I tried doing this and it seemed promising. Perhaps others can benefit, too.

Next time you're conversing with someone, notice the manner in which you listen to them. If they start telling a story or recounting past events, I noticed that I would follow along affectively. I would create a very faint and fuzzy picture of roughly where the action was happening. If people I know are mentioned, faint and fuzzy images of those people would appear. I was kind of reconstructing the event from the words using my imagination, though very faintly and fuzzily. This would kind of get overlaid onto the world of the senses and dull them. (I think the same happens when one reads a book.)

I noticed that, though, and decided to stop doing that and just be attentive. The imaginary world vanished quite quickly and I was left just watching my friend talking. A completely different experience. it's just the sight of seeing him talk and the sound of his words. I found it was harder to keep track of what exactly he was saying as I was focusing on not imagining it, but I think with some practice i'll be able to follow along just as well, only without painting a picture of it in my head.

EDIT: lol, and i wrote that entire post while imagining the events of last night in my head. i think this could be a good exercise when typing out posts as well..

or actually while one is doing anything.. need some o dat attentiveness

My usual mode of attention is about taking in certain points and certain words that the other is saying, then adding my filters (ughh), adding memories (ughh), adding all manner of stuff and constructing a meaningful picture.

I agree that if you listen in a certain way, attending to every sound and word with full attention, it's almost impossible to gather any meaning at all. Listening to music that way has the same effect - it sounds like noise! So the meaning is important to us when we listen, I suppose.

Regarding meaning: Sometimes I will purposefully tune in to a single aspect like tone of voice, which gives massive amounts of information on its own. Or, I might be on the lookout for double entendres or Freudian slips, which people do all the time in certain settings - also very revealing. Other times I will do a sort of hypnotic gaze which, if I'm in the right frame of mind, will cause the person I'm gazing at to reveal whatever it is that is really bugging them, deep down. It spills out like a fountain!

People rarely say what they mean, especially when they're in slightly tense or vulnerable situations. This seems to be particularly so for women. You have to interpret every single thing they say, which is hard work. Milton Erickson would say that you should always listen very carefully and respectfully, but never take anything at face value!