Tom Carr:
I have a sense that it is NOW and will always be NOW. The next moment will never come. The whole idea of a next moment is an illusion. This moment is all there is. Sometimes this can be extremely relaxing and pleasant and luxurious. Other times it can be uncomfortable, because there is a craving and impatience to move into the next moment along with a sense that the next moment never comes.
All in all I am grateful to be experiencing this. The unpleasant moments of impatience and craving are unpleasant, but not terrible. The moments of luxurious freedom in the NOW can be pretty wonderful.
This is nothing unusual. You're having an affective response to what is happening now because you're experiencing an acute awareness of now moments. And, you're just playing with your mind. Or your mind is playing with you.
But also, it's indicative of moments of mindfulness. It's an experience of mindfulness, to be aware of the present moment. The next moment DOES come, it just comes somewhere down the line (in time sequence, that is). What you have to ask yourself is: Am I ready for that next moment (if you know or have a good idea about what it will entail). If you just wait for it, it will show up.
Just keep focusing on getting done whatever needs doing in the present moment, and you will always make it to the next moment down the line.
I get this in running all the time. Somewhere in the middle of a run I might get an idea about what I want to be doing after the run, or I just want to stop and rest. Rather than give in to those thoughts, I keep focusing on what needs to be done in the moment, which is taking one step after the other no matter how uncomfortable it may feel. Because I know that soon enough the run will be over, and I can do what I've been thinking of doing. Just stay focused on what needs to get done in the moment, and the future will take care of itself.
Oh, and congratulate yourself for remaining mindful.
