Is this access concentration?

KundaliniLinguini, modified 7 Years ago at 12/14/16 12:24 PM
Created 7 Years ago at 12/14/16 12:24 PM

Is this access concentration?

Posts: 39 Join Date: 1/9/16 Recent Posts
When I sit and pay attention to the sensations of the breath in the body, which seems to be something I have to control manually, after about 30 minutes I get very calm and then all kinds of energy sensations begin in the body. There is a slightly increased luminance in the visual field and the body feels warm and glowy. There are some sensations of having an energy body that starts to move around the surface of the body, especially the hands. The energy seems to be radiating out from the body, and up through the head. This reveals that in the head is a distinct bubble wherein resides my sense of self. If is attached to a scar on my scalp and skull from where I was bitten by a dog at age 1.5. It is also connected on the same side within an inch or so to where I was shot with a pellet gun and where a pellet still resides in my skull behind my left eye. It seems that my identity and sense of control and separation are intimately entangled with these physical remnants of past trauma. The energy seems to want to cook / dissolve this trauma and I just sit for another half hour watching breathing and trying not to think about anything but these scars and my sense of separation and control seem just very deeply entrenched. Am I on the right track? Do I need to just continue and eventually something will break loose or dissolve? Should I change my approach at all?

Thanks,

Josh
Vail M P, modified 7 Years ago at 12/15/16 6:26 PM
Created 7 Years ago at 12/15/16 6:26 PM

RE: Is this access concentration?

Post: 1 Join Date: 12/15/16 Recent Posts
Howdy! Seems like you have been on the right track to access concentration / Jhana. I would recommend staying focused on whatever it is that you have picked (breath, sensations, etc) and continue your journey. No harm from what you have been experiencing, and congratulations! Keep doing what you're doing.
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old dried leaf, modified 7 Years ago at 1/7/17 8:02 AM
Created 7 Years ago at 1/7/17 8:01 AM

RE: Is this access concentration?

Posts: 40 Join Date: 8/7/13 Recent Posts
What I understand is that you are saying that after meditating for a bit of time, you notice that your body sensations are emerging dominatly from positions on your head.  From this point you would rather focus on breath sensations, but the head sensations are distracting you.

Guessing that energy wants to cook/dissolve trauma sounds like a good guess, I personally don't know what is happening, and I'd say your guess would outweigh anyone elses, since it is your personal experience.

Your problem essentially sounds like you are trying to meditate, but you are being distracted.  If you don't know if you actually should replace your focus from the breath to the head, then you will need to make that decision yourself--it would be pretensious for me to tell you what you should be focusing on.  

However, what I would do is, the next time head sensations become dominate sensations, I would choose that as my object of meditation.  The breath is just typically the best meditation object for most people, but not always, so it is helpful to get comfortable with other body areas as meditation objects.  I would do vipassana with the head sensations.  I would do that because the head sensations are naturally dominating awareness, so they would not require extra effort to keep in the foreground of experience.  If vipassana felt too tense, then I would do samatha with the head sensations instead.  

I am interested in hearing how your experience continues, take care.
KundaliniLinguini, modified 7 Years ago at 1/10/17 8:31 AM
Created 7 Years ago at 1/10/17 8:31 AM

RE: Is this access concentration?

Posts: 39 Join Date: 1/9/16 Recent Posts
Please explain how you would "do vipassana with the head sensations". Thank you!
Banned For waht?, modified 7 Years ago at 1/12/17 9:36 AM
Created 7 Years ago at 1/12/17 9:36 AM

RE: Is this access concentration?

Posts: 500 Join Date: 7/14/13 Recent Posts
See phenomena as just phenomena. Read Satipatthana Sutta. Its freely downloadable in internet.
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old dried leaf, modified 7 Years ago at 1/12/17 7:07 PM
Created 7 Years ago at 1/12/17 7:07 PM

RE: Is this access concentration?

Posts: 40 Join Date: 8/7/13 Recent Posts
Linguini,
How I would do vipassana with head sensations would be to focus on its impermanence.  I would focus on trying to see the beginning and end of each individual sensation.  Each of those sensations are a little piece from within the whole of "the feeling of the head."

Normally when you focus on your head, you will experience a lump sensation that is really an aggregation of many smaller individual sensations.  Like how a rock is an aggregation of millions of rock granuals, but when you pick it up, you just feel one rock.

Another way to put it would be to try to separate out each feeling of the head that is within the whole feeling of the head.  Or, using the rock metaphor, imagine rubbing your thumb across the rock, but try to pay attention to all of the small individual textural differences--rather than the whole rock itself.
KundaliniLinguini, modified 7 Years ago at 1/12/17 7:12 PM
Created 7 Years ago at 1/12/17 7:11 PM

RE: Is this access concentration?

Posts: 39 Join Date: 1/9/16 Recent Posts
OK, but see... My head sensations feel like a giant invisible octopus is attacking my entire head and face. It is very painful, continuous, and I can stare at it for hours and it never goes away or breaks up. I can't even feel my real head, skull, skin, etc... as those basic sensations are drowned out by the intensity of this strange spiritual / kundalini / crown / third eye octopus sensation. It all seems driven by the sensation of blood pumping into my head, which isn't going to end until my body dies.
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old dried leaf, modified 7 Years ago at 1/13/17 2:32 PM
Created 7 Years ago at 1/13/17 2:22 PM

RE: Is this access concentration?

Posts: 40 Join Date: 8/7/13 Recent Posts
KundaliniLinguini:
OK, but see... My head sensations feel like a giant invisible octopus is attacking my entire head and face. It is very painful, continuous, and I can stare at it for hours and it never goes away or breaks up. I can't even feel my real head, skull, skin, etc... as those basic sensations are drowned out by the intensity of this strange spiritual / kundalini / crown / third eye octopus sensation. It all seems driven by the sensation of blood pumping into my head, which isn't going to end until my body dies.
Let it attack your face.  If you meditate to try to change it, or end it, you are approaching meditation with an incorrect attitude.  I would still approach this the same way as I suggested even after regarding what you've said here. 

Try meditating for three hours without stopping, during that time, cycle between using vipasanna and samatha on the head, select whichever feels more useful.  A long sustained session may help you see your condition in a different, more clear way.  Seeing in a more clear way will allow you to practice your meditation in more skillful ways.  An example of a clear-view that improves the way you meditate could be that you had always intended to do vipassana on the breath, but you were never actually recognizing the pause between the inhale and exhale.  But now you are recognizing the inhale, pause, and exhale.

Perhaps try to (metaphorically) experience the octopuses mantel, beak, siphon, each small suction cup, as they arise and pass.
KundaliniLinguini, modified 7 Years ago at 1/13/17 2:29 PM
Created 7 Years ago at 1/13/17 2:29 PM

RE: Is this access concentration?

Posts: 39 Join Date: 1/9/16 Recent Posts
Sadhu. Thank you.
Banned For waht?, modified 7 Years ago at 1/14/17 9:27 AM
Created 7 Years ago at 1/14/17 9:21 AM

RE: Is this access concentration?

Posts: 500 Join Date: 7/14/13 Recent Posts
the energy or the sensation like there is energy moving you should ignore atleast don't put much importance to that dust what rises.

The focus point or awareness you move around cuts open the space and reveals a cavity or nothingness and the energetical sensation is what is on its sides. Like you would cut butter or any other thing.

Even if you think there is a focus point or a point of concentration in space and cavity, trails. If you don't think there still is movement and focuspoint.

But there is a cutter or a doer, you don't know how to put down the knife. Its after you have satisfied that pussy or octopus.

*pretty much secluded from sensuality you enter into 1st jhana emoticon

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