I had 3 consecutive insights, but I don't know if the second and third were genuine or created by my expectations, possibly created by the first one. So, I want to check if any of you had the same insights and if my logic follows.
The first and genuine insight was after lunch, I was preparing to do the dishes. I went to the stove to tamp the pots. But I didn't realize that I grabbed the wrong lid. They are all identical because they belong to the same set. The only difference is the size, so I took the smaller one to tamp the medium sized pot. When I lowered my hand and it passed down into the pot not stopping where my mind predicted it would, I felt something, like a bug, my mind tilted and it seemed that I had an insight about how spatial cognition processing works, and that sensation was exactly how spacelessness feels. Usually we have a sense of coherence and solidity because our mind can predict not only the movement, but exactly where it stops, when you break the expectations, like when you crash your computer and have to reset it. When the expectation of the mind breaks, it has to "reset" this sense and recalculate a new route and self-referential point, and there is a gap between the crash and the actual recalculation/reset, this is that strange feeling of "tilt" or spacelessness.
I kept thinking about it (not stopping from taking bare notes) while I washed the dishes. I was holding a soaped knife and fork in my right hand when I moved them under the water, and here was my second insight. When I did this movement, the movement and the stopping of the hand were not exactly two separate things. The exact point where my hand had stopped was already included in the planning-phase/intention before the movement. And this is why there is "sense of space", because the mind anticipates and calculates the point of where your movement will stop and the distance of this point from the surrounding solid objects. If it doesn't stop at the predicted point in the predicted way, there is no reference point for the brain to calculate the surroundings, because the reference point that the brain uses is not exactly where the actual physical body part is, but where the brain predicted it to be. The space location system is completely dissociated from the tact, as I always have thought my whole life.
I was euphoric because of this two insights and them my awareness on my moves was very sharp. Then I decided to "wave goodbye" to test the sensations. And I had a third insight. Now I realized that the mind has some kind of "script" that automates sequential movements that you already know (like a choreography). Intending to "wave goodbye" continuously is different from issuing an order to "move left", then "stop", then "move right", then "stop", then "move left". And actually it would make more sense to note the motion as one thing. This made me realize that when you are doing walking meditation in the form of noting the step in 3 different moves (lift-push-place) gives a different sensation than just note that you are walking. Because when you are doing the 3 notes per step, I also have an awkward feeling that I never really understood. Now I think that this is the brain being "annoyed" from being prevented to trigger the "script" of walking.
I'm not sure about the two and third insights because I was already expecting to discover something and maybe my intention has interfered with the experience, so, do you guys have insights like this?
Also, I think that my first insight might be the key to unlocking the boundless-space attainment. I wonder if I meditated completely still and focused on the memory of that gap between the crash and the reset of spatial sense, I could amplify it and dwell in it, creating the sensation of being in infinite space. What do you think of this?
