I'm new here. If this is in the wrong place let me know and I will adjust accordingly, thanks!

Oct. 30 30min sit 8am

I started with noticing awareness of body sensations. Just being alert and in the present moment. Allowing thoughts to rise and fall without being tangled.
Nothing too distracting at this point, very soft concentration. Loosely allowing experience to happen while maintaining alertness and trying not to be rigid.

Still staying with body sensations my visual field (eyes closed) destabilized very dramatically like my eyes were fluttering or my experience of where my eyes were pointing or my centeredness of mind in relation to where I was looking began to vibrate rapidly. It's really hard to describe this. I don't think my eyes were moving at all. It was like my mental association of where my eyes were pointing couldn't stabilize. I just tried to stay with this experience and allow it to happen.

This was followed by my whole sensation of body alignment being pulled or skewed dramatically to the left. Almost as if my body experience was wet paint and someone came along and smeared it right through he middle. My head and feet were more or less aligned in my mental expectation of space but my midsection was just not where it was "supposed" to be. this was really weird and I again just tried to let it happen.

I eventually went into reflection about this (that is lost in thought). When I noticed this I came back to body awareness and the sensation faded and everything "re-aligned"

I began counting breaths (1-10 and backwards) with extremely stable concentration (for me however it was not spacious as I have experienced before. My concentration rested on the breath for 2 or 3 full cycles of counting forward and back but the mental space felt hard or compressed and my body sensations were more "small" or of what I would call typical reality or regular. I then noticed that my breath had become extremely shallow (staying mostly in the throat). My concentration faded shortly after this as I got frightened for a moment that I might stop breathing altogether.

I got lost in thought for a few moments about that and then returned to body sensations.

The timer went off about 1 or 2 minutes later.

October 30, 2011 - 30 minute sit - 9:30 pm

Started with awareness of body sensations
Lots of mental dialog at first
Kept bringing mind back to awareness of body

Let concentration rest on natural breathing
Breath slowed and became shallow
Some discomfort
Maintained awareness and tried to allow the body to do what it wanted/needed
Breathing was only in throat
Short in/out then long pauses
Then breath seemed to flip like as I started breathing regular again it was backward as if out was first then in or something like that.
Concentration was more relaxed
There was mental dialog but it didn't really intrude on concentration
Slightly spacious
Stayed like this until the timer went off

Stood up and felt very comfortable in my body
Not overly pleasant just regular/natural/ok
Mind easy.

October 31, 2011 - 30 minute sit - 6 am

Calm abiding
Occasional mental dialog
Kept returning awareness to body sensations
Occasional fluttering of eyes (I think what is happening here is that they are trying to turn up into my head - I forgot that this was happening during last night's sit in cycles. Things would be calm and clear then my eyes would bug out, roll up in my head, then relax and return to normal and my concentration and head space would be stable again. This happened 3 or 4 times.)

Concentration rested on the breath with some effort
Slightly spacious
Relaxed

Timer went off
Felt much the same as last night after standing up.

So it sounds like you are in this "calm and clear" state with stable concentration and then the eye flutters/instability come, which is apparently a conflict between an impulse to roll the eyes back up into the head and an impulse to control this impulse? is this right? If this is so, I wonder what might happen if the eyes were allowed to move as they wish? Or are you trying to hold the eyes in a certain position for some reason? (and I'm not saying you should or shouldn't be, I can think of lots of reasons for going either way with that).
-Jake

This has happened before in my practice and I've always fought against it in a way because it hurts a little and makes me want to open my eyes so I try to force them back to a central point. I have not had a long enough sit since this last post for it to happen again. I have made time tonight for one and will see if I can just let them do their thing. I do have a tendency to look directly forward. I had not considered why or what that meant until you've mentioned it here though...

http://dreamlandnoise.wordpress.com/2011/11/11/carrying-buckets/

11-17-2011 30 minute sit 9pm

Began counting breath (1-10 and backwards)
Lots of mind noise and fatigue, nearly fell asleep a few times (working a lot of overtime lately;)
had to straighten back from slouching often
After awhile of this and setting will, awareness rested on the breath for a few counts but would come and go.
Eyes rolling up in head. I tired to allow this to happen. They seemed to get stuck or rest in a position of tension and breath became shallow but natural.
Stopped breathing all together for a few seconds then breath was short and shallow
Another cycle of mind noise and fatigue went on for a bit
Set will and continued counting breath.
Some spaciousness
Tired to move awareness into feeling/sensation of the body while counting the breath
Felt something weird about "Who"? was doing this or "Who or what"? was experiencing this.. (?)
Pain in base of neck
Put attention there
Seemed to pulse (very hard tension to vanishing completely)
Fatigue again, returned to counting breath

Alarm

11-18-11 20min sit 830pm

Counting breath,
Mind noise

After awhile shifted to a stage of quietness. There was occasional mental dialog but not nearly as intrusive as the first stage.

Breath became shallow and quickly seemed to turn inside out and become natural. tension in eyes (rolling up in head)
Shifted into a stage of awareness of body sensations
pain/tension in base of neck
Tired to "live there"
tension seemed to intensify and shift upward slightly (like trying to release up the spine through the head) but was stuck.
body awareness seemed to start to merge into the whole field of experience (like "I" was dissolving or disappearing but experience was still happening)

Neck pain became to uncomfortable, broke meditation

Keep at it :-)

Nice reports.

November 21, 2011 20 minute sit 6:30am

Counting breath (1-10 and back)
I shifted back and forth from mild mental dialog to total loss of concentration for approximately three to four cycles. The apparent difference in metal space and the specific qualities of these differences is becoming clearer.

I began having trouble with fatigue and had to struggle to stay put. There was very little spaciousness at this point. My body was relaxed but my mind would not focus (or rest).

The pain in the base of my neck returned as a dull ache. It occurred to me that this may be existing there all the time on an unconscious level although it feels as if the practice is extracting specific energies but there is a blockage in that space. I could be making that up though;)

Tired, bored. Broke meditation.

November 21, 2011 30 minute sit 11am

Counting breath (1-10 and backwards)
Lots of mind noise for a long time
Feeling abdomen rise and fall
Lost in thought/Abdomen/Lost/Abdomen… This went on for more than half of this sit.

Lots of sounds outside
Abdomen/counting breath
Pain/tension in base of neck, tried to “live there”
Tension seemed to widen/broaden
Lost in thought (pain in neck vanished during this)
Pain in neck returned
Tried to widen awareness
Some spaciousness
Seemed near an opening up/resting

Alarm

November 21, 2011 30 minute sit 9pm

Counting breath
Some stable concentration
Some mental dialog but not totally lost in thought
Kept leaning into the moment, breathing and sensation
Concentration would not rest though

Lost in thought briefly
Feelings and thoughts of frustration
Leaned into sensation and let go of dialog
One or two cycles of held concentration but awareness would not rest on the breath

Stopped counting and shifted to zazen
Pain/tension in base of neck
tension in eyes/rolling up in head
Leaned harder into sensation
Body and mental spheres somewhat distinct

Alarm

November 22, 2011 20 minute sit 830am

Counting breath
Immediate lightness in mental activity
Still getting lost in thought but areas of spaciousness had a significantly lighter/calmer quality

Stayed with the breath and leaning into experience/sensation
Some distinct separation of sensory spheres

Lost in thought

Returned to counting breath and leaning into sensation
Somewhat stable concentration

November 23, 2011 30 minute sit 830pm

Noting practice

This was my first time using noting in sitting practice. I have experimented with it during daily activates but this approach was new to me

I didn’t go through any stages of mental space but the activity of noting kept me from drifting off in thought. Once or twice I wondered for a moment but immediately noted it and went on. I did notice (and note) quite a few moments of aversion to sitting or certain sensations. It was interesting to see how often aversion arises (for me).

Another significant result was that the sit did not feel nearly as long as when I either practice zazen or breath counting. That could have been because it was something new..

I assume that because this was my first time with this type of practice that it will take some time before it becomes spacious like dry vipassana does for me.. ??