Kaya- Anatta

Nik, modified 4 Years ago at 12/15/17 2:51 AM
Created 4 Years ago at 12/15/17 2:05 AM

Kaya- Anatta

Posts: 53 Join Date: 8/12/14 Recent Posts
Hey Y'all,

Just curious... anyone here have this experience where it feels like you lose the sense of control of your body movements?--- not that any of the movements are abnormal, but the feeling of self evaporates from them. Ill give an example here:

Lets pretend I'm having a conversation with someone and gesturing with my arms.
-if the effect is weak, and awareness isn't very good, I might have a faint notion of what I'm doing with my hands, and if someone asked me after the conversation "what were you doing with your hands", I wouldn't be able to give a good description.
-If awareness is present --- Im intending to know what Im doing with my hands and Im using intentional focus to feel what I'm doing, I can start gesturing in a my normal way, but also stop/change the hand gesturing.
-If awareness is present and the 'anatta' effect is present, then I can feel the exact moment when my arms start to move in order to gesture (without using any intention to know beforehand-- its kind of suprising if im not expecting it). It also feels like the awareness is more 'embedded' in the arms and I can know more detail about minor movements I had never noticed before. The feeling is that the arms just move themselves and there is some sort of 'mind program' that is running the body (there's no me using 'my energy/effort' to move them--- it feels like they move around more fluidly), but intention can still switch the hand gesturing program--- it feels like the 'locus of control' is different--- not 'in the body/arms'--- but more in thr mind. It also feels like now there is more of a dichotomy between the body and the 'observer', with the sense of self moving more into the 'observer'.

The strength of the effect can vary with mind states (interest while watching the body increases it more quickly), continuity of awareness built up, samadhi, and so on. The effect only happens in 'parts of the body' and spreads to other areas when stronger. Initially I was trying to make the awarness strong enough to encompass the entire body, but shied away from it (I was afraid it might be some mental abnormality and ended up having to deal with some semi panic attacks/paranoia). If I extrapolate, at peak strength one would be able to feel every movement of the body (feeling like awareness is 'in' the body from head to toe and there is no self in the body) simultaneously, without focusing (every eye blink, every rising/falling, and so on).