I feel that this kind of stuff is the most important thing we can work on in the short amount of time we have on Earth. But, many of us can't focus on it because we have to work.

I am really struggling to know what I should do. I wish I could get like an internship to be a spiritual seeker than eventually teach other people when I get insights into reality. However, for me there are no enlightened people around my area, and so the best bet is a job at Mcdonalds. I feel this is not what I was meant to do.

Is there any way I can do this spiritual stuff for a living or at the very least come close to it?

Even if you become an accomplished meditator and have deep and liberating insights, that doesn't neccessarily mean you will make a good teacher (not by a long shot). They are two separate skill sets, just like in any activity.

Sounds like you are reflecting on your place in life, what to do with yourself. That's a pretty normal thing in various stages of life and under various circumstances. in and of itself it sounds very workable although, in my own life, I know that sometimes that can be a tough place to be, pervaded by a lot of suffering.


J: I feel that this kind of stuff is the most important thing we can work on in the short amount of time we have on Earth. But, many of us can't focus on it because we have to work.

Most folks, as their practice picks up, seem to experience a breaking down of the barriers between the Work (of inquiry and awakening) and other aspects of life (such as employment). This can happen in many ways. It can be reflected in changes to your occupation or just to your attitude. But I will say this from my own experience: it's totally possible to practice intensely and experience liberating insights in the context of working dead-end jobs. Not just that it can happen despite working shitty jobs... it can actually happen right there, in the midst of it all. Just gotta get the process rolling.

What is your understanding of what you are trying to achieve through practice? And how are you going about it-- what methods and approaches are you implementing? How is that going?

Well, I use to meditate by myself for any experience of enlightenment. Now I feel restless when I'm not meditating with a group or doing some activity to keep my mind from going round and round. It's getting hard for me to sit by myself like I use to and just stop my thoughts.

Momentum is key in my experience and can be maintained in virtually any situation depending on your motivation. If there are gaps in practice (such as not being able to take one's practice of paying attention to experience into all positions and situations) then the formal sitting with other people is perhaps just another trap along the path where one simply feels restless when not in such a situation. It seems you have an antagonistic relationship with 'the mind going round and round'. This will result in nothing but frustration. You need to change the relationship with/manner of viewing such a mind. Read this to perhaps trigger a helpful shift in perspective.

Have you tried a different approach to 'stopping my thoughts'? Often the very mental momentum of such an urge (i.e. to stop thoughts) simply results in more thoughts of a frustrating, agitating quality. Rather, you could drop the objective of stopping thoughts, and simply watch the thoughts with the idea of catching the very moment they cease, regardless of whether the ceasing is momentary or long, followed or not followed by another thought. Just watch for the very ending of each thought stream of whatever particular "theme". Notice the very moment it ceases. It's not about willing their ceasing. It's about noticing the subtle moments they actual cease themselves (and they are ceasing all the time, we just don't notice those ceasings) and simply recognising the patterns that lead to such ceasing. Pattern recognition is what you should be doing, rather than trying to change the patterns forcefully. The act of recognition is what more than not actually triggers the changes in the patterns. When something is noticed in experience, that is when you can do something about whatever it is you want done. See those changes as side effects rather than the objective of what you are doing.

Recognising the patterns and their causes in our experience, makes it easier to let certain patterns drop away and for other more conducive patterns to establish themselves. If you don't notice how in a foreign language that a certain consonant is pronounced a certain way with the tongue in a certain position in the mouth, then there is little chance of you reproducing the exact pronunciation of that consonant. If however you can notice all these details of how the consonant is pronounced in the foreign language (perhaps by viewing videos or pics of tongue position, having the language teacher physically show you where the tongue is positioned etc), then you have more chance of changing how you pronounce the consonant more like it is in the foreign language.

Read this for a possibly different perspective to your own to get you to approach experience in general a little differently to how you may be approaching it at the moment. Sometimes all it takes is to shift a long held 'belief' slightly, let it be seen (and its natural cessation noticed due to holding the light of attention to it) for a profound shift in experience to occur.

Nick