wanna pass the dark night again, 7 years on - Discussion
Well, hello again, after about 7 years 
my first post was this:
https://www.dharmaoverground.org/discussion/-/message_boards/message/934466
tl;dr -
some very deep insight, after which was very cut off from the practice. I felt really bad.
what happened since -
eventually i also developed digetive issues and allergies, who lead me up to today. felt very lonely the past few years for "not being able to make it", and not being able to retract my initial "wow" times with the dharma. all was very dry for a long time, no matter how hard i tried.
4 months ago, i did my first aya ceremony (interesting if there were any threads on it here.). And she gave me the push i needed to get out if some of my fears and loneliness. I am now working with a half-shaman coach, who has some attainmant.
Any way, my connection with her is very deep. And she even told me just today that i have great potential, and am making a great path.
But the more i feel connected, the more i feel confused... I feel like my experience several years ago, has almost been traumatic to some extent, maybe i am a little exaggerating, confused. Sometimes i imagine that my physical pains are something to "get through", and when ill get a path they might go away, and sometimes i think this is rough imagination. nothing i tried really helped my physical condition, so i am always tired, i can live, but it isn't easy.
past few days i am feeling i am getting closed for some opening. And my physical symptoms are somewhat stronger, and possibly more in the neck.
Any advice?
on another note, it is hard for me to post here, as i have a tendency to feel inadequte that i didn't make it yet.. please be gentle.
wasn't for a long time this place was down?
my first post was this:
https://www.dharmaoverground.org/discussion/-/message_boards/message/934466
tl;dr -
some very deep insight, after which was very cut off from the practice. I felt really bad.
what happened since -
eventually i also developed digetive issues and allergies, who lead me up to today. felt very lonely the past few years for "not being able to make it", and not being able to retract my initial "wow" times with the dharma. all was very dry for a long time, no matter how hard i tried.
4 months ago, i did my first aya ceremony (interesting if there were any threads on it here.). And she gave me the push i needed to get out if some of my fears and loneliness. I am now working with a half-shaman coach, who has some attainmant.
Any way, my connection with her is very deep. And she even told me just today that i have great potential, and am making a great path.
But the more i feel connected, the more i feel confused... I feel like my experience several years ago, has almost been traumatic to some extent, maybe i am a little exaggerating, confused. Sometimes i imagine that my physical pains are something to "get through", and when ill get a path they might go away, and sometimes i think this is rough imagination. nothing i tried really helped my physical condition, so i am always tired, i can live, but it isn't easy.
past few days i am feeling i am getting closed for some opening. And my physical symptoms are somewhat stronger, and possibly more in the neck.
Any advice?
on another note, it is hard for me to post here, as i have a tendency to feel inadequte that i didn't make it yet.. please be gentle.
wasn't for a long time this place was down?
You probably get the typical MTCB answer around here: Do the practice. See it for yourself.
Which is also mine
Thinking about practice can be helpful but also a hindrance. The thirst for freedom and tiredness of suffering can be your motivation.
Also see MCTB chapter about Dark Night regarding confusion, anxiety and such.
Which is also mine
Thinking about practice can be helpful but also a hindrance. The thirst for freedom and tiredness of suffering can be your motivation.
Also see MCTB chapter about Dark Night regarding confusion, anxiety and such.
