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Insight and Wisdom

Depersonalization of familiar sense of self

The background is I've been a regular mediator and inquirer for decades. There have been many experiences, mystical, psychic, communication with the departed, astral travel dreams, transformation of the perception of light and more. 
for the past few years there is a strong feeling of my personality (sound of voice etc) as being 'not me' or unreal. This can be sudden, I call it existential vertigo.
part of this may be the constant sense of no object nature, part of it seems like some chunk of the self broke away leaving an echo like gappiness.
functionng is normal though, however there has been a significant increase in sensitivity to suffering but also compassion.Input would be welcome. Thanks

RE: Depersonalization of familiar sense of self
10/18/20 10:06 PM as a reply to thomas.
I had some depersonalization episodes where I would wake up and couldn't find myself, the sense of being me had totally vanished. First time it happened I thought I thought it was psychosis and it left me pretty tripped out for a couple of days. After that it would still cause panic but gradually less and hasn't happened for a while now. FWIW my theory is that depersonalization is some kind of realization of anatta but how it affects you depends on your (whose?!) relationship to your personality. If you are "insecurely attached" like me (narcissist) then you freak out when your personality leaves the room, but if you are securely attached then it's less of a problem and some might even people love it. Sounds like you find it a little disconcerting but are basically ok with it. Could be worth reading Suzanne Segal's book In Touch With The Infinite for one woman's account of going off the depersonalization deep end and taking a few years to figure out it was all good.

RE: Depersonalization of familiar sense of self
10/19/20 2:41 PM as a reply to agnostic.
Thanks for the input, and your honesty. I'll check out the book.
I would think that various and possibly incomplete self dissolution experiences and even a new partial self-sense would be common with the meditative investigation of phenomena. However few talk about it.  In fact such practice has led me right into the mysterious moment by moment illusion/construction of self as presumed object. Also the world appears in the same manner. This seems obvious now and rather strange that generally people don't see that. The end of realism, materialism and beginning of magic!
Still not sure what it has to do with Enlightenment as there's still suffering and conditioning, the insanity of oppositional thought etc.The conscious human experience is not easy.

RE: Depersonalization of familiar sense of self
10/20/20 5:53 AM as a reply to thomas.
The only thing that makes it not easy is that we resist it. Dualistic existence by definition contains apparently oppositional forces. But it's up to us whethere we frame it as a struggle or a dance ...