"Still quite young" Den,
I'm still quite young and probably want to understand the common "purpose" of being. Isn't that what "enlightment" is about?
Ouh, now it is getting really philosphical. Sorry for that
"Being philosophical" is natural! This "Love of knowledge" is also "what's worth learning?" and "how to learn what's worth learning?" It is your life and I hope you get this chance for as long as you like.
Here is an excerpt from a book by Jack Kornfield referring to different expressions of what would be "enlightened" from some Buddhist practitioners,
An Excerpt from Bringing Home the Dharma: Awakening Right Where You Are by Jack Kornfield
"Whatever our gate to enlightenment, the first real taste, stream-entry, is followed by many more tastes as we learn to stabilize, deepen, and embody this wisdom in our own unique life. What does it look like? The facets of enlightenment express themselves marvelously in our teachers. Each manifests enlightenment with his or her own flavors.
"Dipa Ma, the wonderful grandmother in Calcutta who was one of our great masters, was a tiny person with a powerfully trained mind. Dipa Ma expressed enlightenment as love. She devotedly instructed her students in mindfulness and loving-kindness, and then she hugged them, putting her hands on their head, face, and shoulders, whispering metta phrases. They got drunk on love. Like Dipa Ma, Ammachi, a Hindu teacher from South India, manifests enlightenment as the 'hugging guru.' She goes into a trance, and all night long she holds people; she might take as many as two thousand people onto her lap and hug them. This is enlightenment as love.
"For Zen master Suzuki Roshi, enlightenment was expressed by being just where you are. A woman told Suzuki Roshi she found it difficult to mix Zen practice with the demands of being a householder: 'I feel I am trying to climb a ladder, but for every step upward I slip backward two steps.' 'Forget the ladder,' Suzuki Roshi told her. 'When you awaken, everything is right here on the ground.' He explained how the desire to gain anything means you miss the reality of the present. 'When you realize the truth that everything changes, and find your composure in it, there you find yourself in nirvana.' Asked further about enlightenment, Suzuki Roshi said, 'Strictly speaking, there are no enlightened beings; there is only enlightened activity.' If you think you are enlightened, that is not it. The goal is to let go of being anyone special and meet each moment with beginner's mind.
"Mahasi Sayadaw, the Burmese master, expressed enlightenment as emptiness. Watching him on his visits to America, we saw that he rarely laughed or judged. Instead, he exuded a quiet equanimity. Events and conversations would happen around him while he remained still. He was like space — transparent, nobody there. This is enlightenment as emptiness.
"For Ajahn Jumnien, a Thai forest master, awakening is not only empty, it's full. His robe is covered in hundreds of sacred medallions, and he employs dozens of skillful means to teach — guided meditations, sacred chants, mantras, chakra and energy practices, forest medicines, animal stories and shamanic rituals. His dharma is all-hours, nonstop, full of life and joy. There's a sense of abundance in him, and happiness just pours out like a fountain. He expresses enlightenment as fullness.
"Thich Nhat Hanh expresses enlightenment as mindfulness. When he has come to teach at Spirit Rock, two thousand people sit meditatively on the hillside and eat their apples mindfully in preparation for his arrival. A bell is rung, and he walks slowly and deliberately up the road — so mindfully that everyone sighs, 'Ahhh.' The consciousness of two thousand people is transformed just seeing this man walk, each step the whole universe. As we watch, we drop into the reality of the eternal present. This is where we awaken. Enlightenment as mindfulness.
"The Dalai Lama expresses enlightenment as compassionate blessing. For instance, once at the end of his stay at a San Francisco hotel, he asked the management to bring out all the employees. This meant the people who chop vegetables in the kitchen, who clean the carpets late at night, who make the beds. The big circular driveway filled with all those who made this hotel work but who were usually unrecognized. One by one, he looked at each one with full presence, took each person's hand, and said, 'Thank you,' moving unhurriedly just to make sure that he connected with each one fully. The Dalai Lama personifies enlightenment as compassionate blessing.
"Ajahn Chah's manifestation was the laughter of wisdom. Whether with generals or ministers, farmers or cooks, he would say, 'When I see how much people are struggling, I look at them with great sympathy and ask, "Are you suffering? Ahhh, you must be very attached. Why not let go?" ' His teachings were deep and straight to the point. He'd say, 'If you let go a little, you'll be a little happy. If you let go a lot, you'll be a lot happy. If you let go completely, you'll be completely happy.' He saw suffering, its cause, and that freedom is possible in any moment. He expressed enlightenment as wisdom."
The word "enlightened" in English has an additive effect as in the Western period of
Enlightenment when one was adding skills, like reading and learning facts as well as taking personal responsibility, being skeptical of authorities, trying to find new ways of living in community. This sort of "enlightenment" can also be associated with Buddhist "nibbana" ("unbinding", "blowing out" like a flame, often translated "enlightened", "awakened"), in particular with regards to one's impact/influence in community (also known as: social responsibility).
Here's a paradox in Enlightenment (as above) : there is the intention to become autonomous, knowledgeable, skeptical and personally accountable and to contribute to community (if one lives in community) and yet communities are (for a social animal) an authoritative, social regulator!
So some communities institutionalize this paradox by welcoming debate and argumentation, knowing that argumentation and challenge exists in communities which value autonomy, ongoing knowledge, change...
So there can the behaviour of the "Golden Rule" alongside vigorous debate.
There are many buddhist traditions, so if you like buddhism then you can visit and practice well in different traditions.
There are many philosophies to consider for one's life, including even anarchy. Across Buddhist traditions, though, there are four tenants:
seeing that there is dukkha (stress, unsatisfactoriness),
seeing that there is a cause of dukkha,
seeing that there is an end to dukkha,
and there is a path to practice which causes this end of dukkha (the unbinding through non-clinging).
In general, across Buddhist traditions, one point of relief from dukkha (stress, unsatisfactoriness) is said
to experience life/to live without clinging in any moment.
And like other philosophies, there are said to be reliable behaviours to employ along the way. In Buddhism these are
paramis/paramitas, which differ a little from tradition to tradition, but are similar to this:
generosity
ethical discipline
patience
joyous perseverance
meditative stabilization
wisdom
It is very hard to find anyone who practices such lists of perfected mind perfectly or to find any person who
only has skilful mental states like the four brahma viharas: friendliness, compassion, altruistic joy, equanimity. I have not met this person in the mirror or anywhere else.
Knowing this imperfection, a person may work on themselves among others, aiming to "not cling" to own-mistakes and aiming to "not cling" to others' mistakes. Around the world communities that experience violence within their own communities work very hard for reconciliation.
Here is a TEDTalk on why it's useful to everyone to move on in reconcilation as soon as possible, with Dr. Nadine Burke.
So communities try to institutionalize dynamic debate, working together, and reconciliation between the two.
Back to Buddhism: in addition to social engagment in a constantly dynamic environment (changing sentients, changing environment), it values personal attention to mind-- meditation-- so as to learn in a controlled environment like sitting on a cushion or practicing a repetitive chant or a repetitive craft--
how is mind moving about,
what is the mind urging one to do and
do we need to do that? So there is meditation in action and meditation on the cushion and learning
what does the mind do about
what places a mind can alight (satipatthana).It can be quite a study, years,
feeling attraction for the study and
revulsion for the study. And the investigation is happening while the person and the world are still changing. This can be overwhelming.
So usually meditation is "housed" in calming practices, like breathing meditation. Breathing meditation "calms" the brainstem and can reduce the chances a person may interact with fight-flight-freezing conduct, untill a person may no longer give rise to those emotions: fighting, fleeing, freezing. I have not met such a person in the mirror or in others, but admire the effort and re-effort in anyone.
Edit 2: Again, to your opening post, like others, in using ānāpānasati, I do not separate insight and concentration practice, but I have seen in others where it is useful to study the mind with a view that there are two distinct practices. So hopefully you find a community and practice with them in person for bit to get started in something that suits you at this moment.
That's a lot. I hope there's something useful in there for you, if only the realization that you may start somewhere with some practice you think you may like, and to try not to be exploited, to try not to exploit--
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editx1: typos, clarity
