40 min PM Noting Sit #2

I am going to remember this sit. I had more caffeine so when I started the sit, I was really turbo-charged and noting at 3x/sec. There I was gliding along for at least 10 minutes with few thoughts. The only hinderance self-produced by the caffeine was some restlessness which applied relaxation to. Then I found myself getting pretty relaxed and hit Equanamity. I was all balanced out, having equanmous thougjts. That lasted the whole rest of the sit.

Hey Sam.
I like this new format more than the previous one, mainly because of its fonts, its classic. Although I am not sure it makes it easier to read or not. I think if you like it you should do it, who cares about the readers! ;)

Yes I like that new format as introduced by Niels. I see some other members are also using the same format. It does make things easier to follow. I would also use it if Im more disciplined, but being me, very raw and immediate, I just spill out into my log all that comes to mind in the moment and wish good luck to those unfortunate who might read it  

Indeed again and again Dukkha shows it self in form of some sense of "me" not liking this and prefering something else instead. However Anicca also shows itself in form of passing away of that "not so best sit" and arising in form of a "my great feeling sit" and then back to "oh, gawd what a crap sit" etc ... That clinging is the source of suffering. Its ok. We are sitting to realise that. Just simple noting and accepting all weather its pleasant, neutral or unpleasant. We learn to know that these couds, dark or bright arise and pass just to arise and pass again and again. So its not about us trying to stop this unfolding. If not that then what are we doing? We are allowing the realisation to mature, that all these clouds of experience with their feeling tones do what they do as we are not in control of them anyway. The "me" having this experience is just an idea, a very glue like sticky knee-jerk idea that claims any given experience, solidifying it into a concept of "my experience".

We cant really think our selves into this realisation. What we can do is observe this unfolding and accept it all no matter how nice or bad it feels and keep our daily sits going as this momentum is what does the damage to this "selfing idea". There is an itch, there is unpleasant, there is aversion, there is hearing, knowing its a neighbours loundry machine, there is aversion, there is agony, there is Acceptance, there is vibration in fingers and feet, its pleasant etc  ...

You are doing great as long you are doing the practice. After the storm comes the Sun, then storm then Sun again ... Anicca   

"Father Buddha gave me the day off yesterday"

You did deserve it it's ok to let go sometimes. Once back you see it with fresh eyes so to speak. At times meditation can get rather mechanical which is not good. It needs to have that fresh organic feel to it, that noting attention "touching" gently each sensation and that accepting curiosity of the unfolding of experiential Thisness. 

Indeed, it's so good to have a teacher in such situations. I'm very grateful for the teacher I've had. 

Good news I like your teacher!

Now all you need is bring Acceptance to the fore and keep it in mind as Re-observation stuff comes in. "Its ugly" yes it is, I accept it, "its unpleasant" yes it is I accept it all, "its myserable" yes it is I accept it, "its disgusting" yes it is, I accept it all no matter how unpleasant it is ... "feels like my whole world is falling apart and is utterly unpleasant" yes it is and I accept it all, one by one as they arise and pass away, and even if bombarded by the same stuborn object/sensation/mind state/feeling again and again I take all those hits and I accept it all ... you will feel so much better after such a sit if accepntance was there throughout  

Yogi Sam, I salute you!  

Probably, talking to her:
It was a reminder for you that a) you are not alone b) there is hope.

Well done Sam! DN Nanas can be mild to full on horrible in feeling tone. Just remind yourself that acceptance of it all, in no matter what shape or form it seems to present itself, is the way through it. This is especially important in the re-observation as most of the DN Nanas can arise in the same wave. As with all waves, they do the same thing they pass away. Hold onto Acceptance and matter of fact noting/noticing for the duration of the sit I know, as many here do, that these mind states and feelings suck big time, but it feels so good if you let it all wash over you without resistance and yes, noting does chops up these unpleasant arisings so it's in a way easier staring straight into their eyes , so to speak  

You ARE doing great! 

Hey Sam,

Brute force advice, loss of interest for meditation could mean equanimity is settling in. It seems to happen qite a bit that people who lose the "dukkha" insentive to meditate kind of stop, and then cycle back down, and go through a kind of DN->EQ loop with difficulty moving past that until they're sick of it and decide to go through with it no matter what 

Well, it also happens that one loses interest sometimes . I also have trouble meditating these days.

Good luck with you motivation, you can make formal resolutions from time to time. The summer is here, but the winter will return, right ?

Cheers

Hi Sam,
This is your life journey, why should it be boring?
Please do whatever that is helpful for you. I see in myself that most of my health problems are because I am not relaxed enough. If your teacher wants you to be relaxed and you trust her, then that is what is impotant at this point.

I wish you a healthy body and a peaceful mind.

Only do logging if its pleasing/inspiering to you to do so. If its a chore and taking too much effort and focus from the practice/calming/relaxation then stop logging for now and use the log for questions and updates as they come. 

I do follow your log even when I dont log or write on the forum.

How was the feeling tone of this sit ? Is mind interested and engaged in smiling to the body parts? 
I guess you can give us a few details gimme som readn' boyo ;) 

Sounds perfectly natural to me Sam! When I get the lower belly going either through deep breathing, or just going for walks or even runs I will generally fart a lot! Farting is healthy in my opinion! Also gives new oportunities to be NOTED the sense of smelling is being involved note it, note it  

In case you feel like going back to noting (Im not saying you should , but only in case you start feeling the need), try and focus only on the body sensations and relaxing the body (while noting you can scan the body for tension and rellax it). You can stay away from the mind states and feeling tones if they are too disturbing. You simply lock onto coolness in the nostrils and belly rising and falling, expanding belly touching the shirt (this I find usually is very pleasant). Body really is always good to return back to when stuff gets too heavy emotinaly.

Im saying this as you might feel bad about this sudden transition from full on practice going on and suddenly you are off the hourse so to speak. Its almost like a "cultural shock" some people have when moving countries (Ive moved alot) or when people get fired from a job they liked. Transition can be felt as loss. 

I think breathing relaxation (calm abiding) is a very good practice and can lead the one practicing all the way. Im know personally it can lead all the way to EQ (4th Jhana) and if you dont freak out (like I did) when you totally loose the breathing (as if you are not breathing at all) then you might even continue further. Back then I didnt know about this happening in 4th Jhana (breathing stops, but its harmless, no reason to panic, as I did   )

So, once again, I think its a great practice, this breath relaxation and there is no need for you to feel as if you are downgrading your practice. Tibetans dont offer Shamatha (calm-abiding relaxation) without a good reason  

In case you feel too overwhelmed with this illness then maybe talking to a therapist can help. Talking about our stuff always helps.

I really wish you all the best Sam! 

So good to see you back Sam show must go on You did it! 

I agree, sitting around and just feeling how everything is terrible is certainly not helping at all We need to learn to disembed from such thinking patterns and meditation sure can do that as well as bring some tranquility into our life. 

How was that Smiling Buddha meditation for you? Any good? Can you think of doing it again or is it too artificial feeling? Im asking as it would be good to have one short sit that is based on one pointed calming meditation and then do the noting later maybe or before, as it suits you. 

You could aslo try and create an object for one pointed part of your noting meditation. I do open eyes focus on a kasina object (can be anything and matters little if its just a dirt spot on the wall or floor infront of you). If this is not good for your eyes then maybe holding something between your fingers, an object of your choosing. This would be your one pointed object that you return to very often during noting. Ingram I think used raise and fall of the abdomen as the primary one pointed object in his sittings and noting all other stuff but returning to it again and again. It doesnt work that well for me hence I use eye focus on an object and of course my own voice (in noting aloud) as well as the in ear frequency when it pops up (the nada sound). 

Having this one pointed object in your noting practice can introduce tranquility, calm and of course concentration (absorption joy, rapture, bliss and open spacious awareness).  Try and think what would be the best one pointed object for you. Chris Marti prefers the preassure of his buttocks against the cushion apparently  

Great to see you again!