Hello, Hello!

Garrett E, modified 8 Years ago at 9/25/15 4:43 PM
Created 8 Years ago at 9/25/15 4:43 PM

Hello, Hello!

Posts: 21 Join Date: 7/6/11 Recent Posts
Greetings dharma companions,
I’m a 22 year old dharma nerd living in Portland, Oregon. I am currently in my senior year of my undergrad in conflict resolution, interested in connecting the topic to spiritual practice/concepts and heart work/healing, particularly around gender issues. I find that sort of heartwork really supports my capacity to engage in insight practice; I’ve been thinking about the circle of practice and how engagement in life/relationship and heartwork supports and helps open up insight practice and how insight practice in turn supports that work, but that is a post for another time.
As far as practice goes, I attained stream entry just over two years ago. I’ve kept up my daily practice since leaving residential training in December 2013, though I have been less hardcore focused on the maps and on progress, and more focused on “making practice my own again” and doing some “deprogramming” from what was not an entirely healthy (understatement) community and teacher relationship. Recently though, I’ve been feeling much more confident in my practice. I listened to the MCTB audiobook (heaving read the hardcover some years ago) and felt both inspiration and empowerment in my own practice and a rekindled interest/love for maps, models, and pragmatism. Also, Kirk’s voice makes Daniel’s cutting commentary much more palatable! Hahaha. This was a theoretical orientation I had been shying away from, as I have been burned by the shadow side of map obsession, unbalanced striving, and goal-oriented practice, but I now feel that there is no sense in hiding from that potential shadow side, especially considering the energy and genuine enthusiasm I get from the pragmatic/model oriented approach. Further, I now feel more confident that I have the maturity and experience to balance that approach with a more poetic, heart-centered, and non-dual understanding and to honor the parts of my being that are drawn to each approach, hopefully discovering a more mature, practical, and compassionate synthesis that gives me the best of both worlds!
Anyway, discerning the best I can, the cutting edge of my practice (end of a 50 minute sit) is in equanimity territory – past the initial chunkiness of low EQ and beginning to perceive formations with sporadic clarity, thoughts beginning to be perceived as just another part of the field, flowing through frictionlessly, and with things like effort and intention beginning to do the same, though with some subtle tensions and vague sense of separation still present. Based on my sit this morning, my cutting edge seems to be just past the mini-DN of equanimity, where the subtler attachments are squeezed out. I had a fair bit of luck with just surrendering and letting go into that vague sense of confusion/suffering that remained, with the experience of formations arising out of this. I would describe formations as the experiencing of the whole of the sense world as a sort of seamless field, I also like the description, “frictionless mind.”
First path DN/EQ took me quite a bit of time, effort, and difficulty to navigate (who knew you couldn’t muscle your way through EQ), but I feel much more confident in my capacity than I did back then. That said, I’m not sure how long it will take me to tag 2nd path, given that my daily schedule is soon to become quite busy and w/o time for retreat. I don’t feel particularly concerned about that though, and I am committed to at least one 50 minute sit a day and to gentle investigation during daily life. I’ll try to keep this thread periodically updated with practice stuff and would love to hear any tips/hints from people who have successfully navigated this territory. While my immediate practice goal is 2nd path, I am also interested in getting a better understanding of the first four jhanas and matching my experience to the maps. I have plenty more to share, learn, and investigate together.

Lastly, I would love to hang out with other dharma nerds, so if any of ya’ll are in Portland, let me know and we can talk dharma practice and theory! emoticon

Warmly,
Garrett
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katy steger,thru11615 with thanks, modified 8 Years ago at 9/26/15 3:32 AM
Created 8 Years ago at 9/26/15 3:32 AM

RE: Hello, Hello!

Posts: 1740 Join Date: 10/1/11 Recent Posts
Hi Garrett E:

Welcome (back).
 I’ll try to keep this thread periodically updated with practice stuff and would love to hear any tips/hints from people who have successfully navigated this territory.
Lily de Silva, "Nibbana as Living Experience"
Nibbana is so called because it is the blowing out of the fires of greed, hatred, and delusion (raagaggi, dosaggi, mohaggi) .[3] When these fires are blown out peace is attained, and one becomes completely cooled — siitibhuuta .[4]

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/desilva/wheel407.html#fnt-1-3 
[3] Samyutta Nikaya, IV 19; 
[4] Sutta nipata, 542,642

Even across Buddhist traditions these are three mental states said to be dissipated by the practice (a goal, if you will). Even across secular humanism and other religions/frames greed and hatred are commonly contraindocated (while "delusion" may mean many things to many  people).

Soooo...back to your own useful evidence:
First path DN/EQ took me quite a bit of time, effort, and difficulty to navigate (who knew you couldn’t muscle your way through EQ), but I feel much more confident in my capacity than I did back then.

I can contribute the following personal notes of practice is this way:

While sometimes strongly committ effort is needed to just sit, the whole of sitting practice is a towards releasing, nothing attained, all paths being releases via understanding. Constant letting go of striving, tensions to gain/obtain, reward-wanting, just sitting alert and calm, just watching how mind arises and passes in phenomena.

I let attention suction itself to the breath. Inhale is the source of wakefulness (and ideation), while base of the exhale is commonly a place of quiet and the exhale cascade is mentally quieting.

Releasing physical tension through stretching and long, slow deep breathing can be helpful.

Sitting without regard to time and in ease/relatively still is generally an indication of mind and body relaxing into equanimity, a stable attentional vantage to observe mentation/mood/sensations arising and passing and nothing.

Best wishes =]
Garrett E, modified 8 Years ago at 10/1/15 9:21 PM
Created 8 Years ago at 10/1/15 9:19 PM

RE: Hello, Hello!

Posts: 21 Join Date: 7/6/11 Recent Posts
Hi Katy,

Thanks for the response,

katy steger:
While sometimes strongly committ effort is needed to just sit, the whole of sitting practice is a towards releasing, nothing attained, all paths being releases via understanding. Constant letting go of striving, tensions to gain/obtain, reward-wanting, just sitting alert and calm, just watching how mind arises and passes in phenomena.


Ah, yes, this is important for me to remember. For me, this is what Desire for Deliverance and Re-Observation are all about, the mind’s only option is to release its hold on striving, clinging, and wanting. Especially in recent sits, there comes a point where I can sense that there is some clinging or tension of gain/loss that is happening and seeing that, the mind naturally moves towards the release of whatever it is caught on. During times of less equanimity/lower concentration, this can have some emotional components of fear, but recently it has been happening in a more natural, almost on-its-own sort of way.

In the last week or so I’ve also been adding more of a concentration component to me daily practice, big thanks to Nick and Kenneth’s tour through the jhanas (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRdiOoTZC3A&list=PLJUl8JyDRJlIrff45WdlX5LUbfm0ld_vz). After 10 or 15 minutes of hanging out in the subtle bliss, peace, and spaciousness of concentration, I begin insight practice. Starting this way makes it much easier to stay on the sensate level and maintain a fair degree of equanimity (the sensations of which I am careful to include in my investigation).

Garrett