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Concerns
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8/4/17 1:10 PM
(Deleted) 

RE: Concerns
Answer
3/22/17 9:52 AM as a reply to ------------------.
Hi, Will, I agree with you that working with a proper teacher, plus consulting with a medical professional for your substance-related issues, would be your best course.

RE: Concerns
Answer
3/26/17 1:57 AM as a reply to ------------------.
Where in the UK do you live?

Regarding the experience of non-MDMA and thoughts: at least Mind and Body, could have been much more than that, possibly, but hard to tell with the substance overlay.

The mushroom experience may have gotten you into A&P territory, which is pretty common.

Aversion to weird thoughts: common. Our noisy, repetition, moderately crazy thought stream is one of the most important insight, and to see those experiences as just transient, natural experiences in this space brings wisdom.

Posting on a forum like this one with experiences like you had and insights like you had, almost always someone in the Dark Night stages, which, while unpleasant, are educational, and, perceived clearly, can be a foundation of real wisdom.

RE: Concerns
Answer
3/28/17 7:11 AM as a reply to ------------------.
This sounds strikingly similar to my experience and the kind of stage I was at 3-4 years ago or so. I'm from the UK and had my 'MDMA summer' a number of years ago where I abused it far too much and had some very confusing (and sometimes very nice!) experiences as a result.

My best advice will sound extremely mundane, typical and boring but I believe it's the only advice that really applies to coming from that state to my present one which is much better (though at the time, I probably wouldn't have really taken it to heart): stop taking drugs, keep practicing consistently (daily), get good advice and don't worry about or get caught up on any grand ideas, especially metaphysical or religious/spiritual ones. Just keep on practicing and know that what's basically happened is you've caught a glimpse of something you couldn't quite define and now your mind is all stirred up - I would work on samatha techniques to begin to calm the mind back down. This is a critical point in your path in a way, as I've seen many friends go the opposite directon and wind up with severe drug problems and mental illness. Know that essentially, this existential crisis will work itself out one way or another, so your best course of action is to try to steer it towards wholesome, pragmatic means as best as you can.

Edit: During that time period I also took a LOT of LSD/mushrooms/DMT and though I credit it with essentially kickstarting my practice, the actual content of the experiences were pretty mundane looking back. They seemed amazing and profound at the time, but viewed with equanimity - it's all just mind/visual/auditory stuff happening, no matter how crazy or profound it seems it never really sticks, though it may inform your personality somewhat and that can be useful. I did find there was a lot of personal insight/emotional work that could be worked though with mushrooms, but trying to find authentic insight with pyschdelics usually just ends in a very confused and anxious state because you often get blasted with a lot of heavy stuff and it's almost impossible to remain calm and process it.

RE: Concerns
Answer
3/28/17 2:13 PM as a reply to ------------------.
Will - Tucker Peck is my teacher.  He has studied with Sharon Salzberg and Culadasa and is authorised to teach by Culadasa.   He's also a clinical psychologist.    As well as individual teaching, he holds weekly group eSangha meetings with several of us, which are excellent.   Just google Tucker Peck.