Hi all

I've just discovered this and finding it really helpful.
I've been having what I now think are kundalini type experiences for about 6-9 months.
These happened spontaneously after a cranial osteopathy treatment.  They include sometimes very strong shaking of head, limbs,
contorting of the jaw / face, hands, arms flapping, body writhing, violent exhalation of breath with angry feel to it, lots of neck twisting / stretching. Also very measured almost yoga type poses.  I can 'make it stop' at will and had more or less stopped them from occuring as I was worried they'd get 'out of control' or become habitual 'in public'.
This all pre dated my getting into meditation in a more serious way.
I recently did a 10 day Vipassanna retreat (Goenka) here in Sydney.  The kundalini reactions started occuring - though I tried to stop them as I  didn't want to disturb others.  I asked the assistant teacher about it and he said I should stop them from developing - i.e. as soon as i notice an impulse to move / shake etc to move on the next area.  I managed to do this and it created a sort of domino like ripple effect from head to toe.
Not a 'subtle / flow en masse' of course. 
I also had rushing energy up the spine, bright neon blue and white sparkling lights, laser like grid / cell patterns over areas of the body I was concetrating on.  Feeling of overwhelming bliss etc. 

I've continued to meditate 1.5 to 2 hours a day in the 2 weeks since I finished the retreat.

From my reading of your posts and Dan's info - I'm guessing these are features of "arising and passing".

My question is what should I be doing in response to these physical reactions?

Should I let them work themselves out  -i.e leave an arm to shake until its finished then move on to the next area - or should I be stopping the movements from escalating as the assistant teacher suggested?

I'm doing pretty well at maintaing equanimity while these movements are happening - focussing on the sensations and also the breathing through the nostrils. 

I was very interested (and relieved) when Goenka referred to the Metallurgist in one of his videos - who was having extreme physical reactions and how that was all fine. Clearly very different from the general instructions given - to stay still.

Any advice or thoughts would be very welcome. I'm pretty confused as you can imagine!

Don´t stop the movements. Do not fight them. Do not encourage or seek for them, either.
Simply do not interfere.

I´ve had that for the past 10 months, when I sit, and find it very beneficial.
The movement patterns change every few weeks. I have the impression that the complete body gets worked through in this way, kind of autonomous yoga or body cleansing programme. Severe and old tensions are removed in an effective and sustainable way. The only prerequisite seems to be sitting down regularly and for longer stretches (I do two one-hour-sittings per day), keep a wide, non-specific focus on body sensations, let go of expectations and imaginations where all this has to lead to.

In my case, during the last few weeks, the movements and shakings have become much less, and I expect them to die out in a few months time. A Zen teacher whom I trust in, told me that one of his students had that for two years. Then the body movements slowly disappeared, and now the student seems to be able to sit very relaxed.

I find the movements and the shaking very beneficial, although it is sometimes annoying because it does disturb (others and my) concentration. Yet, my posture has improved, I am much more relaxed. Very much. So I think, this is nothing to worry about at all.

On the internet it is advised - if these movements occur spontaneously - not to foster them specifically. Let the body do its work, it knows perfectly well what it needs to do, and how far to go. Kundalini yoga or pranayama stir up these energies in an artificial way, and are strongly advised against. Very cool meditative hatha yoga is recommended, if you feel you want to do some additional exercise.

Edit: this applies if you feel in general more relaxed after the body movements and shaking. If it exhausts you or makes you feel uncomfortably, even after getting up from the cushion, maybe you would want to check this with a teacher. (I do not know him and therefore cannot say anything about him, but recently I saw on batgap that Craig Holliday has experience with that. Maybe others know more teachers with knowledge on kundalini).

Hi Jo Jo

Thanks so much for your very helpful reply.  It's a relief to find someone who has experience of this and can share their experience.
Intuitively it feels right to 'let it do its work' - it seems incredibly methodical and detailed.  Feels like the body has been taken over by some expert body worker / yoga teacher.  The movements have definitely changed over the last 9 months or so and no only 'arise' when I'm sitting.

I've been following the technique learned on the Goenka Vipassanna retreat - i.e. focussing on sections of the body - 'part by part' from top of head to the toes and back again.  I find that the 'movements / shakings' etc follow wherever my attention goes.  I pause on that part until the shaking or whatever stops - then move on.

Do you think this is the way to go?  alternatively sometimes I just sit and wait and the body just starts moving somewhere.

I also wonder whether I should sit (on a meditation bench) or not.  Sitting means the legs are sort of constricted so all they can do is tense up or shake and I don't know if this is preventing the movements from full expression.  If I lie on my back the legs / whole body will go into full stretches / shaking and more yoga type postures.

I try also to keep focus on breathing / air flow through nostrils to prevent my mind wandering and the more extreme movements are pretty distracting.

If anyone has any thoughts on these dilemmas that'd be great.  I not wanting to lose the focus / attention aspect as sometimes it can just feel like I've been at an intense body work class - maybe kundalini yoga - (though I've never done that officially).

Many thanks

hm, strange format.

It makes sense to keep to attention on the sensations from the movements only.
I'll also do the combination of sitting and lying to allow it do what it needs to do.
I've ordered the book you mentioned and checked out Craig Holliday.
Can you remember where you came across his experience with Kundalini?

It was a typo at the beginning - I meant to say that the movements now only occur when I sit -
whereas 6 or so months ago they were harder to control and seems to arise at every opportunity
as it were.  Thanks again - I feel like I've got more confidence in how to manage and allow it to
unfold.  You've been really helpful.

The assistant teacher gave you bad advice, as happens quite frequently on Goenka retreats because they are generally not equipped with the knowledge or experience to deal with the inevitable reactions to the energy-practice-like orientation of body sensation scanning techniques - it stirs up stuff quickly, and as Daniel Ingram said to me years ago, the Goenka technique in particular is very effective at getting yogis to the A&P, too bad they don't know what to do with you once you get there
From my experience and my readings and talks with many experienced teachers about this very subject, you are free to let the movements work themselves out on their own, or to gently stop them, neither is an impediment to insight practice


You are doing the practive correctly then, developing awareness and equanimity and not getting lost in content


Jo Jo: 
You 've described my meditation practice precicely as well. I've had these symptoms in various changing degrees for 7.5 years so don't assume they will subside anytime soon, although from my research with most people they do. I think it depends on many things known and unknown (in a word karma if you believe in that) and as long as you accept the truth of reality as it is, without trying to change it (as the Goenka TA suggested) you are practicing well

It certainly can feel like possession however, fighting reality makes it worse

Hi,

Here is perhaps a slightly different view, based on a sample size of one, so take what I say with a big grain of salt.

In my experience movements like these are caused by long held tensions in the body. In meditation your body relaxes and when you are no longer holding the muscles as tightly the body starts trying to compensate for the tension by these movements. I mentally liken this to a dog shaking of stress/discomfort (watch dogs shake themselves when an uncomfortable situation resolves itself, it's kind of cool).

The tension usually has emotional roots (ie. you have "stuff" that needs to be dealt with) and will not go away until the issues causing them have been dealt with in one way or another, either using meditation or other methods.

There are countless methods for dealing with emotional stuff, I've had some luck with:
Foregiveness meditation: http://www.dhammasukha.org/forgiveness-meditation.html
Faster EFT: http://www.fastereft.com/
Faster EFT is my primary goto method.

I wish you the best of luck,
Simon

Like you, this is a problem I have had for a number of years. What has helped me to the greatest degree is FasterEFT - http://www.fastereft.com/ . It has also been mentioned by others here on the DhO as helping with precisely these types of problems in meditation.

Perhaps it is something you wish to look at look.

Good luck,
Simon

thanks Simon, I've tried faster EFT, reiki and bodywork and they seem to exacerbate the 'problem'
As I understand it kundalini is a natural process of digging up and clearing the stock of emotonal blockages from the body and mind in the form of energy
Most of the time the best method (for me) is surrendering to this natural process in a state of awareness and equanimity and letting it do it's thing
Faster EFT and the like tend to speed up this process when what is really needed is either letting it be, or when it's too much, slowing it down as best as possible, and bringing the energy down (instead of up)
That's why yogis are advised to back off energy practices and meditation, to do heavy exercise and grounding work, and to eat meat and other heavy foods when things speed up too much, in order to slow things down
Faster EFT works best (IME and IMO) for those that want to bring forth and clear emotional blockages when they aren't in the throes of kundalini (fire) purification - kundalini is already doing that work on auto pilot - sometimes in a pretty severe way
More methods like EFT and faster EFT add more fire to the flames, when you want water, and it may not be helpful, or even hurtful
But we're all experimenting on ourselves of course, and poison for me can be medicine for you. I agree with the other points you made

Hi Daniel,


I've alway had a hard time relating to this in terms of energy, almost to the point where i sometimes wonder if we are discussing different phenomena with identical symptoms. In my view it all comes down to tension and the causes of tension. If the emotional causes of the tension are dealt with the tension goes away and so does the shaking etc.


Surrender as a solution seems to work, but very slowly as there is no direct addressing of the root emotional issues.


I agree that stuff like meditation and energy practices that cause changes in the mind and body tend to speed up processes like this. However methods like Faster EFT which target specific emotional issues do not fall into this category in my experience.

In my view the difference lies in practices that cause releases on an entirely unconscious level, and in practices that consciously address specific emotional issues. The first category will cause an increase in bodily symptoms until some type of resolution is reached, the second category will not. The first category addresses lots of stuff in a generalized way, the second deals with issues one at a time.


For me, Faster EFT has done wonders to decrease the amount of body movements during meditation. I've never quite understood what qualifies one as being in the throes of kundalini purification, a very wide set of symptoms seem to be ascribed to kundalini. I certainly fall into certain of the categories, with the primary for me being a wide range of body movements during meditation (they can also be experienced when not sitting, but I quickly realized that was quite impractical . My investigations into the causes of these symptoms have lead me to the quite simple conclusions mentioned previously and kundalini and energies as a concept don't really fit into my conclusions.

It's also entirely possible that what I have experienced is simply not kundalini so we are discussing entirely different concepts with similar symptoms. However, the original posts description of body movements match my experiences very closely, so if that is kundalini, i guess my experiences would also fall into that category.

Anyway, this is all just my experiences. The conceptual frameworks and solutions that worked for me might be entirely invalid for someone else. Like you said, my medicine might be your poison.

Simon

For me it is all about the experiential phenomenon of energy/sensation - but let's see how closely our symptoms relate. In your movements are there symmetrical, non-random occurrances, such as forming spontaneous different mudras with your hands, your body going into yoga postures on it's own or making elaborate multi-directional bowing motions to the six directions? These are a sampling of things I experience. Others have experienced spontaneously chanting sanskrit mantras or seeing dieties, experiencing premonitions etc
In a normally functioning person (not undergoing a kundalini awakening), your statement is true that dealing with emotional causes causes tension to dissipate. The difference in a K awakening is that one can be in high equanimity and the sensations still spew forth uncontrollably. Scriptural reasons for this point to the active purificatory process of kundalini, it is digging at unconscious stuff that you are not experiencing in real time and eradicating it there, proactively. It is similiar to qigong or Goenka-taught vipassana but quite a bit more active and much more intense


When I say surrender I mean surrendering to the reality of the moment as it presents itself, so it would be impossible to not be addressing root emotional issues as that is what is coming up in real time


Sometimes issues present to me with emotional content, sometimes as sensation - mostly as sensation. Qigong, goenka-vipassana and kundalini teachings say that if you deal with the thoughts and sensations with equanimity and awareness (especially the sensations if not caught up in content - hopefully) then you're dealing at the deeper levels. This is my experience


It's true that there are many different theories and teachings as to what kundalini is, what constitutes a full awakening, and the different types of awakenings. For a taste of what I mean see http://kundalinicare.com/
I would say that it is hard to undergo a full awakening and not know it - though the symptoms differ, for most it is truly like you are posessed, by your higher self or kundalini or whatever you wish to call it. 'Symptoms' of a full awakening also tend to last (and change) for many years and many times decades. This would be the distinguishing marker IMO from a partial awakening or general energetic/A&P phenomena
The rabbit hole is deep though


Agreed, practice well

@ matthew: I listened to the Craig Holliday interview on batgap, and there he mentioned it. Also, when you google Craig Holliday, kundalini and youtube, you´ll find a few vids where he addresses this topic. I found helpful that he seems to be not too much dragged into this, unlike many of the kundalini guys on youtube. Apart from this, he is a non-dual teacher. I´m not into that, and therefore I wouldn´t turn to him specifically as a teacher. I found another helpful vid by Shinzen Young (8 minutes) where he talks about kriyas. Vids presenting a sober and uninvolved view on this phenomenon seem to be very rare, that´s why I mentioned Craig Holliday.

@ daniel: it lasted 7,5 years? Gosh! But eventually it did die out, did it? Or are you still practicing with this?

@ simon: how much time per day did you spend on this fastereft stuff, to make it work? I´m asking because the time I have is limited, and I feel that I must continue sitting 2 hrs per day in order to work properly on this, and get on. I´m a bit reluctant therefore, to include other practices, there are so many of them. I´d give it a try though, if it can be done with a small amount of time.

And, actually, I do not aim at reducing or removing the "symptoms". I do not consider the body movements as "symptoms" which have to be avoided or removed, because they result in deep physical relief - usually followed by some inexplicable relief on a psychological level, which I would describe as reduction of anxiety and other destructive states of the mind. I agree with you however in that I experience the movements as a totally physical phenomenon without anything mystical in it, probably trauma and stress reactions somehow "frozen" into the muscular system. @ daniel: This is not meant to dismiss your perception of the process, just my "symptoms" seem to have been gone not so far as yours.

"That's why yogis are advised to back off energy practices and meditation, to do heavy exercise and grounding work, and to eat meat and other heavy foods when things speed up too much, in order to slow things down"
lol I do all of these things and still my body decides to do weird movements when I sit. Nothing yogic or symetric yet though except sometimes anjali mudra in front of the chest or over head. It's not very intense and doesn't feel like "energy" so I don't think it's Kundalini, at least not like I imagine it to be.

One strange thing is that spontaneous movements occur much more often when I sit cross-legged compared to when I sit in a chair. Has anybody else noticed this? What could be the reason? Maybe it's because I'm not very good at sitting crosslegged yet and find it slightly uncomfortable. 

Hi Jo Jo
Yes, still practicing with it, but there is no anxiety around it
It is a natural process experienced by many people, the more you educate yourself about this the less fear, until there is  none
Practice well

Hi Pal,
I would intuit that it is due to constricting your auxilary pathways in your legs
If you sit on a chair with your feet on the ground there is a more clear movement and less bottlenecking may occur
It could also be a nerve thing in a less mystical sense and hatha yoga may help - but as far as I understand, sitting comfortably with a straight back is most important whether in a chair or on the floor (unless you have a Zen teacher : )
Similarly qigong also recommends space in the armpits to allow energy movement to flow more easily in the arms as well

Hi

It's been so useful reading the various thoughts and experiences around this.  I checked out the Craig Holliday vids and also a few by Shinzen Young.  One of his in particular was very interesting in which he recommends using two practices in response to the movements / Kriyas  i.e. not allowing the movements to happen and or giving permsission for it to happen.

'Not moving can make it easier to detect the (Subtler) underlying sensations as they're coming up.  You can't always detect them in which case just have a complete experience of the Kriya itself ...a more surface sensation ... if that's the best you can do at that time, that's fine'.

I got the impression that he thinks 'not moving'  is perhaps the higher path or something?

Are kriyas a different name for Kundalini movements?
His translation of Kriya as 'Cleansing / releasing action' is very interesting.

Listening to Craig Holliday describe being unable to walk, overpowering headaches, sleeplessness etc etc certainly makes the whole Kundalini process pretty daunting.

Shinzen Young referred to face contortions etc as being extreme kriyas.  The movements and sensations I've been experiencing would be in that category.  However I haven't had much rushing of energy up and down the spine or feelings of bliss as Craig Holliday describes.

The craving and aversion aspect seems quite strong - I know there's an aspect that feels 'special' and fascinated by the whole thing - while alternatively feeling quite scared / worried as to where it could lead.

The attractive thing about 'not allowing' the movements to progress is that there's the feeling of somehow not allowing it to 'feed on itself'
(I've no idea!) - and therefore become more extreme.
May Shinezen's advice to just detect the subtle impulse to move is enough?

Alternatively I get the idea that allowing it full expression is somehow stepping back and just observing it 'doing its thing'.

I guess it comes down to whether you trust that it fully 'wise' or whether its a force that can get 'out of control'.  It seems it create real havoc in people's lives.

One of the most daunting experiences I had was waking up to find my own hand 'strangling me'.  It was with some real force - and quite frightening - but I then realised it was actually just massaging my neck / tendons very strongly!  
I'm quite surprised how quickly I got used to the whole thing really.  I'm not so scared of it as it happens - more of what it could develop into I suppose.

This is a bit of a ramble - and I guess different teachers and traditions have their very different takes on it.

I'm tempted to alternate allowing and preventing and just see how that goes for a while.
When I 'prevent' - I get a sort of subtle body flow of small muscle contractions / shakes - like a domino effect through the body.  Its a smaller response but much faster from area to area.

Thanks again - its been so helpful and encouraging.

No. He simply presents two diff approaches how to work with them. He does not privilege one of the methods. He tells us to play around a bit with the two methods to find out which one suits us best. As I understood him.

Yes, I think so.

Auxiliary pathways? Sorry, I'm not a native english speaker.

No it's not you, I think I picked that phrase up from Robert Bruce
They refer to pathways in the arms and legs
It is recommended to work on these areas first - awareness of sensation here 'clears' them up 
The palms of the hands and soles of the feet are large 'energy exchange centers' where energy goes in and out
Heavy sensations exit (or transmute or?...) through these areas first and then progressively up the arms and legs respectively
Robert Bruce teaches that moving awareness through the hands/arms and feet/legs to 'activate' the energy there by being conscious of the sensations is a way to naturally wake it up and get it moving - nature should generally take care of the rest

edit x 1 bad grammar

You think scanning those areas would decrease spontaneous movements?
I used to do some kind of scanning that involved arms and legs and movements continued. But what's the problem with them anyway? On one hand they're a little distracting, but on the other they show that at least something is happening.

I'm reminder of something someone demonstrated to me in passing a while ago. They sit with the heel up and just the toe on the ground - this frees the leg up to take a lot more if desired.

I was going to say some other things but I'm not certain enough of them after reading the further discussion. However I'd like to make a technical note in the event it may be useful to someone's understanding. I disagree with Daniel L's definition of Kundalini. It is merely an energy. The process of digging up and resolving stuff is ONE of the possible EFFECTS that energy may have, but the effect is not the energy by any means, nor the whole of the "content" of the energy.

Specifically kundalini is one of many labels for a particular mode/configuration of "the one" unified energy, corresponding to sephirot Binah in Kabbalah. That is number three and would commonly be called something like Divine Mother. It is the upper level feminine energy - the yin of the unified tao energy (yin/yang symbol).

I'll have to come back later and check out the vids/teachings people are talking about. For now I'll just say I've spent a lot of time on various emotional healing stuff. It is been highly successful at that (and reaching quite deep) but has done nothing re: extreme muscle tension. Therefore I either have a bunch of hidden crap or I need to go actually just meditate and be equinamious with the feelings of tension. My recent insight is the latter and so far experience is backing this up.

Thanks for your thoughts - its all very helpful for me  - being very new to the whole thing.  I'm still experimenting with some sessions of 'allowing' and other's where I try to notice the underlying sensations and move on before the movements develop.  This idea was inspired by Shinzen Young in his video on Kriyas & Complete Experience - see the section about 8 minutes in.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9AHh9MvgyQ

When I allow the movements their 'full expression' it ends up feeling like a kundalini / stretch class - and can be hard to maintain 'equanimity' as it can be pretty 'physical'.  Having said that, I do attempt to just keep the attention on wherever the 'action' is occuring in the body.

Shinzen seems to be saying that noticing the early stages of the impulse to move is still allowing the expression.
I suppose I end up wondering whether allowing the full physical expression - i.e. an arm shaking violently for 5 minutes or the whole body writhing on the floor, may somehow be just reinforcing the response in an addictive or habit forming kind of way.

No idea!  It just seems so far away from how I've thought about meditating - i.e. being still and calm.

Hehehe! True.
Meditating is seeing WHAT IS rather than making up fake calm states.
When there is no calmness, there is none.
But: all is impermanent.

Just keep on experimenting. You´ll find out what works for you.

Hey Pal, sorry to respond so late, I was not subscribed to the thread
There is only one way to find out if arm and leg scanning would reduce movements and that would be to try it
If you were just shaking I would say yes for sure, but it is hard to say how long it would take
The fact that you are spontaneously making the anjali mudra is a different animal than shaking
Scholars disagree on the basics of what kundalini is, or rather how to define it
In my experience and research, the answer to that question is very much determined by the teacher's personal history and tradition that they follow (as tends to be the case with this spirituality business)
I would be pretty confident that scanning the feet and hands, arms and legs with relaxed/bare awareness would certainly not increase your symptoms, at least not in the medium or long term

I would actually agree with you there Visser


You and me both : )
This site is one detailed perspective on the kundalini system that I have found to be useful. It represents a particular teaching and tradition, like the Kabbalistic view, but I like teachings that are detailed and comprehensive - this fits the bill in that regard anyway

Agreed JoJo
@ Mathew, I will also add that, IME, when you remain aware and equanimous (I like the term 'bare awareness' but they're just words) that calm clear state will build naturally, you just have to be patient and allow the moment to express itself as it is, even if you're agitated of course
It is a fine line between shaking violently and cultivating calm and peace however, that is why some teachers will tell you not to allow shaking, it makes it more difficult to cultivate jhana. By the same token, repressing the movements keeps one away from the relaxation necessary to deepen concentration as well, so this could be a case of finding the middle path (keeping the correct tightness on your stringed instrument) to see what works for you. Personally, after a year at least of striving and pushing myself too hard in my practice, years ago, I prefer to err on the side of relaxation. It may be because my nature is anxiousness however and I only tend to get sleepy in meditation when I actually need rest. Those that get drousy may need to err on the side of effort, you can play around with it
If your arm is shaking try touching your thumb to your middle finger or your thumb to your index finger
I remember one of these mudras being called the purification mudra
My hands and arms shook pretty well in meditation for two or three years, one day they spontaneously formed this mudra (thumb to middle finger for me) and all shaking stopped. Hope it works for you too

This is a question for you, Jo Jo, and the original poster, Matthew.  There have been quite a few mentions in this post that physical tensions are often related to emotional blockages.  So I'm wondering then, why the responses are leaning towards more physical exertion - just in other ways.  Remember that in meditation there should be a balance between daily life and practice.  Have things been happening in daily life over time that are causing an excess of stress (aside from the fundamental kind)?  Jo Jo, you mention a reduction of anxiety and other destructive mind states after bodily movements... but what (again, aside from fundamental suffering stress) is happening that is causing anxiety and destructive mind states elsewhere, and are you dealing with that in a pragmatic daily life way in addition to meditation practices?  I'm talking from personal experience here, as I have made the mistake in the past of ignoring emotional baggage out of stubborness/fear and it lead to alot rockier of a practice during that time.

That´s a valid question, thank you for it. You are absolutely right. And there is more to this.

In my personal case. Coming from Zen background, I used to work on everyday issues consciously and systematically for a few years. I took the soto precepts ("kai") as a kind of koan. That was interesting work and improved my life and the life of those around me very much. Check e.g. John Daido Loori´s book "The heart of being - Moral and Ethical Teachings of Zen" to get the general idea. Certainly, other buddhist schools have similar teachings related to their respective schools.

Still, however hard I practiced off-cushion, there remained a hard core of destructivity, negativity, lethargy and passivity in me which I was totally unable to access. This hard core did not result from things actually happening around me. It was stinking old stuff. I used to think that this was "my character". Now I know that it was simply frozen life history, or to express it in a naive way: "karma" literally carved into the physical body.

My home-brew theory: The physical body is a store medium for karma, like a vinyl. It collects and shows every scratch you suffer in lifetime, be it suffering you inflict upon others, or suffering you receive from others. Unlike a vinyl, however, as long as the scratches are not too deeply engraved, you can obviously un-scratch the body from its history to a certain degree. Thats fascinating, isn´t it?

But, to do this, I think, at least during formal practice, you must radically leave content-level and work on this at a physical level. Be it by way of breaking down perceptions and note them away, as Mahasi-Style does, or by sitting through, as I did, or by breathing, as the Reichian guys do, whatever, you name it. It must be physical.

When in my case the "symptoms" started, I felt immediately that my hard core stuff was attacked. That, what had persisted independently from what actually was happening around me. That, which I had never been able to access by whatever training I had tried. The hard core has continued dissolving since. There was created a spiral towards the positive, and it originated clearly in the radical physical practice in the first place, however valuable the off-cushion practice may be.

When I went home on the bike, it occurred to me that my post sounds as if I was rejecting your idea. Therefore, an addition: I do continue practicing off-cushion. It just has become much easier. It has become less of a strain, and more of an experiment.

I've never been shaking, just twitching and moving and breathing forcefully now and then, during meditation. When I did scanning there was much more of those things compared to nowadays when I do nostril focus. Feels a little sad, I thought those things were cool to have and it feels kind of like that nostril awareness may not be as "effective" since those things don't happen as much any more.

I'm glad that it seems to be getting easier for you. Yea, I agree that during formal meditation practice (whether Mahasi style or others) that content shouldn't be engaged with.  But I will say that if there is alot of emotional stuff that is not being dealt with on a conventional level, it is going to come up intensely in practice at some point or another... and probably over and over again in unpredictable ways, until it is conventially dealt with. There's no hiding in insight.  Stay at it and remember to be gentle when you need to be.