I'm getting ready for my first retreat in a week, and I'm thinking more and more about it. I've been ramping up practice and such, trying to gain momentum. I'm a little apprehensive, so I'm totally open to advice. I'll just post a few random things that come to mind.


-The fear of not being able to sit all day (I've often used chairs for extended sits, and I've just used a few pillows for a cushion in the past)
-The fear of being too hungry if the food is on the light side
-Generally unsure of what to expect
-Unsure of how different practice will be when high levels of concentration and long timeframes are involved
-Immensely grateful for the opportunity, and for the fact that I can go for free
-Totally digging the idea that I'll go coming from a sane and fairly baseline mood/perspective, since content of life and insight off cushion are sometimes hard to discern, and having only insight practice going on 24-7 will be a massive clarification on the insight side
-Feeling fairly confident, since I've got the jhana and vipassana techniques moderately down by this point
-Very curious to talk to the other people there and see where they come from. Maybe I'll run into a MCTB'er!
-A little nervous about being 20, probably younger than most people, but who knows. Most likely irrelevant.
-Luckily the location was changed to a venue only 1 hour away, which is great because unfortunate job problems leave me with 40$ to make it there and back.
-Going by other stories, it seems that I will most likely be one of the few who are practicing and not getting buried in content, thank you DhO and Daniel for making the actual path of practice clear(er).

Here's another thing... I've worked on meditation for awhile now, so jhana and vipassana (mainly via noting) are part of my established practice. I've heard that you are asked to commit to the instructions of the retreat, but I get the impression that a lot of the instructions are for people who haven't had much experience with meditative techniques and traditions, in particular those that directly teach about states and stages, paths and attainments, and the like. I've read that the first few days are concentration based and that the rest are mainly insight practice. So, would it be okay to just build up jhana for the concentration phase and then do my vipassana technique (mainly noting but generally involves working with the characteristics of the vipassana jhanas)? I will feel slightly guilty not following instructions to a tee, but I'm also going to work on getting whatever path is next, and I'm more than familiar with the techniques that the pragmatist practitioners and teachers have discussed. I'm assuming that jhana is hinted at by the concentration instruction, and don't know how explicit they will be about that, or the enlightenment aspect, for that matter. But that's what I'm after... concentration ---> getting into jhanas and improving skill, and insight ---> getting enlightened/more enlightened.

As far as talking with instructors, I'm willing to be fairly explicit about jhanas and nanas, or at least how they present themselves, but don't really know what to expect as far as how explicit the instructors will be. I suppose I'll play it by ear, but I'm assuming phenomenological descriptions are a safe bet.

I'm 100% ready to blast this thing to pieces. I've always been able to distract myself when insight practice gets tough, but this will be a golden opportunity to blast through everything that comes up, given the setting of 10 day commitment.

First of all relax a little. You seem to be APing it a bit with the "blast this thing to pieces' angle. Secondly read this again if you have already:http://www.dharmaoverground.org/web/guest/dharma-wiki/-/wiki/Main/ReformedSlackersGuide. Thirdly, if you are going to stray from the goenka instructions, don't be surprised if you are asked to leave the retreat if you divulge that to the teacher. They are most probably aware these days of "hardcore" yogis spouting this and that from MCTB, so don't be surprised if they ask you to drop that and just follow the instructions (or leave the retreat). If you want to use the instructions given on the retreat to your advantage and avoid ruffling the course runner's feathers, then you could follow some of these tips.

My advice, if you are going to "use and abuse", keep quiet. If your conscience gets the better of you, then follow goenka's instructions to the tee continuously 24/7 at all waking hours and in all positions. Doing so will result in progress to whatever comes next on your path. And finally, relax and enjoy the valuable time doing continuous practice in ideal conditions.

Nick

1 In Goenka retreats you can get chairs. If you complain about back pain enough, you will get one.

2) Remark about the technique: as far as I can see, the concentration technique in the first three days is adapted to fit the body scanning. If this is a technique which you don't know yet, why not just try it out by following the instructions precisely? In my experience, it has quite different effects than Mahasi technique, but that doesn't make it less impressive.

3) One more hint: For beginners, they don't recommend doing meditation in the breaks. (Only at day 9 I think.) You may want to change this and do it all the time from the beginning. Maybe an assistant teacher will talk to you about this if you ask him, or maybe not.

Once you get there, most of your fears will dissolve and you'll get into the flow of the schedule. Just dont worry about these things until then.

I dont recommend you using a chair since you're young & better off physically than the kind of people that need chairs.

You'll feel hunger in the evening and think about food in the night. Keep observing it and it will fade. Dont over stuff yourself at lunch to make up for dinner as it doesn't work that way and will only ruin your concentration. Hunger tends to bring out buried sankharas of craving, which is it is helpful.

Dont expect anything.

Day 3 and Day 6 are generally the toughest. Dont give up.

Dont form any pre conceptions or notions about the teaching, teachers, or experience. Just find it out on your own. Follow the instructions they are giving as well as you can, and you'll blast whatever is in front of you into outer space.

I think the usual instruction here is to not get excited and don't have expectations. But it's not like you can just control your thoughts and feelings, so go ahead: be excited! Besides, nothing destroys expectations and enthusiasm quite like smashing into reality at top speed. You'll learn something from it no matter what.

My only suggestion is to remain on the reticent side in meetings with teachers. There's sometimes a strong tendency to want the approval of others, especially when you know your practice kicks so much ass. I would feel that temptation but not let it turn into words or deeds. That can end poorly and result in you not having as much fun as you would otherwise have had.

Though I suppose if you spiked your cushion on the floor like a football and yelled, "Sakadagami, motherfucker!" that would constitute a learning experience, too, though of a different sort. (Edited to add: since we live in the time without a sense of irony, I must add that I'm kidding and am not really advising him to do that.)

Good luck! We'll all be glad to hear what it was like when you return.

I'm not too sure of that. At the Igatpuri and Mumbai centers, they have teachers with some really deep and penetrating insight, and from experience I've known that whatever advice they give you was exactly what you needed to progress at the time. Maybe this differs from place to place since there are many assistant teachers now.

Also during the retreat they are not allowed to talk of anything more than what's covered in discourses. However, if they feel that you have well grounded insight, they will be more willing to talk about stuff that isn't covered. One senior teacher has given me immense guidance on almost everything I was unsure of and I'm really grateful for it.

LOL