as calm as usual.  Am I stirring up old samskaras to work through, or does Vipassana method just agitate mind and create new samskaras, and I am chasing my tail...  The investigation continues.

Plus, adding more formal verbal noting to daily life, breath sensation, foot on ground sensation, facial sensation, touch sensation, sound or listening sensation, etc etc etc etc etc Why not?  Nobody knows what is going on in my mind, so hopefully I can add some formal noting to daily activities to help expand practice on top of Bare Attention, though Bare Attention is much smoother, as it requires no thinking or verbal chatter.

Long winded sensation, long winded sensation, jeez already

Psi

Listening to Dhamma Talks has been a large and integral part of practice, invaluable, Pure Wisdom in an Earbud....

Ayya Khema Retreat Talks

If anyone is interested in a good retreat talk, this is a good one.  Just look at the subject headings, you will see.  I just listen to 20-30 minutes here and there until it is over, might take me a few weeks, also good for long walks.


http://ayyakhematalks.org/Wat_Buddha_Dhamma_1992.html



All and Everything, BitTorrent link 

http://ayyakhematalks.org/BitTorrent.html


Psi

1.6.2015 30,33,30,24
1.7.2015 38,23,13
1.8.2015 61, 29
1.9.2015 30,30,31,31
1.10.2015 32,30,21,46
1.11.2015 32,54,45,10

Just a couple of things to note,  first more noting method, this seems to stir up old memories and unresolved clingings and cravings, these are met up with equanimity as best as possible.

Also, lately, though not every session, I will find my awareness becoming absorbed in a lucid dreamlike realm, with full blown conversations with others, in other places I have no previous awareness of, and playing out weird scenarios that seemingly have zero to do with my normal waking life.  Perhaps this is sloth and torporlike lucid daydreaming, an opening of the unconscious mind , (which seems populated), some jhana state, or just an imperfection of insight.  Anyway, it has taken me for a little loop...

I suppose I really need to get serious and get to the 1 hour mark while meditating, and beyond, I have heard that is where one develops, (big mind), whatever that is exactly.  Work schedule has been kinda hectic, but no excuses , right?

I can certainly see how important it is to use samatha meditation in conjunction with vipassana methods.  While one method shines the light on previously inexposed areas of the mind, the other method calms one back down, then when one has regained peace of mind, they can penetrate a little deeper.

Using Tranquility and Insight in tandem is to be the current approach, it has been that way in the past, but my insight practice was never really formal, and was mostly just during daily living, this has been seen to be not enough, there is simply too much going on in daily living to see very deeply into the inner universe.

Kinda struggling, a little off keel, mind is not as settled as it usually is , and there is new phenomenon to deal with, and old cravings and clingings in the mind that I am actually surprised are still there after all these years... stubborn bastards.... roots of craving go deep indeed.

Psi

1.12.2015  12, 8 , 15, 30
1.13.2015  25, 30, 20
1.14.2015 27, 35, 15
1.15.2015 60, 30, 20
1.16.2015 10, 30
1.17.2015 60, 30

Goenka Retreat Fractals, The Unconscious Mind Formations, Brahma Viharas

So , ideas form and connect from what thoughts are already in the mind, So, what arises?  The idea of Goenka Retreat Fractals... what?

Three days!! The first three days are spent focussing on one spot on the body where the breath enters and leaves the body.  Three days!!

So, for Three Days, one builds concentration and samadhi BEFORE attempting to body scan.  Why?  Well, it seems Body Scanning brings up, phenomenon.  And that phenomenon needs to be seen with Equanimity, if not, look out.  

Then there is six days of body scanning, and one day of Metta.

I think Metta is good as it trains one to develop a wholesome replacement for the vacuum left behind from successful body scanning.

To me, this is all a physical undertaking, rearranging our neurons and nervous system pathways, clear out the old unwholesome, and replace with something new and wholesome, something skillful to replace that which was unskillful.  But, it is a real living physical rearrangement, some cells must die, in order for others to grow.  And, some formations of cells want to live on...

So, there is that, then the Fractal Part, Goenka Retreat, is set up to attain some sense of Equanimty, then Vipassana Method, then Metta.

Fractally, on the smaller version, it would be 3 parts Equanimty Method, 6 parts Vipassana Method, then 1 part Metta Method.

A good Body Scan takes about 30-40 minutes, for me anyway, So all this would take about an hour.  It would look something like this, 

1 hour total sit, comprised of 18 minutes of Concentration, 36 minute body Scan, then cap off with 6 minutes of Metta.

That would be the 1 hour Fractal of a Goenka Retreat.

30 minute total sit, comprised of 9 minutes of Concentration, 18 minute Body Scan, then cap off with 3 minutes of Metta.

That would be a 30 minute Fractal of a Goenka Retreat.


But, for sure one can come up with other Mental Workouts and a better ratio, but that is the gist of it, and the point is to spend some time on each method to stay balanced and rounded out, and perhaps safer.

Guess I will log in the Unconscious Mind Formations, and Brahma Viharas later, this got kinda long.

Psi
 
P.S.  Tiny Fractal , Equanimity over the Body in one wave and the arousal of Metta, all in one Breath Cycle...  Head to Toe Breath Out , then Head to Toe Breath in with Metta... all in one Breath Cycle


Edit
Erasing my own stupid comment

 

1.18.2014 20, 32, 33, 60 

Last 60 minues was a body scan, while listening to Goenka Guided session with return Practioners, he explains alot during session.  I think you are already expected to know how to body scan and breath samatha practice.  If you listen to it and have never meditated with Goenka before, there is chanting in the beginning, it lasts five minutes or so.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LxEIAl60L0

But, personally, while the method itself is fine, in my view there is more that needs to be done, and the entire path is not covered and nicely wrapped up in this one little technique.

This is another interesting link I am reading now about Goenka's Vipassana technique, and I know he was trained by someone else who was trained by someone else ,all the way back, I just do not know the details, so it is not really Goenka's technique, but you get what I mean.

http://www.dhammaloka.org.au/community/showthread.php/516-Goenka-s-Vipassana-Technique


Unconscious Mental Formations, okay first off, weirdness.  When these pop into the mind, it could be anything.  And why it is weird, to me, anyway, is that it can be something that , as far as I know, I have never encountered or experienced personally.  What are these exactly, I am pretty sure I am using the wrong terminology.  Here are some example of Unconscious Mental Formations that have arisen and passed away.


I am in a wooden boxlike structure, there is light coming in from the top, and I am thinking, even within this box meditation is not perfect...  Then back to the breath

Vision of seeing the top of a scalp, with thinning hair and some freckles, But it is not me!  back to the breath

Quick pop ins of partial phrases, but not in my voice, back to the breath

This stuff rarely happens, but has happened more lately.  I was thinking it is maybe sloth and torpor and I am kind of having a quick mini lucid dream episode.  Or maybe it is the conscious mund peeking into the unconscious mind, or visa versa.

I guess strange things just happen by while meditating sometimes, will note phenomenon and return to Equanimity as Object, or breath if I fall completely off course.

I also do not know if I  just stay equanimous and  if this is a new level of the mind to purify, or if it is just a hinderance that arises, or just a phenomenon, or a jhana sideways path....

Brahma Viharas

I have heard these are the only emotions that the Buddha said were worth having.  Would like to find that in the Suttas.  And, since it sounds reasonable, I am trying to keep mindfulness of the Brahma Viharas during my daily life and use them as antidotes to unwholesome mental states.  Alot of maintenace required, and alot, alot of checking in, but that is Mindfulness for ya.  I have actually been practicing the Four Supreme Efforts for some time now, it works, for me it is a fact, zero doubt about the method.

Here is an Ayya Khema talk on it, transcription

http://www.vipassana.com/meditation/khema/hereandnow/supreme_efforts.php

Psi

P.S.  I do have full time job, and yes in a way it gets in the way of practice, and yes in a way it is part of my practice.  It would be nice if society could throttle back and we could get full time pay for working about 25-30 hours a week, living wages with benefits... 

I mean really, machines, robots and computers do most of the work, what happened to the productivity that has exponentiated of the last 200 years?  Oh wait, greed...

1.19.2015  10, 10, 35
1.20.2015 33, 60, 12, 10, 20


“Enjoy the little things in life because one day you`ll look back and realize they were the big things.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

When anger starts to arise, because of something someone said, or because you dropped something, or someone pulls out in front of you in traffic, or whatever triggers anger, and for that moment you are mindful, and this one time, instead of being angry, you were mindful enough to make a choice.  And you choose, to not let anger arise, and you reestablish your composure , and remain peaceful.

In that one moment there is success, and in that one moment you will know Dhamma is real and doubts will fall away, for you will have experienced it first hand.  It is just that simple, and yet just that hard to do...

Psi

p.s. there is more of course ...  but never more than a moment

Psi: Thank you for sharing your notes. I'm enjoying reading them. I've been occasionally playing with a body scan/metta/10 points practice sending metta to the different areas of the body. It seems to work best when metta is strongly established.

1.21.2015  40, 20
1.22.2015 10, 8, 60, 45


@ Bill F,  Thank you, you are honorable.
So synchronicities?, I am at the library yesterday, browsing, pick up a book, called Epiphany by Elise Ballard, randomly open to page 115, by the way, It is  a book of interviews, page 115 is an interview with Kristin Neff, and her insight into practicing sef-compassion, which reminded me of your post, above, and synchronicities, which occur, and could be coincidence or the mind and it's tendency to connect things previously unrelated, or synchronicity, which gets kinda weird sometimes.

@ The curious, some guided meditations online, 

Kristin Neff
http://www.self-compassion.org/

Kristin also has a Tedx talk:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvtZBUSplr4

Reggie Ray, Ten Points Meditation

http://www.dharmaocean.org/meditation/learn-to-meditate/learn-to-meditate-foundational-practices/

So, yesterday, I practiced Metta, just sending Metta to all parts of the body, any distractions arose, just back to Metta as the anchor of Meditation, and the session went well , 60 minutes of Metta, nothing much arose but Metta, sukha, piti, subtle, but pleasant, the mind was calm.
Maybe the mind just needs to know it is okay to let go and be nice. The mind does not normally do this, usually it is more of a dry Equanimity experience...

But I want to add , for all, that sometimes before Metta, one has to practice forgiveness, to let go of old, clingings and grudges. I know I did, for months and months.  These clingings and grudges get less and less, and with practice eventually will not arise again.  Here are instructions for forgiveness meditation.

Basically, one forgives themselves, because one is in training, and because we are in training we make mistakes.

This meditation is done by sitting down and beginning the forgiveness process by forgiving yourself for:

1] not understanding,

2] for making mistakes,

3] for causing pain to myself or anyone else,

4] for not acting the way I should have acted.

http://www.dhammasukha.org/forgiveness-meditation.html


So, maybe this post is not so good, so please forgive me, I am a Metta novice... But am now really curious!?

Psi

Hey Psi,

The four immesurables are considered one of the ceto-vimutti, or mind-releases/awareness-releases, equal to the formless realms and meditation on emptiness.  If you think of it in a similar way to samatha practice that will be helpful I think.  For example, what happens when you stop thinking about yourself entierly - your relationship with other people or your relationship to yourself - and think of people purely on their own?  The natural relationship to all things without "I-making" or "my-making" present is kindness, or self-less equanimity.  The BVs seem to be the result of this kind of thinking, rather than simply a category like good emotions as opposed to bad emotions, or the only emotions worth feeling.

here's a good sutta: http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/sn/sn41/sn41.007.than.html

Like your post above - when you feel angry at someone for cutting you off in traffic, what happens if you just remove yourself completely. For me, this disables ill-will almost instantly. Kind of like, just ignore the ego completely - don't give it the time of day - it can't do much if you aren't paying attention to it. I like to remind myself to stop "checking in" on myself. It's my new favorite practice.

Also, the emptiness sutta could, presumably, be modified to work with the BVs, since the immesurable awareness-release is considered equal to the themeless awareness-release: http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/mn/mn.121.than.html

Right, but not when you feel angry at someone for cutting you off in traffic, But before anger arises, one is mindful enough to make a choice, to not have anger arise. The driver in front cutting one off is just a sight sensation, nothing more, definitely a sight sensation that may require a response, but not anger.

There is no self in mindfulness, though there are varying levels of mindfulness,  but it sounds like you got the picture.

And, yes, exactly like in the Godatta Sutta you linked:

This is non-nourishment as discussed before, in a different light.  Passion, aversion, and delusion, can not survive and carry on if they are not attended to.

And your statement makes complete sense to me:
The ego is not there unless it is created, it is a mental formation, nothing else, and it causes problems, and it is delusion.  When the ego is abandoned there is a complete peace, greed and hatred have nothing to arise from excepting the ego formation.


Psi 


p.s. it all sounds kinda crazy, but it is true, as far as I know

1.23.2015  37, 30, 25
1.24.2015 30, 15, 40

Sinus Cold for last few days... But, there are worse things that will happen to the body...

So, kind of funny thing happens when I post about the Ego, and how it causes problems, and when it is gone there is peace.  So what happens? The next day it seems to come alive!  It is like the "See I told ya so!" Ego is back, to bug you with stressful thinking and ruminations, hahaha!

Yeah, so it arises, and it passes away.  What is to be learned?

But, wanted to clarify more on the Ego, thinking is not bad in itself, the mind is where wisdom is gained, and that is done through contemplation and thought.  But, it is more of the discursive, uncontrolled, hither tither thinking, the craving and clinging thinking, unwholesome thinking, the delusional thinking that is more of a bane to our existence.

And, indeed, it seems more peaceful without all of that.

Wisdom seems to be the only way, it is wisdom that keeps us out of trouble.

So what exactly is Wisdom?  Wise contemplation?  Wise thought?  Wise action?  Wise speech?  Wise livelihood?  

Wisdom Training.  Part of the mind recoils, just wants to have fun and be foolish and playful.  Is it wise to be playful?  Joyful?  Happy?

Googling Factors of Enlightenment, brb

Not only is it okay to be Joyful and Wise, they are Factors of Enlightenment, hmmm...

Maybe it is all about that Balancing

Maybe it is all about that Bass

Humanity is funny

Psi

Cough, cough, cough

So, sinus cold, moves into lungs, body is under invasion by a foreign entity...

1.25.2015  30, 20, 60, 10, 21
 
1.26.2015 17, 17, 60, 10, 20

Meditate, cough every few minutes, note the sensations, the impersonal arising of the sensations related to the cough, grateful it is not worse, smile, meditate, calm, cough, note the sensations, watch the scratch in the fhroat suside, lingering rawness, pulsing pain in temples when caough is too forceful, smile, meditate, what else can ya do?

So, it is all of an impersonal nature, even thoughts, they arise, from where?  When someone tells a story, it is usually something that they just saw , heard , or experienced in life, they relay that information gathered from thier senses, which, in turn usually triggers, an associated memory in the next person's mind, who then relays their memory of gathered sense information, all told in the form of language and story telling.

Human1 Did you see such and such on youtube? Human2 Blah, blah, yeah I can't beilieve it?  Hey, did you see, blah blah?  Human1 On the way to work their was an accident.  Huamn2 I was in an accident last year. Human 1 Yeah, so and so died in an accident.  And so on, impersonally personal occurrences, connecting to one another, yet "we" think, "we"; are thinking up every response, well, most humans think that way, well, perhaps not the meditator, at least not all the time.

Ego, more ego talk?  Let's see what someone else has to say.

http://www.dhammatalks.net/Books/Bhikkhu_Buddhadasa_Heart_Wood_from_the_Bo_Tree.htm


He goes on in another part to explain the concept of Buddha's teachings, relevant, for it easy to miss the heartwood for the many trees and leaves out there.  No reason to meander off course, waste of time and effort.

And what is at the core of the Heartwood?



Indeed, my own thinking is much related to an impersoanl nature, contemplations upon the ego, connected to other people posting about heartwood, (Chris and Not Tao), brought up investigations as to whether my experience lines up with others , which led me to re-find Bhikku Buddhadasa,then

 cough cough... notice the sensations arise and pass away and

Smile

Psi

Stars, there are so many stars!!!   


http://www.vox.com/2015/1/26/7915359/andromeda-galaxy-video

1.27.2015  22, 35, 48, 25

1.28.2015 65, 20, 40

1.29.2015 33, 48, 37, 43, 30

Specualtions , Dogmatism, and Philosophies, usually this is what we call something we have not experienced ourselves.  When we do experience something that we previously labelled as Speculation, Dogmatism, or Philosophy, then we call that an experience, or just phenomenon.

Describing phenomenon to someone who has not experienced it as such, will indeed sound like mere speculation.  As some phenomenon descibed to me, seem as mere fabrications or speculations.

Ehipassiko, translated as "Come and see for yourself".

Note:
Move forward, steam ahead, like a train on the tracks, do not take the sidetracks, move forward, steam ahead.
The train goes to the destination, that is the plan.  When the train has stopped it will never reach the destination.  The train needs fuel to gain momentum, to overcome the hills, so that it goes up and over.  If not, the train will just roll back down, never topping the hill, and will sometimes have to start over at the bottom. Move forward, steam ahead.
But, once the train is moving, full steam ahead, going downhill, obstacles removed from path, what can stop it?  Be the train. Keep adding fuel, Be the unstoppable.


Psi
  
p.s.  and smile

1.30.2015  72, 30, 10, 15

Equanimity, just staying with it, seems this is the best, the longer meditation sessions seem to help calm and stabilize the mind, which in turn allows one to understand how things really are, which allows insight to develop, which allows one to stay equanimous, round and round.

So, what kind of insights?

Anger, what is anger, what was anger?  Most people view anger as a thing, anger is not a thing.  Anger is a process.  Anger arises due to causes and conditions, usually there is a trigger involved.  People say they need to vent anger, to let off steam, express their anger.  Well, that seems untrue.  Anger should be abandoned immediately, and substituted with a wholesome emotion, asap.  In this way one can train the mind to not let anger arise, it is a process.  You are not going to suppress or repress anger, one can not do this, it is not a thing.  The more you feed the anger process, the more ingrained the anger reaction will become.  The more you abandon anger and replace it with wholesome emotions, the more ingrained the wholesome reaction will become.

I have to agree with the ten fetters model, Anger does diminish with practice, I think at some point it gets cut in half, then later, if one keeps up with their practice, then anger eventually becomes more like irritations.  And then, eventually, the irritations become more and more minor.

 I do not know how subtle the Anger definition goes in Buddhism, and if anger gets cut off completely or not.  

What I am trying to say, is that the Buddhist Path does reduce anger in a practioner.  But, one has to practice reducing anger, abandoning anger, substituting the wholesome states for the unwholesome states.

That being said, Insight Methods, should do this , if one notes with equanimity towards all formations. 

Psi Out

P.S.  This all works for greed also.

P.S.S.  When there is no delusion present, neither anger or greed can arise, there is just absolutely no reason for them to even exist or gain a foothold.  But, honestly I need to really look into the whole delusion aspect of the path, what exactly is delusion described by the Buddha?  And how is delusion extirpated?

1.31.2015  41, 50, 47

2.1.2015  10, 21, 30, 12, 14, 12, 10

2.2.2015  31, 90, 30, 45

Insight:  Sometimes insights are so painfully obvious, it is a wonder why they are not known all the time.

Equanimity:  When there is equanimity of that which arises and passes away, neither anger nor greed arises.
On other words, When there is Equanimity, there is neither anger nor greed.  When there is either anger or greed, there is no equanimity.
(Edited sentence)

So, mindfulness, being the forerunner, is the key to remembering to view phenomenon with equanimity, and , what is cool, is that if one slips from mindfulness, and reacts to the world with liking or disliking phenomenon, one can use mindfulness and equanimity to observe the reaction!  What a hoot!  Sometimes it is just hilarious how the mind reacts ...  

Been really staying on top of Equanimity the last few days, but, it seems, possibly to an imbalance, almost too equanimous, not enough joy , compassion , or metta...   Need to rebalance...  oops...  

Recognition, No Blame, Change

Psi

When I am talking about anger and greed, since those are rather strong terms, I am also referring to craving,

Craving in the sense of either wanting to have something, or wanting to have a situation remain the same as it is currently.  Or the flip side of craving, wanting to not have something, or wanting a situation to not be as it is or wanting a situation to change to something better.

Anger , Greed, Craving, some synonyms:

Liking, disliking, attachment, aversion, desiring , wanting, wishing.

There are subtler and more pronounced forms of craving, like a spectrum, there is a range.

I am not sure Craving does the correct job of explaining what the Buddha meant, at least in English, Craving is generally used to describe wanting and grasping at stuff, i.e. the greedy side.  But, the other side of Craving is the pushing away of reality, the wanting to not have something.

I think Craving is very basic in Nature, or Dhamma, goes back deeply into our evolutionary pasts.  Just observe a shark, it basically moves around in its environment, and either goes towards an object, wants it, or moves away from an object, does not want it.  When a Shark really wants something, it eats it, it fulfills the ego satisfaction of making something mine, by absorbing and digesting the other being.  When a Dolphin, on the other hand, hits the shark with its nose, it causes the shark pain, and the shark does not want that, so it moves away.  This is Nature, and it is also us, yet we we observe Nature, Dhamma, we do not think of the Shark or Dolphin as having a self, it is simply following the laws of Dhamma, Nature.

But, we are no different, perhaps just more complex.  

Psi

2.3.2015  45, 20, 17, 45

This excerpt just seems strikingly appropriate to the times, sychronous

To sum up, the Buddha's mission was to establish a path to spiritual perfection, to full enlightenment and Nibbana, liberation from suffering. He did this by propounding a teaching that acknowledged our capacity for attaining spiritual perfection yet which also remained fully respectful of the intelligence and autonomy of human beings. His approach was psychological in orientation, non-dogmatic, pragmatic, and open to investigation. He emphasized self-effort, moral rectitude, and personal responsibility, and he proclaimed his message universally, holding that the potential for spiritual growth and even for the highest enlightenment was accessible to anyone who makes the appropriate effort. It is these factors that give to the ancient teaching of the Buddha such a distinctly modern flavor, making it so relevant to us in these times of shifting ideas and changing values.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/bodhi/wheel433.html


Psi

2.4.2015  10, 60, 23, 20

2.5.2015  45, 70, 72, 35, 30, 13, 20

2.6.2015  67, 20, 64, 65

2.7.2015 28, 31, 72, 42, 22

Everything that is in the past is irrevocably gone, Everything.

Everything starts from this moment forward.

It is a new moment, 

Right, 

Now!

Psi

Dhamma Lists, so much wisdom condensed, it is kind of amazing, like a web... 


http://www.insightmeditationcenter.org/books-articles/dhamma-lists/

The list above has been really helpful for practice.

The key for me is to really intergrate the list as much as possible during the day.

What I learned on a short mindfulness walk this morning.  It is not that thoughts arising in and of themselves are hindrances, though a silent mind is preferable and peaceful, it is fine to think and contemplate.  What is to be abandoned is the craving thoughts.  When the mind says, I wish it was warmer, or I wish I did not have to got to work, or I wish this or that. These types of craving thoughts sometimes still arise, but it is usually easy to extinguish them as immediately as they arise, if not before. But, and most importantly, it is the craving thoughts that are beneficial to cut off at the root and abandon. I guess this is a combination of Mindfulness, Effort and Tranquility. Samma Sati, Samma Vayama, Samma Samadhi. A powerful combination, indeed.

Further, as part of daily practice, I have really been pushing to stay aware of what the mind is doing in the present moment for the past several years now.  Mindfulness is indeed the forerunner, it allows one to catch themselves before reacting.  If not, I just try to be mindful at the next possible moment.

Anyway I am working with the list in the link above, as a study guide, I already know most of it by heart and have been integrating it into this life here and now.  I guess I mainly wanted to state that I was not just posting some random link, but posting something that has been part of my practice for a while and has really helped alot, and just want to pass along information.  I am trying to keep this thread practice oriented, and not just random posting for the sake of posting.  Though maybe my practice is kinda weird, as it moves from cushion to life and back to cushion.

And I have to review, Was I mindful today?, when was I not mindful today?, Investigate, Investigate...

I also want to add that I do not understand why people do not see the ten fetter model as real.  Or not be able to see the Suttas as instructions.  I think some view it all as a fairy tale, or simply stories.  For me, the Suttas have been instructional guides that have wisdom delving deep into the human experience.  And that Sutta study is an excercise in pragmatism, what is real?, does it work?, How can I integrate this teaching?

But, perhaps the view of the Suttas is clouded over by a Western view of the Bible, and people think when someone uses a Sutta to try and convey wisdom, they are quoting scriptures and Bible thumping with an ignorant mind.  When actually it is, in most cases, quite the opposite of Dogmatism, and people are using Suttas to convey what they have already learned from direct experience, and trying to share the experience, though perhaps, as said before, not always.

Anyway, the Path seems pretty clear to me at this point, the Results are real, and I have no doubt at all that what the Buddha taught is real , and the results of the Path are real. Knowing what is Path and what is not Path, seems fairly obvious.

So, for now, I am going to keep practicing as I have been practicing.  

But, as always, I must be on the look out for delusion...

Psi

P.S.  I am entirely grateful to this site, and being able to post thoughts and experiences openly. From my view the DHO has many wholesome qualities.  If I had to say what was the main strength of the DHO?  Investigation.  People here really investigate matters at hand.  People might think it is mean, but I do not, as it is mostly objective.

To put it bluntly, Reality doesn't care what we believe. 

EDIT, And I mean this in a good way, I am thinking of reality as harmony, so when we are in harmony with reality, it is all cool, but when we buck and fight reality, it is like chili, and chili ain't cool....

2.8.2015  51, 61, 39, 12

2.9.2015  30, 65, 60, 25, 60

2.10.2015 30, 16, 15, 10, 20 

2.11.2015 60, 90, 10


In general when anger or dislike arises, people, most people, will always blame the external trigger, but this is not what is actually happening.

Anger or dislike arises from within, to let it arise or to let it continue is a choice.

So , if one blames the trigger then they are not taking personal responsibility for what is happening within, and are ignoring what is really going on, and thus unable to apply the antidote, i.e. non-anger.

Well, and the mind likes to do alot of storytelling, when emotions arise, the mind likes to make stories about what is going on that caused the emotions to arise, prapancha.

http://nalandatranslation.org/offerings/choosing-the-right-word/complexity-and-simplicity/


Better stop there.

For myself, I am currently looking into Right View and Right Intention, Samma Ditthi and Samma Kankappa, this is the Wisdom , Panna section of the Noble Eightfold Path.  Samma Ditthi and Samma Kankappa, but also Yoniso Manasikara, or Wise Reflection.

This explains Yoniso Manasikara rather well.

http://bodhimonastery.org/docs/novdec05bb.pdf


Psi

Meditation Notes:

Samo samo, Meditate, notice any tensions in the body, relax them, any tensions or thoughts arise in the mind relax them.  Doing some Metta, letting Metta emanate from the heart area, and just radiate, if a person comes to mind, send them the Metta, but most of the time it is just the Metta feeling, and the emanating.  If mind loses focus, I have been just returning it to contentment.  Every once in a while the mind will kind of do an expansion, or a dipping into some kind other dimension, or something. Also, some checking in with the arising and passing away of sensations via body scanning, either choiceless awareness or section by section.

 Also, this morning, had a longish lucid dream, knew I was in it but was able to retain enough equanimity to not bounce out of it.  Lucid dreams are so, astounding, everything is so real, I got to pet two happy Golden Retrievers, saw them just as in real life and felt their hair and everything.  Lucid dreams really make me wonder how the mind can do this function. I love dogs.

2.12.2015  30, 70, 30, 30, 26, 31

2.13.2015  8, 25, 54, 19

2.14.2015  52, 69, 15, 60

2.15.2015  37, 43, 20, 10, 30

2.16.2015  60, 10, 64

2.17.2015  30, 30, 30, 30

Yoniso Manisakara  

Been trying to use the mind to Investigate, What is the mind doing in the present moment ?  Is what the mind doing skillful or unskillful?  Was the mind able to substitute the wholesome for the unwholesome recently? How quickly was the mind able to transform from the unwholesome towards the wholesome?  

Rant notes to Self...

Lately when meditating, there has been an increased awareness of the thought stream.  This has been noticed before, though not as clearly.  So thoughts arise, basically on their own, they come up, the mind usually is able to see them for what they are, and thus they simply slide back off of the mind like water on a duck.  But, back to thoughts arising, what is strange about thoughts that arise in the mind is that while they can be seen as not really mine, i.e. they arise of an impersonal process, but...

That some thoughts that arise do not even seem to be from this mind...  Some thoughts that arise are about things that I never even ponder upon, much less think about. At least after after wise reflection, Yoniso Manisakara, if I am using the concept or terminology correctly.  I have looked back into recent events, what I have read or heard, and can not for the life of me understand where some of these thoughts come from.  There must be some sort of subconscious or unconscious stream going on beneath the normal levels of awareness.  And, if this is true, how does this affect our conscious stream of thoughts?  And if this hidden thought stream does affect our conscious stream, one must purify that too. Right?

So true then must we be aware of the mental content, and guard our senses in order to keep the mind from worthless additions to our mental contents.

Vipassana Methods and Samatha Methods work hand in hand to both clean out the mental garbage and to purify the mind, while Daily Activity Mindfulness adds in the effect of guarding the mind from the addition of mental garbage, then with the support of Samma Vayamo, Right Effort,one keeps the mind on the track of that which is wholesome.

But, this all needs careful consideration and reflection through the use of Right View and Right Intention, otherwise it is easy for the mind to be led astray and fall behind in the development of Wisdom.  And , if I am interpreting the Path correctly it is Wisdom that leads the mind to final libertion.

The above rant to self is not disregarding the all important aspects and Practice of Action, Livelihood, and Speech in ways that are harmonious with Reality.

Next rant to Self.

Been using Buddho Method.  Buddho stands for the Enlightnement Principle, so as a word, it is a good reminder, use it whenever, to calm the mind, or bring the mind back to the present moment.

One uses Buddho like this, When breathing in one internally verbalises Bud, when breathing out one internally verbalises Dho.  Or just Buddho, Buddho, Buddho...  Either way, the mind can not be doing something unwholesome and saying Buddho at the same time.

This method is used to both calm and focus the mind , like an anchor.

As of this moment I am still investigating this technique, on the one hand it seems to have been my guiding lantern, much like the Hermit's Lantern in the Tarot, into the subconscious stratosphere, or the Bhavanga Sota, allowing the mind to maintain awareness of areas that were previously obscured by ignorance.  And, on the other hand, the repetition of Buddho seems to be a irritant to a calm and contented mind, the mind of pure awareness where no thought arise, so the repetition of Buddho in that case may be detrimental, kind of like coming out of jhana to keep up with the Buddho mantra, when the Buddho Mantra is just a method to get to jhana.  In other words, One does not need a key once the door is unlocked, just walk in.

I just finished Part One of book in link below, today, amazing.  Part one ends on page 67.  I had to read only a page or so at a time to let it sink in, very deep.

http://www.dhammatalks.net/Books2/Maha_Boowa_The_Path_to_Arahantship.pdf

May all be well

Psi

[quote=
]
http://www.dhammatalks.net/Books2/Maha_Boowa_The_Path_to_Arahantship.pdf


2.18.2015  22, 30, 45, 30, 30
2.19.2015 30, 30, 10
2.20.2015 14, 68, 48, 31
2.21.2015 65, 28, 20
2.22.2015 30, 20, 22, 22, 10, 26

Finished Maha Boowa's book in link above a couple of days ago.  Very practical advice, and very deep at the same time, very deep.

Been incorporating Buddho into Meditation and daily living, hasn't really taken hold yet.  For me it is a reminder to the stay on track, a reminder to stay with the factors of enlightenment, and the practice of the Eightfold Path.  But, what I have noticed is that I have some other Mantras that have already been embedded within the mind, that I use, and have generally taken for granted.

For instance, when anxiety or irritation arises the mind has been trained to say internally In, Out and place the attention upon the Breath.  

Also, when discursive thinking gets a foothold, the mind will revert back to In,Out , Breath Attention, and the discursive thinking is abandoned.

Also, another former technique is embedded in the mind, when unwholesomeness might arise or there is irritation phenomenon, the mind reverts to internally verbalizing Peace, Peace, Peace along with a nice breath and the intentional arising of Peaceful Feelings, and trying to emanate Peace into the world from the Heart Area, like a radar transmitter, each time Peace was Incantated.  Not sure incantated is a word, but it should be.

When the mind observes with conceit or judgement I will note, Human Formation, Human Formation, and to me this means whatever the mind was trying to judge upon a person either good or bad, one must remember that we are all basically just the same type of creature.  No more special than one bird in a flock of billions.... And to be compassionate towards those in need.

Also throughout the day the mind is trained to stay in a natural state, so not much problems usually arise, so the above lines of defense usually do not come into play, anymore.  Though, in the beginning of practice, a few years back, it was a constant battle, remembering, reminding, constantly intentionally abandoning unwholesome states, discursive thinking, anger feelings, and constantly arousing, trying to arouse, and rearousing, the wholesome states, and thinking.  Over and over and over.  Before any Mind training at all, the mind was a discursive wreck, going over and over problems and situations, reminiscing, worrying, anylyzing, what if, or should I have, or I wish I had, or wish I had not, and anger towards someone for this or that, on and on, the mind was a mess...  Thank God for the Buddha, and Science...haha

Back then, the best Method was to focus on one thing, like Right Speech,  and try to not use Wrong Speech either internally or in external speech for a 24 hour period, and whenever I would mess up, the 24 hour clock would start from that point in time.  I would start over the 24 hour clock, and say From this Moment Forward I Will Practice Right Speech.  Funny though, everyday I would get up, and usually say something wrong, sarcastic, cuss internally, what ever, and almost never make it past 8 a.m.  lol  Thanks mostly to my Wife for pointing out Wrong Speech, she is so helpful...

Also, used the same method 24 hour reset method with abandoning Anger. 

So, what else, still meditating, trying to get deeper into the Wisdom aspect, and Wise reflection.  Am I being lazy with practice?  Am I settling for some conditioned mind state?  Am I delusional?  Is the Ego still thinking it is a big deal?  What am I still Craving?  What about conceit?  What am I still restless over?  Why do I still connect with the sensations of Me in the skull? It is obviously just a sensation when wisely reflected upon.  What about the times when I am not connected to the sensations of Me in the skull?  Why the flip-flop?

Also, was wondering a few days back about the complete not me-ness of some thoughts arising, then came across this article by Ajaan Lee Dhammadharo, it is kinda freaky, but some of it rings really true, and some of it I just do not get,not  yet anyway.

 It is titled Consciousnesses.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/thai/lee/consciousnesses.html

Psi

Mindfulness,  a training in perception.

What arises through the sense doors are feelings.  
Feelings in Buddhism are synonomous with sensations, they arise as pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral.

When, for instance a sound arises, for a mind not in training, the mind will notice a sound as unpleasant, then the mind will say something like, I really hate that sound, or I really wish they would stop all that racket, etc.

When, for instance a sound arises, for a mind in training, the mind will notice a sound as unpleasant.  

There is no need for the mind to concoct any further storytelling about the feeling.

 And that is the training.  That is the loophole. The training of the mind to be aware of the sensation as it is in the present moment.


Daily practice log is at new house, currently in the midst of moving, been watching the mind stress out a little... 

Just sensations,  all events arise and pass away, Spring is coming soon, the birds will be back.  How many Springs has this mind yet to see...?


Psi

Still moving to house, still meditating.

Took a break to meditate this morning, still had to get the couch from the garage to the living room, up a half flight of stairs, the couch is an awkward size, tallish and angled, the entryway is also angular, and the stairs have a railing in the way.

And I am by myself , moving, always been a loner, I dislike asking for help, I dislike feeling like a burden...  Yeah, a form of craving.

Anyway it is like a Powerlifting Tetris Puzzle.

So, I meditate first, and am aware of the breath, the mind goes to planning the couch move.  I observe this, the mind comes up with a plan, envisions it, the body tenses and responds, traps tense, hands clench...back to the breath, in ---  out, in --- out, the mind goes back to the couch move, same thing the mind plans, the body tenses.

It was kinda funny to observe, even the facial muscles would tense, then I would relax them, body muscles would tense, I would relax them, the planning thoughts would arise, I would relax them...

Recognize, Abandon, Back to Mindfulness of the Breath...

I wonder how deep this Mind and Body connection runs.  This Character Armor phenomenon.

Also, the Mind was under the delusion that it was partially performing the lifting and turning of the couch, as seen in the body muscle groups tensing, the body trying to physically lean into the mental plan of the couch, haha...

Kind of reminds me of watching people playing video games and moving around and dodging, like that would affect what was happening on the tv screen, same when people jump in a movie, when obviously the movie is not real, not even three dimensional, nothing can get you...

Guess the mind is prone to delusion, i.e. taking what is not real as real.  Perhaps,  some type of survival mechanism.

Mind Body Hacks:

My favorite tensing, is the Brow Furrow, I am always trying to be aware of the Brow Furrow tensing, it is a physical sign of craving and delusion, and when I relax the Brow, the Mind relaxes.

 Good also, to establish a slight smile, I think it helps to get the good juices going, some kind of bio-feedback loop.

Even subtler is the Cranial Sac Pressure and skull muscles, when these can be relaxed at will and kept in a reaxed mode, one can really stay craving free...

Sounds weird, but Ehipassiko...

Psi

Edit, yeah I got the couch to the Living Room by myself, and yeah I am a fool....

2.23.2015  31, 52, 10
2.24.2015  30, 32, 30, 38, 42, 20
2.25.2015  8, 20, 60
2.26.2015  32, 21, 30
2.27.2015  32, 20, 10
2.28.2015 32, 26, 22
3.1.2015  61, 20
3.2.2105  30, 31, 20, 26
3.3.2015  42, 49, 20
3.4.2015  60, 45, 43
3.5.2015  94, 44, 20
3.6.2015  66, 42, 22
3.7.2015  63, 40
3.8.2015 30, 15, 23, 10
3.9.2015 31, 19, 15, 22
3.10.2015  20, 45
3.11.2015  10, 20
3.12.2105  23, 34, 40, 15, 10

Funny, The meditation timer I had been using finally wore out today, buttons stick and will not function properly.  Anicca, everything breaks apart, including this body and mind.  This is kind of a reawakening.  Of course it is not the only thing breaking down around me, and within me too, I suppose, well rather, have to admit.  Funny how the mind clings to and attaches to things.  Even attaches to the body, and the body is like the timer...

Meditating, Calm and Insight, Calming the Mind to allow the mind to settle enough to be aware of the subconscious inner workings, to let the subconscious mental formations arise, to be purified by the objectivity, the equanimity, the calm.  Arising, awareness, passing away.  Mind Content, isn't that the Fourth Foundation of Mindfulness?

Even in everday life, the mind amazes,  even simple things, like today, I am shopping, I see a wood shelf, Mind perceives, "nice wood", pleasant sensation, thought arises, "that's probably a pretty penny".  But, here is the quirky thing when one is mindful.  I did not think of the statement,       "That's probably a pretty penny".  That thought arose due to an impersonal process, Anatta.  In fact, I am pretty sure it is what my Grandpa used to say, and the mind content simply produced an appropriate reactionary meme, i.e. mental formation, to fit the occasion.  Thoughts without a Thinker.  Simple, but weird.  

Karma, cause and effect, is like a fine entangled thread, hard to trace, but sometimes one can reverse engineer the origin of the mind content, and find what we had thought of as ours and mine, was actually borrowed mental formations.  Wonder where my Grandpa had heard the phrase?  And , what is really strange is this phrase has lain hidden in the mind for many, many years, Grandpa has been gone over 15 years now, I had had probably first heard the phrase many years before that.

But, enough on one little mental formation, there are probably millions of these floating around in our subconscious minds.  It is also, I have come to be aware of, that this is where the Intentions form out of.  So, much more the reason to use wise discrimination when purifying the mind.  In other words to abandon the unprofitable states of mind and unprofitable mental formations, and to replace and cultivate the profitable states of mind and profitable mental formations, not just in meditation , but at every conscious opportunity.  Inclining the Mind in this fashion enables the forward progession of Mental Purification.  

Metta waves, 

Psi

3.13.2015  20, 31, 27
3.14.2015  30, 16, 10
3.15.2015 10, 46, 12, 15
3.16.2015  30, 12, 20, 28
3.17.2015  60, 31, 18, 10
3.18.2015  20, 30, 15
3.19.2015  31, 47, 10
3.20.2015  21, 24, 70, 10
3.21.2015  21, 31, 40
3.22.1015  20, 10, 20
3.23.2015  37, 35, 67, 20, 15
3.24.2015  24, 75, 10, 10

 I have been unsure in the past as to whether insight practices actually creates it's own sensations to notice or if the sensations are always there.

For instance, say one notices a skin sensation on the thumb, then the next one that arise is on the knee, then the mouth.  Okay so far, there were three body sensation, but here is the trick to it all, one can be aware of any body part and , usually, pick up a sensation there.  So, is there always a sensation there, even when the awareness is not on a body area, or is there only a sensation there when we are aware of it?  Kind of like if a tree falls in a forest, does it make a sound?  So, to continue, when one gets faster at noticing sensations , is one then creating more and more sensations faster and faster, or is one observing sensations already existing?  And what about in jhana where there is only contentment, where are the sensations then.  Also, what about thought sensations, sometimes some weird thoughts and perceptions arise, where the heck do these things even come from?  Earlier today, I guess my mind drifted or I went into some weird jhana state, and I was watching a cat/owl hybrid in my mind, it was looking around and was on a branch, I was able to watch it for a while by holding the mind steady, then the vision faded away.  But where does that kind of dream weirdness come from?  There is not even a cat/owl  hybrid species on Earth, so how does this arise in the mind?

Alot of rhetorical questions.

Maybe I am not practicing right and this is some kind of sloth and torpor trance side effect. 

Anyway , it is late, Sweet Dreams.

Psi

Hi,

I think there is a difference between the body and the knowing of it.
When I was on retreat last year a question I was asked was wheteher i thought the body felt the pain in my hips or that my mind was percieving it.
For me that opened a similar train of thought like you are experiencing about the sensations of the body.

My take on it now is that the act of guiding your awareness towards a place in the body creates the "knowing" of that place. Without conscioussness there there would not be a sensation. once we rest our awareness on an object in the body the mind creates the knowing of that object using the language of sensations...

Does that make sense?
With Love
Eelco

Yes!  That makes alot of sense.  This runs very deep, the mind does create the mental fabrications!  It seems so clear now, like finding a missing jigsaw puzzle piece.

Working Backwards there is feeling (sensations), contact, and six sense bases.  Before that is Nama Rupa, naming and form, body and mind, and before that Consciousness, and before that arose the sankharas, which stemmed from Ignorance!  So, running forwards, when we are not harmonious with phenomenon, due to disharmonious life, we actually start up the sankaharas, then consciousness, then mind and matter, of which you pointed to, then on down the chain.  

So we do create our own dukkha, our own stress, our own disharmony with it all.  When we are able to abide harmoniously, we are able to sidestep all the nonsense, the mental proliferation and storytelling, the creation of dukkha.  Of course we have to endure and use discrimination when old sankharas from past actions arise to face us, we still are the owners of our past actions.  But, we do have the ability to cut down and even eliminate the future creation of more dukkha.

This process is very deep, and just when I think I understand it, more levels open up.   And I do apologize for not being able to convey this very well ...

But something you said really clicked, 
Which is excactly the insight of the steps within dependent origination.  And going back a little further one can get into the cessation of the whole mess of events.

• From ignorance (avijja) come karma formations/fabrications/volitional formations (sankhara)
• From karma formations comes consciousness (viññana)
• From consciousness comes mind and matter (nama-rupa)
• From mind and matter come the six senses (salayatana)
• From the six senses comes contact (phassa)
• From contact comes feeling (vedana)
• From feeling comes craving (tanha)
• From craving comes clinging (upadana)
• From clinging comes becoming/existence (bhava)
• From becoming/existence comes birth (jati)
• From birth, then aging & death

Need more contemplation, awareness of sensations is only there because of consciousness, and consciousness is there because of past fabricated formations, and past fabricated formations are there because of Ignorance.  This is Ignorance of the Four Noble Truths, which , importantly has within it the cessation of dukkha, and the path leading to the cessation, The Noble Eightfold Path.

Curiouser and curiouser , indeed.

Thank you Eelco, you are indeed a blessing, 

Psi

3.25.2015  24, 10, 43
3.26.2015  16, 38, 31, 10
3.27.2015  30, 30, 37, 23, 10
3.28.2015 25, 10, 17

Reviewing, what has purified the mind?  What works?  Practicing the entire Eightfold Path, yeah all eight.

What else?  At least once a day, in meditation, just let go of everything, I try to do this for at least 5 minutes, as per one of Ayya Khema's Dhamma Talk instructions.  Letting go of everything, any views of am I meditating rightly or wrongly, is this such and such jhana or not, is this the right posture or not, any plans, any memories, any sensations, abandon it all, abandon everything, just let it all go, let even the present moment go, let even the awareness of awareness go, anything , I mean anything that arises to the mind let it go, let the mind go, just to try for five minutes.  This is one of the best pieces of advice I have learned from Ayya Khema.  Just let it all go, try it and see.

What else?  Some important stuff, to this mind anyway,  four links.  All have had an impact, are practical, and from my view, beneficial.


Kalama Sutta

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an03/an03.065.than.html

Practical Insight Meditation

file:///home/chronos/u-4a43f696d00034d4ade00a7c043c7d37dec30c01/Downloads/mahasi-practical-insight-meditation.pdf

The Progress of Insight

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/mahasi/progress.html#fn-7

The Heart of Buddhist Meditation

http://www.khamkoo.com/uploads/9/0/0/4/9004485/the_heart_of_buddhist_meditation.pdf


Finally getting a few days off in a row, catch up on the repairing the house shelter burden, unpacking the material burdens, and meditating, clearing away some mental burdens... 

Burdens, such a weird sounding word.

Psi


Edit, to add this link, Dhamma Lists, good stuff


http://www.insightmeditationcenter.org/books-articles/dhamma-lists/

3.29.2015  23, 80, 10, 21
3.30.2015  23, 30, 30

Noting , labeling, identifying.  Must increase the awareness, must establish the momentum...

Been Noting more, and more, and more, but feel it is not enough, so recommitting to yet more and more

Been Noting daily activities as per Mahasatipatthana Sutta Instructions on Mindfulness, the normal things, and I usually note 2x, like itch sensation, itch sensation, pulsing nerve, pulsing nerve, throat tightness, throat tightness, finger sensation finger sensation.

Sometimes I will note quicker, just the silent noticing, usually when Equanimity establishes, or just use Equanimity as the object of meditation, though I am trying to focus more on insight at this point, and use Equanimity as more of a base to note all phenomenon from.

For a long time , years, I suppose I have been noting throughout the day, initially when I started meditating, I would inner verbalize In, when breathing In, and inner verbalize Out, when breathing out.  I have Noticed that I still do this constantly, espescially when there is the need to drop unwholesome mental states, and arouse wholesome mental states.  Very similar to Mahasi and his instructions to Note Rising Falling.

New Insight, for me anyway, To Note these phenomenon and label them as they are, Impermanent or Anicca, Anatta or Not-Self, and Dukkha.
Also noting and labeling phenomenon as the respective elements, so instead of Saliva Sensation, Saliva Sensation, I might do Water Element, Water Element, or for Movement, Air element, and so on.  Hindrances can also be labelled and abandoned.  

And, more imprtantnly, and excitingly, The Seven Factors of Enlightenment can be Noted and Labelled, and not abandoned but Cultivated and Maintained, and yet one still coninues on with the Noting Method.  Cool, huh?  Well, for me anyway.  Or not-me, not-me, haha.

Also, for the Elements, I prefer to sometimes use other Notes 2x, like Gravity , Pressure, Liquid, Solid, Gas, Energy, in place of the archaic Earth, Air , Water, and Fire.

When walking I use foot pressure, foot sensation, or left , right, When touching with the hands, Touching, etc.

Also, been rotating through body earth contact points, mostly this is a mentally silent noticing, or a whole body scan awareness, and since there is so much going on there, it is silent and super fast.

Have noticed what I had thought of as a Nimitta light, that I thought I was just not able to hold onto, is and has probably been Arising and Passing.  Yesterday Moring it was a three strobe light effect.  Sometimes in the past,  the light has been so bright , I have been fooled and opened my eyes thinking someone was shining a flashlight at my eyes from a few inches away. Sometimes it was like the sun reflecting off of water, or sometimes headlights, or search lights.

Have also noticed, and most recently , about an hour ago , while meditating, there is sometimes a slip, a jump, a lurch.  Like right as you were going to fall , but you catch yourself.  But not like just before you fall asleep but catch yourself, because one is fully aware, at least the moment before and after you catch yourself.  I do not know if this is a cessation or what, or some other meditation phenomenon.

Also, I have felt the jump, or slip, sensation in the solar plexus area, which has only started within the last six months or so, it used to only happen in the head.  This has only happened a couple of times.

Anyway, practicing onward, Noting, Noting, Noting, and always back to the Breath when nothing arises, and both on and off cushion, whenever possible, though I admit I could and should Note even more, Why not?  Plus, I might add the Noting of the Awakening Factors, as per MahaSatipatthana Sutta, and more to delve in to on that Sutta.

The Dhamma is so funny, it is when I thought I knew something that a whole new area opens up to be explored.  It is Genius.

Psi

3.31.2015  52, 23, 20, 20, 48
4.1.2015  99, 30, 54, 20, 37, about two hours of Noting arising , falling of abdomen, while not falling asleep, this happens sometimes, I just stay awake
4.2.2015 35, 2 hours, 40, 34
4.3.2015 80, 95, 30
4.4.2015 90, 70

Many thoughts, insights, ideas, but they have not quite formed themselves, so I want to defer to a link that I think is very helpful, from Ian Andrews.

Bare Attention and Its Uses

http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/3814120


And would like to to share and reflect upon this

Blissful is solitude
for one who's content,
who has heard the Dhamma,
who sees.
Blissful is non-affliction
with regard for the world,
restraint for living beings.
Blissful is dispassion
with regard for the world,
the overcoming of sensuality.
But the subduing of the conceit "I am" [1] —
That is truly
the ultimate bliss.

In full here.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/ud/ud.2.01.than.html#fn-1


And one more thing to share and reflect upon

"Herein, Bahiya, you should train yourself thus: 'In the seen will be merely what is seen; in the heard will be merely what is heard; in the sensed will be merely what is sensed; in the cognized will be merely what is cognized.' In this way you should train yourself, Bahiya."When, Bahiya, for you in the seen is merely what is seen... in the cognized is merely what is cognized, then, Bahiya, you will not be 'with that.' When, Bahiya, you are not 'with that,' then, Bahiya, you will not be 'in that.' When, Bahiya, you are not 'in that,' then, Bahiya, you will be neither here nor beyond nor in between the two. Just this is the end of suffering."

link

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/ud/ud.1.10.irel.html

One can use Suttas as a way to develop Wisdom, perhaps as objects to rest the mind upon and develop, deepen and contemplate thereon.
The Suttas should not be viewed as some religious form of worship, and to be taken with blind faith.  That is a great misunderstanding, and could be a stumbling block for the Mind.  But, personally, I do not see anyone doing this anyway, just a misperception thereof. They are just words, symbols, the rest is up to us...

Also, Investigating the Suttas is not a form of Bibliolatry as found in some Religions.  From what I can tell Buddhism is a form of Training and personally, I do not classify it as a religion.  Anymore or different from, say, Bodybuilding, which is a form of training, and also would not classify as a Religion.  

Just some thoughts...

Oh, and Happy Easter!!!  

Psi

4.5.2015  48, 80
4.6.2015  10, 31, 17, 60
4.7.2015  63, 13, 21, 59, 20
4.8.2015 64, 20, 33
4.9.2015  55, 67

Conceit, boy that is an ugly one, I think I have a craving to not have any conceit within, wierd paradox, I shudder, maybe that is Knowledge of Disgust and Knowledge of desire for deliverence

Anyway, metaphor arose this morning during meditation, the mind is being symbolic and mythical...

So, the external sensations are like a snake, a snake staring at the mind ready to strike, when the snake strikes, it pierces the mind with fangs, and injects the venom, the venom is greed and hatred, and the venom will spread.

Once the venom is within, one must apply antidote, or suffer needlessly until the venom dispels on its own, as all things must arise and pass away.  The antidote?  Non-Greed and Non Ill-Will.  Any force to be stopped must be met with the equal and opposing force.

But, so there is the snake, in front, ready to strike, but, Mindfulness, one trained in Mindfulness, is Faster than the snake, Mindfulness quickly snaps up the Snake from behind the Head before it can bite, place the snake back into the wilderness, then resume the  watch, Guarding the sense doors, allowing no snakes to enter.

In this way, one may develop Mindfulness, and use Mindfulness that is trained during formal meditation and put Mindfulness to use during every waking moment of living throughout the day.  Meditate to train this skill, then one can use this skill for the benefit of all.

Sssssssss.....

So, this is how I train, to be faster than the instinctive reaction, to be a snake catcher, and a snake releaser. If it bites, tourniquet, antidote, Then back on watch!  And Smile.....

Psi

4.10.2015  71, 10, 30, 14
4.11.2015 18, 10, 20, 20
4.12.2015  10, 13, 28, 15
4.13.2015 60, 80
4.14.2015 60, 24, 17, 47

Practicing Calm and Insight, 50/50 ,  or which method  is best prescribed or possible according to initial mind states. And the Noble Eightfold Path throughout the rest of the day.  I been coming across rather rough with others latley, I have had so much Energy, people think I am upset, angry , or irritated, but I am just really full of Energy, out of balance.  It seems that others project what they think is anger upon actions, when actually from this view it is just Energy, This I have to contemplate on, make sure I am not just being a deluded ass....

I think I have answered the question I have always had upon whether the sensations of body and mind are always with or without the awarenss of them.  And the million dollar answer, drum roll.................  They always occur with or without awareness of them.
For when the attention is placed upon an area of the body, or any of the foundations of mindfulness, poof, there it is.
Same as watching the breath, when the mind wanders off to some daydream or whatever, it becomes unaware of the breath, then when the mind realizes that its job was to be watching the breath, poof, there it is, and the breath was occurring without the involvement of awareness.
This awareness is itself a process, Not an I , Not a Self, Neither is the Breath or any of the Body functions, or anything else, it is all just a weird impersonal process of micro moment to moment continuity, with or without "us"; watching.  Believe it or Not...lol



This is how I see it also, Excerpt from Buddadasa Bhikku, it is nice to find someone with such the same ways of thinking,  link after



http://www.abuddhistlibrary.com/Buddhism/B%20-%20Theravada/Teachers/Buddhadasa/No%20Religion/NORELIG.HTM

May all find that peaceful moment today, and expand upon it, like the seed, Peace needs to be fed and watered, or it dies

Psi

4.15.2015  21, 20, 40, 20, 45, 40
4.16.2015  30, 60, 44, 30
4.17.2015  34, 10, 41
4.18.2015  18, 10, 10, 45, 23
4.19.2015 17, 15, 67, 15, 38
4.20.2015 12, 15, 23, 22, 26, 30, 30, 25
4.21,2015 15, 93, 10
4.22.2015 30, 26, 25, 45
4.23.2015  50, 10


Sunnata, Sunyata, Voidness, Not Self ,Clear Empty  

That is mostly the current mind state, but to communicate requires conventional mind, and I forget about the personality view and the troubles it causes, so communication is unbalanced, and it seems I am spreading Dukkha when I feel compassion, I am not speaking at the right time, and it just may be that even if one wanted to give someone the Clear Empty Mind, they can not, each mind must go along the path for itself.
So there is Dukkha, , there is a source of Dukkha, and there is a cessation of Dukkha, and there is a path leading to the cessation of Dukkha.  The path is not yet complete, the Clear Empty mind is almost always there, and there is a disgust when lingering roots of Dukkha are revealed within, Inner sources of Dukkha likened to some plant like wiggling growth, but when seen they can be easliy snipped away.  And then back to the Clear Empty mind.

So practice continues, but since I do not communicate effectively, I must refrain from posting to other than this Practice log for a little while.  For I wish no harm to anyone, yet that is what I cause.  There is Dukkha. I am Dukkha.  When there is no I making there is no Dukkha, so that is where the mind will stay for a while, to assimilate.

Metta  

Psi

4.24.2015 30, 47, 23, 35

Meditation, must have went to dream state?  Was watching a younger person in front of me, it was like I was in a school hallway, then SLAM, that body slammed into my body, I felt the impact, I opened my eyes, it was not just a muscle tensioning though, it really felt like I had just been bodily impacted. Also awaking from sleep, Hypnopompic, there was a nest of wasps moving and writhing,  just in front of me , clear as hell, in the wall, I thought to maybe reach out and see if it was real, but then the image dissolved, and the room was dark, too dark to have seen wasps like that.  This reminded me of Shinzen Young and in his Science of Enlightenment Audio, about how he had the stage of seeing the giant insects in waking , daily activities.  Am I really ready for this interaction with the unconscious?  Is the Foundation of Equanimity strong enough?

Had another very teeny tiny blip moment, barely noticed, but last night for hours, the heart area was wide open, clear, and had the exhilirating sensation percolating continuously, pleasant.

Been using Sunyata as the object for the mind, both in formal meditation and without, states of mind have , at times, been very deep, no body sensations to speak of, unless the mind is brought to the body, in formal meditation that is.

As to Contemplation, this communication phenomenon, well, it seems that what is in ones own mind seems to taint what they view in other minds, for better or worse.

If one is agitated, they seem to think someone else is agitated  If someone speaks from an anatta point of view, and the other person has a personality point of view, things get really screwed up, projections of egocentricity, pride, anger, basically anything can be viewed in another being, even if it is not present at that moment.  And, furthermore to try and expalin the non-egoic mind to someone is impossible, they just will think one is showing off or being narcissistic.  For how could one relate to something that one has not experienced?  It is like the metaphor of tasting the mango.

I also have seen that if one is compassionate, they might read into another entity some compassion, when maybe that was not there intention.  One may think someone is trying to help someone, in some Zen paradoxical way, when really they are just being mean, funny. 

Now this is not to say that one should not investigate, and be honest with ones inner being to see if there are indeed traits such as pride, conceit, and narcissistic mental formations to be uprooted, if that is the path one wants to take, that is.

So theres, the taking things personal aspect, and there is the not wanting to know our own negative aspects, both forms of craving and delusion, sources of dukkha.  Which, I know blah, blah, I-making, source of dukkha.

Another common delusion is anthropomorphism, when we look at our pet and think, oh, our pet is thinking or feeling such and such.  But pets do not have verbage in their minds, as far as I know.

Anyway, Metta to all, and I genuinely mean that.

There will always be rocks and boulders on the Path.  We can see them as obstacles, or as stepping stones.   

Nietzsche?

Psi, Atta or Anatta, that is the question?  To be or to anatta be, thatta is the question that I ask of thee....

Maybe I am just a Dukkha spreader, Anatta used to be the most non-sensical stupid concept I had ever heard of.  But, that is kind of the universal joke, Anatta is not a concept, not a philosophy.  But don't ask me to explain it.

P.S.  If one is reading this, thinking I am trying to teach or preach, that is not my intention.  My intention is simply to share this unfolding process, openly, and it is more like an open diary, thinking out loud, instructions to self kind of thing.  There is the lock, and I am using keys, still fumbling with the lock, I could not help anyone past a lock I have not gotten past myself, eh?  Though , metaphorically, there are probably several doors, and maybe one can fashion there own keys from what is found on the entirety of DHO and beyond.






.

It is not impermanence that makes us suffer. What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not.
~ Thich Nhat Hanh

yeah

2015

4.24  30, 47, 23, 35
4.25  15, 45, 47, 27
4.26  30, 20, 10, 17
4.27  31, 27, 25, 10, 15, 31
4.28  20, 41, 10, 10, 10
4.29  25, 25
4.30  32, 20, 30
5.1  10, 60, 25
5.2  30, 40, 10
5.3  40, 15, 10, 13
5.4  50, 10
5.5  40, 10, 10
5.6  20, 10, 35
5.7  22, 52
5.8  18, 52, 30, 12, 12
5.9  16, 10, 30
5.10  35, 24, 30
5.11  13, 30, 15, 30
5.12  10, 40, 10, 10
5.13  30, 32, 30
5.14  20, 15, 20, 60
5.15  75, 30, 20
5.16  20, 10, 24, 10

Cycles, Biorythms, Life Changes....  Everything is Impersonal and breaks down, changes.  Really went through some irritation feelings arising from within.  Funny, even know =ing that they are internal sensations, there are still times when I catch the mind trying to make up stories and blame external circumstances.  For instance, truck broke down, work schedules me crazy hours, finances are not so hot, bills coming due, getting older, etc. etc..  All stories.  The reality is it is just sensations.  Anyway, I just keep practicing, both on and off the cushion.

On cushion, Samadhi and Insight Methods.

Off Cushion, Placing the mind at the point just after Vedana, and if it strays, gently place it back there, staying with the sensations as just the sensations.  If Tanha does arise, I try to recognize it as quickly as possible and nip it in the bud, (or pay the consequences), and place mind back at Vedana.  Bare Attention.

But, there has been alot of mental turbulence, alot of inner restlessness, inner energy kind of a constant grinding upwelling of grrrrrrness.  Not really anger or anything, just more of dissatisfaction, maybe it was disenchantment or disgust.  I never really mapped myself out on the cycles, but , now see it may have been going on my whole life.  I had always noticed it but have always labelled it Biorythms and thought of it as emotional chemical imbalances, mostly beyond our control.  It always came and went. But, through Buddhist Practiced, this can be worked through and smoothed out quite a lot. 

Mostly, I just kept practicing this last time like I always do, and , over the last couple of days, it all poofed away, and the mind is basically equanimous and naturally resting again.  Thank God for Anicca !  Even the bad shit smooths out, eventually, just gotta hang in there, keep practicing.  probably should have kept a better balance of Samadhi practice going.

Did also have one kind of new experience.  Was meditating and the mind went into a state as if it was in a very clear glass jar.  This is all metaphorical of course,  but, imagine a very clear glass jar, with absolutely nothing in it at all, and he mind is in this jar, empty, inside the clear glass.  Now, take away even the jar itself.  That was the mind state.  No thing.  The mind state was stable for a while, maybe 5 to ten seconds, and I was able to let the mind go back into it a couple more brief periods.

Now, I do not crave this mind state or anything, but it has burned itself into my memory pretty good.  But all in all, the last month has been kind of a dukkha ride, really putting any and all of my skillful means and methods to the test.  I think it is just the Ego acting like a Wild Horse, not wanting to be tamed, not wanting to disband and dissolve.  There are some really, really deep survival instincts and processes within us.

It had been an interesting Month, but not exactly fun, but actually looking back now it is funny, it is just more proof of Anatta.  I mean really, If I had a Self inside this mind and body, I would be in control of all these processes, but since alot of these processes arise due to previous causes and conditions, all one can do is work with the causes and conditions one by one as they arise.

To sum up, This is not always as easy as I may make this sound, I hope what I am trying to relate is not sugar coating this practice.  But , at the same time do see significant changes to the mind over time.  Especially over the years.  Some of the things that happened recently in my life would have in the past turned me into a pissed off son of a B.  But, mostly now it arises internally , and is dealt with and abandoned internally, and no one around me really even notices.  But, go figure, everyone else has their own Dukkha to deal with, why would anyone worry about mine?  In the conventional sense of mine anyway, In the Universal sense, This Dukkha is not me, not mine and not Myself.   It just is.

Psi

2015
5.17. 32, 21, 12
5.18. 22, 60, 38, 12
5.19.  30, 48, 16, 10
5.20.  14, 10, 19, 32

Blending it all together, Continuing the daily living mind into meditation, and continuing the meditative mind into daily living.

When getting up from meditation, say to go to the bathroom, I keep the mind on the walking and foot sensations, maybe noting Left, Right, or foot sensation, pressure, or just silent awareness, whatever is most approriate for the mind moment.  I think that is key, to have plenty of skills and tools in the ole Yogi Toolbox available.

Of note, one skill is to abandon unwholesome states such as irritation or aversion.  While it is best to not let that arise in the first place, sometimes it is useful to have tools to abandon those states once arisen. 

A couple of methods I use.

Wisdom, For example if soemone says something disagreeable, one can recognize and label what was said as sound sensations, or sound waves.  Because that is all it is, in reality.  There is no need to react or cling to sound waves, this goes for if one receives praise also.

Abandon and replace, just let the irritation go and replace, usually I use an internal mental trigger for this, if an unwholesome stae has arisen, I usually revert back to a mantra mind-body connector, Like I will say internally, Peace, Peace, Peace, or Love, Love, Love  , and at the same time arouse the corresponding emotional sensation.

Bare Attention, this is used just to guard the sense doors, I can not seem to really explain how to get in and stay in this state, but one can be aware that it is possible to just exist along and not let phenomenon trigger any unwholesome responses.

Methods, I generally do not use

Ride it out method, just being aware if unwholesomeness and letting it pass away on its own, in its own time, and letting it play out in full.  This method, which I really do not get, seems to me to be based upon the ideas and concepts of repression and shadow sides, shunting off fears, etc.  And, I could be wrong, this is just my view, and I do not know it all, by no means.  Insert humility here.  But the ride it out method seems inefficient, in that one is letting the pattern of reaction and behavior cut grooves, and mold the mind.  
For a fire metaphor.  

Choices.

One can prevent the match strike, which prevents the fire from arising.  
One can watch the fire dwindle down and go out on its own.  
One can continuously feed the fire, keep the fire burning.  
One can pour the antidotal water on the fire, extiguishing it quickly.  

I think the confusion is that some think that by putting the fire out, one is avoiding reality, avoiding dukkha.  But, in my view, that is not the case, for it seems that dukkha is mind made and mind fabricated, so why feed into it?  By letting a process continue, one is actually feeding the process, maybe reinforcing the habit, letting the groove in the mind form and set.  Like a truck in the wet ground, everytime it goes over the path the ruts get deeper and deeper.  

Anyway, mental grooves, they are real right?  Brain close up snapshot below, obviously renetworking the brain is going to take some doing, from my view, each unwholesome path has to be starved off, and each wholesome path has to be cultivated, we are working with living cells, amazing. Plus, there is the unseen energies and whatnot, the subtle existences. Yogi reality.  This is not self...

Close up of brain pic





Psi

Aha!  Okay, If one watches the arising and passing away of each sensation, then that is correct!  If one watches the arising and passing away of each sensation , in its entirety, and to its completion then one is practicing Vipassana Method correctly.  And if practiced correctly the the sensations that arise form moment to moment will be noticed as Pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral sensations.

Aha!  When one does not watch the arising and passing away of sensation in full mindfulnes, then the next stage develops, the attraction or aversion to the sensations, and it is at this stage, that people think they are watching or rather being aware of phenomenon arising and passing away.  Well, from my current view, that is incorrect, what one is doing at this stage is being aware of the reaction to the sensations, and not the sensations themselves.  One has to get back to the sensations themselves in order to practice Insight, being aware of the reactions is already too late.

So, to sum up,

First , Insight Method is being aware of the sensations as they arise and pass away, without being distracted and without interfering.

Second, Watching the Emotional reactions and chain of events that follows arising and passing away is not Insight Method, that is a Samsara Method.

I do now see why there may be some consfusion within Yogis.

Psi

Logging minutes later, too much typing numbers

Too tranquil in recent meditations?  Slipping too easliy into some kind of visual/communicative realms, like I am in a conversation of sorts, or watching lectures or slide shows, but I am not aware enough during these episodes, this is happening even after 8-10 minutes of meditating, sometimes.  This has been happening a little too frequently lately.  Basically I start meditating, and keep dropping all that arises, get to utter stillness, then sometimes instead of staying there I slip into this dreamy state.  Probably sloth and torpor, or imperfections of insight, am initiating more Insight Methods when this starts to occur, just a little to heavy on the Tranquility side of the equation, in my opinion.

Also had a "time slip" during meditation, I had peeked at the timer and was 15 miniutes in, then thought I was about 20 minutes in and was going to stop, but timer said 50 minutes, I was not slumped over or sleeping or anything, just lost about 35 minutes, I mean I was aware the whole time, but it only seemed like 5 minutes.  Anyway, phenomenon, it is gone, history, not judging, just recording phenomenon.

Need to start using body scan more to dredge up any unfinished business in the ole subtle mind and body formations, see what is still in there to deal with.


“In mindfulness one is not only restful and happy, but alert and awake. Meditation is not evasion; it is a serene encounter with reality.” 
― Thich Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation

And I need more of the alert and awake part right now.

Psi

Daily Living update, old Mental Formation and habits still arise, though lessened in frequency and in impact.  Practice both formally and informally has enabled better skills in remembering to use Right Effort and in the quickening of using Right Effort to get back to wholesomeness and maintain wholesomeness.  I am really trying to work on compassion, this body and mind has a lot of ingrained meaness and sarcastic humour left within, it is hard to ley go of.  Some of the sarcastic thoughts still crack me up , on the inside, at least I do not speak all of them anymore.  I used to be unaware of how , even jokes can hurt people, sometimes they do not take what is said as a joke.  Well, as they say, Silence is Golden.  Also, I am just working on being nicer to customers and co-workers when they complain about things not going the way they want, i.e. whining.  I understand it is craving and clinging, and do not really get how they get so tied up in craving and clinging, but, at the same time understand that being so involved with craving and clinging is exactly how I used to be most of the time.  So, I am trying to be more compassionate and understanding without rolling my eyes.    I never really literally roll my eyes, just on the inside, if you know what I mean.

So, when someone is expessing their real time experience with dukkha, maybe I can just note, Other Dukkha, Other Dukkha, and keep movin' on, and not let it infect the mind, so to speak.  And, probably best just to be slient and listen, cuz usually when soemone has dukkha going on, they do not want to hear any advice, they just want to express and act it out.  Other Dukkha, Other Dukkha, I am going to use that to Guard the Mental Sense Door. A Magick Anti-Dukkha Spell, hehe

Psi

There is Dukkha, but we keep on anyway.

Clip is a little over 2 minutes, forewarning,  I do not want to be a time thief,  Can you watch with Equanimity?

https://www.yahoo.com/tv/life-story-barnacle-gosling-jump-nature-series-at-120729485105.html



Psi

Year 2015, Formal Meditation sessions, in minutes, Informal Mindfulness, Right effort, speech , action, livelihood, etc, not recorded in minutes, just practiced 

5.21  57, 10
5.22 27, 62
5.23 36, 15, 30, 10
5.24 32, 60
5.25 42, 60
5.26 12, 15, 30, 34
5.27 30, 15, 30
5.28 50, 45, 25
5.29 12, 10, 30
5.30 31, 27, 22, 13
5.31 36, 17, 37, 13
6.1 10, 40, 21, 40, 10
6.2 25, 10, 20
6.3 31, 70, 20
6.4 30, 30, 20
6.5 26, 20
6.6 27, 10, 20
6.7 10, 48, 16


Spoiler alert, from link above.

The gosling lived!!  Hooray!!

So, watching the video, here is how the awareness of the instinctual emotions arise and fall away, and how I see that Dependent Origination works with all this.  I will have to leave out a whole bunch of mind moments, but here goes.

Surfing Internet, Restlessness, Sight Sensation of Nature Link, Thought arises , craving to see, clinging to wish to see link, clicking link, action, video starts, sight sensation, pleasant sight sensation, baby goose, breathe in , return to equanimity, unpleasant sight sensation, apprehension sensation,  fear for baby goose falling, release apprehension, arouse equanimity, pleasant sight sensation, baby goose can glide!, Okay , I cling to sukkha, which leads to dukkha, unpleasant sight sensation, baby goose crashes to cliff, disgust arises, aversion arises, drop disgust and aversion, arouse equanimity, from wisdom, remembering that this is nature, and that this is just a sight sensation, equanimity while baby goose continues , then disgust triggered, lead to thought sensation, verbal formation, "Who in the hell would film such a nasty video?"i.e. blaming formation, label thought sensation as thought sensation, arouse equanimity again via wisdom of thought sensations, pleasant sight sensation baby goose lands, joy arises, the wordly joy and relief not having to see a smashed up baby goose!  Clinging to sukkha.  Reviewing of phenomenon both internally and externally related to baby goose video.  Posted link to DHO, wanted to share, but it is all so hard and time consuming to do so, knowing everyone will have different reactions, and memories associated with short video, different thoughts, etc.

Left out many many, many steps,and thoughts, sensations, I know, but there is so much that happens in the mind, even in only two minutes, to write it all down and verbalize it all might take hundreds if not thousand of words, which is why, I believe, at some point Verbal Noting becomes Silent Noticing, but then switches back to Verbal Noting when time and oppurtunity arises and presents itself.

Frustration sensation arises at not being able to convey Dhamma into words adequately. Drop Frustration sensation, arouse equanimity and compassion knowing that we are all in this together, even baby goose...



Psi

P.S.  I still cling to the desire to give baby goose a fist bump, or sumthin' !


​​​​​​​Edit, fix format?? 8.4.2016

Thank you for your lights Psi , all around the forum;  It resonnates alot with my experience and presnet discoveries ;
In my experience, it is the same with noting, it necessarly becomes silent noticing ;

ps:  also dropping clinging to giving him a hug

Thank you, it is good to know ourselves and others are on the same path, we are not alone.

Daily meditation, samo stuff, will type it in later


Just expressing a little:

Been mostly a really peaceful mind lately, so many words in the world, so many ideas in the world, it just seems to go on and on.

And mostly, what is the need for all these ideas and thoughts, speech?  

It is much more peaceful without it all, to just have a Mind Stilled. 

It seems that all these ideas, thoughts, mental formations, etc.  all swirl around the same thing, round and round, almost senseless really.

Anyway, want to pass along some excerpts of Ayya Khema, lol, more words

Two exerpts, the whole section really explains alot about Underlying Tendencies and how it realates to the Theravadan Four Path Model.  link at end.


http://www.vipassana.com/meditation/khema/allofus/underlying_tendencies.php


Psi

6.8  30, 18
6.9  20, 16, 10
6.10  12, 10, 50, 19
6.11  65, 10, 26
6.12  20, 21, 33
6.13 10, 28, 10
6.14 32, 15, 10
6.15 15, 10, 43, 16
6.16 35, 20, 30
6.17 35, 20, 18, 29
6.18 30, 34, 10
6.19 13, 10, 30, 10
6.20 50, 10
6.21 10, 45, 20, 25
6.22 45, 42, 10
6.23 20, 30, 10
6.24 20, 45, 14
6.25 56, 58, 10
6.26 20, 20, 16, 11, 4
6.27 33, 20, 10
6.28 45, 27
6.29 10, 16, 30
6.30 30, 48, 30, 13
7.1 10, 27, 25
7.2 10, 45
7.3. 34, 13, 10
7.4 30, 45, 16
7.5 30, 32
7.6 30
7.7 60

So, why meditate, if it is samo stuff?

Well, why take a bath or shower, if it is samo stuff?  Why practice anything, what does it lead to?  What does repetition lead to?  New habits?
Replacing old habits with new habits, old processes with new processes.

Inquiry and Investigation, asking Who is behind a sensation, Who is behind a thought, Who is looking out from the eyes?

Not getting much of a Who anymore, mostly phenomenon is as it is, phenomenon, no Who in Whoville, so to speak, yet must keep investigating, into the shadows, into the subconscious processes, the unconscious patterns, or whatever footprints they leave behind that can be investigated and examined.  To pry out the unwholesome, recoginize the unwholesome tendencies, to not ignore.

To practice kindness and compassion, yet at the same time to not be a doormat or an enabler.  People must survive on their own as best that they can.  The more one can support themselves in Nature the less of a burden they apply to others.  At the least trade some kind of something.  Or , from an old Black Sabbath lyric, "The less that you give you're a taker."  Maybe also, "The less that you take, you're a giver."

I mean to say I am willing and able to help other in daily living, and do not really mind, but sometimes people ask for help with things that they should just simply do for themselves, it is like a laziness....  So when I help, am I really helping?  Or enabling sloth behavior?  What in myself is slothful?  Usually when I notice traits in others that is not liked, it is also still within myself.  Ahhh, the irony of self honesty.

It would be nice to drop all conceit and criticizing 100 percent , once and for all.  The path has diminished this trait, to be sure, and usually it arises due to old habitual patterns, tendencies and instincts.  Mostly one can laugh at the impersonal nature of it all, the mind being just a trickster by nature.  Millions of years of instinct at work and all that.  This is not to say that there is not both a gradual path and a sudden shift, or a combination thereof.  Nor would it be fair to say that there is only one type of awakening.  It does seem that for most awakenings, from what I can tell, and resonate with, is that the Me delusion is dropped away.  The Me delusion being like a Cataract.  So, it is not like anyone gains anything with the initial stages of awakening, but rather loses the burden of the Me delusion, that really just gets in the way.

I am using the word delusion from the standard definition of delusion.

A delusion is a belief held with strong conviction despite superior evidence to the contrary.[1]

For instance, some believe there is a  Me hearing things, despite knowing that it is sound waves hitting the ear apparatus causing nerve impulses.  Where is the Me exactly?  The Me, in the above example does not exist, yet because of a belief, and what seems to be only a belief, most of humanity insists that there is a Me in there hearing the sounds.

Me, despite evidence au contraire.

Despicable PsiMe

7.8 30, 20, 13

I guess I am using like a Koan , or have been for a while anyway.

Just asking, What is behind the thoughts?  Who is behind the thoughts?  Where did that thought arise from?  Was there a source for that thought?

And not trying to come up with an answer, but rather to just let whatever arises, arise, and let that be, let that fade away...

It seems that the mind just makes up stories.  I am on vacation in Panama City with my two daughters right now, fun in the sun!!!
But, mostly thinking arises, perceptions of what is going on, minds seem to make up stores , based upon our current viewpoint, based upon our past experiences, and based upon whatever has been "freshly" imprinted upon the mind recently.  But, even this in and of itself is just more storytelling.

Practicing to gently remain in the present moment, to just be , to flow with it all, no stories, no criticisms.  Dropping the Craving and Clinging whe and if it arises, in the current moment. 

And to remember, just remember to remember, to stay with the moment, breathing as an anchor, body sensations as an anchor.  Seven Factor arousal as an anchor.  

Unsuppressed Mental Silence as an anchor.

Psi

P.S.

Well, it is also amazing that when snorkling , when a small fish comes up, that I would instinctively "jump".  The instinctive reaction is so darn fast, amazing, there was no time to just be equanimous and just be aware.  Probably a good thing, cuz if it was a shark or jellyfish, it would be a good time to get my no-self ass out of the water!!!   :-P

Oh, and I saw my first Buddha statue at the Ripley's Believe it or Not!  

Maybe now I can kinda picture that Buddhism is seen more than a method or a teaching.  It does seem to be misconstrued and perhaps for some, Buddha is taken up as a form of worship, a way for the mind to grasp at someting to avoid the reality of the present moment.   But , maybe that is just the mind making stories, again.

7.9 62, 30, 20
7.10 47, 13, 27
7.11 73
7.12 32
7.13 15, 50, 38

Listening to Waking Up, by Soundstrue, over 30 perspectives on waking up, interesting.

So, here is a perspective on their perspectives, and yes I will remain a little vague.

So, a good teaching was, whe one has the waing up experience, that is good and beneficial, then ask, Well, what are you going to do with it?
And I would like to take that concept further, When one sees anger or greed as a process of separate arisings, What are you going to do with it?
It is like a kid who sees and has examined all of the lincoln logs in a set, can experience each lincoln log, but then does not build anything.
So, I ask, if one has seen clearly the separate parts of what can be made aware of, borken it all down, and can experience what arises, even watching anger arise and pass away.  Well, what are you going to do with that understanding?  I think that being aware of the processes incvolved in being human is the first step, then what one does to transform from understanding how to use this knowledge becomes the new practice, then through practice in this way, the transformation becomes fuller and deeper, more complete.  That ongoing deepening.

Another good teaching was, Go back and remember different aspects in your life, now, notice what was always there,  The situations were different, joy, anger , anxiety, shame, whatever, but do you see the common denominator?  It was always there, unchanging and ever present.  I think the peaker also refers to the Face Koan, What was your face before you were born.  Well, can you notice what was there, what has always been there?  Good pointer.

What I think is a misunderstanding.  Wake up, grow up, clean up, show up.  Well, that is excellent in itself.  But the misunderstanding comes form the idea that this was entirely new and whatnot,  This I do not think is true.  When one practices the entire path, Noble Eightfold Path, for instance,  one does indeed Wake up, grow up, clean up, show up.  What else can Livelihood, Action, Speech , Intention etc. etc even mean?

There were some interviewed that seem to have really waken up, at least my experience resonated very closely, as far as that is in the moment anyway, it was nice to hear collaboration.  And, also, some that were interviewed that seem to have not yet quite gotten the whole picture, or rather to say the deeper understandings, at least not much farther than the egoic level.  But, these are just casual first impression types of impressions, but none the less amazing considering the number of books and lectures some of these people have spewed out there to the public.

One of those interviewed was talking about how in the sixties and seventies, people were thinking all they had to do was just meditate and everything would solve itself.  Yeah, that does not work, there is an entire path, the practice has to flow and shine inot every nook and cranny of existence, hiding parts and fragements does not help, uncovered delusions do not help.

Shadow work, well, this has always been a part of Buddhist Practice, at least the whole Path , as I have always seen it.  Again, nothing new, and yet entirely essential for Pathwork.  One has to really step back and investigate the how and why actions were taken, and self honesty to cut through excuses and rationalizations.  I guess at first I did not think Shadow Work was okay, because they first have you bring up the crappy stuff and reliving reworking it.  But, that is not to be held on to, that is just so one can see how it works in full, the whats and whys.  One has to fully have these things, Shadows, in hand before one can truly let them go.  So, form what I see there are stages to Shadow work, Recognition, Understanding, No Blaming, and Change.  Again, basic Buddhism, in my view.  Then there is always the yeah but, what about Zen Master so and so?  Well, guess they were not practicing correctly and had some work to do, some delusions leftover.  What else can one say, just learn form our own errors and from others errors, and move along.

Psi

Hi again!!  

Practice , practice, practice, In an earlier post soemwhere I mentioned to Never Surrender!  Well, yes surrender , surrender it all.  But , what I meant was to never stop practicing, not give in to the Mundane Path.  

Sometimes I just carry along, wondering why nothing changes, but, I keep practicing, not just meditating, mind you, but fully practicing, remembering to remember throughout the day.  Attention, attention.  Four Supreme Efforts, Brahma Viharas, etc, etc. Right Action, Right Speech, Right Livelihood, Five Precepts.

Eventually it just becomes a flow of life, no practice really at all, and then one day you notice something has been subtracted from your life.  It seems spiritual growth is not really a growth after all, but a subtracting, one does not really get or achieve but loses negative habits and negative thought processes, loses delusions.  Delusions are an energy burden anyway, since they do not line up with reality, delusions require a constant support system, and thus are a burden to the system at hand.

But, lately, I have noticed that a chunk of  irritations, wants and desires,  are missing, where did they go?  Why do they not arise anymore?  Will this last?  Did a root get cut?  Or is it still there, lurking, waiting to regrow?

Psi

P.S.

One more thing, the idea of Adverse Judgement versus Wise Discrimintaion.

That is a tough one, do I see other ideas clearly, or do I preJudge them adversely?  If I use Wise Discrimination I might find a hidden gem, If I use Adverse Judgement I wll kick it all aside, regardless, bullshit and gems alike.  

So, I must train in Wise Discrimination.  Reminder to self.

There is thought, or rather there are thoughts.  Each thought that arises, also passes away.  This is rather obvious.

So thought is indeed a type of movement.

And, there is space between thought, or thoughts.  This too, can be seen as being true.

Then, there is no movement, there just is.

 But even deeper than that, beyond silence, beyond stillness.

Is there more than that level?  Does, or can life go even deeper?

The turning inside out.

So, there is thought, there is the between thought, now, can this area be moved into and examined.  What opens up there?  These are just words, but pointing to something, that is actually not a something...  

This is the current investigation of the mind.  Investigating what is beyond the stillness of the mind, beyond the non-movement.

Psi

So, this may all sound a little weird.  Time to sleep, but work sometimes has me on a weird work schedule, so I am laying here napping, meditating, napitating....

Working with the thought level of mind, thoughts coming in , there has always seemed to be a subtle level of mind where there has seemed to be a teacher transmitting, or a dream type of lecturing.

Now, a realization hit me, there is no subtle teacher there, there never really was, but there is a teaching.  The teaching tries to come through , and the mind picks it up, and what else can it do , but express the ideas into words.  It seems that it is on this level of mind that is where the Lamas communicate, the HGA, The Masters, all of that type of phenomenon.  But, as there really is no self, it is none of those, deeper than that those again are just symbols interpreted by the mind of that which is Indestructible.

Perhaps the Indestructible is the Teaching itself, the Insight behind Thought.  No Teacher, but Teachings.  Indescribable, yet trying to convey itself into words, Formless into Form.

Wanted to put this down into words, these type of thoughts slip away so easily, like gold dust through an open hand.

Or , maybe I just need some sleep, lol....

Good Night, See you in dreamland

Psi

I suspect one thing is that for a lot of the gurus, they tend to think what worked for them is the best way for everyone.  It kind of makes sense because all the other ways may be questionable in their eyes, suspect because not personally experienced, whereas their way obviously works as they have seen it personally!  Also I think whatever teaching a person follows, there is going to be a lot of personal influence on how it is followed.  So zen master soandso may have not had a lot of shadow self issues compared to others or dealt with them in subtle or other ways over time and soandso may assume for that reason that putting a lot of effort into that is not needed, whereas for others with different backgrounds and different issues, it might be more of a problem if not worked on more deliberately.  I don't think anyone has exact conscious understanding and access to every tiny little nuance of exactly how their development has brought them to where they currently are and how much each specific influence has contributed. Without that knowledge, it's IMO probably not possible to accurately prescribe that level of detail to others either.  
-Eva 

I think Teaching was the wrong choice of words, I think it may be better understood if I used the word Insight, I am replacing the above as so.  And it seems that this Insight Messaging comes from a different level of Consciousness that I am used to, hard to explain.  Pehaps it is just the inner mind and all the stuff that is in there communicating with itself.  Or , it could be better explained if consciousness were a holographic model of some sort, i.e. Indra's Net.  Could be just Mental Formations , Mental Formations beyond the Normal Consciousness Mode.  

I really do not know, I just felt compelled to write it down.

It seems strange to even discuss a day later, kind of like , what the hell was I even talking about?  Yet, I know when this stuff is happening, it is as real as rain.  Oh well, can't explain everything...

Psi

Yeah, that is why I am not much into gurus, never have been, I think this has to all be worked out on our own.  I do see a huge amount of value in some teachings, and advice and experiences from fellow practioners, and advice and experiences from teachers.

But, they can only point the way to the door, we have to walk through for ourselves.

I am not completly sure what I was trying to explain in my posts about what I was labelling Teachings, other than this.

I was experiencing a mental phenomenon in which thoughts were arising that were very wise and pertinent, and they were coming through as if someone were teaching and communicating to my mind.  I think this is probably a normal function of the mind, but generally an unused function of the mind, and I could not say much more about it, being such a novice and all.

And, I can see why it is suggested why one should not discuss such matters.  But, to me, it is all just mental phenomenon.  But , if it is not, and it is some kind of telepathy, then my whole mind is going to be turned upside down and inside out, for then each thought and idea we convey enters into the Universal Consciousness.

And if that is true, then we must all be very careful and considerate of not only what we say and do, but the even very thoughts that we allow.  For then, even thoughts are then as real and have effects possibkly beyond our wildest imagination.

And then again, this could just be sixth jhana.

Psi

7.14  40, 19, 25, 10
7.15  10, 15, 30, 16
7.16 43, 49, 10, 10
7.17 60, 35
7.18 14, 26
7.19 60, 10
7.20  32, 36, 58
7.21 30, 42, 36
7.22 21, 46, 10
7.23 11, 36, 20
7.24 30, 30, 15, 40
7.25 11, 20, 31
7.26 40, 10, 10

Well , it has been several years of daily formal meditation, and at least two years of bare attention, right effort formula training.  
Tranquility, Insight, Right Effort , Precepts, and the rest.

So.... review.  What was at first an all out effort has gradually changed into an easy gliding along.  Old negative habitual tendencies have been pretty much replaced with new positive habitual tendencies.  Effortless effort and all that.  Peace of mind can usaully be revamped with a good clean deep attention on a breath cycle and a non verbal reminder to be mindful of the moment.  Monkey Mind has been pretty much trained away, except in sleep, or distressful situations.  These two areas need some work, but really not a big deal.

Of course there is still some old conditioning to work through, Shadow stuff, forgotten stuff, etc etc.  But most of the heavy lifting seems to be done.  But, I could never say that for sure yet, as reality has a way of humbling any ego that may remain.

So, after contemplating these subtler thought sensations , refer to last couple of threads, are just that, more sensations.  These too , if seen as separate, as they have been in the past, would only lead to fragementation..  Well, fragmentation only leads to conflict, and conflict leads to suffering.

So, all is welcome, all is as it is, phenomenon all.  Thre is still alot of curiousness, and actually the last few days I am unable to write down all of the insights, so some slip back into the background.  Insight is hard for the working guy to maintain, at least for this mind, as it is now.

But, it does seem that every thought, every action, flows on and has come from every other thought and action.  Constantly flowing.  If you have ever seen the Movie, the Butterfly Effect, or are familiar with the concept of the Butterfly effect, you will know instantly what I am getting at.

I have always seen this for many many years, and I guess that is the underlying reason I get so discussive about how some ideas are presented.

Because, you see, thoughts and ideas, are like seeds, sometimes the seeds of thought take root in minds, and grow due to impersonal processes,  sometimes they do not.

Which is why select care is needed in what is said and not said.  Especially since not everyone meditates or follows precepts or even gives a hoot.  So, some thoughts may start out as innocuous, but still grow and thrive in the consciousness of humanity as a whole, and cause all sorts of future conflict, chaos, and suffering.

All, the better reasoning to shake off all previous conditioning from the mind, which is what I am investigating now.  



May we all find Peace

Psi

P.S.  I see that writing this out, it may be viewed as someone showing off attainments or something.  But, that is not my intention at all.

Firstly,  I have never claimed any attainments that I can recall.

Secondly, My writing this out is to show, with honesty, that with persistence, change does happen.  And yes, it is definitely worth it, at least for me it has been.

To be blunt , the Eightfold path is Real, and not just a bunch of Bull Shit.  But, nobody has to take anyones word for it, just see for yourself.

7.27  21,57,10

Where there is becoming, there is  I-making, when there is I-making, there is fragmentation, where there is fragmentation, therein allows conflict to arise, where conflict can arise there is friction, suffering.

Where there is no Becoming, there is no I-making, where there is no I-making, there is no fragmentation, where there is no fragmentation, there is no conflict, where there is no conflicts, there is no friction, no suffering

There is the ordinary state of mind, the thoughts, the thinking of this and that, the mind that knows this and only this can never really be free, this mind thinks that state is all there is.  It tries to think itself out of the box, always seeking for a better thought , a better way, a solution.  Therein lies the conundrum.  Just a glimpse of something different, not an intellectual glimpsing, but at least a little glimpse that there is a differentness, a space between the thoughts.  To catch that space and expand from there, to let the space continue, without the I-making interfering.

From there, no ill will can arise, no conflict can arise, etc.  But, it is not a lazy, non helping, slothful state.  Instead, the opposite, there is a freeing up of energy, compassion, but tinged with the reality of what can and can not be accomplished within the moment.

Off to work,

and to remember to remember.  

Psi

This is kind of a repy to  another post  http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/discussion/-/message_boards/message/5763112, but I did not want to clog up someone elses post, with somewhat unrelated material, but yet had some more thoughts.

So, just wanted to add, that while initially shocking it was to see a relationship between the process of Alzheimer's disease and the process of Mental Training, as I am experiencing it anyway,  it really is not all that surprising, upon reflection.

When one discrimintates between wholesome and unwholesome thoughts, and abandons the unwholesome, then the practioner probably is killing off and starving brain cells and tissue.  But then, when one arouses, maintains and grows wholesome thoughts, then one regrows a better and an improved process, probably through neuroplasticity.  Though this process is not as fast as we would always like, I think the human brain only creates about 10,000 new neurons a day, or some such.  This does not include that there is probably some substituting and recyclying of processes and neurons going on.

So, in this way the mind, being an impersonal process ,is cleaned up, what are useless thoughts, negative thoughts, unwholesome and the like, are cleaned up, fragmented thoughts are discarded.  Then all of this is replaced by wholesomeness and useful thoughts, wisdom and understanding.

Anyway, it all works, and I suppose how it works is mainly speculation, so sorry.  And, mostly from my view the Narrative Self was not such a good invention of the Human Mind, it is/was mainly a critcizer, comparer, random thought generating type of process, and kind of delusional when you get right down to it.  The Narrative Mind likes to tell stories after the fact, but does not usually get the facts straight, and if one actually follows the instructions of the Narrative mind it usually leads to bad decisions.  Case in point Addictions, Greed, Anger, Violent acts, etc.  This is not to say that one can not develop a Wholesome Narrative Mind, as in Shad Helmstetter's work, "What to Say When You Talk to Yourself."

And jeez, wht about the HGA and channeling phenomenon, now we would have to add an extra Narrator into the equation,  And , I have been thinking, this HGA phenomenon may be going on in the background of the mind, influencing our thoughts and actions whether we believe in it or not, or know of it or not.  Which is why it would be of utmost importance to clean up the mind food, by discarding the unwholesome and cultivating the wholesome, would not want to be unintentionally growing any nasty shadow gollums behind the mind scenes, at least I prefer not to...

Anyway, things have been pretty peaceful, have been trying to be aware of larger cycles, like when the mind has stirred up stuff arising to the surface that has to be worked through and all that,  It seems there may be some sort of biorythm at work, a process, but I have never really been able to pinpoint anything.  I had thought it was tied to migraines, but now I have not had a even good headache for a while, strange.  I should track any headaches on a calendar, if I get them again, that is.

It may be time to crack open The Little Book of Hercules: The Physical Aspects of the Spiritual Path by William Bodri

Psi

[quote=
]It may be time to crack open The Little Book of Hercules: The Physical Aspects of the Spiritual Path by William Bodri

PsiFrom Amazon's listing of book mentioned above.

Using the Greek story of the Twelve Labors of Hercules, which outlines the progressive stages of spiritual development that spiritual practitioners in all spiritual traditions go through, this book presents full details on the step-by-step progression of the physical transformations that occur to practitioners. Whenever someone starts to consistently cultivate spiritual practice in a devoted way, there are physical changes that will occur to the human body. These physical transformations, called "gong-fu" in the eastern spiritual schools, are non-denominational signposts of spiritual progress. If you cultivate spiritual practice sufficiently then these phenomena will arise. If you don't practice correctly, they simply won't appear. Their appearance is a matter of proper devoted effort. These phenomena include such things as the awakening of kundalini (yang chi) within the body, the opening of the chakras and purification of the body's energy channels, hormonal transformations, the calming of consciousness, the experience of refined mental states described as "emptiness," and various other mental and physical phenomena. Normally people think these phenomena only occur to individuals following eastern cultivations traditions such as yoga, Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, and Vajrayana. However, these phenomena that arise are totally non-sectarian and non-denominational. They equally occur to devoted spiritual followers within Judaism, Islam, and Christianity. If you cultivate spiritual practices sufficiently, these purification transformations will occur and if you don't cultivate meditation or other spiritual exercises, you will not experience them. Your religion has nothing to do with it. All genuine religious traditions employ cultivation practices designed to help you achieve a quiet mind. Because thoughts die down due to these practices, this resulting mental quiet is described as peacefulness, silence, cessation, calming, purity, and emptiness. Your mind empties of busy thoughts and so you begin to experience mental peace. When your mind quiets, proper spiritual practice requires that you remain aware during this experience rather than try to suppress thoughts from further arising. The practice of maintaining awareness while mentally quiet is called witnessing, observing, knowing, or introspection. As the mind quiets, you continue to watch your mental continuum but without attaching to it. The gradual calming of your mind results from successfully letting go of thoughts, and because your body’s life force (chi) and consciousness are linked, as you let go of thoughts you also drop the habit of clinging to the energies you normally feel in your body. With proper spiritual practice you learn how to detach from these energies and let them function without interference. Once you learn how to do this, your kundalini energies will arise and their natural circulation will start to transform your body. Those energies will open up your chi channels and chakras and transform your physical body, purifying it. As your chi purifies, so will your emotions and habit energies. As you progressively let go of your chi, it will also revert to its natural circulation which has been suppressed by errant thought patterns. Cultivating a quiet mind leads to your kundalini arising, those energies purify your channels and chakras, that purification leads to a greater degree of mental purity or emptiness, and the two components of body and mind reach ever increasing levels of refinement. This book presents full details on this step-by-step progression of transformations that occur to practitioners on the spiritual trail. It covers the meditation practices that successful adepts have traditionally used throughout history, and non-denominationally links the gong-fu experiences of these practitioners with the stages of the spiritual path and the ultimate quest for self-realization, or enlightenment.

I am finding this to be an excellent explanation on greed , anger, and delusion.  Especially delusion, or moha.  It seems moha, especially in an untrained mind, can keep the mind running in circles all day, with no escape, on and on.  But, in a trained mind, one free of moha or at least a mind that has the capacity to at least temporarily free itself of moha, the mind can do what needs to be done in the present moment, and then rest in silence, and gather energy for when it is actually needed.

I woud not say that there is an elimination or suppression of greed, hatred, and delusion, but rather a subtraction of those mind qualities, and this in turn liberates the mind.  What is left is a natural peace and silence.  When greed , hatred, or delusion are present in the mind, then there is disturbance, this should be rather obvious.


Mindfulness with Breathing Buddhadasa Bhikku

http://www.dhammatalks.net/Books3/Bhikkhu_Buddhadasa_Anapanasati_Mindfulness_with_Breathing.htm#LECTURE FOUR

DEFILED OR NOT? 
There are many different characteristics of the mind to contemplate here, and all of them must happen naturally by themselves. They are observed as they really exist, in the very moment of their existence. The characteristics to note, as specified in the traditional way of speaking, begin with "whether the mind has lust (raga) or is free of lust" You all know what lust means. Besides the usual sexual lust, there is non-sexual lust, also. The meaning of raga is broad. Sexua1 lust is called raga and lust toward things such as money, jewelry, gold, food, housing, and possessions is called raga. There also can be lust toward individuals, for instance, love (non-sexual) of one's employees or servants. The Pali raga has this broad array of meanings. Does the citta have any of these types of raga at this moment or is it free of lust? If there is lust, then contemplate its presence clearly enough to distinguish what kind of lust it is. Know what it is to have raga in the mind. If there is no lust, then contemplate its absence. Breathe in and breathe out while experiencing the actual state of mind in that moment.   (125) 

The next characteristic of mind to contemplate is dosa (anger, hatred, aversion). The meaning of dosa is broad, also. Sometimes an external object - a person, a situation, or any thing - causes us to be angry. Any dislike in the mind is dosa. It can even arise from within, without any external object. When the mind is oppressed, irritated, offended, or resentful it is calleddosa. We contemplate whether this mind has dosa or not. If it has, contemplate, know, and understand this state of dosa. If thecitta is free of anger and hatred, then know that state. This is the second characteristic to observe. (126) 

The third characteristic to observe is moha (delusion and confusion). Moha is to feel infatuated with something due to not knowing that thing as it really is. For example, when we are doubtful something we cannot help but think about it. Or, when there is hope or expectation or whatever, we cannot avoid dwelling on it. Moha can mean "astray or lost," and it can mean "dark or dim," that is, full           of doubt and ignorance. Then, one kind of thought or another will arise out of that doubt or ignorance and will ferment in the mind. That is what we call moha. We should know whether there is delusion in the mind or not. If there is moha, then grab it and contemplate it. If the citta is empty of delusion then contemplate its absence. Always contemplate this state of mind while breathing in and breathing out. This is the third characteristic. (127)                                

When meditating there has been the entering into what is like the background snow of a tv set, and I have been gently trying to push awareness to the in between the little pixels.  This seems to work.

Also, there has been the pushing of the awareness into the subconscious and unconscious areas more, there have been more hypnagogics, and hypnapompics, visions, formations, etc.  And am currently working to stay equanimous so as not to be pulled so readliy away from these states, or to be sucked into and lost within these realms.  Just trying to be observing phenomenon while observing phenomeon.  Earlier I had thought these phenomenon to be imperfections of insight, but it could be that the phenomeon is the fourth tetrad of the foundations of mindfulness, mental objects.  Either way, sensations, phenomenon.  Before, I would practice noticing them and dismissing them, Now, I will move more to letting them pass away on their own, but remain equanimous and aware.  In other words, letting the full arising and passing away take place.  And some of the formations are rather lengthy in nature. This is taking some doing , at this time.  For on the one hand, soem of the images are so fascinating and relate to my ego formation personally, like seeing various gemstones visions, and I want to examine and hold them all permanantly, thus it entices the mind to cling to the formations.  It may sound silly, but , for me, geology has always been a fascination, and to see this level of craving and clinging at the sub, or unconscious level along with the greed, was somewhat surprising , surprising that it was dormant in the recesses of the mind.  Hence the word, unconscious, I suppose.  

All this along with the constant daily living 8fold practice, which I need to get back to all seriousness of, wholeheartedly, as I am feeling the pressure of mind and body impermanency.

Time to get all the moving parts back on the correct direction.  Time will tell.

Psi

And this, just have to pass along, so similar to Vipassana

Extract from Page 159 of ‚Inside the Atom‘ by Isaac Asimov

"For one thing, chemists now have a new tool with which to explore the chemistry of living tissue. (This branch of the science is called biochemistry.) In any living creature, such as a human being, thousands upon thousands of chemical reactions are all going on at the same time in all parts of the body. Naturally, chemists would like to know what these reactions are. If they knew and understood them all, a great many of the problems of health and disease, of life, aging, and death, might be on the way to solution. But how are all those reactions to be unraveled? Not only are they all going on at the same time, but there are different reactions in different parts of the body and different reactions at different times in the same part of the body. It is like trying to watch a million television sets all at once, each one tuned to a different channel, and all the programs changing constantly."

7.27  21, 57, 10
7.28  33, 48
7.29 60, 20, 32, 44, 15
7.30 10, 50, 22
7.31 30, 23, 24, 30
8.1 11, 30, 45, 27, 23
8.2 42, 27, 24
8.3 11, 14, 15
8.4 10, 10, 30
8.5 20, 17, 37, 20
8.6 12, 23, 30
8.7 15, 10, 30, 46
8.8 60, 23, 10
8.9 30, 12, 60, 28
8.10 50, 15
8.11 30, 30, 10, 15
8.12 10, 15, 30
8.13 30, 30, 30
8.14 30, 30
8.15 30, 12, 60, 28
8.16 33, 26, 20 
8.17 10, 10, 20
8.18 35, 32, 10
8.19 32, 10, 32, 27, 16
8.20 10, 50
8.21 27, 42, 10
8.22 15, 16, 30, 21
8.23 35, 45, 10
8.24 30, 26, 30, 21
8.25 38, 11, 10, 30
8.26 12, 30, 63, 30
8.27 10, 35, 22
8.28 30, 15
8.29 21, 32, 10
8.30 28, 10
8.31 60, 50, 33
9.1 20, 35
9.2 13, 75, 26
9.3 20, 10, 14
9.4 34, 80, 18
9.5 10, 32, 10
9.6 21, 41, 10, 10
9.7 35, 55 16
9.8 60, 25, 10
9.9 80, 36
9.10 60, 40
9.11 20, 16, 13, 23, 60
9.12 30, 48
9.13 20, 10, 30, 10
9.14 40, 60, 14, 30, 35
9.15 20, 40
9.16 35, 30, 30
9.17 26


"Slowly I turned...step by step...inch by inch...,"   

Psi

Kind of a Vaudeville reference, referring to the inching along of practice, the triggers that cause delusion, and the shaking out of the delusions.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slowly_I_Turned

Funny , huh?  Stimulus, delusion reaction triggered, mental pattern acted out, delusion broken....  Dependent Origination.... Samsara, The liberation from delusion, the falling for the trigger again and again.

I Love Lucy demonstrates Dependent Origination  3:38

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTnGpaY3VKY

9.18 30, 22, 10
9.19 21, 30, 66, 45

General Update and some phenomenon to investigate, musings

Mostly life is moving along, it seems that because of sustained practice, i.e. Mindfulness, four supreme efforts, brahma viharas, TWIM, Bare Attention, etc, throughout the day, combined with the formal sitting practices of Samma Samadhi and Samma Sati, have led to:

Basically an effortless moving of the mind in the correct direction.

Thoughts when they arise throughout life are less of a nuisance, if they arise at all.  And alot of the time the thoughts that arise are related to the Dhamma. People are understood more easily, social interactions run rather smoothly.  Sometimes it is best to just be silent and let everyone do their little play acting, and just watch their emotional displays arise and pass away.  Sometimes people just want to vent stuff. Mindful listening. It seems fairly easy to arouse joy in others, as long as they are stable that is, Joy seems to be infectious.  Also, People seem to naturally respond to wholesome intentions and genuine kindness.

During meditation there is still some rocky terrain, sometimes the mind is not as peaceful as others.  Seems that stuff gets stirred up from the depths of the mind, and has to be contended with.  And that is fine, it is all part of the process, not always fun and sunshine, but patience wears it down.

In the deeper states of meditation, still investigating the visionary mental formation phenomenon.  It goes like this.

After a period of time meditating, and the mind becomes quite still, I focus in on the little energy sparks that come and go, then gently push the mind into the inbetween spaces of those little sparks.  This somehow opens the mind into a lucid mini dream type of phenomenon.  These mental pheomeon, as far as I can tell, are either.

1.  Coming from deep within the mind that I do not recognize them form any memory or being linked to any previous experince in this lifetime.

2. The pheonomenon comes from outside the mind, from the universal consciousness, or morphogenic field.

3. Fantasy mental pheonomenon.

4.  Sumtin' else entirely

So, anyway, maybe it is Infinite Consciousness, or maybe it is Imperfections of Insight, Time and Investigtion will tell.

So, here is a couple of examples, from last 45 min, session,  spoiler alert ahead, lol.  Vision of someone I do not know doing a handstand.  Vision of brother in law and someone I do not know, Vision of Dark Emperor from Star Wars comes in and, guess what?  He is not dead, and, well, he did say, in the movies anyway, not the vision,  "Do not underestimate the Power of the Dark Side".  So haha, have to wait and see the movie.  Sometimes this mental pheonomeon goes a little deeper and lengthier, but oh well, mind stuff.

One more phenomenon happening.  After a meditation session, sometimes , like before bed, I will go ahead and continue into the sleep realm, sometimes.  Generally I lay in bed in a Mummy pose, hands crossed on chest.  Then relax every thing imaginable in the body, and the mind being already calm.  

Then, sometimes I kind of am just there, but everything is perfectly still, including the mind, but then the mind, not moving at all either, is kind of there , not there.  But, here is what is kind of funny, when I use intention to bring myself back into normal wakefulness, sometimes a couple of hours have past, sometimes more.  And my arms are numb, legs kind of stiffish.  Which indicates the body has not moved at all, it stayed perfectly still during all of this.

Anyway, been training for a 5k on Oct 4th, shooting for a PR, been ramping up the running, following Hal Higdon's Intermediate plan.  Plus the usual,  pullups, pushup , dips, situps, etc. G2OH, Squats, Deads, etc, though I admit I have been keeping it light latley, can not afford injury so close to racetime.  Anyway  That keeps me fairly physically grounded, and in touch with some painful reality to boot!

Work , been getting a little overtime, blah!  Gets in the way, but , what can ya do?

Family life going smooth, two daughters learning to drive.  Good Equanimity Practice, right there.  Wife is a sweetie, except when I am an idiot, more Equanimity practice, right there. 

All in all, This mind and body is not the same as when I started to practice, things change over time, the mind does respond, and it seems that practice eventually saturates into all levels of the mind, and the process kind gains an inertia all on its own, like being in a stream... Though there are times the mind can get shaken up pretty good, still that way for me, at this time.  And that concludes the General Update.  

Good Night!

Psi


P.S.  Reading the Mind Illuminated by Culadasa, Immergut, and Graves, on page 52.  This is a very good instruction manual!  Very well presented so far.  I am only going through a couple of pages a day, as it is very practice oriented, basically I am rebuilding a foundation, in case I have missed any practice points along the path.  So far so good.

Practice both on and off the cushion is going rather well.  Mind is pretty easy to still at this point of practice, anytime , anywhere. Wondering if it will all just slip away, the stillness.  During sleep and upon awakening from sleep, the mind will be in turmoil, so I know that the turmoil state of mind is still here, not vanquished.  There is still some greed, though not near as bad as it used to be, now it is just buying music or a shirt or somesuch, and buying anything now feels more like a preprogrammed meaningless habitual chore, pointless. Getting tired of the whole drone like mental system, samskaras. I know what needs to be done, yet I am cling to this last bit of greed for some reason, laziness I suppose.  Anger is just nothing more than the occasional irritation.  But, it is true, one has to see how all the stability of mind holds under the various stresses life has to offer. i.e. Aging , sickness, death. Then how does the mind react?

There are still some cycles, they seem mostly related to biological underpinnings.  i.e. not enough sleep, work stress, too much excercise, etc.

 I really need to set up a "push through" self retreat time, up the intensity a little bit, focus in on the Insight Methods more while maintaining Equanimity, see what gets stirred up, see what is left to deal with, and deal with it.

 Have to plan out a plan of action.  There is alot of Equanimity, and it is just nice to relax in that.  That could be a danger.  It also could be that between work and the excercise plan I follow just does not leave much energy to push through.  Maybe I need to find a more wholesome balance, the body and mind can only do so much.

For now I will just keep practicing, I honestly do not think I could stop if I wanted to at this point.  Formal Samatha meditation, TWIM, the Four supreme efforts, Metta, Bare Attention, Dhamma contemplation, all that is just so ingrained at this point, it kind of happens on its own. Moment to moment.  Same as I do not think about tying my shoes, putting on clothes,  or brushing the teeth, automatic, priority.

It wasn't always this way.  Not by a long shot, my mind used to be 24/7 turmoil of agitation, pissed all the time, restless all the time , always wanting this wanting that, mad at what someone said, mad at the news, on and on, round and round.  Alcoholic, Nicotine Fiend, Pothead, yada, yada, all done, long forgotten, like some other life, perhaps in a way , it was another life... It all passes away...   

So I am not making claims or anything or bragging or anything, just sharing the current experience,  because some questions come up from time to time about practice results, and why practice at all, etc, etc. 

Why would anyone practice?

But, I ask, Why would anyone not practice?

Anyway, this was cool, I thought


Psi

Race Time, 5k in the morning, goal is to set PR, heart is spounding in chest like a giant piston, innards upset and nervous, smiling, hands cold.  Maintaining a semblance of Equanimity in the Mind, but the Body is in Battle Mode?  What is up with that?  Are there submind functions at work here?  Very interesting to observe, the mind is in a relative silent peaceful state, yet the body is still on heightened alert.  Hard to get any sleep when the heart is pounding away .

Will try to relax, breathe deeper.

The other day I also noticed, while I was running, that while there was plenty of pain in the body, legs, feet etc, the mind area had no pain, so it was kind of as if there was not really any pain, though there were pain sensations, does that even make sense?

I am going to practice now until race time, see if this can energy can be turned into Metta.  I am very grateful for the ability to be able to run at this point in time, and I know someday the ability to run will come to an end.  My heart goes out to everyone who has struggles imposed upon them either from themselves or from the external circumstances.

Just writing this has helped to regain composure, which is settling the body, this is like riding a wave.  

Race Time, t minus 12 hours 8 minutes.

Excited again, oh jeez, I have and am creating my own dukkha, and I think I like it, or is it just excess energy?  I might have to contemplate deeper into that thought.

I wonder if the Buddha ever ran, just for kicks, to shorten his daily journeys.

t minus 12 hours 2 minutes

kayanupassana, grist for the mill

t minus 12 hour 1 minute

Psi

12 hours flat

Life ticks away....


Metta to all

Interesting, just finished a 45 minute formal sit, tranquility coupled with mindfulness. There must be some submind phenomenon within the body and mind complex, an inner workings behind the scenes of conscious awareness.  For, now, after the tranquility meditation the mind and body are both in a state of unification, an equilibrium. Everything is calm again. Breathing in , breathing out, Tranquilizing the Body formations, Tranquilizing the Mental formations, Tranquilizing the Mind States, then the human formation becomes clearer, and one is better able to investigate the Dhamma.  Very Interesting indeed, the four foundations of Mindfulness, a reality.

Race time , t minus 9 hours, 50 minutes.

Psi

Metta to you Psi ! and Metta to all

The Buddhist and the Neuroscientist

What compassion does to the brain

Kind of old news, but still, good reminder, that practice does have physical results, changes are not just imaginarily in the mind only.  Some other links of use embedded.


http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/07/dalai-lama-neuroscience-compassion/397706/
Psi

The logging of Formal Meditation times, alot of catch up, from 9.19.2015 last logged, transcribed from the paper journal.

9.20 10, 10, 30, 10, 22
9.21 30, 70, 30, 10, 20, 16
9.22 10, 15, 10, 60
9.23 10, 20, 60, 10
9.24 30, 60, 45, 36
9.25 45, 30
9.26 45, 10
9.27 60, 45, 15
9.28 30, 45, 17, 20
9.29 60, 10, 10
9.30 23, 45
10.1 45, 45, 10
10.2 23, 30
10.3 10, 15, 15, 45
10.4 10, 15, 50
10.5 15, 10, 16, 30
10.6 45, 45
10.7 45, 15, 20, 15
10.8 45, 23, 10
10.9 16, 21, 10, 15
10.10 10, 10, 30
10.11 10, 10, 50
10.12 35, 30, 18, 15
10.13 10, 45
10.14 40, 15, 13, 50
10.15 15, 40
10.16 12, 12, 30
10.17 38, 50
10.18 32, 17
10.19 20
10.20 30, 53, 15, 25
10.21 30, 31
10.22 24, 24, 40
10.23 12, 15, 10
10.24 12, 30, 30
10.25 18, 50
10.26 33, 29, 15
10.27 18, 27 15, 32, 11 
10.28 40, 20, 19, 16
10.29 12, 60, 10
10.30 30, 35, 20, 10, 16
10.31 25, 26, 25
11.1 12, 28, 15
11.2 13, 10, 10, 28, 10, 20
11.3 20, 10
11.4 16, 27, 20, 20
11.5 27, 27, 17, 22
11.6 28, 31, 36, 30, 29
11.7 20, 45, 10, 10
11.8 18, 51, 65
11.9 10, 10, 10, 46
11.10 23, 23, 30, 8
11.11 43, 10
11.12 27, 20, 10

The mind likes to make stories, play the blame game.  For Example, "I"am depressed because of (insert life scenario), or "I" am restless because (insert life scenario), "I" am tired because, (insert life scenario), "I" do not feel well because , (insert life scenario)

But, there is no core "I", there are causes and conditions.  Alot of times there is a simpler and more factual reason for our mind and body states.  To find out, we really must investigate, examine , and experiement to find out what in life is actually out of balance, not harmonious, or not following the middle path.

Perhaps, in some cases it is actually a simpler solution, (Occam's Razor) not a spiritual,chakra, or woo woo type of explanation, but, not always.

Depression, possible Vitamin D deficiency.

https://www.vitamindcouncil.org/health-conditions/depression/

Restlessness, Go Excercise

Tired?  Get some sleep!

Do not feel well?  Eat pound after pound of fruits, veggies, beans. Drop the junk food , soda, cheese, meat ,and oils!  Drink more water.  Buddhadasa described this as knowing the difference between what food was food , and what food was "bait".

Of course there are an inumerable list of factors involved with hindrances and each situation is different, but sometimes it really is just something simple.  Maybe not an easy solution to enact, but the solution itself, is sometimes, simple.

In my opinion this is a part of Right Action, Right Livelihood, in other words,  Harmonious Living.

The mind has the power to shine a light on all areas of our living.

So, I will investigate my living, step back and examine, thought , speech, and action.  Where can I improve?  What have I done incorrectly out of ignorance?  Why did that handful of M&M's taste so good?    Egads!  I am no different than a mouse ...  Humbled again... Baited by the sight sensation.

Psi

Four Foundations of Mindfulness

Continuous Investigation and Awareness coupled with the Intention of abandoning the Unwholesome and Unskillful, and Cultivating and Maintaining the Wholesome and Skillful

So, to make the Intention, the Right Intention, Samma Sankappa.  To firmly set Samma Sankappa, the Intention is to continue to be vigilant and to maintain awareness.  Awareness of What?  Of the Four Foundations.  The Body, the Sensations, the Mind States , and the Dharma.  In other words, What exactly is happening in the present moment, every moment, right here, right now? Needless to say, not just during Formal sittings. I think all this helps one to stay grounded, and constantly turns the mind back towards the task at hand, keeps the mind on the Dhamma, not straying around wasting time and energy on needless impermanent and impersonal things.  i.e. the M and Ms earlier were good, but they were gone hours ago, and all that is left is digested waste.  So why would a mind become attached to such things?  Rhetorically questioning...

Culadasa had a good point, I am reading and studying his new book by the way, the point was , when the mind strays from the subject at hand , Reward the mind for catching itself straying.  It does not help for the mind to chastise and berate itself for straying and wandering, that just adds dukkha.  Further, the point of rewarding the Mind at the moment of catching itslef straying, and I agree, is that the Mind is better off feeling good for actually catching itself wandering and straying.  This sets up a positive reinforcement loop.  The other way, the mind being negative when it catches itslef wandering or straying, sets up a negative reinforcement loop, and the mind just might as well rather stay away from being Mindful of the Dhamma if it is only going to meet up with self scorn and self criticism when it catches itself with mindfulness.  It will lean towards distraction and daydreaming and away from negative self talk.

Bhante Vimalaramsi has a similar , if not same approach with the TWIM method.

Ayya Khema also stated the same, said there is already dukkha , and to add more is just double dukkha.

And my personal experience shows this path works, and in this manner.  The mind is all to happy to do what is best, especially if a Path that is laid out is supported by Wisdom, Rational Logic, and is well grounded in Reality,  as is the Dhamma.

So, the Intention is to continue with The Noble Eightfold Path and keep fine tuning.

It has finally come together a fuller understanding of the saying of abandoning the raft.  The raft being the Eightfold Path, and the final abandoning of even the Eightfold Path at the end.

Once the mind has been purified there is no more work to be done, the mind is clean.  So that at this point on the path the mental formation created by the formation of the Eighfold Path itself is even a disturbance to a still mind.  So, yes, I can see that even , in the end , the Path itself would have to be abandoned, and to that end, the Mind would be Stilled and Balanced.

But, for me, this mind, right now, that is definitely not the case.  Still enjoying the Walk.  Or the Rafting, so to speak.

Psi

11.13  37, 60, 15, 15
11.14  16, 18, 23, 50, 25
11.15  15, 25, 10, 15
11.16 30, 37
11.17 12, 10, 18
11.18  10, 10, 60
11.19  30, 10
11.20  40, 27, 15
11.21  12, 60, 20
11.22 30, 38, 10
11.23  20
11.24  39, 10, 10
11.25 30, 10
11.26  30, 20
11.27  20, 20
11.28  37, 54, 8
11.29  30, 30, 18, 10
11.30  17, 60, 20
12.1  20, 30, 10
12.2 10, 24, 31, 27
12.3 36, 20
12.4  10, 30, 30
12.5  10, 32
12.6  11, 10, 2hr. 45 min., 30
12.7  15, 22, 32

There were a few days in the last grouping of formal maditations where I did not meditate much at all, need to be wary of that, getting lazy.  Some sessions are also very slothful, workload has increased, and am training at a higher weekly running mileage than I am used to.  Perhaps need to reevaluate life priorities, it seems there is indeed only so much energy to go around.

Back to the 12.6 long session, sat as long as I could stay upright, then went to a lion's pose, stayed mindful, had some vivid type visions and a fairly prolonged vibratory state which is usually a prelude to a state of infinite expansion, this did not happen.  Did notice a lingering craving for the state experienced to be repeated, this craving was noted, the phenomeon recognized as anicca, and dropped.  But, still, curiosity arises, and investigation of the state again would be nice.  

Also of note, in a lucid dream I encountered extreme terror/fear, I basically just let it flow, braced up, and went on into the room, (this was a dream) and afterwords, all fear was eliminated,  just equanimity remained, this was still there after full bodily awakening.

I have also experienced full blown anger in dreams, and I remember it well, this has only happened seldomly, like a couple times a year.  But, it is a nice reminder of one the reasons to keep practicing, full blown anger can cause alot of problems if left unchecked.

And just this exerpt, In practice I am looking to really hone in on all the little thoughts both in formal meditation and in daily activities and work with in all in more detail.  I feel this is what needs to be done at this time.  Nitty Gritty, so to speak. In other words Notice it all, Deal with it all, let nothing slip past.

Right Intention


http://www.vipassana.com/resources/8fp3.php

Psi

Still here  

Just plugging this book, interesting, a new spin on Metta, or shall we say an old spin???  hehe


http://www.seeingthroughthenet.net/files/eng/books/other/Deliverance_of_Heart.pdf


Excerpt below, bold facing mine, to emphasize the practice point being made here

And Nanananda goes on, explaing how Metta is a Universal practice, and there is a blunder in starting the practice of Metta with oneself.  Practicing by starting with oneself and working outwards builds up barriers from the get go, whereas Metta is Universal.
From what I am getting, and backed up by what I expereince, Metta is more of an outward flowing Universal indiscriminate form of energy feeling, there is really no subject or object involved.  Thus , the six directions.
So, I have yet to read this in its entirety, but so far so good.  I think this just came out in 2015...

Metta

Psi

12.8.2015 17, 27, 19
12.9 60, 16
12.10  60, 22
12.11  16, 40
12.12 44, 46
12.13  16, 33
12.14  24, 30, 10
12.15  16, 30
12.16  10, 36
12.17 13, 10, 30
12.18  20, 13, 60, 20
12.19  30, 13
12.20  40
12.21  10, 20
12.22 19, 26
12.23 16, 30, 16
12.24 15, 16, 34
12.25  23, 24
12.26  20, 30
12.27  10, 20, 60
12.28  54, 60
12.29 6, 10, 54
12.30  10, 31, 31
12.31 10, 60

2016

1.1 22, 15, 20
1.2. 12, 20
1.3  20
1.4 31, 30, 17, 31
1.5 22, 43, 12, 10
1.6 30, 45, 50
1.7 10, 10, 11, 12, 60
1.8 26, 10, 45

Practicewise, I almost do not know what to say...  I know more formal meditation time would be beneficial, yet the layperson lifestyle does not always accomodate for formal meditation opportunities.  Or is that just an excuse thought formed in the mind?

I have a one week vacation starting tomorrow night, yay!  Have some tasks to do around the house, want to plan some family time, some study time, and meditate.  I have found that if I can get in two hours by noon, things really start cookin', and around 3-4 hours of accumulated meditation the deeper levels of mind tend to be more accessible.  I should really push it this time, become a grown up meditator and all... haha

Currently I am reading The Zen Teaching of Huang Po, and what he states, I could not agree more, His teaching really resonates with current mind experience.  Yet, this mind still oscillates at times. 

http://terebess.hu/zen/huangboBlofeld.html
So, the above description of the state of mind described is also how I would describe the mind.

I think my current weaknesses are patience with others, compassion, understanding, and metta.  I think I am too selfish with my time. 

I am probably going to spend the majority of the vacation time devoted to practice and study, everyone else in the house will be in school or working.  I need to gear up and get serious, time is of the essence.  

Probably best to focus on getting all 37 factors of enlightnement going at the same time, get all of the mind modules going in the same direction. There is some other studying I am interested in also, books about the gut and the human microbiome, what to eat and such things.  What gets the system in harmony.  There is mind, and there is body, yet they coexist, fact of life, right?

Also of note, studying Thich Nhat Hanh's book, Interbeing.  This below could not be held more dear as an ideal, though I probably do not come across as such...  

http://viewonbuddhism.org/resources/14_precepts.html

Well, well, well ...

Psi

1.9  27, 35
1.10  40, 60, 10, 10
1.11 43, 30, 13, 20, 70, 28, 43, 65, 15
1.12 63, 11, 65, 20, 20, 20, 30, 20, 15
1.13  90, 67, 13, 30, 54, 20, 11
1.14 31, 34, 80, 14, 20, 8, 48, 12
1.15 30, 14, 25, 22, 17, 16, 75
1.16 90, 21, 24, 20, 52, 30

Towards the end of the ole vacation... Tried more of an Advance instead of a Retreat.  In other words, lots of Formal Meditation, Lots of Bare Attention, but pushed out into the daily living aspect, more time with family, still went to the gym, did some things around the house, you know normal stuff.

Developing patience, understanding, compassion, and metta.  I was perhaps , before, making it too broad of a task, spreading the intentions too far into the future, and setting the expectations as supreme, a difficult approach to an infinite flavor....

But, perhaps, it is much, much simpler than that.  Better to just deal with the moment at hand, as it occurs.  When patience is needed, use patience, when an opportunity for compassion presents itself, that is the best chance to practice compassion. Metta , understanding, same thing.

Practicing moment to moment as it occurs, in real time.  And , note to self, when I fail at patience, metta, compassion, be gladdened that I was at least aware of it, and gladdened to have the opportunity to change any unwholesome behavior to the best of the current skill set and ability to change.  And, note to self, to also recognize the successes, then mind inclines towards positve feedback.  

There is also another level of understanding that I am becoming attuned to.  It is like this.  Sometimes what I am now calling impatience with another being is actually just a flash of irritation, being non compassionate is also a momentary flash, easliy transformed , and usually within a moment or within a few moments.  So, it seems there is  a difference between between having an unwholesome state arise for a moment or  a few moments, and having an unwholesome state lingers for hours, days, or even years.  It seems that along the path, one becomes ever more sensitive to the internal nature and impersonal reactionary systems that are in place.  So, that due to this ever increasing sensitivity and fine tuning, even a little irritation, that may have not even been noticed in earlier years, becomes of the utmost importance in training in the present time.  

In other words, the more we see, the more we see...

Well, this week I finished this guide book, highly recommended
Seeing Through,  A Guide to Insight Meditation by Bhikku K. Nanananda
http://www.seeingthroughthenet.net/files/eng/books/other/seeing_through.pdf


One last thing I have been deepening the Investigating of, well two.  

First, the senses, the sense object , and the sense consciousness.  From what I see, These lean upon each other as three sticks leaning on each other at the same time.  Not one being separate form the other, that is the illusion, that they are separate.  They come together, at the same time, to for the individual and unique consiousness, a moment to moment consciousness, fleeting, ephemeral.  From what I see, it is all an impersonal process, nothing to get attached to.  Non attachment, because of its very nature, impermanent and coreless.  

Second, Becoming attached to pheomenon is pointless, like holding dear to an ice cube on a warm summer day, futile, pointless, unwise.  

So, I practice like this, the quickiening of mental noticing is necessary, immediacy,  worded better in this excerpt.


http://www.seeingthroughthenet.net/files/eng/dl/dl_0001.pdf


But, on yet a deeper level, To drop it all, everything, to get to the Still Point, but a not conditioned meditative state.  From this, how can craving and suffering arise?  There is no manifestation ground, no place to plant seeds.

https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Huangbo_Xiyun


I seem to remember that Ayya Khema had said in one of ther talks, that everday, at least once, if not more often, one should just try to let it all go, even if just for a moment.

Psi

1.17  27, 34, 20, 60, 22
1.18 20, 40, 15, 10
1.19  10, 16, 48, 10
1.20 16, 30, 22
1.21 10, 11, 8 , 36, 30
1.22 69, 14
1.23  46, 15
1.24  20, 10, 60
1.25 20, 10, 43
1.26  13, 10, 25, 13
1.27  10, 31
1.28  10, 13, 25
1.29  32, 20
1.30  18, 20, 90, 15, 54, 30
1.31  60, 30, 10, 20, 30

Guess I'll type up Feb. later...

So, what's been goin' on?  Hmmm...

Main Practice Points and Thoughts.

Same Inner Silence mode available during daily activities, i.e. no inner mental chatter.  This is not to be confused with not being able to think, grok.  Though, upon inspection this default state is weaker during sleep and dream states, and also when tired, or if under stress, or if I just feel like goofing off.  Then it takes a a varying degrees of Tranquility and Insight to place the mind back into the stillness mode. Mostly the stillness mode can be just a breath away, sometimes , not so easy...  There was a period of time recently where the mind was more disturbed than usual, I would say this was due to practicing Insight Methods,and watching some WW2 documentaries, coupled with the contemplation of Wars.

 Anyway, Insight methods seem to do their job in stirring up locked up Mental Formations, exposing them to the Conscious Awareness level.  It is from there that the element of Equanimity is to be maintained, to the best of one's abilities.  It is my experience that the constant application of Equanimity, when dutifully applied , is what brings the unresolved and troublesome mental formations to rest.  There are times when it seems that some unresovled Mental Formations seem like they will go on forever, they will arise again and again.  And, if not dealt with squarely, they probably will arise again and again,  for life.  But, the maintaining of practice seems to be the best solution, or cure, if you will.  I suppose that each time a disturbing Mental Formation arises, and it meets up with the state of Equanimity, it is altered and changed, purified, even if just a little.  So, that in this way, the next ime the disturbing Mental Formation arises, it should have less power behind it, less energy, and can be more easily understood for what it is, and , hopefully more easily dismissed.  Until finally, it will cease to arise altogether.

I did not really have a plan of exactly what to write tonight, so sometimes it is interesting to see what comes up from the mind.

Oh yeah, one more thing.

Compassion and Understanding, For a while I have known intellectually what these terms mean, and have tried to practice it, with some success, yet sometimes I have noticed that I have a little mean streak, sometimes I like to play around with words and poke jabs, I don't really have intentions of being mean or harmful, but I think I probably come across that way sometimes.  In the physical life , worldly interactions go fine, not always, but mostly.  I guess the more subtle aspects of real intentions show through, and harmlessness is easy, being with people is fun.  But, on the Internet, there are just words, and alot of the true meaning is lost, i.e. no gestures, no smiles, nods, expressions, tones, instant reactions.  Can't tell if someone knows you are joking and playing around or if you are serious, etc...

But, besides all that, Compassion, just recently, has really hit a bone with me, at an even deeper level than ever.  I know what it is to be hurt, and I just do not want to hurt anyone, and if I do hurt someone, even unintentionally, it now pains me with a sorrow.  But, I suppose, sometimes there is just friction, Dukkha.

But, then again, maybe I will always be a knucklehead.  

Psi

So, what is Right Mindfulness?  Samma Sati?

I resonate with this description of Sati.  The description below pretty much descibes it how it is.  And I think it fits well into the understanding of Dependent Origination, Sati is used right between Vedana and Tanha, in other words right after or during Feeling/Sensations, but before Craving actually arises.  Well, Samma Sati anyway, I guess one can be mindful, in the awareness sense of the word Mindfulness, of other cause and effect relations after craving has arisen.  Anyway, the excerpt.  I am posting it all here and not just the link, in order to prevent link erosion in the future, or whatever it is called.

http://dharma.ncf.ca/introduction/instructions/sati.html

And what a blessing it is to have had Venerable Henepola Gunaratana write all that out so well.  



Psi

Formal Meditation times, in minutes, Daily Living Practice Not logged

Feb 1-29, 2016

90	26	35	15	25	19
74	11	24	30	10	30
30	50	15	16	33	18
53	20	15	70
60	60	30	50
45	75	10
17	45
26	38	15
6	20	25
26	24	10	12	24
27	10	37	11	31	21
28	20	30	11
33
15	35	52
10	10	30	20	24
58	10	10
14	10	10	20	32
18	20	10
15	11	24	52
51	15	30	23	15
60	35	20	10	35
15	45	38	10
16	23	30	32
10	17	23	20
26	31	10
31	20	10
10	20	23	37
20	10	27	10
16	10	60

March 1-31, 2016

10	10	45
10	16	20
10	66	15
10	10	20
20	30	34	10
77	36	30
45	45	10	25
23	20	13	16	28
30	30	10
30	19	10
30	10	18
10	10	35
10	45
10	32
20	35	45	8
22	60	10
42	48	24
30	20	30	10
10	66	20
11	26
10	50	10
20	38
24	20
10	48
10	10	40
33	47	20	30
18	60	12
11	20	50
18	30	10
23	10	10
20	10	15	12	45

April, daily minimum practice maintained

Funny, Two months of Meditation practice logged, ups and downs, had some tumultuous periods, I think because I started reading the World News , So much Delusion, So much unecessary Dukkha.  I guess it is just the way some things are.  I have to accept that humanity has delusion, agression, violence, even mass delusion, and at times the world may roil in insanity.

Just need to make sure not to add to it.

 And to apply andidotes when appropriate.

Have to work through this somehow, currently, I feel like just another drop in the Ocean.

Psi