Hi, i meditate since 3 years ago, and i spent the last year meditating 2-4h a day.
As soon as i started i had huges A&p events being a psychonaut before my path. (Things unfolded in an absurd way using psychedelics and would like some info about what happened, now i m drug free since 2 years).
Fast forward 1 year ago i had a huge dark night lasting 1 week, could only see blankness in front of me all the time and lost every capacity of smiling and happiness, this represented again 1 month later laating again 1 week.
1)was this actually the infamous dark night?
Then all went away and i got i think equanimity, just calm a peace for a loong time.
Had some doubt months, maybe little dark night and then out again.
It looks like i m going back and fort between A&p, dukkha nanas and maybe EQ?
2)any advice on how to break trough SE?
Fact is i don t see any cessation happening.
Sometimes happens something like i feel a "fall" and then hear a "BOP" and my whole body vibrates, that s similar to how a guy explained anatta door cessation, but i don t feel any bliss and no time gap so i doubt they are cessations.
Could SE happen without cessation? My moment to moment experience is by no way normal so i don t know what to think
