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I never feel sorry or gratitude

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I never feel sorry or gratitude
Answer
11/5/20 11:07 PM
I don't understand apologies. I am never sorry about anything. I do what I think is best for everyone at all times.  A lot of that time that is having to do what is best for me because if I am not ok then I cannot help others. 

This makes the opposite true. I am never proud of anything I do. I just do what I think is best.

I don't feel gratitude. The best case scenario is that the other person is doing what they think is best, which is simply what I would have done.  The other possibility is that they aren't doing what they think is best for everyone, but I obviously would not feel gratitude for that because I do not feel gratitude for the stronger action.

That also makes the opposite true, I don't want or like thanks for anything I do.  

These feelings are not something I choose. Maybe I am a altruistic sociopath but I do not see any mistakes to the above.  I say please, and sorry, and thank you, but only as courtesies to make other people happy but in reality they are hollow to me.

I don't know why I am writing this, I just had the intuition to do so, my guess is so that people can show me I'm wrong.

RE: I never feel sorry or gratitude
Answer
11/6/20 1:02 AM as a reply to Bailey ..
If you always do what you think is best for everyone and also take others feelings into consideration in how you act and express yourself, that sounds fine to me. Unusual, sure, but normality is overrated. I'm curious, though: don't you ever happen to bump into someone? Do your actions never have a different (worse) outcome from what you intended? Those are situations when I feel sorry. The way I see it, feeling sorry doesn't always equal feeling a bad conscience. One can do one's very best and still have an outcome that is unsatisfactory. Personally, I also often wish I could do more. Also, I don't think it's that easy to see what is best for everyone. I agree that taking care of oneself is included in that, but where is the line when one has taken care of oneself enough? 

RE: I never feel sorry or gratitude
Answer
11/6/20 8:16 AM as a reply to Linda ”Polly Ester” Ö.
Yes, I think you stated things well. That the working definition of sorry would be making a miscalculation, having something happen that I did not intend to happen, and hurting someone as a result, but meaning also as you said that I would not have a guilty concious. I guess the correct title of my post should be "I never feel shame/guilt"

"Personally, I also often wish I could do more. Also, I don't think it's that easy to see what is best for everyone. I agree that taking care of oneself is included in that, but where is the line when one has taken care of oneself enough? "

I would respond to all those in the same way, in that I can only do my best and so only hold myself accountable to that. That being said I hate making mistakes and beat myself up a lot. I don't know how that fits into the equation, but it is not a feeling of shame.

If I am truly honest I have so little ego left that I feel I do not make many decisions anymore and that plays a large part in it.  There is an intuition that my mind seems to check before I make decisions and that it is right pretty much across the board.  But that would be more to get into, an author talks about something similiar. My guess is that that is letting the universe make the choice and thus you are obvously doing the best possible for all.

That is the reason I made this post, I had the feeling to.  It happens so often and is so commonly right that I usually go along with it even if I don't know the reasoning.  But I have seen it enough where I thought the result of the post would either be catharsis or more likely having the universe get me information to me to correct my thinking.  I think my heart chakra might be closed and that is why I feel this way.  But my mind will automatically now investigate and the results will not be long.

RE: I never feel sorry or gratitude
Answer
11/6/20 7:55 AM as a reply to Bailey ..
Bailey .:
If I am truly honest I feel I have so little ego left that I do not many many decisions at all at thsi point and that is a large part of me feeling this way.

I would question this. There is a difference between seeing the ego for what it is and not having an ego. (Hint: one of them is impossible.)

RE: I never feel sorry or gratitude
Answer
11/6/20 1:12 PM as a reply to Bailey ..
Bailey .:
Yes, I think you stated things well. That the working definition of sorry would be making a miscalculation, having something happen that I did not intend to happen, and hurting someone as a result, but meaning also as you said that I would not have a guilty concious. I guess the correct title of my post should be "I never feel shame/guilt"

"Personally, I also often wish I could do more. Also, I don't think it's that easy to see what is best for everyone. I agree that taking care of oneself is included in that, but where is the line when one has taken care of oneself enough? "

I would respond to all those in the same way, in that I can only do my best and so only hold myself accountable to that. That being said I hate making mistakes and beat myself up a lot. I don't know how that fits into the equation, but it is not a feeling of shame.

If I am truly honest I have so little ego left that I feel I do not make many decisions anymore and that plays a large part in it.  There is an intuition that my mind seems to check before I make decisions and that it is right pretty much across the board.  But that would be more to get into, an author talks about something similiar. My guess is that that is letting the universe make the choice and thus you are obvously doing the best possible for all.

That is the reason I made this post, I had the feeling to.  It happens so often and is so commonly right that I usually go along with it even if I don't know the reasoning.  But I have seen it enough where I thought the result of the post would either be catharsis or more likely having the universe get me information to me to correct my thinking.  I think my heart chakra might be closed and that is why I feel this way.  But my mind will automatically now investigate and the results will not be long.


aloha bailey,

   I agree that your heart is closed, and that is why you have no feelings of shame or sorrow. No sense of responsibility.

   For example, I am extremely sorry that america did not repudiate their mendacious, corrupt, racist president far more thoroughly, and I am deeply shamed of being a white, male american.

   I am not personally responsible for america's embrace of ignorance, racism and corruption. And yet I am implicated, having benefitted all my life from white privilege. In case you don't recognize white privilege, consider that the second amendment only applies to white people. Imagine if a gang of blacks called themselves the black militia and started strutting around government buildings carrying siderms and assault rifles. "We hold these truths to be self-evident" and we are still lying.  

   I think you recognize a basic lack of motivation and passion in your affect and are concerned about it. It's ok to care, bra. It's going to be painful; the more you care, the more painful. "These are the times that try men's souls," said thomas paine.

"These are the times that try men's souls; the summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman."

   It is easy not to care about social justice, about the prevailing climate of dishonesty. It's just politics, some say. I had to dismiss one of my apprentices, besuty, because she insisted on insisting to me the day before the election that clinton and biden were purveyors of a pederasty ring, and that even if there was no evidence whatsoever after extensive investigation, it was a legitimate opinion to hold and believe and ok to propagate such assertions. I rather heatedly maintained, not for the first time, that such allegations were vicious and unconscionable lies that degraded political discourse to the point of destroying it altogether. She felt I was too heated, that it was "just politics," but I knew she had been laying down with dogs and had gotten up with fleas. I told her she should be ashamed of herself. She left the shop in a huff. Bye, come back when you get over yourself.

   You too, bra. You are part of the problem or part of the solution.

   Tell the truth, stand up for the truth, be the truth. Or feel shame. Then you can be more authentic and recover your normal affect. 

   People who never feel shame never perfect themselves.

terry





STILL I RISE
by Maya Angelou


You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.


Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.


Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.


Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.

Weakened by my soulful cries.


Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.


You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.


Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise
I rise
I rise.

RE: I never feel sorry or gratitude
Answer
11/6/20 1:39 PM as a reply to agnostic.
agnostic:
Bailey .:
If I am truly honest I feel I have so little ego left that I do not many many decisions at all at thsi point and that is a large part of me feeling this way.

I would question this. There is a difference between seeing the ego for what it is and not having an ego. (Hint: one of them is impossible.)

which one?

RE: I never feel sorry or gratitude
Answer
11/6/20 1:48 PM as a reply to Bailey ..
Bailey .:
I don't understand apologies. I am never sorry about anything. I do what I think is best for everyone at all times.  A lot of that time that is having to do what is best for me because if I am not ok then I cannot help others. 

This makes the opposite true. I am never proud of anything I do. I just do what I think is best.

I don't feel gratitude. The best case scenario is that the other person is doing what they think is best, which is simply what I would have done.  The other possibility is that they aren't doing what they think is best for everyone, but I obviously would not feel gratitude for that because I do not feel gratitude for the stronger action.

That also makes the opposite true, I don't want or like thanks for anything I do.  

These feelings are not something I choose. Maybe I am a altruistic sociopath but I do not see any mistakes to the above.  I say please, and sorry, and thank you, but only as courtesies to make other people happy but in reality they are hollow to me.

I don't know why I am writing this, I just had the intuition to do so, my guess is so that people can show me I'm wrong.


   We considered the lack of shame, but not the lack of gratitude. It occurs to me that you could only feel gratitude if you could feel shame. I am grateful to be forgiven my shame. To be able to start fresh, be renewed, redeemed. All the filth and degradation washed clean.

  So ashamed.

   So very, very grateful.

t




this song originally written for the musical, "the smell of the greasepaint, the roar of the crowd")


FEELIN' GOOD
(nina simone, et al)

Birds flying high
You know how I feel
Sun in the sky
You know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good
I'm feeling good
Fish in the sea
You know how I feel
River running free
You know how I feel
Blossom on a tree
You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good
Dragonfly out in the sun, you know what I mean, don't you know
Butterflies all havin' fun, you know what I mean
Sleep in peace when day is done, that's what I mean
And this old world is a new world
And a bold world
For me
For me
Stars when you shine
You know how I feel
Scent of the pine
You know how I feel
Oh, freedom is mine
And I know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good
I'm feeling good
I'm feeling so good
I feel so good

Songwriters: Leslie Bricusse and Anthony Newley

RE: I never feel sorry or gratitude
Answer
11/6/20 5:16 PM as a reply to terry.
Terry and Agnostic, thank you for your input.