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Dealing with the Dark Night

Questions looking for guidance

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Questions looking for guidance
Answer
4/27/13 2:57 AM
Hello all,

I was an intense meditator for many years. Most of my practices had been aligned with the work of Aziz Kristof, the mainly practice being abiding in the center of the headspace consciously and constantly. During this time of intense practice I had a non dual awakening. I would sit on park benches for endless hours abiding as no dual awareness. The samadhi was deep and embodied.

About 18 months ago I decided to attend a 10 day vipasana retreat. During the retreat I mainly did my own practice of abiding in the headspace and returning to pure consciousness. Prior to the retreat I had spoken with an individual whom I was very close with and he encouraged me to open my crown chakra. Being that thought the years I had regarding him as a teacher I felt that he must know what he is talking about. During the retreat I would also build the energy in my head and project it out in hopes of opening the crown. Well I succeeded and it was followed my violent energetic fluctuations and depersonalization

The energies have since faded and I find myself in a depersonalized state. Acute light sensitivity, time space distortion, memory loss, nothing feels familiar, spacing out, loss of cognitive function, it's quite terriifying.

So what the hell is going on? All my symptoms fall under the umbrella of psychological depersonalization but then I wondering if this is dark night. Are they one in the same? Is this a Zen Sickness? Sound I practice the grounding meditation that was prescribed to master Haukin?

Any and all feed back would be helpful during these trying times.

RE: Questions looking for guidance
Answer
4/27/13 1:59 PM as a reply to john paul komperda.
Curious what your friend says about this development.

RE: Questions looking for guidance
Answer
4/28/13 12:11 AM as a reply to john paul komperda.
Here is a video talking about depersonalizetion by Shinzen Young - Enlightenment, DP/DR & Falling Into the Pit of the Void ~ Shinzen Young
Shinzen says in the video that he can help with this.
I would reach out to him ---http://www.shinzen.org/

RE: Questions looking for guidance
Answer
4/28/13 12:29 AM as a reply to john paul komperda.
A sense of self comes from likes and dislikes and a feeling of "mine".

I would find the things you like to do and just relish in them.

I also would look to Shinzen Young and other instructors that are experienced because they probably see this all the time.

RE: Questions looking for guidance
Answer
4/28/13 7:20 AM as a reply to Richard Zen.
Richard Zen:
A sense of self comes from likes and dislikes and a feeling of "mine".

I would find the things you like to do and just relish in them.

I also would look to Shinzen Young and other instructors that are experienced because they probably see this all the time.


Sounds good. Or go walking with bare feet on the grass, focusing on the feet. Do some gardening, lay some bricks, whatever..

When I used to do vipassana, I'd wake up in sheer panic in the middle of the night, feeling as if I was on the brink of dying. When this would happen, I would find myself instinctively patting my body all over repeating "this is me", which helped.