I never really enjoyed the term concentration or focus, for someone with ADHD that always felt oppressive and against my natural tendencies. But my 7 year so far meditation journey has been chaotic at best. Okay, I'm going to go into a bit of a rant now. My teacher (root-Lama, Karma Kagyu lineage) lives far away and only sometimes comes here to give retreats. I am disconnected from the sangha I took refuge in (they are in another state) and I simply do not like the resident Lama (in short, he is ''too german''). I cannot count how many times I have started ngondro and stopped, I have even managed (somehow) to dodge the transmission of the first ngondro practice. Well, anyway...
 
I have been reading Daniel Ingram's book (MTT and it is reshaping my practice and how I am dealing with this ''concentration''. The instructions about ''just noting'' have kindled an exploratory fire that I haven't yet enjoyed it as such in meditation. Sometime it would come up but I would brush it off as ADHD wandering (that happens a lot, especially rambling mentally with myself). So my question to the larger community is, is that concentration? This exploration of sensation, this jumping from one thing to the next that brings about a certain feeling of child-like wonder, is this concentration? Is it insight? I have a hard time clearly defining anything as all my experience so I have noticed is always uncertain, foggy (maybe that itself is a fruition of insight?), I really cannot say what something is in any way at all! I have been trained to conceptualize concentration as maintaining the awareness in one thing only, even if I return to it after wandering. That is very well and good but not for someone like me, if I try to do that that is the same as hitting my head against a brick wall over and over again, to the point I could get a panic attack (I almost have in one retreat once). So if anyone can help me out I would greatly appreciate it, not just with the meditation but with the disconnection mentioned above as well. Is this style of practice, exploring the sensations that arise as they arise, without really sticking to any of them, a good practice? Is it concentration? Is this focus? Doesn't feel like it, feels too much like vacation, it feels good, it makes me feel free, yet I am insecure about it, I am insecure I am not developing my attention or gaining insight in any way. Thanks for reading, sorry for the mess.

Also it is noteworthy that this analysis and investigation of the sensations (mostly bodily or emotionally) is always accompanied by mental commentary such as ''What is this? What does this really feels like? This feels nice'' or descriptions of what I'm feeling like. So the commentary is always there.

You might like the use of the word "centering" instead of concentration. They both have the idea of center, but I agree concentration normally means effort, trying hard, and struggle. "Centering" is much more gentle and just means gathering together and resting/residing in an experience. This is much closer to what supports so-called "concentration". 

What noting provides is called "momentary concentration", the mind is allowed to move between objects, but the same sense of resting intimately with whatever arises, moment after moment, also leads to a kind of concentration. It's a more recent approach to meditation (or maybe a rediscovered old approach) but it indeniably works better for some people than focusing on the sensations of breathing. 

The trick is that "you" don't decide what the mind jumps to, you just let the mind go where it goes. You simply follow along and notice where it goes. And every so often (for example, on every outbreath) you label or "note" one aspect of what you are experiencing with a word. This helps make sure you are not just going off into a daydream or thinking instead of meditating.

If your experience is uncertain or foggy, then it is uncertain or foggy, and you can note uncertain or foggy. It's that simple.

It can be hard to believe that something so simple and easy can work so well... but it does. It can also be surprisingly difficult and challenging, so don't underestimate it either. It is like going through intense therapy with a crazy person, except you are both the therapist and the patient.

If a form of thinking arises, it's important to note that as well. With thoughts, you note the general category of thinking like "planning thoughts" "comparing thoughts" "analyzing thoughts" "judging thoughts". Just note what kind of commentary it is in a word or two.

Thank you for the response! The thing is is that the exploration of sensations kind of follows the thinking and vice-versa, it is as if I am skimming through a documentary of the experience as it is happening and I have some degree of power as if I can shift the camera to other sensations. The mental commentary though it is ceaseless and it doesn't carry a lot of weight. I have been doing that since ever, my mind does not stop thinking conventionally (unless I am in a deeply relaxed state but it just continues to comment as soon as I notice said state). So automatic thinking (and music too! at the same time almost always) follows the sensations like flies on a carcass, it is inevitable, if I try to control it, it is that head beating against the wall thing. You can understand why I am so doubtful of my own practice since my mind seems to go on two, sometimes three streams of data at once - sensation enjoyment/descriptions -> commentary/exposition of content/insights/daydreaming -> background music. 

Also it might seem like 2-3 streams at once but it is actually a back and forth of data content just at lightning speed.

 Doing your movements very slowly sometimes, slow motion creature, may help slow down your mind. It works well for me.

Also I like Ajahn Chah's analogy. There is an empty room, with a chair in the center. The door and all windows are open. You just sit on the chair in the center, and let whatever comes from the door and windows, come. The door and the windows are the senses, and you, centered in the space of the room, rested in the stillness of your being, just listen to the sense data. No control of attention or moving it from one object or one sense to another or directing it in any way, just resting in the center and listening to the senses.
 

Okay but is that enough? 

Why not have a tiny bit of improvement?!

I think little improvement is way better than thinking about and struggling with the ideas around big improvements. Less is enough! More will come by itself.

And about Ajahn Chah's instruction, if one does it properly, rested and centered, it should be enough!

There are some forms of meditation where you don't try to quiet the mind. You just try to observe it mindfully - it knowing you are observing it - not carried away, distracted, by thoughts, emotions, impulses, sensory experience or ego. 

https://www.yogajournal.com/meditation/surrender-experiment


Insight comes from observing the mind, so you can use this type of meditation as an insight practice.

A question that can be fun to ask is, "Enough for what?" What is the goal of the practice of noting or concentration, or whatever? Or is there a goal? Is the goal just to see what happens, or is it to see a specific thing, or achieve a specific state? 

Every answer to those questions, including no answer at all, is a good answer, but it's interesting to ask the question nonetheless.

It's probably worth re-reading MCTB with these new experiences in mind. I think you'll see how seeing commenary floating around is a very "mind and body" type experience  1. Mind and Body – MCTB.org 

The mind can often seem to run on several channels, including sensations (which includes touch, taste, sound, seeing, hearing), and emotions, and thoughts. Initially it can seem like everything is happening all at the same time. But next you notice the mind-body pattern, next you notice the cause-and-effect pattern 2. Cause and Effect – MCTB.org, next you notice the three characteristics pattern 3. The Three Characteristics – MCTB.org

These are not things you control or try to make happen. Trying to control meditation too much can definitely feel like beating your head against the wall. What you want to do with noting practice is just allow the mind and body to do it's thing and just be gently mindful of what is happening. Use noting as a way to maintain mindfulness. If you simply and patiently gain time spent in meditation, consistently and non-heroic (not striving too hard), then you develop the ability to relax and percieve the nature of experience more clearly. It's not anything that can be rushed. We all have to go at our own pace.

Hope this helps.

Thank you all for the advices! I feel better about my practice now and will work on not trying to obsessively control and coerce my mind. This is a realization I already had before but maybe because of forgetfulness I soon found myself demanding things from my mind again and again. Hopefully this time it'll stick.

Just remember to note "demanding thoughts"

edit: Even though I used similey faces, I'm also serious. We all have our unhelpful habits and noting practice is a good way to label them and gently let them go. "Oh silly demanding thoughts, there you go again. I know you're just trying to help, but it's okay, things are fine... You can demand if it makes you feel better, I'll always be hear to listen, but I must decide what is best and what is best right now is to just let go of control and gently note. "

I also don't like the term "concentration" for the type of meditation that creates feelings of jhana. The word is inaccurate to me. "Absorption" feels more accurate. Even "love" feels more accurate. In spite of the word "concentration," imo yes, you can retain a strong sense of jhana even as your focus shifts to different things--as long as that focus actually intensifies or maintains the feelings of jhana. For instance, my focus often shifts from my hands to my breath, sometimes on each breath, yet the real focus is actually on the feelings of jhana. When I hear about people focusing on, say, just the movements of their abdomen falling up and down for an hour, that sounds just about as fun as eating raw broccoli to me, and I don't even have ADHD.

If what you're doing feels good and like a vacation, that sounds good to me. Can you intensify it? I suggest focusing on that sensation or whatever is creating that sensation and seeing what happens. "Foggy" doesn't sound like any state I know of that is an aim in Buddhism, so if it just makes you feel more foggy, that sounds like the wrong direction.

Noting is insight meditation and doesn't usually lead to feelings of jhana for me. However, noting during meditation often involves focusing on one thing as well, e.g. the rising and falling of the breath.