Follow Up to 2014 Visit

Paul, modified 5 Years ago at 10/5/18 9:10 AM
Created 5 Years ago at 10/5/18 9:10 AM

Follow Up to 2014 Visit

Posts: 3 Join Date: 7/16/14 Recent Posts
I'm a fifty-something daily meditator. I've been interested in Buddhism and have dabbled with meditation since high school. Had some intense experiences over the years.

Fast forward. About five years ago, I started a daily mediation practice. At most this has been a half hour a day seated, often less. I have never done a retreat. But I've meditated sitting daily. Also do tai chi, with associated standing meditation, etc. If you look at my only other posts on these boards you'll see where I was at in 2014.

So, anyway. About a week ago I was walking the dog and started noting meditation while I was walking and something just clicked. I now feel like tmeditation is much more integrated into the rest of my life. I feel like I don't have to reach for it, it's just sort of happening. Not effortless, exactly, it's not really about effort, it's about my perception of everything having been permeated by, well, knowledge of the three characteristics. 

So, for example, this morning I noticed that I was noticing the thing that had previously been noticing things, watching the watcher. No idea whether this is the first time I've had that specific perception, but what's different from any other time I've had a noticing like that is it feels more integrated with everything else I'm doing, part of this stuff that's just happening. And no big deal. Just something to notice.

This feels like something past dark night, and it's the first time I feel tempted to say that. And it happened mostly by accident, afer a long period of short, desultory sits. It's like something has just changed about my perception of the world.

Now, I suppose it's possible that this is my A&P event, finally, that was diagnosed as coming in 2014. But reading the maps, I feel like I've been playing back and forth between something that sure sounds like y'all's description of A&P and dark night territory since I was in my early twenties, and this is finally something different.
shargrol, modified 5 Years ago at 10/5/18 4:46 PM
Created 5 Years ago at 10/5/18 4:46 PM

RE: Follow Up to 2014 Visit

Posts: 2476 Join Date: 2/8/16 Recent Posts
I don’t know what it is but am happy for you!