Does anyone here do the actualism method precisely as Richard taught?

I don't think I have a firm grasp on it because I don't really see things as silly. Feelings can dissipate when I tell myself that something doesn't exist anymore, or doesn't exist now. But if I think about the trigger again, I pretty much get the feeling back again and there's no 'silly' appraisal to prevent it. I never have a definite, 'oh, that's silly' realisation. If I did I would have a lot more confidence because I wouldn't be able to get the feeling back (just like I can't get the belief in Santa back again). The method I use is weak/flimsy... How does one truly grasp the fact that this is the only moment of being alive without having had a PCE? Is this the key to seeing emotional responses as silly?

It helped me to realize that there is not a single moment in my life that I did not have everything to be happy and that I did not need to make an effort to make it so.

I did not need to add or take away for this moment to be perfect. Search this out for yourself, you will see that when you are not happy it is because you are focused on what you don't have which is silly.

Focus on what you have right now, be persistent and it will gain momentum

Hi Jason,

A few things to consider:

1. Are you suppressing your feelings when you try to realize they are silly?

When you cease feeling good, and try to think of that as silly, are you trying to simply make the (bad?) feeling disappear or vanish? Or do you enact the following:

"If ‘I’ am not feeling good then ‘I’ have something to look at to find out why. What has happened, between the last time ‘I’ felt good and now? When did ‘I’ feel good last? Five minutes ago? Five hours ago? What happened to end those felicitous feelings? Ahh ... yes: ‘He said that and I ...’. Or: ‘She didn’t do this and I ...’. Or: ‘What I wanted was ...’. Or: ‘I didn’t do ...’. And so on and so on ... one does not have to trace back into one’s childhood ... usually no more than yesterday afternoon at the most (‘feeling good’ is an unambiguous term – it is a general sense of well-being – and if anyone wants to argue about what feeling good means ... then do not even bother trying to do this at all)." [1]

Understanding that something is silly is not a tool to dismiss, unexamined, whatever one is experiencing at any given moment. You must "pinpoint" (to use Richard's words) what it was that ended the period when you were feeling good and only then can you begin to realize the silliness of it:

"Once the specific moment of ceasing to feel good is pin-pointed, and the silliness of having such an incident as that (no matter what it is) take away one’s enjoyment and appreciation of this only moment of being alive is seen for what it is – usually some habitual reactive response – one is once more feeling good ... but with a pin-pointed cue to watch out for next time so as to not have that trigger off yet another bout of the same-old same-old. This is called nipping it in the bud before it gets out of hand ... with application and diligence and patience and perseverance one soon gets the knack of this and more and more time is spent enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive. And, of course, once one does get the knack of this, one up-levels ‘feeling good’, as a bottom line each moment again, to ‘feeling happy and harmless’ ... and after that to ‘feeling perfect’." [1]

Please note that the specific trigger to not feeling good must be "seen for what it is, usually some habitual reactive response," in order to go back to feeling good.

2. If applying the idea of silliness to not feeling good doesn't help, perhaps you could come at it from the angle of sensibility.

Instead of telling yourself "this is silly," if it is not working for you at this time, maybe you could ask yourself, "Is it sensible to be feeling bad [2] about this [whatever 'this' is]?"

See what happens if you apply the silly/sensible evaluative method from the other side, which should be helpful in opening whatever you are experiencing (re., the feelings states you are writing about in your post) for questioning and exploration.

3. A recap and practical reminder:

As Richard points out in the article referenced here--you could understand the practice to unfold thus:

"Thus, by asking ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive,’ the reward is immediate; by finding out what triggered off the loss of the felicitous feeling, one commences another period of enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive. It is all about being here at this moment in time and this place in space ... and if you are not feeling happy and harmless you have no chance whatsoever of being here in this actual world (a glum and/or grumpy person locks themselves out of the perfect purity of this moment and place). And by having already established feeling good (a general sense of well-being) as the bottom line for moment-to-moment experiencing then if, or when, feeling happy and harmless fades there is that comfortable baseline from which to suss out where, when, how, why – and what for – the feeling of being happy and harmless ceased happening ... and all the while feeling good whilst going about it." [1]

So, ask yourself each moment again, "how am I experiencing this moment of being alive." When you cease feeling good, figure out what triggered your current state. If the method I suggested above works for you, you can ask yourself, "Is it sensible to be feeling this way about this?" And, when you realize the senselessness of the feeling and return to feeling good, you can begin to establish this feeling good as your "comfortable baseline" from which to do the practice.

One can realize that it is only ever "now" by diligently asking each moment again, haietmoba. Simply asking yourself this question repeatedly, throughout the day, will bring your attention to the only moment you have to be alive--which is always right now.


[1] http://actualfreedom.com.au/richard/articles/thismomentofbeingalive.htm

[2] You did not specify the emotional states you are talking about here; so my reply to you could be amiss if you mean to talk about "emotional responses" as something other than not feeling good/bad feelings. Please correct me if I have misread your post in this regard.

Is being alive at this moment and sensately experiencing it all one needs to be happy? When I applied this to thinking about my ex gf, I realised I was thinking about what I didn't have, and then I thought about what I did have (this moment and sensately experiencing it). I kind of did get a sense of silliness about thinking about her when I can feel good right now.

I haven't been trying to suppress anything. Recently it's more like the trigger ceases to have an effect because it becomes unreal since I'm holding in mind that the past/future doesn't exist in this moment. This causes me to kind of forget the trigger for the moment. But when I go back to normal thinking the trigger has the potential to affect me again. If a strong emotional trigger is in happening in the moment or close to it, then I can't do it at all.

I might see a feeling as a habitual reactive response, but not something I can do anything about. Most times I cannot see something as a habitual reactive response. It's more like, 'of course I feel this way about it'.



Is Richard just saying to apply the feeling state of 'it's silly/not sensible' onto a trigger? I've never been able to do something like that deliberately.



Maybe if I asked HAIETMOBA while keeping in mind what Jeff said, i.e. I have everything to be happy, then I will develop a stronger sense of a feeling good baseline and become better able to appraise situations?

Me, having an average thinking skillset, can't simply pinpoint a trigger and realise it is silly, then commence feeling good again. How is it, whatever it is, always silly/not sensible?

Jason asks:

"Is Richard just saying to apply the feeling state of 'it's silly/not sensible' onto a trigger? I've never been able to do something like that deliberately."

What you can do is think back to when you were feeling good before you started feeling bad (as was pointed out to me by Tarin). This is likely to be much more fruitful than beginning your "finding out" of what is going on before you have already started to feel bad.

Jason asks:

"Maybe if I asked HAIETMOBA while keeping in mind what Jeff said, i.e. I have everything to be happy, then I will develop a stronger sense of a feeling good baseline and become better able to appraise situations?

Me, having an average thinking skillset, can't simply pinpoint a trigger and realise it is silly, then commence feeling good again. How is it, whatever it is, always silly/not sensible?"

If one realizes that you have everything you need to be happy, then what sensible reason could there possibly be to be unhappy? I favor a more analytical method when it comes to understanding feelings than perhaps some others. In order to see that something is silly, at least in my experience, one must examine it from multiple angles in order to see the way, for example, (quite often) the social identity is at play in whatever the issue is.

Observing the affective phenomenon and understanding what beliefs, ideas, and values contribute to the bad feelings about it is one way, to my view, of unraveling the solidity of feelings and beginning to understand it so as to see the silliness of it. So what I am suggesting is to slow down the process; one need not go directly from pinpointing the trigger to understanding its silliness. Between identifying the trigger and its silliness, you may need to observe and examine the feeling so as to fully understand it in order for its silliness to be revealed to you.

Stefanie asks:
"What you can do is think back to when you were feeling good before you started feeling bad (as was pointed out to me by Tarin). This is likely to be much more fruitful than beginning your "finding out" of what is going on before you have already started to feel bad".

I will try this.


Stefanie asks:
"If one realizes that you have everything you need to be happy, then what sensible reason could there possibly be to be unhappy?"

It's more of an idea that I have everything I need to be happy, but maybe if I ground myself to this reality it will become a fact for me.


Stefanie asks:
"I favor a more analytical method when it comes to understanding feelings than perhaps some others. In order to see that something is silly, at least in my experience, one must examine it from multiple angles in order to see the way, for example, (quite often) the social identity is at play in whatever the issue is.

Observing the affective phenomenon and understanding what beliefs, ideas, and values contribute to the bad feelings about it is one way, to my view, of unraveling the solidity of feelings and beginning to understand it so as to see the silliness of it. So what I am suggesting is to slow down the process; one need not go directly from pinpointing the trigger to understanding its silliness. Between identifying the trigger and its silliness, you may need to observe and examine the feeling so as to fully understand it in order for its silliness to be revealed to you".

I'll leave this until last as I know I just go around in circles doing it.

Thanks for your advise Stephanie

Jason - Is being alive at this moment and sensately experiencing it all one needs to be happy?

We have all experienced the wonder of nature, the beauty of a sunset, the happiness found in the simple things. Learn to maximize these felicitous feelings as they are accessable at any moment.

Jason - When I applied this to thinking about my ex gf, I realised I was thinking about what I didn't have, and then I thought about what I did have (this moment and sensately experiencing it). I kind of did get a sense of silliness about thinking about her when I can feel good right now.

Reflect on it, as your thinking about your ex girlfriend your playing out a fantasy. Knowing this get back to being happy and harmless as soon as possible and as the bar is raised the self goes into abeyance until the experiences is Pure Consciousness as in PCE

Stefanie has given you some great advise on observing the affective phenomenon. We instinctively respond to our environment. Feel out your reactions. See how this forms your (self) experience.

HI Jason L,

First, as this is your thread, please let me know if your prefer my post here be removed.

Second: your questions and thoughts (and the resulting suggestions/thoughts) have been useful to me: thank you.

Third, in the event you haven't seen Florian's posts from earlier today, I find them useful:

Empty Hands

-katy

I just thought I'd add a little more to what seemed like some already good advice...

Have you ever seen a dog chasing it's own tail? Did it seem silly? Go to youtube and search for "dog chasing tail", and while you're at it, watch this one...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7YIAWsyB1I

Silly?

That's what we're doing as humans.... anger, desire, nurture, fear... we are chasing at phantoms. We're putting hillarious brittish voiceovers on the actuality which is so fascinating that it needs no voiceover... and can't be improved by any voiceover. Just think about it... here is a perfectly good moment... so vivid with opportunities for sensuousness and we go and distort the perfection by adding emotions and instinctual passions. It's absurd, and good for a laugh. But, it's nothing to condemn as evil, wrong, or bad... because that would just to be indulging more emotions. It's just silly.

That's how I see it anyway.

- Daniel