some ideas on depression and progress

some ideas on depression and progress This Good Self 8/21/12 10:29 PM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress N A 8/20/12 11:56 PM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress This Good Self 8/21/12 12:04 AM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress N A 8/21/12 12:04 AM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress N A 8/21/12 12:05 AM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress This Good Self 8/21/12 12:22 AM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress N A 8/21/12 12:29 AM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress This Good Self 8/21/12 12:37 AM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress Simon Ekstrand 8/21/12 2:36 AM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress This Good Self 8/21/12 3:37 AM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress Simon Ekstrand 8/21/12 4:08 AM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress This Good Self 8/21/12 8:08 PM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress This Good Self 8/29/12 6:25 AM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress J B #A 9/4/12 4:10 AM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress This Good Self 9/5/12 5:17 AM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress QWERT Y 9/9/12 4:36 PM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress This Good Self 9/12/12 7:10 PM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress katy steger,thru11.6.15 with thanks 9/9/12 9:26 PM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress This Good Self 9/9/12 9:57 PM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress QWERT Y 9/11/12 1:40 PM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress katy steger,thru11.6.15 with thanks 9/12/12 8:41 PM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress This Good Self 9/12/12 7:26 PM
RE: some ideas on depression and progress katy steger,thru11.6.15 with thanks 9/12/12 11:56 AM
This Good Self, modified 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 10:29 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/20/12 10:19 PM

some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 946 Join Date: 3/9/10 Recent Posts
The self comes into being when fear causes consciousness (awareness) to contract down around certain aspects and attachments of the body. In this process, the self becomes solidified and so appears real. The self/ego is addicted to fear, because fear keeps it alive, even though it's uncomfortable to do so. The fear underlying all other fears is: "I am somehow not good/worthy enough. I am not [x] enough. I don't have enough {x}". Not good enough??....Not good enough to have that connection with other people or with Everything/God/Truth. In Christian circles, they talk about "the Fall of Man" and "original sin"* and it's a very useful metaphor. I understand that God is not a separate entity, but it is a separate entity for you if you're not enlightened, so let's be real about that. All other fears relate to this fear, even death. The most timid people are the most ego-centric.

The solution is to *be yourself* as deeply as possible, and be congruent with all aspects of your self - your appearance, achievements, lifestyle, intelligence, socio-economic status, emotions and personality. Hide nothing, be ashamed of nothing, because if you're not being congruent, you're not being real. And if you're not being real, you're trying to be something other than what you are right now. And if you're trying to be other than what you are right now, then you're judging against your self. And judging against yourself is the basic fear that keeps ego intact. A strongly contracted ego is heavy and very painful. ANY time you're trying, you're being fake. Trying to be compassionate, kind, moral...trying to be a friend, trying to make a fortune, trying to be attractive to the opposite sex..... it's all the same.

A self talk solution: "This is how I am. This is what I am. This is all I am"
As you say "this", bring attention to your whole self, but in particular, those aspects of your self that you perceive as being most unacceptable. If your sticking point is a wart on your nose, allow the wart to be absolutely enormous. Encourage it to be as big as possible, especially when you're around others. Put a nose ring in it to highlight it. Treat all deficiencies and shortcomings the same way.

Now using the same process as above, allow the world to be exactly as it is. The state of the world is a hell of a mess, so allow it to be a mess. Poverty, war, starvation, pollution, corruption, torture, disease, politicians, bankers, celebrities, academics, natural disasters, bad weather... whatever it is that creates discontent, instead allow it. Even better, encourage it. So if there's a tornado heading your way, encourage it to be as violent and destructive as it wants to be. Let it rip your house down and wipe out the population if that's its natural course. The worst thing you can do is pray to a mind-projected God to make the hurricane do something other than what it does naturally. Second worst thing is to try to take over this imaginary role yourself. Action is still possible - by all means board the house up and shelter in the basement - but there's an absence of mental urging of a particular outcome.

It should be obvious that absorption or insight meditative practices are potentially very harmful to mental health if practised before deep self-acceptance is achieved, because:
1) They require and encourage prolonged narrow focus of attention away from aspects of the self which desperately need the attention. Awareness is contracted, which creates excessive beta wave activity in the brain. This is anxiety provoking and unsettling, especially when prolonged. This is the reason why very few people naturally want to sit and meditate. It's extremely uncomfortable if a high level of self-acceptance has not been achieved first. It's uncomfortable because it solidifies ego rather than dissolve it.
2) They encourage a goal-seeking mindset. Seeking ANYTHING is ego-solidifying behaviour. Seeking bliss, enlightenment, freedom, truth - these are all tricky methods the ego uses to keep itself alive. Seeking to be a better, more loving, more compassionate person is egoic behaviour. The ego drives this process. So what's your motivation for meditating? Whatever you answer, it's wrong. Whatever you say is self-deception.



If these acceptance exercises are followed, the mind becomes peaceful, open and spacious on it's own. Now what ?


Just ask these questions (or something similar), very, very gently. It's like a wondering, a possibility, an imagining...

"I wonder, would your awareness be comfortable just gently watching itself?"
"Can you effortlessly imagine an awareness of infinite space? Would that be a pleasant place to rest?"
"Would relinquishing all knowledge of everything be a restful place to be?"

Be honest. If the answer is "NO" then go back to the acceptance exercises, and stay with them until the answer is YES.

Later...

Narrow focus (noting) is allowed, but only on a background of wide relaxed peaceful absorption, (and only if the wide, relaxed peaceful absorption has become boring). This is done as a way of enquiry, as a way of finding insight into the nature of the ultimate Truth.

[edits10] * I'm not Christian, Buddhist or anything-ist.
Top
thumbnail
N A, modified 11 Years ago at 8/20/12 11:56 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/20/12 11:56 PM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 157 Join Date: 7/10/11 Recent Posts
C C C:
The fear underlying all other fears is: "I am somehow not good/worthy enough. I am not [x] enough. I don't have enough {x}". All other fears relate to this fear, even death.

This doesn't match my experience at all. I'm pretty sure it's not true for me.
Top
This Good Self, modified 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 12:04 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 12:01 AM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 946 Join Date: 3/9/10 Recent Posts
N A:
C C C:
The fear underlying all other fears is: "I am somehow not good/worthy enough. I am not [x] enough. I don't have enough {x}". All other fears relate to this fear, even death.

This doesn't match my experience at all. I'm pretty sure it's not true for me.


Well that's good then. Proceed to step 2.

If there's any prolonged pain in a person's experience, issues of worthiness (basic goodness) will be present.
Top
thumbnail
N A, modified 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 12:04 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 12:04 AM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 157 Join Date: 7/10/11 Recent Posts
C C C:
It should be obvious that absorption or insight meditative practices are potentially very harmful to mental health if practised before deep self-acceptance is achieved, because:
1) They require and encourage prolonged narrow focus of attention. Awareness is made to contract down around objects, and this is the exact same mechanism the ego uses to sustain itself. This is the reason why very few people naturally want to sit and meditate. It's extremely uncomfortable if a high level of self-acceptance has not been achieved first. It's uncomfortable because it solidifies ego rather than dissolve it.

So do ordinary activities like reading or doing dishes. Being able to sustain narrow focus of attention is a great life skill.

2) They encourage a goal-seeking mindset. Seeking ANYTHING is ego-solidifying behaviour. Seeking bliss, enlightenment, freedom, truth - these are all tricky methods the ego uses to keep itself alive. Seeking to be a better, more loving, more compassionate person is egoic behaviour. The ego drives this process. So what's your motivation for meditating? Whatever you answer, it's wrong. Whatever you say is self-deception.

Actually I'm just following a basic drive, or whatever it is that people do when they are "being themselves" by your definition. I'm not doing it for show or out of a sense of inadequacy.
Top
thumbnail
N A, modified 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 12:05 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 12:05 AM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 157 Join Date: 7/10/11 Recent Posts
Oh, do you mean that those points only apply to depressed mediators?
Top
This Good Self, modified 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 12:22 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 12:10 AM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 946 Join Date: 3/9/10 Recent Posts
N A:
C C C:
It should be obvious that absorption or insight meditative practices are potentially very harmful to mental health if practised before deep self-acceptance is achieved, because:
1) They require and encourage prolonged narrow focus of attention. Awareness is made to contract down around objects, and this is the exact same mechanism the ego uses to sustain itself. This is the reason why very few people naturally want to sit and meditate. It's extremely uncomfortable if a high level of self-acceptance has not been achieved first. It's uncomfortable because it solidifies ego rather than dissolve it.

So do ordinary activities like reading or doing dishes. Being able to sustain narrow focus of attention is a great life skill.

2) They encourage a goal-seeking mindset. Seeking ANYTHING is ego-solidifying behaviour. Seeking bliss, enlightenment, freedom, truth - these are all tricky methods the ego uses to keep itself alive. Seeking to be a better, more loving, more compassionate person is egoic behaviour. The ego drives this process. So what's your motivation for meditating? Whatever you answer, it's wrong. Whatever you say is self-deception.

Actually I'm just following a basic drive, or whatever it is that people do when they are "being themselves" by your definition. I'm not doing it for show or out of a sense of inadequacy.


--I do the dishes and drive my car on auto pilot. Only if I had to do a maths equation would I want to use narrow focus. There's too much potential for arousal and solidification of self, unless it can be performed within a background of wide open awareness. That's a good skill. Not many people seem to have that.

--You can be yourself, realize you have a drive to be enlightened, but also realize that any such drive can't succeed because it's the ego directing the drive.

--Yes, mainly applicable to anxious or depressed people, which is a huge % of population, and growing.
Top
thumbnail
N A, modified 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 12:29 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 12:24 AM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 157 Join Date: 7/10/11 Recent Posts
C C C:
--I do the dishes and drive my car on auto pilot. Only if I had to do a maths equation would I want to use narrow focus. There's too much potential for arousal and solidification of self.

So you're advocating a lifestyle which discourages doing the task at hand with effort and attention. Why not just get drunk all the time - you won't be able to do math equations even if tempted. This is a well-known approach to reduction of suffering but presumably everyone on DhO agrees there must be better alternatives.

(Whatever your purported benefits of doing tasks "on auto pilot", I would still prefer that you don't drive on auto-pilot anywhere near me.)

--You can be yourself, realize you have a drive to be enlightened, but also realize that any such drive can't succeed because it's the ego directing the drive.

Are there any activities in which the ego is not directing the drive, or is "the ego" just a catch-all explanation for everything a human does?
Top
This Good Self, modified 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 12:37 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 12:37 AM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 946 Join Date: 3/9/10 Recent Posts
N A:
C C C:
--I do the dishes and drive my car on auto pilot. Only if I had to do a maths equation would I want to use narrow focus. There's too much potential for arousal and solidification of self.

So you're advocating a lifestyle which discourages doing the task at hand with effort and attention. Why not just get drunk all the time - you won't be able to do math equations even if tempted. This is a well-known approach to reduction of suffering but presumably everyone on DhO agrees there must be better alternatives.

(Whatever your purported benefits of doing tasks "on auto pilot", I would still prefer that you don't drive on auto-pilot anywhere near me.)

--You can be yourself, realize you have a drive to be enlightened, but also realize that any such drive can't succeed because it's the ego directing the drive.

Are there any activities in which the ego is not directing the drive, or is "the ego" just a catch-all explanation for everything a human does?


-- Let's see what "everyone on Dho" thinks. Most top sportsmen operate with open focus, especially when "in the zone", as they say. If a race car driver were to drive with narrow attention he wouldn't notice what's going on around him very well at all, because he would be constantly shifting from one small object to another, like a beginner driver does.

-- The ego is everything a human does and is.
Top
thumbnail
Simon Ekstrand, modified 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 2:36 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 2:36 AM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 245 Join Date: 9/23/11 Recent Posts
C C C:
I do the dishes and drive my car on auto pilot. Only if I had to do a maths equation would I want to use narrow focus. There's too much potential for arousal and solidification of self, unless it can be performed within a background of wide open awareness. That's a good skill. Not many people seem to have that.


This may be entirely specific to me, but I tend to tense up/tighten/constrict when entering auto pilot mode/being un-mindful, so keeping awareness running feels like a healthier option for me at this point in my life.

Simon
Top
This Good Self, modified 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 3:37 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 3:37 AM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 946 Join Date: 3/9/10 Recent Posts
Simon E:
C C C:
I do the dishes and drive my car on auto pilot. Only if I had to do a maths equation would I want to use narrow focus. There's too much potential for arousal and solidification of self, unless it can be performed within a background of wide open awareness. That's a good skill. Not many people seem to have that.


This may be entirely specific to me, but I tend to tense up/tighten/constrict when entering auto pilot mode/being un-mindful, so keeping awareness running feels like a healthier option for me at this point in my life.

Simon


Simon, auto pilot was possibly a wrong word to use, because it implies unconsciousness, as you'd get if you were to zone out in front of the TV or get drunk. There's still mindfulness, but it's spacious, open and inclusive, not focused.

You know when you look at a portrait photo, the foreground is in focus and the background is blurry. Well imagine the background is also in focus. Not only that, but whatever is outside the photo is also in gentle focus - the room you're sitting in, the carpet, the wall, the space inside the room. Everything equally, as wide as the mind is happy to go.
Top
thumbnail
Simon Ekstrand, modified 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 4:08 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 4:08 AM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 245 Join Date: 9/23/11 Recent Posts
Hi CCC,

Aha, ok, that's quite different from what I thought you intended with auto pilot, thanks.

I'm curious, have you looked at the meditation taught over at http://www.dhammasukha.org/ ?
They are very anti tight concentration/absorption and emphasize a relaxation step as something very important missing from many teachings today.

Some random quotes from http://www.dhammasukha.org/Study/Books/html/Breath-of-Love-eng-2012.htm
when searching for 'focus' on that page:

The future Buddha was disappointed because he saw that there were still many more things to let go of in his mind. He observed that these “absorption concentration techniques”, which focused intensely on the object of meditation, caused tightening in mind.


The words “he understands” are emphasized to show that you do not focus with strong attention on the breath to the exclusion of everything else. You merely “understand” what the breath is doing in the present moment. That's all there is to this! You simply know when you breathe in long or short! There is no controlling of the breath at any time. Instead, there is only understanding of what you are doing in the present moment. If you try to “over-focus” or “concentrate” on the breath to the exclusion of anything else, you will develop a headache due to this “wrong concentration”.


When you follow this sutta's instructions, this small step of relaxing in the instructions actually says that when you meditate, you are not strongly focusing just on the breath itself to the exclusion of everything else. You are using the breath to remind yourself to relax on both the in-breath and the out-breath. This changes the entire meditation, moving it away from “absorption concentration” and instead to developing the TWIM!


When you practice TWIM, the breath does not become subtle and difficult to observe. If this happens, then the meditator is “concentrating” too much on the breath and not smiling enough. Also, the tightness in the head is not relaxed enough. If the breath seems to disappear again, the meditator is focusing their “concentration” and not tranquilizing mind enough.


This seems more in-line with what you "preach" so I'm curious how you feel that something like this lines up with your view of the world.

I'm not trying to plug dhammasukha here, I'm sure many others teach similar things, I just happen to be familiar with their specific teaching so it was easy to use as an example for me.

Thanks,
Simon
Top
This Good Self, modified 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 8:08 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/21/12 7:28 PM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 946 Join Date: 3/9/10 Recent Posts
I like those instructions Simon, thanks. And yes, this style of practice isn't anything I have come up with myself, and I know it's nothing new.... but it is very different to the MCTB approach. Very successful teachers like Adyashanti, Richard Rose, Osho, Les Fehmi ("open focus") all have this relaxed wide focus approach.

But the main gist of this thread is something else. The main thing was the self-acceptance, and doing this at a very deep level. That was my contribution - it's original work. Some easy to practice self-talk that doubles back on self-consciousness and cuts it off at the root, avoiding depression.
Top
This Good Self, modified 11 Years ago at 8/29/12 6:25 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 8/29/12 6:25 AM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 946 Join Date: 3/9/10 Recent Posts
Letting go of control of little things is a good practice. When faced with ego death, letting go is required to make the transition comfortable instead of horrifying, so it makes sense to first practise with the small things.

Encouraging the self to be nothing other than what it is now will achieve this. This is how I am, this is what I am, this is all I am.

Sometimes at work I will self-talk along the lines of "I am not a [insert profession]. I am just this. Just this...this this this!" "I am not important. Even though I have certain skills and knowledge, I am not special. I am just this" It's a comfortable practice. It creates comfort and ease and it helps break the grip of the ego in a gentle way.
Top
J B #A, modified 11 Years ago at 9/4/12 4:10 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 9/4/12 4:10 AM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 12 Join Date: 8/31/12 Recent Posts
C C C:
N A:
C C C:
It should be obvious that absorption or insight meditative practices are potentially very harmful to mental health if practised before deep self-acceptance is achieved, because:
1) They require and encourage prolonged narrow focus of attention. Awareness is made to contract down around objects, and this is the exact same mechanism the ego uses to sustain itself. This is the reason why very few people naturally want to sit and meditate. It's extremely uncomfortable if a high level of self-acceptance has not been achieved first. It's uncomfortable because it solidifies ego rather than dissolve it.

So do ordinary activities like reading or doing dishes. Being able to sustain narrow focus of attention is a great life skill.

2) They encourage a goal-seeking mindset. Seeking ANYTHING is ego-solidifying behaviour. Seeking bliss, enlightenment, freedom, truth - these are all tricky methods the ego uses to keep itself alive. Seeking to be a better, more loving, more compassionate person is egoic behaviour. The ego drives this process. So what's your motivation for meditating? Whatever you answer, it's wrong. Whatever you say is self-deception.

Actually I'm just following a basic drive, or whatever it is that people do when they are "being themselves" by your definition. I'm not doing it for show or out of a sense of inadequacy.


--I do the dishes and drive my car on auto pilot. Only if I had to do a maths equation would I want to use narrow focus. There's too much potential for arousal and solidification of self, unless it can be performed within a background of wide open awareness. That's a good skill. Not many people seem to have that.

--You can be yourself, realize you have a drive to be enlightened, but also realize that any such drive can't succeed because it's the ego directing the drive.

--Yes, mainly applicable to anxious or depressed people, which is a huge % of population, and growing.



I appreciate your posts on this thread. I have a growing self-acceptance, where I am incrementally better at resting in impermanence, but as an "anxious/depressed" person (by virtue of my dealing with these things) I am once again made to worry about doing insight meditation, namely for 100 hours at the retreat that I have told you all that I plan to go on tomorrow. Nonetheless, thanks for the reminder to just be myself.
Top
This Good Self, modified 11 Years ago at 9/5/12 5:17 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 9/5/12 5:17 AM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 946 Join Date: 3/9/10 Recent Posts
JB if you feel happy and relaxed about it that's a nice place to be. I'm not at that stage.
Top
thumbnail
QWERT Y, modified 11 Years ago at 9/9/12 4:36 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 9/9/12 4:36 PM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 5 Join Date: 9/9/12 Recent Posts
Do you have any advice for being mindful of when you are not being true to yourself? I find I often do not realize that I have been trying to be something I am not until well after I have done it. Also, what do you have to say about situations where you are confused about what you are? (for example sexual orientation) Is it best to accept the confusion? How do you resolve the confusion if you are accepting of it?
Top
This Good Self, modified 11 Years ago at 9/12/12 7:10 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 9/9/12 7:26 PM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 946 Join Date: 3/9/10 Recent Posts
Tucker H:
Do you have any advice for being mindful of when you are not being true to yourself? I find I often do not realize that I have been trying to be something I am not until well after I have done it. Also, what do you have to say about situations where you are confused about what you are? (for example sexual orientation) Is it best to accept the confusion? How do you resolve the confusion if you are accepting of it?


Yes.
Top
thumbnail
katy steger,thru11615 with thanks, modified 11 Years ago at 9/9/12 9:26 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 9/9/12 9:26 PM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 1740 Join Date: 10/1/11 Recent Posts
Hi Words Matter,

Do you have any advice for being mindful of when you are not being true to yourself? I find I often do not realize that I have been trying to be something I am not until well after I have done it. Also, what do you have to say about situations where you are confused about what you are? (for example sexual orientation) Is it best to accept the confusion? How do you resolve the confusion if you are accepting of it?

I know you have asked C C C for his/her thoughts, but I'll chime in here and hope there's something helpful.

It is really useful, as a first step, to accept receptively and non-reactively any confusion about who you are, including sexual and asexual orientation.

This acceptance and curiosity may be a challenge, because sometimes "confusion" is existing as a psychological buffer to the suite of events that are likely to follow with acceptance: admittance, then action.

It is well-known that sexual orientation causes a lot of challenge in many societies. I do not know your age, but if you are a young person, there are many other issues that complicate this (e.g., being a dependent).

Activities that tremendously boost the mind's ability to become naturally happier are exercise: cardiovascular, strengthening and stretching. Also, eating a low glycemic diet outside of exercise times helps a lot of people.

Exercise will tone the mind's emotions and this, in turn, evens out thinking. So if there's a movement towards admittance and new actions, those actions may be balanced and thoughtful and surrounded by new, balanced friends (to whom you may naturally gravitate as you take care of yourself healthfully).

Best wishes.

Oh, and welcome to the DhO
Top
This Good Self, modified 11 Years ago at 9/9/12 9:57 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 9/9/12 9:48 PM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 946 Join Date: 3/9/10 Recent Posts
Words Matter:
Do you have any advice for being mindful of when you are not being true to yourself? I find I often do not realize that I have been trying to be something I am not until well after I have done it. Also, what do you have to say about situations where you are confused about what you are? (for example sexual orientation) Is it best to accept the confusion? How do you resolve the confusion if you are accepting of it?


I think it's a set up, but just in case it's not... please accept my apology.

edit: perhaps confusion over what you are may be resolved by analysis of core beliefs. For example, maybe if your father was distant or absent there's a longing for that male bonding that gets expressed as homosexuality? I'm not gay and haven't looked into it deeply, but have always had a suspicion that maybe it's learned. I don't mean this to be offensive, but if it's something you want to change, that might be one way to approach it.

Conflicting core beliefs comes into it. See Daniel's Magick thread.

Hope this is of some assistance..
Top
thumbnail
QWERT Y, modified 11 Years ago at 9/11/12 1:40 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 9/11/12 1:40 PM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 5 Join Date: 9/9/12 Recent Posts
I must have missed something. I don't know what made you think it was a "set up" besides maybe my low post count and name change? I changed my name because I decided I wanted more anonymity. I don't know why DhO makes me choose two words as a username?

Anyhoo, thank you for the advice katy and C C C it was helpful.
Top
thumbnail
katy steger,thru11615 with thanks, modified 11 Years ago at 9/12/12 8:41 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 9/11/12 4:46 PM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 1740 Join Date: 10/1/11 Recent Posts
You're welcome, Words Matter.

[removed the rest; off track]
Top
This Good Self, modified 11 Years ago at 9/12/12 7:26 PM
Created 11 Years ago at 9/12/12 7:26 PM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 946 Join Date: 3/9/10 Recent Posts
katy, yes have fixed that.

============================================================================================
Here's something I'm doing a a bit of nowadays, with an example, which is quite cool I reckon.

I take my current emotion: eg. angry

Then I imagine a therapist sitting in front of me and I say "I am angry because someone deliberately cut me off in traffic ".

Then I keep the conversation going.... "he had no right to do that....who does he think he is.... he did not respect me.... why is he doing that" and so on.

It is essential that the process is allowed to flow freely without shame or embarrassment. If it does flow freely, eventually some core beliefs come out, maybe something like "he does not respect me .... No one respects me!!"

Then I write down that belief: "no one respects me" and any other beliefs that emerge.

Then I simply notice how expectation has caused this external reality, and my emotion. If I expect "no one respects me" then my external reality will play out that way. I look at the belief, and I notice the causal link. "I believe this, and so this external reality has happened".

The most important part is to notice how the belief/attitude/thought is primary, and to see how external reality is a projected image of this. Just notice the cause/effect link. This in itself will stop you doing it!
Top
thumbnail
katy steger,thru11615 with thanks, modified 11 Years ago at 9/12/12 11:56 AM
Created 11 Years ago at 9/12/12 11:56 AM

RE: some ideas on depression and progress

Posts: 1740 Join Date: 10/1/11 Recent Posts
Hi C C C,

Here's my thought on when someone changes their name and their post count is still low and especially in the same thread: I change my post --- if I have copied their name --- to reflect their new name. This may be helpful to new people. So, while no one but me is suggesting this --- Words Matter has not suggested this to me to say (and it may not matter) --- what do you think of amending your post with the poster's first name and changing it to reflect "Words Matter"?

Usually I send this kind of request via PM, but the private messaging is so slow or never goes through that I am going ahead and asking you about this here.

What do you think?
Top

Breadcrumb