Simon Ekstrand:
Hi,
I don't understand the argument that life is scary and bad things happen to people and you should therefore not have kids.
Obviously the one making the argument thinks their own life is worth living as they haven't killed themselves, why shouldn't their kids have the same opportunity? Ie. if life really is that bad, why are you still here discussing kids?
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, it isn't meant to be, and I am absolutely not encouraging anyone to kill themselves.
Simon
You see there is more reasons to not comit sucied then that you simply do not like living your self. I had a serious undertake¨on this one when I was in a deeper depression. I cam to the conclusion that I will not only kill my self, but also other people will get harmed by this. And then I thought, but I think most people around me will be able to handle this. BUT, my mother... She would most likely go completely mad. She would be so lost that either she might in some mysterious way become enlightened because she lost everything OR she would go into deep deep insanity, continuing blaming herself like never before. So I continued my life based on living for her at least, trying to find another way out of dukkha. Another thing is (which you rationaly can not support) is that you will just be reborned and suffer in the next life. Even though it is verry similar to that of my mother, since my suffering verry likely will attach to her body and others bodies, so I kind of getting reborned into other peoples bodies in regard to their reactions to my action.
Another thing which is a bit closer to your reasoning, but still not the same. Is that I too just laid down on the floor once, in this moment of suidcidal thoughts. I just laid there like I dont want to do anything, I just wanted to cease existing. So I was meditating, just laid there watching. Kind of involuntarily, as a bounce to the floor of the abyss. So yes I didnt want to die really, I just wanted my ego to cease ofcourse. Later I raised up on my legs, still heavy, but a bit lighter.
So do I want kids? Not at the moment because Im still thinking that life is suffering and that I dont want to give birth to more suffering if I can choose (If I suffer it is likely that my child will inherit some of my pain-body). If it happens, it happens. I was close to become a father once because my and my partners desire made us not thinking about any condom. It just happened and it felt good (Be equanimous even though you perhaps falled for an uncontrolled desire). She got pregnant and the embryo died. We both reacted strongly on this, especially her. And caused great suffering for us, but also it caused new oportunities. A few months later I went on my first retreat (with-this-suidcidal-thinking-and-laying-on-the-flor-thing happening in between embryodeath and retreat)
I just continue living because it is my responsibility and the only thing to do. Comitting suicide will just lead to more suffering. Even though I was verry depressed, there was some
love and compassion still there making me to continue living. Now I also thinking that there is so many other people to share life with in the world anyway and if I cant experience the same love as I would with a child, I can learn it, it is just about my fear right... Fear of love, such a peculiar thing haha.. But if it happens, it happens.