Dear fellow DhO'ers,
After about a year dealing with depression-like symptoms, I felt I could not go on the same way any longer. I was desolated by feelings of wretched misery, isolation and incommunicability, outright emotional pain, unsurmountable insatisfaction, etc. As I have mentioned before on DhO, I have come to suspect that this is an LSD-induced dark night, partly because my last trip could easily fit the descriptions of the A&P events that I have read, and partly because I experience vibrations, energies, chakras, etc. With the inability to concentrate I could not properly do my job anymore, and so I decided to take a sick leave, for an indeterminate period, in order to attain stream entry.
So, beginning the end of December/beginning of January, I will move to my parents' house in the country to do a personal retreat. I am thinking 20 days of noting practice for starters, then pause and make new decisions, probably more retreat time, maybe somewhere else.
I have already done a 10 day retreat with Goenka, I have been meditating daily frequently for a few months, and I think I have enough theoretical knowledge to do this mostly on my own. I am thinking of doing mahasi-style noting. The aim is stream-entry, not rigpa or concentration practice.
I would much prefer, however, if I had a teacher. I am thus asking for an accomplished dharma practitioner in the pragmatic style of Daniel Ingram, who would be willing to check up on me every few days and whenever necessary, either or both through this board, email, skype or phone.
Is there anyone here willing to take such a burden?
Yours sincerely,
Bruno Loff
