| Tim, please, pretty please with sugar on top: please get some friends!
About 15 or so years ago, I was lonely, isolated, unbalanced and depressed (and it was around Uni, too, during and after). What got me out of it was socializing. Some person reached out to me, and thus I entered a circle of new people, made some good friends, met other people, got involved in various activities (social gatherings, mountain trips, birthday parties, going out), and little by little I changed. We need social interaction for psycho-emotional self-regulation. There's a reason that people who live alone for a long time get changed by that experience, on a scale from "a bit quirky" to "completely nuts". It's out of the back-and-forth social interaction that the mind builds sanity. https://youtu.be/r2y3ZkI6zQA?t=8s
Other than that, make sure you get plenty of sleep (it's during sleep that the brain closes its open browsing tabs, and defrags and organizes the data on its hard drive), sunshine on your skin, and nature. You could add anything else that's positive: upbeat music, a motivating book, a hot shower, comedy, plants in your room, a pet, whatever else works for you. A romantic partner works wonders, and lacking that can be a big factor for depression at your age (heck! at any age); but just be out there, and that's coming too.
Not everything in life (especially at your age right now) is (or should be) about meditation. Don't go overboard. You need a bit of everything, just like a good nutrition (all those fad diets that unbalance some component are bullshit). Go out into the world, have experiences and interactions, grow as a person, before you turn to meditation as a panacea. You better build a life and a mind, before striving to deconstruct them with meditation.
I'm not a guru. Just some random average guy on the internet, with an OK life, that got through some past shit, and cares to give some advice to the best of his ability. If anything I said resonates with you, maybe use it.
And maybe don't just buy into everything you read online. Open some other book, browse some other forum, and you're going to find different ideas. I'm not criticizing Daniel here, if anything, it's his book that got me into giving mediation a harder try. I say keep a skeptical mind along an open mind, see what works for you and what doesn't. The territory is murky at best, and all the gurus are so dead sure of themselves. In Soto Zen for instance, they put the utmost emphasis on the zazen posture; I think that's bullshit, it's more important what you do with your mind than with your body, but tell that to the people who buy into that tradition! They think the posture itself is essential for enlightenment. In some book I even encountered the idea that the zazen posture itself IS enlightenment!?
On the other hand, there's such a thing as loving-kindness meditation. Maybe give that a try too, see if it lifts your spirits: https://www.reddit.com/r/streamentry/wiki/twim-crash-course
May you be truly happy and free from suffering! |