40 min PM Noting Sit #2

I am going to remember this sit. I had more caffeine so when I started the sit, I was really turbo-charged and noting at 3x/sec. There I was gliding along for at least 10 minutes with few thoughts. The only hinderance self-produced by the caffeine was some restlessness which applied relaxation to. Then I found myself getting pretty relaxed and hit Equanamity. I was all balanced out, having equanmous thougjts. That lasted the whole rest of the sit.

Hey Sam.
I like this new format more than the previous one, mainly because of its fonts, its classic. Although I am not sure it makes it easier to read or not. I think if you like it you should do it, who cares about the readers! ;)

Yes I like that new format as introduced by Niels. I see some other members are also using the same format. It does make things easier to follow. I would also use it if Im more disciplined, but being me, very raw and immediate, I just spill out into my log all that comes to mind in the moment and wish good luck to those unfortunate who might read it  

Indeed again and again Dukkha shows it self in form of some sense of "me" not liking this and prefering something else instead. However Anicca also shows itself in form of passing away of that "not so best sit" and arising in form of a "my great feeling sit" and then back to "oh, gawd what a crap sit" etc ... That clinging is the source of suffering. Its ok. We are sitting to realise that. Just simple noting and accepting all weather its pleasant, neutral or unpleasant. We learn to know that these couds, dark or bright arise and pass just to arise and pass again and again. So its not about us trying to stop this unfolding. If not that then what are we doing? We are allowing the realisation to mature, that all these clouds of experience with their feeling tones do what they do as we are not in control of them anyway. The "me" having this experience is just an idea, a very glue like sticky knee-jerk idea that claims any given experience, solidifying it into a concept of "my experience".

We cant really think our selves into this realisation. What we can do is observe this unfolding and accept it all no matter how nice or bad it feels and keep our daily sits going as this momentum is what does the damage to this "selfing idea". There is an itch, there is unpleasant, there is aversion, there is hearing, knowing its a neighbours loundry machine, there is aversion, there is agony, there is Acceptance, there is vibration in fingers and feet, its pleasant etc  ...

You are doing great as long you are doing the practice. After the storm comes the Sun, then storm then Sun again ... Anicca   

"Father Buddha gave me the day off yesterday"

You did deserve it it's ok to let go sometimes. Once back you see it with fresh eyes so to speak. At times meditation can get rather mechanical which is not good. It needs to have that fresh organic feel to it, that noting attention "touching" gently each sensation and that accepting curiosity of the unfolding of experiential Thisness. 

Indeed, it's so good to have a teacher in such situations. I'm very grateful for the teacher I've had. 

Good news I like your teacher!

Now all you need is bring Acceptance to the fore and keep it in mind as Re-observation stuff comes in. "Its ugly" yes it is, I accept it, "its unpleasant" yes it is I accept it all, "its myserable" yes it is I accept it, "its disgusting" yes it is, I accept it all no matter how unpleasant it is ... "feels like my whole world is falling apart and is utterly unpleasant" yes it is and I accept it all, one by one as they arise and pass away, and even if bombarded by the same stuborn object/sensation/mind state/feeling again and again I take all those hits and I accept it all ... you will feel so much better after such a sit if accepntance was there throughout  

Yogi Sam, I salute you!  

Probably, talking to her:
It was a reminder for you that a) you are not alone b) there is hope.

Well done Sam! DN Nanas can be mild to full on horrible in feeling tone. Just remind yourself that acceptance of it all, in no matter what shape or form it seems to present itself, is the way through it. This is especially important in the re-observation as most of the DN Nanas can arise in the same wave. As with all waves, they do the same thing they pass away. Hold onto Acceptance and matter of fact noting/noticing for the duration of the sit I know, as many here do, that these mind states and feelings suck big time, but it feels so good if you let it all wash over you without resistance and yes, noting does chops up these unpleasant arisings so it's in a way easier staring straight into their eyes , so to speak  

You ARE doing great! 

Hey Sam,

Brute force advice, loss of interest for meditation could mean equanimity is settling in. It seems to happen qite a bit that people who lose the "dukkha" insentive to meditate kind of stop, and then cycle back down, and go through a kind of DN->EQ loop with difficulty moving past that until they're sick of it and decide to go through with it no matter what 

Well, it also happens that one loses interest sometimes . I also have trouble meditating these days.

Good luck with you motivation, you can make formal resolutions from time to time. The summer is here, but the winter will return, right ?

Cheers

Hi Sam,
This is your life journey, why should it be boring?
Please do whatever that is helpful for you. I see in myself that most of my health problems are because I am not relaxed enough. If your teacher wants you to be relaxed and you trust her, then that is what is impotant at this point.

I wish you a healthy body and a peaceful mind.

Only do logging if its pleasing/inspiering to you to do so. If its a chore and taking too much effort and focus from the practice/calming/relaxation then stop logging for now and use the log for questions and updates as they come. 

I do follow your log even when I dont log or write on the forum.

How was the feeling tone of this sit ? Is mind interested and engaged in smiling to the body parts? 
I guess you can give us a few details gimme som readn' boyo ;) 

Sounds perfectly natural to me Sam! When I get the lower belly going either through deep breathing, or just going for walks or even runs I will generally fart a lot! Farting is healthy in my opinion! Also gives new oportunities to be NOTED the sense of smelling is being involved note it, note it  

In case you feel like going back to noting (Im not saying you should , but only in case you start feeling the need), try and focus only on the body sensations and relaxing the body (while noting you can scan the body for tension and rellax it). You can stay away from the mind states and feeling tones if they are too disturbing. You simply lock onto coolness in the nostrils and belly rising and falling, expanding belly touching the shirt (this I find usually is very pleasant). Body really is always good to return back to when stuff gets too heavy emotinaly.

Im saying this as you might feel bad about this sudden transition from full on practice going on and suddenly you are off the hourse so to speak. Its almost like a "cultural shock" some people have when moving countries (Ive moved alot) or when people get fired from a job they liked. Transition can be felt as loss. 

I think breathing relaxation (calm abiding) is a very good practice and can lead the one practicing all the way. Im know personally it can lead all the way to EQ (4th Jhana) and if you dont freak out (like I did) when you totally loose the breathing (as if you are not breathing at all) then you might even continue further. Back then I didnt know about this happening in 4th Jhana (breathing stops, but its harmless, no reason to panic, as I did   )

So, once again, I think its a great practice, this breath relaxation and there is no need for you to feel as if you are downgrading your practice. Tibetans dont offer Shamatha (calm-abiding relaxation) without a good reason  

In case you feel too overwhelmed with this illness then maybe talking to a therapist can help. Talking about our stuff always helps.

I really wish you all the best Sam! 

So good to see you back Sam show must go on You did it! 

I agree, sitting around and just feeling how everything is terrible is certainly not helping at all We need to learn to disembed from such thinking patterns and meditation sure can do that as well as bring some tranquility into our life. 

How was that Smiling Buddha meditation for you? Any good? Can you think of doing it again or is it too artificial feeling? Im asking as it would be good to have one short sit that is based on one pointed calming meditation and then do the noting later maybe or before, as it suits you. 

You could aslo try and create an object for one pointed part of your noting meditation. I do open eyes focus on a kasina object (can be anything and matters little if its just a dirt spot on the wall or floor infront of you). If this is not good for your eyes then maybe holding something between your fingers, an object of your choosing. This would be your one pointed object that you return to very often during noting. Ingram I think used raise and fall of the abdomen as the primary one pointed object in his sittings and noting all other stuff but returning to it again and again. It doesnt work that well for me hence I use eye focus on an object and of course my own voice (in noting aloud) as well as the in ear frequency when it pops up (the nada sound). 

Having this one pointed object in your noting practice can introduce tranquility, calm and of course concentration (absorption joy, rapture, bliss and open spacious awareness).  Try and think what would be the best one pointed object for you. Chris Marti prefers the preassure of his buttocks against the cushion apparently  

Great to see you again! 

 

Hi Sam,
Glad to see you back.
May you be well, and practice well

I'm sad to hear of the difficulties you are going through, Sam. I'm also glad to see you are back practicing. I hope that the problems get better soon and that your practice continues well.

Sam I sent you a message.

How are you Sam?

Have you considered to have a talking therapy for a while as all what's happening now is very new and hard to take in. I'm sure it will be of benefit. 

Glad the medical issues were a bit better and you got a decent sit in.

Congrats on Biden and on sitting again! 

Glad for your new reports Sam.

Go for .net. You have tons of experience, why not use it. Just open it and start coding!

Good on you Sam! Glad to see you're making the most out of some shitty circumstances. Best wishes to you

"SOUND Hot water heater, dog barking"

Just wondering; do you get any mind impressions when you hear these sounds? I know there is Comprehanding after the fact of hearing but anything else? Im just being curious  

"No future. No past. Just NOW." = Acceptance of what Is It's a very good reminder that mantra of yours  
Just This, Just Now is ALL we Ever have. This infinitesmall Thisness that changes forms lightning fast This is as close to "truth" we can ever get it seems  

Keep at it mate!  

I'm here too mate! keep up the good work

Nice  

Meditation for the mind is like water for the body. Its just of plain benefit FULL STOP Need drink water, need awake mind same-same  

"OVERALL IMPRESSIONS Totally happy"

 

"sheer lonliness at spending Thangiving totally by myself."

Thank you Sam for the gift of sharing the Dhamma  

I spend Christmas all by my lonesome. This year will be the same. There can be sadness and loneliness to it. 

Really proud of you buddy! I am glad to see that noting is going well and you are staying consistent. Keep up this solid work brother!!  Best of wishes to you 

"What was that?"

This was "questioning-curiosity". The cold thing have no clue bro But you ARE riding that buck now! Yippee ki-yay!  

I am glad that things are going well for you Sam! Do you note with eyes closed? 

Good stuff man! Keep it coming 

Hi my friend,

Very interesting. 
"When you went through that week of heightened sensitivity, you reported that few to no thoughts would arise during your sittings. In my experience, there are often very subtle and fleeting mental images or narrative thoughts that bubble up as a result of a stimulus. For instance, if you hear a dog barking, does anything arise in your mind's eye? 

Boy, that's an interesting question. When I was experiencing of heightened sensitivity, it seemed like there was "no time" to have thoughts. I was absorbed in the flood of sensations and inreased mindfulness. But maybe I should look these very subtle and narative thoughts that result from the stimulus.

Also notice the general attitude that you're having towards the content of your sits. It sounds like there is some doubt, insecurity, boredom, and impatience, etc. It's very normal to experience these and a portion of my practice is trying to notice these states too. There's the fine-grained perspective that sees subtle sensations, but there is also the meta-perspective that views the overall attitude or reaction to these as well.

Hmm, other than thiis morning, I didn't think I was reflecting doubt, insecurity, boredom and impatience. During thw week of heightened sensativity, I was feeling high as a kite every day. It's just now, that I dought the constant noting of virtually the same body sensations and if this should be the general path for noting.


Alternatively, try practicing Metta or the Brahmaviharas on the cusion or throughout your day.
Off cushion practice is also invaluable and this can be done via noting, light breath awareness, open awareness, Tibetan Realms practice (seeing the mind's orientation), 5 Elements practice (seeing the mind's reactivity), etc. Experiment and see what helps you to be more present and equanimous during your day while also continuing to practice your formal sitting meditation.

Good ideas. Thats why  I'm also checking in with Abre for her ideas for what possibilies/what direction my path should take me now.
Thanks!

"Even worse, I had been stopping the noting flow to write down each sensation!"

I agree this is certainly of no benefit. If you can best is to laugh about it and turn a new page as you already are doing. We always learn new things about our meditator-self. It's a process. Don't fault yourself and just follow the good old saying "what do we do when we fall off the horse? We climb back on" The ride goes on and we know better now. I'm sure we will all fall off the horse many times on this journey  

Best wishes to you Sam! 

Yes! What is the story of each session? Who are the main characters, what did they want, what were the obstacles and what were the successes? 

Hi Sam,

Just a couple of remarks, which I hope will not sow confusion and be helpful instead.

Basically, the list of factors Abre mentionned are the Seven Factors of Awakening, and the Hindrances.

You can read relevant passages in MCTB, they are very clear and useful IMO.

The idea is not just to see if these different factors are strong or not, but to actually tweek your meditation and strengthen these factors so that they will be more present and more balanced. So, during a session, you can check in from time to time, see what's up, and change things accordingly. Also, this is straight vipassana, in case you might be wondering, as some consider that considering lists like that while meditating, which were outline by the buddha, to be the fourth foundation of mindfulness, Dhammanupassana, contemplation of dharma. So, it's not distraction.

Furthermore, there is an order to these. It's M I E R C T E (that's how I remember them), 1 Mindfulness/presence comes first, 2 Investigation/enthusiastic curiosity can then be established, then more 3 Energy can be poured invested in the enthousiastic curiosity, then 4 Rapture is born from that joyful effort of being present. This should be balanced with 5 Concentration (also can be seens as relaxation/centring/stability of attention), 6 Tranquility, and 7 Equanimity (or evenness and detachment).

You can see the connection with your version of the list. 

These factors are TO BE ESTABLISHED. They won't necessarily show up by themselves. 

It's important to make it yours and truly grok what these different things mean for you in your practice, experientially, and what you can do to actually mold your practice to have a bit more tranquility here, more investigation there, etc.

You can. Influence. those things.

It was a real breakthrough in my practice when I understood this. Thank you, Dan Ingram.

It's also really cool, to realize that you can actually shift your energy level at will, basically, if you learn the skill. That's what meditation practice is about too : building a malleable mind and body.

Same goes with joy : learn to generate the joy, don't expect it to just show up. Find a way to make the meditation engaging.

Rinse and repeat with all the other factors. They are important aspects of your mind and understanding this will be beneficial to your practice, and beyond, because you can apply this to daily life too. If you find that your mind is dull, or that you lack presence while doing the dishes, you might just realize that you can just change that in a few seconds... Believe me, it's possible ... !

Maybe, if you were in for another list, you could check out the 5 spiritual factors faculties, also called controlling faculties. They're pretty important too, and resonated with me even more strongly at first. I somehow feel like they relate with shamatha/brahmaviharas/heart practices more, but you can make your own opinion.

Best wishes, Sam.

Good to see you practicing again, and so fruitfully. 

I actually wrote a much longer reply but it got eaten by the ether when I hit Publish (maybe I clicked on Cancel by accident). In any case, it could be summed up as, keep giving thought to Oliver's comments, there is much value in them.